Love & Hate Series Box Set (Love & Hate #1-2)

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  Soon the trail splits right and left. To me, both paths look difficult.

  “Which way now?” she asks, her face flushed as she leans forward, breathing hard. I look around the sloppy path, scratching my head in confusion. Either way we will get to the top, so I don’t think it’s a hard decision.

  “Always right.”

  She nods and we carry on. The mountain is steep and my legs are aching. India is awfully quiet and I’m wondering if she is cursing me off in her head because I dragged her here. The road is filled with rocks and every single step is getting harder and higher.

  Twenty minutes later, we reach the top. We are both knackered, sweaty, and ready to get back down. The view from the medieval fortification’s wall is staggering. From there we can see the whole of Cefalu, the beach, the wide-open ocean and the marina on the other side. It’s still hot and the sun is slowly going down, but there aren’t many people we’ve met along the way. I spot another couple on the other side. India asks me to take a few pictures of her. She looks tired, but satisfied. I grab the camera and snap a few good pictures, capturing that mesmerising view.

  Then I approach her, trying to stay calm, but my heart is pounding. I’ve been planning this since Dora mentioned Sicily. It is a romantic place where no one can interrupt us, and this moment seems perfect.

  “India, please let me apologise to you one more time,” I say, moving closer than I should. She looks at me as if distancing herself, like she is not sure what I’m going to do next and afraid of any intimate contact. I touch her cheek and move her hair aside, staring deep into her eyes. “Please believe that I’m sorry. I was pissed off and angry. I realised too late how much I hurt you.”

  I move closer again and within moments we are only a few inches apart. She looks back, softening her tense expression. I want to kiss her so badly and feel her body, knowing that she is only mine.

  “Oliver, this is not that simple. I wanted to tell you about the rape many times, but there was always something that held me back.”

  I bring her to my chest, remembering how angry I was back then and that I didn’t even listen because I’ve been such an arsehole. I close my eyes, running my hand over her back. Silence is the witness to our intimacy, as my heart beats rapidly. She relaxes afterwards and I inhale her perfume, pushing the bad memories away. It’s just us and right at this moment the past is no longer relevant. Desire creeps over my skin and my dick strains in my trousers, poking her thigh. India lifts her head, searching for my eyes.

  “You need to give me time, Oliver. I feel like I’ll never be rid of the past,” she says, biting her lips.

  “I know, so don’t think about this too much, just take as much time as you want.”

  She nods and wraps her hands around my waist, pressing her head to my heart. I’m afraid to let go of her. It’s going to be all right between us from now on. It took me a long time to come to terms with my mother and forgive her. It’s the same for India. She is scared that I’m going to take advantage of her again. I want to think that a heavy guilt has vanished, but at least India is willing to consider forgiving me. Evans is still her boyfriend and I didn’t make this any easier for them.

  We leave La Rocca a few minutes later in silence. The path down is equally exhausting as the path up. We don’t get much rest by the time we reach our hotel. Within half an hour we have to pack and head to Palermo, which is our next amazing stop.

  Later on, just before we are loading the bus, I call the restaurant that I checked out yesterday online and luckily, I manage to book a table for us. The manager didn’t speak much English, but somehow he understood what I wanted. India talks to me a bit more than she did on the plane during this trip. There is an obvious tension between us, but it’s a slow progress.

  The trip to Palermo takes around an hour, driving through the beautiful Sicilian coastline. Dora has sent me a million messages demanding to know how things are going with India, not taking my bullshit about a broken phone. She probably pushed Jacob to keep phoning me until I answer. They have to wait until we both come back because I’m fed up with games. I don’t want India to think that something is wrong. We have another four days left and I’m determined to regain her trust in me.

  The capital of Sicily is busy and the drivers are even crazier than in the countryside. I wonder how we got to our hotel in one piece. Michael distributes the maps for tomorrow as we stop a few miles outside the city centre at the hotel. A loud Italian man runs it with his wife. I’ve done research about this famous Italian city that teems with life and a unique atmosphere. It’s a widely populated place, full of rich history, art, music and of course, food. Once the bus driver finally lets us out, we check in quickly, then head to our room. The dinner is set for an hour later, but I let Michael know that we will be going out. India doesn’t bring up the subject of sharing a room with me again.

  “Just don’t get lost and stay away from trouble,” Michael warns me, not too keen to let me out on my own. Like in any foreign city, I have to know the limits, avoid dangerous areas and just keep away from dodgy individuals.

  “I’m taking you out for dinner, and before you say anything, just get dressed. I’ll be waiting outside,” I tell India once we get to our room. She wants to protest and ask questions, but I just tell her to get ready and she vanishes into the bathroom. It’s a special dinner and I want to get everything out on the table. No more lies and secrets.

  I hang a bit outside the hotel. looking at the people that pass by on the street. It’s getting dark and I wish that everything were much simpler than it is now. I’m nervous and that’s never happened before on any other date, if I can even call this a date. India shows up later, wearing a short black dress that exposes her magnificent legs. She smiles when she sees me, for the first time since the incident in the restaurant months ago. She seems genuinely happy to be with me.

  “I don’t get it. Why do you want to go out?” she asks. “The girls said that the food looks stunning in the hotel restaurant.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I want to treat you and I think we both know that I owe you this.”

  She doesn’t agree with me and starts telling me that I don’t have to prove anything to her. We end up arguing. I take her hand and I know that she doesn’t fucking like it. Right now, I’m fed up with this conversation, and the table is waiting.

  She finally quiets down as we get in a taxi. She knows that she won’t win with me, and tonight I want to make this evening very special. Unfortunately, the taxi driver doesn’t speak any English, but he knows straight away where to go when I show him the address. This restaurant is pretty famous in Palermo and it has great ratings, so I’m confident that food is going to be delicious.

  The drive isn’t long, and after fifteen minutes of a journey through hell and twenty euros shorter, we are at the main square. The old, famous cathedral is impressive. I snap a few shots of India in the background. Downtown Palermo teems with life in the evening, brimming with a lot of young people from all over the world. We take a few more pictures, admiring the architecture. I switch on my navigator and within another fifteen minutes I locate the restaurant.

  “Welcome, signorina and signore,” a tall Italian waiter with a moustache greets us as we walk inside. We get a table on the roof terrace that overlooks a few beautiful monuments. Another waiter lights a candle and for a brief moment, it’s only us. The menu looks excellent and I order a few cocktails for starters. This whole setup feels like it’s a dream. Only a couple of weeks ago we were both fighting, and now we are both eating a special meal in one of the most beautiful cities of Europe.

  “How do you feel now that your mother is back in your life?” she asks, nibbling her food as she turns the conversation to a serious subject.

  “It was tough and it still is. Christian was taking after my father, who wasn’t a good person. I should have seen it coming, India. I should have known that something wasn’t right,” I say, shaking my head in anger. “That bastard ruined bo
th our lives because he hated that I could have been happy.”

  “I know that this sounds bad, but I’m glad that Christian is dead. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out if that accident had not happened.”

  I nod because I know exactly what she is talking about. It’s like a heavy load had been lifted off both our shoulders when he crashed that car.

  “Maybe this is bad timing, but I don’t want to hide anymore,” I say. “My mother told me some stuff, about her past and my father.”

  “Your mother didn’t have an easy life. I know that you might disagree because of the way she treated you.”

  “He beat her up and raped her—and nine months later I was born. That’s why she treated me the way she did. It was her illness, yes, but that’s an additional reason.”

  India stops playing with her fork and looks at me with those large eyes that are full of regret and worry.

  “Oliver, how… oh, my God.”

  I tense my jaw, looking at the love of my life as she finally starts putting all the pieces together. Yeah, it all started because my father was a wanker. He infected my brother with his shit.“I just wanted to tell you so it’s all in the open. We are both honest now. She hated me because she couldn’t hate anyone else.”

  “What you did to me was horrible, but I owe you an apology.”

  “No,” I say, pushing my plate forward, trying to stay calm and collected. “You don’t need to apologise. That fucker shouldn’t have touched you.”

  “Let’s not talk about this. Your father is dead, so your mother doesn’t need to remember. Christian is in the past. That’s it. You organised this trip especially for me. I didn’t want to give you another chance. You need to know that Russell isn’t just a stopgap and I’m going to sort things between us. He was there for me when you hurt me the most.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you.”

  “Stop apologising. I’ve heard enough. It’s all going be fine from now on, but I don’t know what you expect.”

  “I just want us be friends, that’s all.”

  “I’m happy with that arrangement, but the questions is—can you tolerate another man in my life?”

  I tense my jaw, trying to eat my food. “Why wouldn’t I? Of course. That’s what friendship is about.”

  Yeah, she is right. It’s going to be fucking hard to accept that India doesn’t belong to me. I can tell that she is scared of what’s going to happen to us. The next couple of weeks will tell how I’m imagining my relationship with her. Evans is going to be there. He cares for her and I have no right to demand that she give me another shot when it comes to a relationship. I have to show her that her new love doesn’t bother me at all, even if I’m dying inside.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  Vacationers.

  Present

  Our main courses finally arrive and for a while we enjoy delicious fish courses, ditching the uncomfortable subject. Within a few minutes, an older Italian man approaches our table, playing a guitar and singing a romantic tune. The restaurant is busy, but all of a sudden everyone stops eating to listen to his magical music. India smiles, relaxing even more, and the stranger enchants the whole restaurant with his deep voice. The food is mouthwatering and in the end we both try at least three different desserts with a couple more drinks.

  It’s late when we get back to the hotel. Under our hotel door is a little note from Michael about an early start tomorrow. Then we both go to our separate beds, but I’m not tired and I know that India is not either. Outside I hear the busy road. It sounds like Italy doesn’t fall asleep even in the evening. I want to get up and slide into bed with her, but I know that this would completely contradict everything I said earlier on. Her feelings are the most important and I can’t screw this up again. I fall asleep eventually, knowing that I have to make more of an effort. She won’t see me as a changed man otherwise.

  When morning arrives, I wake up refreshed and ready for another day of adventure, but India isn’t in the room. I slept like a baby last night and she probably didn’t want to wake me, so she went for breakfast on her own. It’s just after nine when I dress, wondering how to make this day special for her.

  Most people from our group are already in the restaurant. India is sitting amongst a few girls, talking and laughing. I load my plate with lots of yummy meat and anything that I haven’t tried yet and sit by a few blokes I sort of know. India gives me a smile and I wink at her, knowing that it’s just a matter of time. Her attitude towards me has already shifted.

  “Okay, ladies and gentleman, listen up. It’s a busy day, so I don’t want to repeat myself,” Michael says, as I’m stuffing my face with food. Even in the morning, everything is so fresh.

  Michael talks about the day ahead of us. The bus will take us to downtown Palermo, where we will meet our guide. The plan is to see as much as we can and taste even more delicious food.

  “Morning, sleeping beauty,” India teases me as we get back to the room.

  “Morning. I see that you’re making friends.”

  She caught some sun yesterday and looks very sexy wearing white shorts and a short top that shows off her cleavage.

  “Lidia and Chloe invited me over to a party. They are going to the club later on.”

  “In that case, I’m going to invite myself along.”

  She frowns, so I quickly add, “Someone needs to keep an eye on you ladies. Palermo is the heart of the mafia.”

  “I’m sure we will be fine.”

  “I’ll be there as your own personal bodyguard.” I chuckle, sending her my classic wink that normally can bring any girl to my side, but India doesn’t look too happy with the fact that I insist on going with them. There is no way on this earth that I’m letting her go alone to downtown Palermo clubbing. It’s still a foreign city and danger awaits at every corner. We don’t have a chance to discuss anything because we have to pack and meet outside with the rest of the group in five minutes.

  The mornings are the worst because I keep waking up with a constant hard-on. I try to tell myself that we are not together, but my dick twitches every time she touches me.

  As I suspected, the day ahead of us is fucking busy. This time our guide is male, a quite good-looking one, so all the girls are melting as he starts talking. He isn’t very popular amongst us men. Shortly after that we all get squeezed into a smaller bus without air conditioning, and we visit Monreale Norman Cathedral, Stanze al Genio, Santa Maria dell'Ammiraglio (La Martorana), Palazzo Chiaramonte, Monte Pellegrino and many other sites. After two o’clock, I lose count of the places we are seeing. My camera is full of snaps of India. I love travelling and seeing different places, but our day is a little too hectic for my liking. Palermo has too much to offer. India looks impressed, trying to take as many pictures as she can. We have a light bite to eat later on before getting back to the bus. It’s after six when we get back to the hotel and everyone is pretty much knackered. My legs are fucking aching and I want to spend the rest of the evening with a cold lager on the terrace or having a long nap.

  “How about a small nap before your clubbing idea?” I ask, as we come back in the room.

  “Yeah, that was pretty exhausting.”

  I take my shoes and move. “Come here sexy, cuddle with me. I promise not to try anything,” I suggest.

  She looks at me for a long time, probably contemplating if it’s a good idea; then she takes her dress off and slides inside my sheets, wearing only a white bra and knickers. I can hear her heartbeat as her body teases mine. We stay like that until she falls asleep, but I’m hard and it is so much trouble. She fits perfectly against my body and I want to have her right now.

  I don’t know how I did it, but eventually the exhaustion from the heat and the day takes over and I fall asleep as I listen to her even breaths.

  We don’t wake up in time to go out. From what I hear the next day, the girls tried to knock on our door, but we were fast asleep, so we didn’t hea
r them. I wake up sometime in the early morning with a body on top of me. For a split second I have no idea that I’m moving my hands over bare legs, thinking that I’m still dreaming. India’s sweet perfume reaches me, making my heart beat faster. My body goes rigid as I realise that between our naked bodies there is only a thin layer of clothing. My heart skips a beat as I inhale.

  She is flat out spread over me and my cock is pressed against the entrance to her core. I’m breathing heavily, and then out of nowhere she wakes up staring at me, surprised.

  “Oliver, what are you doing in my bed?”

  I laugh. “You’re actually in my bed. We fell asleep and we didn’t wake up to go out clubbing,” I tell her while still holding her close between my legs. She is hot and I want to make love to her deep and slow until she begs me to stop. She doesn’t move for a long time tensing her body and taking rigid breaths. My head swims with images and memories of her lips pressed against mine.

  Before I do something that I’m going to regret later, I flip her next to me and jump out of bed, disappearing into the bathroom. I run my hands through my hair, breathing hard. Falling asleep together was a bad idea and now I need a cold shower. If it wasn’t for the fact that I made a commitment to her, I’d have taken advantage of the situation in bed already. She is so sexy and turns me on, but I have to stick to my original plan. Friendship, that’s all I’m aiming for.

  I have a cold shower in the middle of the night. India has her lamp on when I come back to the room. Surprise, surprise; I thought that she would be sleeping.

  “Are you all right?” I ask her, sitting on the bed.

  “So you’re serious about us being friends? You really are okay with me dating Russell?”