by Adele Abbott
“You might think that, but it isn’t the case. Our own records show that visitor numbers increase by as much as three hundred per cent once word gets out that a house is haunted.”
“Really? That is very impressive. How exactly does it work?”
“We specialise in long term hauntings, and specifically to the customer who wants to have the house haunted all year around.”
“That’s certainly the kind of thing I’m looking for.”
“Great. How many rooms do you want to be haunted? Some customers require haunting of just a single room, others require several rooms to be covered.”
“Hmm? I hadn’t really thought about that. Probably two or three of the larger rooms.”
“The other thing we need to know is the kind of ghosts you’d require. If you have no particular preference, the cost will be lower. The more specific you wish to be, the higher the cost.”
“Could you give me a ballpark figure? Let’s say three large rooms with a mix of ghosts—haunted all year around?”
“Off the top of my head, you’d be looking at six ghosts—two per room. Total cost would be ten-thousand pounds a month.”
“That’s an awful lot of money.”
“Not really. Not when you consider that the majority of that goes to the ghosts themselves. It’s only because you’re a sup that we can tell you that. If you were one of our human customers, we’d have to say that the costs were to cover the special effects which create the ghost illusion.”
“Let me make sure I understand this correctly. You’re saying that over half of the fee paid to you is passed on to the ghosts themselves?”
“That’s correct.”
“In that case, how come so many ghosts in GT are up in arms over non-payment of wages?” I’d abandoned the posh voice. “Isn’t it true that you’re actually pocketing most of the money for yourselves?”
They both looked as though they had had the wind knocked out of them. Alex was the first to recover.
“Who are you, really?”
“My name is actually Jill Gooder.”
“I’ve heard of you. You’re the one who can travel to GT.”
“That’s right. I’ve been retained by a large number of your disgruntled employees to find out why they aren’t being paid.”
“But we are paying them. Every month on the dot, we send the money through to our partner in GT.”
“Kelvin Toastmaster? I’ve met him. He insists the money never reaches him.”
The two vampires were stunned into silence for several moments.
“He’s lying,” Maurice said, at last. “And we can prove it. If you come to our offices, we can show you our bank accounts; they detail every payment made.”
“Are you saying Toastmaster is pocketing the money?”
“He must be. We had no idea there was a problem with the payments. We knew we were losing far more staff than we should be doing, but Kelvin told us it was because they didn’t like the work. Just wait until I get my hands on him.”
“Hurting him won’t get the ghosts the money they’re owed. Leave it with me. It’s time I had another chat with our Mr Toastmaster.”
“Don’t you want to see our bank accounts?”
“No need. The fact you offered is good enough for me. For now, at least.”
I made a call to Winky.
And yes, I do know how weird that sounds.
“It’s Jill?”
“Whatsup?”
“I need you to get that hacker friend of yours to check something for me. What’s his name? Tabby?”
“Tibby the Hack.”
“That’s the guy. Listen carefully because I need a quick answer on this one.”
Chapter 23
Have I ever mentioned that I hate dentists? They’re like clowns—evil—all of them. I’d had a check-up at my regular dentist only a couple of weeks earlier, and had been given a clean bill of health, so I knew I didn’t need any work doing. Mrs V had managed to get me an appointment with Dennis Tist, under the pretence of my being new to the area. So far, this man was the only common factor that linked all three of the women locked up in Regent’s Hospital. If I drew a blank here, I’d be well and truly back to square one.
The receptionist’s name was Grace; she had a smile worthy of the job.
“I’ll need you to complete this new patient form, please, Ms Gooder.” She handed me a tablet, and asked me to take a seat while I entered my details.
“Have you worked here long, Grace?”
“Just under a year. Ever since the practice opened.”
“I guess you must be tired of hearing the same joke about your boss’s name?”
“Sorry?”
“Mr Tist. Mr Dennis Tist.”
“That’s his name.”
“Yes, I know. Den Tist the dentist?”
She thought about it for a moment, and then the penny seemed to drop. “Oh yes. Of course. Den Tist, the dentist. That’s very good. Are you a stand-up comedian or something?”
“Err—no—I’m a—err—chiropodist.”
She pulled a face. “Really? I could never do that job. I mean, looking at people’s gammy feet all day. Yuk! You must really like feet?”
“Not particularly, but I guess you could say it allows me to foot the bills.”
“You’re so funny. You really should do stand-up.”
At last, an appreciative audience. I was warming to Grace.
I’d been expecting Mr Tist to be some kind of monster, but he turned out to be a quite ordinary, clean-cut man in his early forties. I can normally sense whether someone is a human or a sup, but I couldn’t tell with this guy.
“Open wide, please.”
I did as he requested, and stared up at the TV screen that was fixed to the ceiling, immediately above the dentist chair. The sound was muted, but it was tuned into a channel showing old movies. It took me a few moments to place the movie being screened, but then it came to me: Marathon Man.
“Oh dear.” Mr Tist tutted. “Oh dear, oh dear. Not good. Not good at all.”
Now, I’m no expert on matters dental, but I was guessing that wasn’t a ringing endorsement. “Is there a problem?” I managed to ask when he removed the mirror from my mouth.
“I’m afraid so, Ms Gooder. One of your canines is in really bad shape. I’m surprised you haven’t had any pain.”
“I haven’t. Not even a twinge.”
“That’s often the case. One minute everything’s fine, the next, wham! Total agony. Don’t worry, though, I’ve had a cancellation, so I can see to it for you now. I’ll just knock you out for a few minutes, and when you wake up, everything will be okay.”
“Knock me out? Couldn’t you just do it with a local anaesthetic?”
“Not for this one. There’s going to be a lot of pain. It would be better for you to sleep through it.”
“I understood I had to have someone with me if you knock me out? To drive me home?”
“Not with the new anaesthetic we use nowadays. You’ll be wide awake and ready to drive within a few minutes.” He reached for a needle. “Just a sharp scratch, and then—”
“Sorry.” I scrambled out of the chair. “I have an urgent appointment. I can’t be late.”
“But it will only take a few minutes.”
“Sorry. I’ll have to come back another time.”
“If you don’t get it seen to straightaway, you could end up in a lot of pain.”
“I’ll arrange another appointment with your receptionist. Thanks. Bye.”
I hurried out of the surgery, and straight past the reception desk. Once outside, I gave a huge sigh of relief; I felt sure that I’d just escaped something much worse than toothache. There was something very much not right about Mr Dennis Tist. Now more than ever, I believed he could be linked to Jasmine Bold’s sudden descent into madness.
***
After that ordeal, I needed something to calm my nerves. What better than a nice cup of tea and a cake?
Particularly if it’s free.
Who are you calling a cheapskate?
“Are you okay, Jill?” Aunt Lucy was in the kitchen, tidying the cupboards. “You look a little pale.”
“I’ve just had something of an ordeal at the dentist.”
“Toothache?”
“No, my teeth are fine. It was to do with a case I’m working on.”
“You’re okay to eat cake, then?”
“Definitely. You’re having a clear out, I assume?”
“Not really. It’s my bi-annual cupboard swap.”
“What’s that?”
“I get fed up with keeping the same things in the same cupboards, don’t you?”
“Not really.”
“It drives me crazy, so twice a year, I swap everything around.”
“Doesn’t that make it difficult to find things?”
“It can, but that’s all part of the excitement. Lester always complains when I do it, but it’s like I told him: best to keep the brain cells active. Now, what kind of cake would you like?”
“What do you have?”
“I’m not sure.” She looked up at the cupboards. “Now, where did I put them?”
It took a while, but she eventually found the cakes. I was undecided between the strawberry and the coffee cupcake, so in the end, Aunt Lucy persuaded me I should have both.
What? It was hardly my fault—she’d twisted my arm.
“I hadn’t planned on doing the cupboards until next week,” Aunt Lucy said. “But with all the rain we’ve had, it hasn’t been fit to do anything in the garden. I heard Grandma had to get you back from CASS recently to sort out the downpour.”
“That’s right. She has a theory that the torrential rain was actually a ploy to get me back, but I’m not sure I buy it.”
“What were you doing there, anyway?”
“Oh, nothing much. Just trying to rearrange the speech I’m going to give to them.”
“Did you sort out another date?”
“Not yet. The problem is that it takes so long to go back and forth between here and CASS. Every time I want to go over there, I have to ask the headmistress to arrange tickets for the airship.”
“Why don’t you try magicking yourself there?”
“I didn’t think that was possible.”
“It isn’t for anyone else, but no one apart from you can magic themselves to GT. Why don’t you give it a try? It’s not like you have anything to lose.”
“Actually, that’s not a bad idea. I might just do that.”
There was a knock at the door.
“Who can that be?” Aunt Lucy stood up. “I’m not expecting anyone.”
Moments later, I heard a man’s voice; it seemed somehow familiar.
“Jill, there’s a gentleman here to see you. His name is O’Nuts.”
“Duncan? How did you know you’d find me here?”
“I asked around to see if you had relatives here in Candlefield. You have such a high profile, it wasn’t difficult to trace your aunt. I had intended leaving a message with her, but seeing as you’re here, I can thank you in person for everything you’ve done.”
“No thanks necessary. I take it the king of the pixies has been in touch?”
“Arthur? Yes. He’s such a gentleman. Not only did he not press charges, he’s promised to ensure I have a supply of candles for life—at no cost. I couldn’t be happier.”
“That’s great news. I guess there’ll be no need to continue with the collections?”
“I’ll probably still do them from time to time because there are other costs to cover, but at least the pressure is now off.”
“Would you like a drink, Mr O’Nuts?” Aunt Lucy asked.
“No, thanks. I can’t stop. Before I go, though, there is one other thing I wanted to mention. I heard that you’d been instrumental in getting that conman locked up; the one with the performing dog. I always thought he was up to no good.”
“That’s right. The puppies he was selling were actually dog-shifters. They would rob the houses of their new owners, and then make their way back to Candle Sands. My two cousins, Aunt Lucy’s daughters, fell for the scam. They’re very upset, as you can imagine.”
“That’s terrible, but maybe I have a way to cheer them up. My dog, Bonny, recently gave birth to a beautiful litter of puppies. We’ll be looking for good homes for them in a few weeks. Do you think your cousins would be interested?”
“I’m sure they would. How much would you want for them?”
“Nothing. They’d be doing me a favour, and besides, I owe you one. Why don’t you check with them, and if they are interested, ask them to get in touch with me.”
“I will. Thanks, Duncan.”
***
I had let Jack know that I would be late home because I wanted to pay another visit to the dentist. I arrived there ten minutes before the official closing time, made myself invisible, and then took a seat in the waiting room. I was quite surprised to find that Grace had already left. At six o’clock on the dot, Tist came out of the surgery, turned off the lights, and left—locking the door behind him. I gave it a few minutes, just in case he’d forgotten anything, then I reversed the ‘invisible’ spell.
I had no idea what I was looking for, but my instincts told me that there was something strange going on inside that surgery. I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I hadn’t made my escape when I did, I too might be in a padded room at Regent’s Hospital.
For the next hour, I searched every nook and cranny in that surgery, but I drew a blank. Perhaps there was something in the waiting room? As I made my way out of the surgery, I caught my foot on the lever at the base of the dentist chair. As I did, I heard the sound of a motor behind me. When I turned around, I saw the wall slowly sliding open.
It was dark inside the ‘secret’ cupboard, except for three glowing spots of colour: red, green and blue. I felt inside, and managed to locate a light switch. The cupboard was long and narrow. Along the back wall there was a single shelf on which were three small glass jars. Each of them contained a smoky substance: one red, one green and the other blue. I reached for one with the intention of removing the stopper, but then something made me pull my hand away. I had no idea what I was dealing with, but thought maybe Daze would know, so I gave her a call. She said she’d come straight over.
“Do you have any idea what these are?” I asked.
She nodded. “I’ve never actually seen them before, but we were taught about this during rogue retriever training.”
“What is it?”
“If I’m right, and I think I am, you’re dealing with a soul snatcher.”
“Are you telling me that these jars contain—?”
“Souls? Yes, at least I think so.”
“I met the guy who is doing this, but I couldn’t tell if he was a human or a sup.”
“I’m not surprised. Soul snatchers are neither. They’re just pure evil. We were told that they should be destroyed on sight because they’re much too dangerous to risk locking up in prison.”
“I think I know who these souls belong to. The three women in question have been locked up because they’re acting crazy.”
“I’m not surprised. It’s a terrible fate to befall anyone.”
“Can it be reversed? Can the women be saved?”
“I’m not sure, but right now, the important thing is that we stop this creature before it does the same thing to someone else.”
“Okay. What’s the plan?”
Chapter 24
The next morning, we were seated at the breakfast bar; Jack was engrossed in his magazine: TPB Monthly.
“Don’t you get fed up of reading about ten-pin bowling?”
“Never. There’s a fascinating article in this month’s edition on how to maximise your spares.”
“Sounds unmissable.”
“It is. The seven-ten split is the hardest to deal with.”
Some days, it was like sharing the house with an alien
.
“I’ve been thinking.” I pulled the magazine away from his face. “We ought to go and visit your parents.”
“It isn’t long since Mum was down here.”
“I know, but it’s nice to stay in touch.”
“You seem awfully keen to see my mum and dad.”
“First you complained that we never saw your parents, and now you complain because I suggest paying them a visit. I can’t win.”
“Sorry. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I’ll give Mum a call later, and see what I can arrange.”
“Good. The sooner, the better.”
If Grandma was correct about the witchfinders being mobilised by their new boss, I would need to identify them as soon as possible. Hopefully, Yvonne would be able to help with that.
I made a call to the dentist, and just as I’d hoped, I got the out-of-hours answering machine, on which I left a message:
“Mr Tist, this is Jill Gooder. You were right; I should have had the work done. I’ve been in agony all night. I’m going to pop in first thing this morning. Hopefully, you’ll be able to sort out this tooth for me. Thanks. See you soon.”
“You didn’t mention you had toothache.” Jack looked concerned.
“I don’t. It’s all part of the case I was working on last night.”
“A dentist? What’s he done?”
“I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say he’s a nasty piece of work. The man has no—err—”
“Soul?”
“No. He seems to be doing alright for souls. I was going to say he has no scruples.”
“That’s my girl. Ridding Washbridge of all the bad guys.”
“Talking of bad guys, I’ve discovered that Leo Riley is on the take.”
“What? Are you sure?”
“Pretty much. I got it straight from the cat’s mouth.”
“Shouldn’t that be horse’s mouth? Do you need me to get involved?”
“No. I’d prefer to deal with this one myself.”
***
Grace was once again behind reception at the dental surgery. “Hello again, Ms Gooder.” She beamed.
