by Adele Abbott
I nodded while holding the side of my face.
“That looks painful, but you’re in luck. We got your message, and Mr Tist will be able to see you as his first appointment. He’ll be with you in about five minutes.”
I mumbled a thank you, and then took a seat. If I ever gave up the P.I. gig, I really should consider a career on the stage.
“Morning, Ms Gooder.” Mr Tist popped his head around the door. “I’m sorry to say it, but I did warn you. Would you like to come through?”
I followed him inside, and took a seat in the chair.
“Open wide. Hmm, that looks nasty, but not to worry, we’ll soon have you feeling as good as new. I just need to send you to sleep for a few minutes.” He turned away to get the needle, and as he did, I jumped out of the chair.
“Ms Gooder! I know you’re scared, but you really must get back in the—”
I pressed the lever with my foot, and the wall behind him slid open.
“Who are you?” His whole demeanour had changed.
“Who I am doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve snatched your last soul.”
He dropped the needle, and bolted for the door. When he opened it, he came face to face with Daze, who pushed him back inside.
“Grace!” he yelled. “Call the police!”
“I just gave your receptionist the week off.” Daze came in, and closed the door behind her. “And now, it’s time for you to say goodbye to this world.”
“No, please! Wait!”
Daze took out what looked like a metal tube, which she pointed at the soul snatcher. The blast of energy that shot from it was even more powerful than the ‘lightning bolt’ spell.
The dentist was no more.
“What about these?” I pointed to the jars. “Can we restore the lost souls to their rightful owners?”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin, but I know a man who might. We can’t leave them here, though. Can you take them with you, and keep them somewhere safe?”
“How am I going to carry all three?”
“You’ll work something out.”
***
“What are those?” Jules pointed to the three jars.
I’d had to call into a coffee shop, and get one of those cardboard tray holders to carry them.
“These?”
“Yeah. They’re very pretty. Can I have a look?”
Before I could stop her, she’d grabbed the one containing the blue smoke.
“Be careful. Don’t drop it.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this before. Are they for your house? Where are you going to put them?”
“I haven’t decided yet. Could you put it back, please?” I had no idea what would happen if the jar broke, and I was in no hurry to find out.
“Do you have any more news on Jasmine, Jill?”
“Nothing I can share with you just yet, but I’m hopeful there may be some good news soon.”
After I’d put the jars onto my desk, Winky came sniffing around them. “Is that something to eat?”
“No. Don’t go near them.”
“What are they?”
“If you must know, they’re the souls of three young women.”
“Alright, I only asked. There’s no need for the sarcasm.” Winky took umbrage, and went to sulk under the sofa.
I put the jars in the bottom drawer of my desk, for safekeeping.
It was the first opportunity I’d had to consider what Aunt Lucy had said about CASS. Could I really magic myself there? The possibility had never occurred to me until she suggested it. There was only one way to find out, and that was to give it a try. It wouldn’t be easy because the school was a long way away; no more than a tiny oasis in the middle of a vast, unfriendly rainforest.
I spent some time first formulating, and then tweaking and re-tweaking the spell. Once I was happy with it, I summoned up all of my focus, crossed my fingers, and went for it.
I landed with a thud.
Wherever I was, it certainly wasn’t CASS. I was surrounded by giant trees, which were so tall that I couldn’t see their tops. The sound of a multitude of insects and animals assaulted my eardrums. The heat was unbearable—it was as if I’d stepped into a sauna.
My best guess was that I’d missed the school, and landed in the forest that surrounded it. If I could just get a glimpse of CASS, I should be able to complete my journey, but that would be easier said than done because I could see no further than the trees in front of me. Although there were no paths, the undergrowth to my left did seem less dense, so I started out in that direction. Some of the smaller insects had already found me, and decided that I would make a tasty snack. Trying to swat them all away was an exercise in futility. As annoying as they were, I was far more worried about the larger creatures that inhabited the forest. Their many calls sent shivers down my spine.
After twenty exhausting minutes, I came to a clearing. Although it was good to escape the claustrophobic undergrowth, I felt much more vulnerable in the open. Across the clearing was a hillside. If I could make it to the top, I might be able to get a glimpse of the school. Under normal circumstances, I would have used a spell to speed myself along, but the effort of magicking myself that far had left me exhausted. I didn’t want to waste what few reserves of energy I had left because I would need those to get me to CASS or back home.
When I was three-quarters of the way across the clearing, the ground began to vibrate under my feet. I spun around just in time to see a huge creature emerge from the trees. It was an animal I’d come face to face with before: a destroyer dragon. It sniffed the air, and looked around.
Maybe, if I stayed perfectly still, it wouldn’t spot me.
Wrong!
It began to charge straight at me. I turned and ran towards the hill, but my legs were so heavy it was like trying to wade through treacle. Even if I made it, I’d never have the strength to climb the hill. Just when I thought I was doomed, I spotted a cave, but could I make it? The footsteps were much louder now—much closer.
When I was a few feet away, I threw myself inside. The dragon’s head was too large to get through the entrance, but that didn’t stop it from breathing fire into the cave. Fortunately, the cave was deep enough that I was able to get beyond the reach of the flames. After a few minutes, the dragon gave up trying to toast me, but it was still standing right outside the cave.
I was trapped.
Even though I’d been terrified, exhaustion must have overwhelmed me because I’d fallen into a deep sleep. When I woke up, the entrance to the cave was much brighter; the dragon was no longer standing outside. I crept slowly towards the cave mouth, ready to turn and run should the dragon reappear. I took one cautious step outside, and then I saw it, or to be more precise, I saw them. The dragon who had almost had me for lunch was now facing off with another destroyer dragon. They were taking it in turns to lunge at one another; neither of them showing any signs of backing down. I must have been asleep for some time because a little of my strength had returned. This was my chance—possibly my only chance.
I began to scale the hillside, watching the two dragons every step of the way. When I’d climbed only a few feet, the first dragon lunged at the other. They were now locked in a deadly battle, clawing and biting one another. Although I hadn’t fully recovered, and my body just wanted to lie down and rest, I somehow managed to pick up the pace. I’m not sure how long it took for me to reach the top, but it felt like a lifetime. When I eventually came to a halt, I realised that the sound of fighting had stopped. The first dragon was alone again; he’d seen off his rival, and he was headed my way.
I could now see over the top of the trees, and much to my relief, there in the distance were the walls of CASS. The ground beneath me began to vibrate again, as the dragon reached the bottom of the hill. I had hoped the gradient might put him off, but I was to be disappointed because he began to charge up the slope.
Did I have enough magical reserves to pull this off? Would I get
the co-ordinates right this time? There was no time to worry about any of that because in another few seconds I would become a dragon’s lunch. I closed my eyes, focussed and cast the spell.
***
Phew! That had been much too close for comfort.
It took me a few seconds to work out where I’d landed, but then I realised I was in the small room that the caretaker, Reggie, had let me into on my previous visit to CASS. Just as before, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something very familiar about that room. Distant memories danced around my head, but refused to come fully into focus. Voices—two of them—a man and a woman. Who were they? Was the woman me? No, but I felt that I knew her or had some kind of connection to her. I tried desperately to hear what they were saying, but their words were always just out of my grasp. No matter how hard I tried, the memories refused to crystallise, but I couldn’t give up on them because I was convinced that there lay the answers I’d been seeking.
That’s when I remembered someone I’d met some time ago—in Cuppy C. The lodger who had rented the room above the shop. The snake oil salesman. What was his name? It was something unusual—just a single word. Talbot, that was it. He’d tried to convince me that snake oil was actually a thing, and not the scam I’d always believed it to be. He’d mentioned one type of snake oil in particular; one that was guaranteed to improve your memory. He’d even told me the name of the snake that produced that oil, but I couldn’t remember what it was.
If I was ever going to remember what the significance of that room was, who the voices belonged to, and what they were saying, I’d need to track down Talbot, the snake oil salesman.
Chapter 25
I went straight over to Cuppy C; the twins looked much happier than the last time I’d seen them.
“Have you heard, Jill?” Amber gushed. “We’re getting puppies!”
“Yes. I was at Aunt Lucy’s when Duncan O’Nuts came over.”
“We have to wait a few weeks.” Pearl had now joined Amber behind the counter. “But it will be worth it. They’re adorable.”
“That’s not our only good news,” Amber said. “They’ve recovered our jewellery. Those slimeballs hadn’t had the chance to fence it.”
“That’s brilliant. I’m really pleased for you both. Do I get a free muffin to celebrate?”
“No, but you can have twenty percent off,” Pearl said.
“But that’s my usual discount.”
“Is it? Oh yes, so it is. Do you still want one?”
“Go on, then. Hey, girls, do you remember the snake oil salesman who stayed here?”
“Talbot? He was okay despite what you might think.” Amber passed me the muffin. “Why?”
“I need to get hold of him.”
“What for?”
“Nothing in particular.”
“Come on,” Pearl pressed. “Why do you want to see him?”
“If you must know, I need some snake oil.”
The twins laughed, hysterically.
“After everything you said?” Pearl shook her head. “I thought snake oil was just nonsense.”
“It probably is, but I still need to buy some.”
“What do you need it for?” Amber asked.
“According to Talbot, there’s one particular type of snake oil that improves the memory.”
“Oh dear.” Pearl grinned. “Is old age catching up with you already?”
“Very funny. I can’t tell you the reason I need it—not yet, anyway, but it is extremely important. Do you have his details?”
“I don’t think he left a forwarding address,” Pearl said. “It’s possible he left one of his business cards somewhere. I’m not sure.”
“Would you mind looking for it when you get a minute? It’s really important.”
“Okay. If we find it, we’ll give you a call.”
“Thanks, girls.”
“Meanwhile, Jill, would you like to enter our competition?” Amber pointed to a large jar at the far end of the counter.
“What is it?” I moved closer to get a better look. “How many sprinkles are in the jar? I’m good at this type of competition. What’s the prize? It’s not a giant triangle, is it?”
“Huh? No. The winner gets free muffins for a month.”
“That sounds good.”
“A maximum of one per day, though.”
“Still, that’s not to be sneezed at.” I studied the jar more closely. “There must be millions in here. It’s a good job you took a note of how many were in the packets before you emptied them into the jar.”
The twins looked at one another, and their faces fell.
“You did take a note of the number, didn’t you?”
They shook their heads.
“Oh dear.”
Snigger.
I was still chuckling to myself when my phone rang. It was Daze.
“Jill. I’ve found someone who might be able to restore the stolen souls. Do you have them somewhere safe?”
“Yeah. They’re in my office.”
“Good. Can you bring them with you, and meet me and Professor Peesnap later outside Regent’s Hospital?”
“Professor Pee—?”
“Snap, yes. He’s a wizard who specialises in souls. If anyone can restore them, he can. Shall we say two o’clock?”
“Okay. I’ll be there.”
***
“Can I help you?” The stern-faced woman behind the reception desk snapped.
“My name is Leo Riley,” I said. “I’d like to see Mr Macabre.”
In case you were wondering, no, I hadn’t lost my mind. I’d used the ‘doppelganger’ spell to give myself the appearance of my arch-enemy.
“Is Mr Macabre expecting you?”
“No, but please tell him I’m here.”
She tutted, gave me the evil eye, but then made the call.
“Mr Macabre will see you.” She sounded disappointed; no doubt she’d been looking forward to having security throw me out. “Down there; second door on the right.”
I knocked on the door, and entered.
“Leo!” Macabre got out of his chair and came around the desk to greet me. He had a firm if somewhat greasy handshake. “I trust you have good news for me?”
“I assume you’re talking about finding evidence that Gooder has an animal in her office?”
“What else am I paying you for?”
“I’ve had no luck so far, I’m afraid. I’m beginning to think that she doesn’t have any animals in there after all.”
“So what if she doesn’t? You can make it look as though she does, can’t you?”
“Are you asking me to fabricate evidence?”
“I’m not asking you to; I’m paying you to. And you won’t get the rest of the money until I have the evidence I need to get her evicted. I don’t care how you do it.”
“Okay. I’ll give it another try.”
“I don’t want you to try, Leo. I want you to succeed. I expect results for my money. Don’t come back until you’ve done it.”
“Okay. Bye.”
That couldn’t have gone any better.
***
Next stop, GT where the woman behind the reception desk at Kelvin Toastmaster’s offices was once again going for the bubble gum/fruit combo. This time, though, instead of an apple, she was combining the gum with a pear. It seemed she hadn’t quite mastered this new combination because the pear was covered in gum, which she was in the process of peeling off.
I didn’t bother asking if I could see her boss because I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to sneak out the back way.
“Hey! You can’t go in there!” she yelled, as I breezed past her desk.
“Just watch me.”
I burst into Toastmaster’s office, to find him watching something on his laptop. Judging by the speed at which he shut it down, I was guessing it wasn’t family viewing.
“You can’t just come strolling in here.”
“I just did. Sorry if I
interrupted your—err—viewing.”
“It was just a wildlife documentary.”
“Of course it was.”
“What do you want?”
“Lots of things. First of all, I want you to stop being a cheating toerag.”
“You can’t speak to me like that.”
“Next, I want you to give all the money that you’ve stolen to the rightful recipients.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t waste your breath lying to me. You’ve already done too much of that. I’ve spoken to your partners, and I’ve seen their bank records.”
“You’re taking their word over mine?”
“Correct, and do you know why? I’ll tell you. In my game, you build up a lot of contacts. One of my contacts is a master hacker who goes by the name of Tibby. You may have heard of him. Anyway, he was able to hack into your bank account—all of your bank accounts, in fact.” I threw a pile of papers onto his desk.
“What are those?”
“Printouts of your recent transactions. Care to take a look?”
He snatched them up, and quickly flicked through them. As he did, the colour slowly drained from his face.
“I never intended for this to happen.”
“Of course you didn’t. I suppose the money just accidentally jumped into your private accounts. Whoops! There goes another thousand.”
“I was short of cash, so I borrowed a little. I intended to give it back, but then—”
“But then you realised you could do it again and again, and you thought you could get away with it. Why worry if a few ghosts don’t get paid? There’s plenty more where they came from.”
“Are you going to hand me over to the police?”
“I should, but that won’t get my clients’ money back. I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. First, you’re going to pay every one of my clients the money you owe them, and you’re going to do it by close of business today.”
“I don’t have that kind of money.”
“According to those print-outs, you do. And secondly, you’re going to resign your position with Hauntings Unlimited with immediate effect.”
