Spirit Week Shenanigans

by Marcus Emerson

  ‘Like the chocolate bar?’ I asked.

  ‘Like the hunter!’ Bounty said loudly. ‘The way cool bounty hunter who travels the galaxy!’

  ‘But also dies when he falls into the sarlacc pit!’ I scoffed.

  Suddenly, Bounty was right by my side. ‘He didn’t die in that pit! He managed to escape, which means he’s the toughest bounty hunter there is!’

  Faith stared at Bounty and me. ‘Okay guys, cut the Star Wars talk.’

  ‘Whatever!’ I said to Faith. ‘Star Wars is awesome and you know it!’

  Faith kept a straight face for about a second. Then she laughed. ‘Yeah, it’s epic.’

  ‘Gavin shook his head. ‘I can honestly say I don’t have a clue about what you guys are talking about.’

  Dani pointed at the two boys who had nudged their way into our circle. ‘These guys are also on the student council with Zoe and me. Colin’s the treasurer, and Bounty’s the public relations director.’

  ‘No vice president?’ Faith asked.

  ‘Not this time around,’ Dani explained. ‘Principal Davis was thinking about letting Zoe hand-pick a vice president since Wyatt didn’t fare too well.’

  Let me tell you a little bit about the kid who seems to have it out for me. Wyatt is a short kid with a tall ego. He used to be the vice president, but after Sebastian’s chewing-gum scandal, that changed, and Principal Davis held elections for a new president.

  Wyatt’s also the leader of the red ninja clan, which he created after I was given leadership of his old one. The red ninjas have been training in secret in the abandoned greenhouse at the centre of the school. Wyatt’s been recruiting like crazy over the past few months, and I’m not sure why. It’s almost like he’s creating an army. But for what?

  I have a feeling that when I’m ninety, Wyatt will still lurk in the background, spitting wads of paper at me through a straw.

  ‘Hey, Dani, we should prob’ly bounce, right?’ Colin asked. He had an odd way about him, almost like he was hiding something

  Dani turned to Brayden. ‘I got a lot of work to do,’ she said. ‘I’ll catch you after school, okay?’

  Brayden’s eyes softened as his body melted a little. ‘Sure,’ he sighed.

  Barf.

  Just as Dani, Colin and Bounty had left, Zoe crashed into me from behind. I had to stumble forward to keep from falling over.

  ‘What gives?’ I asked.

  She looked panicked as she caught her breath. ‘It’s … it’s …’

  ‘The zombie invasion has started, hasn’t it?’ Faith asked.

  My cousin lifted a sheet of paper, jabbing at it with her finger. ‘Wyatt,’ she said. ‘It’s Wyatt. He signed up for the competition.’

  ‘So?’ I asked. ‘That doesn’t surprise me.’

  Zoe stopped and focused her eyes on my hand with the melted ice cream. ‘You know you were supposed to eat that, right?’

  ‘Gah!’ I yelled, frustrated. And then I marched to the nearest rubbish bin and dumped the cone. ‘Is everyone happy now?’ I asked as I wiped my hands clean with a serviette I took from the bin. Don’t judge me.

  Zoe ignored me. ‘So you know how the winning team gets to create a club that’ll be recognised as an official school club?’

  I nodded slowly, connecting the dots. ‘No way,’ I said. ‘There’s no way Wyatt would be that bold.’

  Zoe pushed her lips to one side of her face and nodded back at me. ‘As part of the registration, students had to fill out a section describing what kind of club they’d start if they won.’

  ‘And Wyatt put down ‘ninja clan’ didn’t he?’ I asked, already knowing the answer.

  Again, Zoe nodded.

  ‘Why would he do that?’ Brayden asked. ‘He’s already got a ninja clan.’

  ‘I know,’ Zoe said, finally having caught her breath. ‘But don’t you see what he’s doing?’

  ‘Um, no?’ Brayden said.

  ‘Allow me to explain,’ came a voice from outside our circle. Before I turned to look, I already knew it was Wyatt. ‘I’m sure by now Zoe’s opened her big mouth and blabbed about my registration form.’

  ‘Where’s your girlfriend?’ Faith asked.

  Faith was talking about Olive Jones. Olive and Wyatt had been going out for the past few months and were usually attached at the hip.

  Wyatt flinched. ‘Things are complicated between us right now.’

  ‘Yeah?’ Faith said. ‘Does that mean she dumped you?’

  Wyatt’s jaw muscles twitched. ‘No,’ he replied. ‘It means it’s nunya.’

  Faith cracked a sly smile.

  ‘But why start a public ninja club?’ Brayden asked.

  Before Wyatt spoke, I already knew what his answer was going to be.

  ‘Because then,’ Wyatt said, ‘my ninja clan won’t have to train in secret anymore. We’ll be able to do whatever we want. I’ll operate the red ninjas right under the principal’s nose, and there’s not a thing he can do to stop me! As a matter of fact, he’s going to give us a thousand dollars to spend on gear! Can you imagine what I could do if my ninja clan had a thousand dollars to spend on supplies?’

  I bit the inside of my cheek. I hated everything about this.

  Wyatt chuckled, amused by his own thoughts. ‘My ninja clan is going to be so sweet,’ he said, and then he looked at me. ‘I guess we know who the better leader is between the two of us.’

  I wanted to say something witty, but couldn’t think of something fast enough. ‘Blah,’ I said under my breath. Good one, right?

  Zoe scanned the paper she was holding. ‘It says that Jake is also competing with a team of his own.’

  ‘So?’ Wyatt asked.

  ‘Soooo …’ Zoe sang. ‘Doesn’t it bother you that he’s running against you? Or wait,’ Zoe stopped, snapping her finger. ‘If he’s just running because you want him to lose on purpose, then that’s cheating. I’ll have both of your teams booted from the games faster that you can say ‘kitten on a kite’!’

  ‘Kitten on a—’ Wyatt whispered, confused. ‘I’ve never in my whole life heard that before.’

  ‘It’s a real saying!’ Zoe said, her cheeks flushing with red. Sometimes Zoe makes up weird phrases when her blood gets pumping.

  Wyatt shrugged. ‘Whatever. I guess it’s just a good thing that Jake isn’t part of my … club anymore.’

  Jake wasn’t a red ninja anymore? During election week, Jake pulled my ninja mask off my face, exposing my identity to Melvin – something I knew Wyatt would be against. Wyatt didn’t follow much of a code of honour, except when it came to our identities.

  Wyatt looked right at me. ‘Jake crossed the line,’ he said, bluntly.

  Wyatt nodded once, and then walked away.

  Faith looked confused. ‘I’m not sure whether Wyatt is a good villain or a bad one. Would a good villain monologue his entire plan to their enemy?’

  ‘His ego is bigger than his head,’ Zoe said. ‘He’s so full of himself.’

  ‘That’s what it is though, right?’ I said. ‘He’s so sure he’s going to win that it doesn’t matter if we know his plan or not. He’s basically bragging about his victory before it even happens.’

  Zoe held up Wyatt’s registration papers again, but slid a blank one out from behind them. ‘Which is why you’re going to participate in these games,’ she said, firmly.

  Faith lifted her hands to her mouth, hiding a smile as her eyes lit up.

  I sighed, taking the blank forms from Zoe.

  Honestly the last thing I wanted was to be the centre of anyone’s attention, especially competing in front of the entire school.

  But because of Wyatt entering the competition, I knew I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing. It’s pretty safe to say that Wyatt winning the games and getting an official club of his own for his ninja crew was not only bad news for me, but also bad news for the whole school.

  A small part of me even thought Wyatt’s victory would’ve somehow been bad news for all of human
ity too, but that’s almost too epic, right?

  Afternoon classes were shortened so school would still finish on time, which meant that my science class wasn’t going to start until one.

  When I saw that I had ten minutes to spare, I headed straight for the wrestling room. It was the first day of training with my new ninjas, and I was already behind schedule.

  A few months ago, I stumbled upon a wrestling room that wasn’t being used. Coach Cooper said that we used to have a school wrestling team about ten years back. Since the room wasn’t being used anymore, Coach let me use it for a martial arts club – that’s right, my ninja clan.

  Except I had lost every member in my ninja clan except for Brayden, so membership was at an all-time low. But I didn’t want to let that ruin my year, so I was trying to be positive and see this as a new recruiting challenge.

  Since the beginning of school, all I wanted was to be a good leader. This was a second chance at doing just that.

  And it would’ve been great, except that I was twenty minutes late to the first meeting.

  Melvin was standing with his arms crossed when I entered the wrestling room. He was a reporter for the school newspaper, and the same kid who blew the lid off the rigged election last week. I thought he’d make a good ninja since he had all sorts of connections with other students from being a reporter.

  ‘This is part of the lesson, right?’ Melvin asked, clearly annoyed. ‘Like, you’re showing us how you’ve actually been here the entire time, but hidden in the shadows, correct?’

  I put my hand on my chest, trying to catch my breath. ‘Sorry, guys,’ I said. ‘Some stuff came up during the assembly and I lost track of time.’

  Leaning against the wall was a girl with her face hidden from view as she looked down at her phone, tapping furiously at the screen with her thumbs. Next to her was a boy, sitting with his legs crossed, slouched over and drawing pictures in the dust on the wrestling mat. They were two of Melvin’s friends that he’d asked to come because he thought they’d fit well in the ninja clan.

  ‘You’re twenty minutes late,’ the girl said coldly, without looking up. ‘I missed out on the ice cream because of you.’

  ‘Yeah, sorry,’ I said. ‘It won’t happen again.’

  The girl looked up from her phone. She was wearing a mask, but just over her eyes. It was the kind of mask that superhero sidekicks wore. ‘Better not.’

  ‘What’s on your face?’ I asked.

  ‘It’s my ninja mask,’ the girl answered, raising her eyebrows at me like it should’ve been obvious.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘That’s the opposite of a ninja mask. A ninja mask only has holes for your eyes. Your mask is only covering your eyes.’

  ‘I know,’ she said. ‘I’m not about to mess up my hair by pulling a black sock over my head. Who made the rules about how a ninja mask should look anyway?’

  ‘Ninjas, maybe?’ I said.

  Melvin smiled tightly as he approached me. ‘Don’t mind Gidget,’ he said. ‘She has a strong personality.’

  ‘Gidget?’ I repeated.

  ‘You got a problem with my name?’ Gidget said

  ‘Is that your real name?’ I asked.

  ‘Real enough,’ she replied, returning her attention to her phone.

  The boy next to her jumped up, his face beaming with a smile. ‘I’m Slug.’

  I paused, staring at the boy called Slug, unsure how to respond.

  ‘That’s not my real name, of course,’ Slug said as he rocked back and forth. ‘My sister started calling me that because she thought I moved as slow as a slug. You know how nicknames stick.’

  ‘Oh, cool,’ I said. ‘So you’re okay with me calling you Slug?’

  ‘Yepper pepper,’ he replied, leaning back and stretching his shoulders out.

  ‘Your sister sounds like a nimrod though,’ I added, trying to be funny.

  Slug stopped smiling instantly. ‘Dude,’ he whispered as he jerked his head toward Gidget. ‘Not cool, man. My sister’s right there.’

  Gidget lowered her phone and stared at me through the eyeholes on her mask.

  ‘They’re twins,’ Melvin said, leaning toward me.

  Embarrassed, I tried to cover for myself. ‘No! I meant nimrod in the good way!’

  ‘What way is that?’ Gidget asked.

  ‘In Iceland, nimrod means, um … a skilled hunter,’ I said. Lowering my gaze, I scratched at the back of my head. ‘Y’know, come to think it, that might actually be true.’ I jabbed my finger repeatedly against Slug’s head and looked at Gidget. ‘Can you feel that? Because, y’know … twins?’

  Gidget rolled her eyes and brought her phone back to her face. She grunted, ‘So immature. I really need to start hanging out with people my own age. I feel so old around you guys.’

  ‘Dude,’ Slug sighed. ‘You’re, like, a minute and a half older than me.’

  Gidget made a duck face and wobbled her head back and forth, silently mocking her brother.

  Slug rolled his shoulders, loosening his muscles. ‘So when do we get to start punching things? I like punching things – walls, wooden boards, trees, toast.’

  ‘You punch toast?’ I asked.

  ‘Heck yeah!’ Slug said with a hearty laugh. ‘Have you ever punched toast before? It pretty much explodes when you hit it!’

  Rebuilding my ninja clan was going to be tougher than I thought.

  ‘We won’t be punching toast,’ I said.

  Melvin squinted at the clock on the wall. ‘What exactly will we be doing?’

  ‘Training,’ I said. ‘Learning about honour and nobility and stuff.’

  ‘And what kind of actual ninjutsu training do you have?’ Melvin asked.

  ‘Well, besides the fact that I was born into a ninja family, I also trained for many years with shaolin monks in Japan.’

  ‘Really?’ Slug asked as his jaw dropped.

  I laughed. ‘No, not really.’

  ‘Oh, sooooo …’ Melvin said, still waiting for my answer.

  ‘Training, yes!’ I said. ‘Mostly internet. A few ninja flicks from the ’70s, but mostly internet.’

  Melvin continued to stare at me. His face was hard to read. I couldn’t tell whether he was excited or disappointed.

  ‘Awkwaaaaaard …’ Gidget sang, staring at the face of her phone still.

  Finally Slug broke the silence. ‘When’s snack time? I’m just asking because whatever the snacks are, they have to be a hundred per cent organic, like, you better have milked the cow yourself if milk is what we’re drinking.’

  I laughed. ‘Sure, I milked all the cows for the yoghurt we’ll be eating later.’

  ‘Wait … yoghurt’s made from milk?’ Slug said, slapping his forehead like he was worried. ‘My entire life has been a lie.’

  ‘I’m gluten-free,’ Gidget added.

  The bell rang in the hallway. Without looking away from her text messages, Gidget walked toward the exit with Slug and Melvin trailing behind her.

  Sighing, I watched them leave.

  Yup. This might not have been the best idea I’d ever had.

  I got to school the next morning about fifteen minutes before homeroom. On Tuesdays, the cafeteria serves bacon-egg-and-cheese croissants, with a side of hash browns.

  But the second I stepped into the lobby, I wondered if I was having another bizarre dream.

  ‘Move it or lose it,’ a kid wearing an enormous alien head said. I stepped aside, staring at the strange looking monster as it passed by. When I looked down the hallway, I saw several other kids wearing heads of other creatures. The heads swayed back and forth as they lumbered across the lobby.

  ‘What in the heck?’ I whispered.

  ‘Chase Cooper! Take me to your leader!’ someone behind me said.

  I turned to look, absolutely terrified at what I saw. It sounded like Brayden’s voice, but it was a gigantic kitten face that was staring back at me.

  I choked out a high-pitched squeal as I jumped back.

&nbs
p; The kitten stepped forward and sounded concerned as he reached for me. ‘Dude, it’s cool! It’s me!’

  As I stepped back again, I noticed a long banner hanging from the cafeteria windows. I breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Oh, right. Spirit Week.’

  Removing the giant kitten head from his shoulders, Brayden let out a sigh. He was sweating like he had just finished running the mile in gym. ‘I don’t think I can wear this thing longer than five minutes,’ he said, wiping his brow. ‘Unless I want to sit in a puddle of sweat all day.’

  ‘But you could fall asleep in there, and no one would know!’ I joked.

  The gears started churning in Brayden’s brain as he stared off into space with a hint of a grin. He put the giant kitten mask back on, took one step to the side, and slowly waddled down the hall.

  I checked the line for breakfast. Luckily it was pretty short because I was hungrier than a … whatever is known for being hungry, I guess.

  Before I could take a spot in line, Zoe came out from the front office. ‘Chase, wait!’ she said, holding out her hand. ‘Did you fill out those papers for the competition?’

  ‘Oh, right,’ I said, pulling my book bag off my shoulders. Unzipping the bag, I searched inside. It looked like a brick of smashed paper was stuffed into my bag.

  Zoe sighed. The chaos inside my cluttered bag was enough to send her heart racing.

  ‘You should let me clean that out for you,’ she said as she pulled back the opening of my canvas book bag with her finger. ‘Seriously, I see stuff in there from the food drive we had during the first week of school.’

  ‘It’s my bag of memories!’ I said, yanking out a stapled set of papers. There was a weird stain at the bottom of the first page, like someone had set their coffee mug on it.

  ‘Gross,’ Zoe said, pinching the registration form between two fingers.

  I laughed. ‘The really gross thing is that it’s been in my bag since you gave it to me!’

  Zoe’s face went white. ‘Something in your bag is leaking, and you need to take care of it.’