Spirit Week Shenanigans

by Marcus Emerson

  It was only the second day with the kids in my new ninja clan, and I’d already lost one member.

  After getting dropped off, I went straight into the kitchen to grab some fries and a juice. I know what you’re thinking – fries for breakfast? Who does that? And my answer is this – if the school thought it was bad for me, then they wouldn’t make them in the morning. Besides, the orange juice made it a balanced breakfast, right? Yeah, let’s go with that.

  It was day three of Spirit Week. I was actually super pumped about today because the theme was the future, and that meant I could dress like it was the year 3000. I had crafted a robot costume out of cardboard, aluminium foil, and flexible metal ducts for my arms.

  It looked killer.

  ‘Chase! Over here!’ Zoe called from a lunch table a few rows away.

  I shuffled over to the table that my friends were sitting at. Zoe was talking rapidly, stopping every few sentences so Gavin could write down what she said.

  Faith was munching on a slice of breakfast pizza. She looked up at me with a giant smile, showing me all the pizza sauce and chewed up cheese in her teeth. It made me honk out a laugh, which then made her laugh too. Fortunately, she covered her mouth so none of the pizza would fly out of it.

  Brayden was in the middle of telling Dani some huge story. When Brayden gets into a story, he makes big gestures with his hands.

  ‘Nice costume,’ Zoe said. ‘Those arms are going to make it difficult to do anything though.’

  ‘I know,’ I said, taking the seat across from Faith. ‘I’ll probably dump the whole thing before going to homeroom. It’s more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, I know I look way super cool, but I’m not sure I’m willing to pay the price of comfort for it.’

  I stuffed a handful of fries into my mouth. ‘So … what’s today’s game?’

  Zoe chuckled. ‘Nice try.’

  ‘Come on,’ I joked. ‘What good is having a presidential cousin if she doesn’t help me out here and there?’

  Zoe made a face at me. ‘Is this what it’s going to be like all the time with you?’

  I cracked a wicked smile. ‘Mayhaps,’ I said.

  ‘Mayhaps isn’t a word,’ Zoe said as she read what Gavin was writing down. ‘Don’t write ‘mayhaps’! Don’t give power to Chase’s weird language!’

  ‘I like the word,’ Gavin said honestly. ‘It’s goin’ on the notepad.’

  I started whining playfully. ‘Come onnnnn, Zoe! Didn’t you say you owed me for slapping me in front of everyone last week?’

  That actually happened.

  Zoe narrowed her eyes. ‘I already apologised for that, but you said we were even since I only slapped you because you took credit for my pizza party. A party pizza, which BTW, cost almost a thousand bucks of my own money that I scrimped and saved for all year.’

  I scratched the back of my head, feeling shameful. It was the Scavengers that were responsible for snagging Zoe’s pizza party away from her, and since she still didn’t know they existed, I didn’t want to come clean about exactly what happened.

  ‘You’re right. Sorry, Zoe,’ I said, looking down.

  The first bell went off outside in the lobby. Dani jumped up from the table as if the bell had scared her. She moved so fast that her knee bumped against the bottom of the table and she fell off the bench.

  ‘Whoa!’ Brayden said. ‘You okay?’

  ‘Yup,’ Dani said, laughing at her own fumble. ‘The bell just scared me, that’s all.’ She bounced up from the floor. ‘I gotta go to the bathroom. I’ll see you at lunch?’

  Brayden blushed. ‘Okay. Later.’

  I took the last little handful of fries on my tray and shoved them into my mouth. I leaned back, chugging the last of my orange juice.

  ‘It isn’t a race, dude,’ Zoe said, grossed out.

  Her comment wasn’t meant to be funny, but I still laughed … in the middle of a gulp, which made me cough some of the mixture of OJ and fries out of my mouth.

  Zoe jumped from the table, covering her mouth and gagging.

  Everyone else laughed about it though, even me.

  ‘Great,’ I said. ‘I got juice comin’ out of my nose.’

  My cousin had her hands on her hips, staring at the ceiling because she refused to look at my face. ‘Clean yourself up,’ she laughed. ‘That’s so sick!’

  Wiping my chin with my sleeve, I got up from the table, pulling my book bag over my shoulder at the same time. ‘Alright, I’ll go wash the decadent orange-juice-infused mashed potato off my face,’ I chuckled. ‘I’ll see you guys back here after lunch.’

  After leaving the lunchroom, I rushed down the hallway to find the nearest bathroom. Most of the OJ and fries got on the table so there wasn’t much for me to wash off, if anything really, but losing that last chug of juice left me thirsty. I turned the corner, looking for a water fountain.

  Around the corner, I saw Dani walking down the opposite direction of the hallway, away from the restrooms.

  ‘Hey, Dani, wait up!’ I called out.

  Dani stopped in the hall. She spun around and shot me a smile. ‘Hi,’ she said.

  Have you ever run into anyone and said ‘hi’ because it’s the polite thing to do, but then you realise you have nothing else to say? That’s what happened next.

  I stared at Dani, trying to think of something, anything, to say. ‘So …’

  Dani leaned her head forward. ‘Mmhmm? You called my name and told me to wait up.’

  ‘I know,’ I said in a soft murmur.

  ‘So … what? Did you want to say something to me?’

  This was awkwaaaaaaard.

  In a panic, I tried to be funny. Pointing at the water fountain, I said, ‘Good. This is good water.’

  Dani’s face went from curious to slightly concerned for her safety. ‘Okaaaaay …’

  At that instant, the restroom door swung open. A small part of me was relieved because I could use the distraction as a way to escape. But as if fate had it in for me, Wyatt peeked out.

  Of course.

  Wyatt stopped in the doorway of the restroom, carrying a manila envelope. He had a paranoid and suspicious way about him, but I didn’t think anything of it because when doesn’t he look suspicious?

  Another moment of head-crushing silence passed as the three of us looked back and forth at each other.

  Wyatt pointed between Dani and me. ‘What’s going on here? What’re you guys doing?’

  ‘What are you doing?’ I replied. Not my best comeback, I know.

  ‘I just went to the bathroom!’ Wyatt said sternly. ‘That’s not weird. What’s weird is you guys waiting for me to come out!’

  ‘Nasty,’ I said. ‘Nobody was waiting for you.’

  Wyatt wiped his wet hands on his shirt.

  Please be water.

  Wyatt stepped out and gave Dani an evil eye. ‘What’re you staring at?’

  Dani huffed, shaking her head like she was more offended than annoyed. Without saying another word, she turned and sped off down the hall.

  ‘Chicks, am I right?’ Wyatt said, smashing his palm against the water fountain switch. He slurped at the rusty brown water that gushed from the fountain. Sick.

  ‘Whatever,’ I said, glancing at the clock on the wall. I only had about thirty seconds to make it to homeroom.

  I pulled my book bag straps tighter over my shoulders and started to walk away.

  ‘You know, it’s not enough for me to win these games,’ Wyatt said.

  Stopping, I looked over my shoulder at him.

  ‘No,’ he went on, ‘I don’t think victory is enough, unless the victory comes with a side of Chase Cooper’s failure. Mmm, yeah. That sounds good. I’ll have that.’

  I cringed. Wyatt was known to say some pretty messed up stuff, but that was easily one of the meaner things I’ve heard come out of his mouth.

  I walked away.

  After meeting up with my team, we headed into the cafeteria and took our spots on the stage. Zoe was
up the front.

  ‘Who’s ready for a quiz show?’ Zoe hollered into the mic as everyone in the audience cheered.

  On the stage were the four remaining teams. Jake’s team were on the far left, Wyatt’s team were next in line, Sophia’s team was right next to us, and we were on the far right of the stage. Each table had a microphone and a light-up buzzer placed on top of it.

  ‘At least this game is clean,’ Gavin said, leaning back in his metal chair. ‘I was pickin’ baked beans outta my ears until bedtime!’

  ‘That,’ Faith said, ‘is nasty.’

  Zoe jumped off the stage and took a seat at a desk at the front of the cafeteria, facing the teams. She popped her microphone into a tiny stand on the desk and shuffled through a stack of notecards. ‘Sebastian is going to come around to each team with a basket. If you have a phone, please place it in the basket. You’ll get it back at the end of the game.’

  Sebastian stepped out of the shadows, carrying an empty milk crate.

  ‘No way!’ Jake shouted. ‘How do I know you’re not gonna mess with it?’

  Zoe set down the notecards and leaned forward, speaking clearly into the microphone. ‘We’ll leave the phones right at the front of the stage. They’ll be in sight the entire time.’

  The members of each team groaned, but did as Zoe ordered. It made sense – anyone who had a smartphone could easily look up the answers.

  After Sebastian set the crate of phones down, Zoe continued. ‘Let’s get started, shall we? The first team to get to seven points wins. After I ask the question, players will buzz in if they think they have the answer. Wait until I call on you to answer. Okay?’

  The teams nodded.

  ‘Okay,’ Zoe said, lifting the first notecard to her face. ‘President Buchanan was never married, so who was the first lady?’

  I slammed my hand down on the buzzer, and then shouted my answer into the mic. ‘His niece! His niece was the first lady!’

  Zoe tightened her lips. ‘I’m sorry, Chase, you weren’t the first one to buzz in. You have to wait until I call on you to answer.’

  I looked at Wyatt’s buzzer. It was lit up.

  ‘Wyatt’s team,’ Zoe said reluctantly. ‘Do you have an answer?’

  A smile snaked across Wyatt’s face. He stared right at me as he leaned forward and spoke. ‘The first lady during President Buchanan’s term was his niece.’

  ‘Nice one,’ Faith said.

  At the side of the stage, Sebastian was at a whiteboard keeping score. He drew a line under Wyatt’s name since Wyatt’s team had scored the first point.

  The kids in the cafeteria clapped lazily.

  ‘Second question,’ Zoe said. ‘Male moose shed what every winter?’

  The buzzers buzzed.

  ‘Jake’s team,’ Zoe said. ‘What’s your answer?’

  ‘Bones!’ Jake said with confidence.

  ‘Can anything shed bones?’ Brayden asked, leaning toward us.

  ‘That’d be freaky,’ I said, shuddering at the thought of a blob of moose fur slithering away from the bones it had just shed.

  Jake’s team gave themselves a round of applause, but Zoe put a stop to that immediately.

  ‘I’m sorry, that answer is incorrect,’ Zoe said as students in the lunchroom snickered.

  Everyone’s buzzers went off again.

  ‘Chase’s team!’ Zoe said joyfully.

  ‘Fur,’ I said.

  ‘No!’ Faith scolded. ‘Moose shed their antlers!’

  ‘I mean—’ I said, but Zoe cut me off.

  ‘That answer is incorrect,’ Zoe said.

  Then Wyatt’s buzzer went off. ‘Antlers,’ he said calmly.

  Zoe nodded at Sebastian who put another mark under Wyatt’s name on the white board.

  Wyatt exchanged high fives with each member of his team. Some of them tried giving him a fist bump instead, which led to that awkward moment when fists are bumping open palms.

  Zoe went on. ‘How many dimples does a regulation golf ball have?’

  The buzzers were silent for a moment.

  ‘How does anyone even know the answer to something like that?’ I asked.

  Wyatt’s buzzer went off. He spoke before Zoe called on him.

  ‘Three hundred and sixty-six,’ he said with his eyes half shut and a cocky smile.

  Sebastian marked another point for Wyatt’s team.

  ‘I golf during the summer with my dad,’ Wyatt said, holding his palms up as his teammates clenched victory fists.

  ‘A group of crows is called a what?’ Zoe asked.

  Wyatt buzzed in … again.

  ‘A group of crows is called a murder!’ he answered.

  ‘That’s not right,’ Gavin said, folding his arms on the table.

  ‘That’s correct,’ Zoe said.

  Gavin flinched forward. ‘Really?’

  ‘That’s so dark,’ Faith said.

  Wyatt had four marks under his name on the whiteboard. The rest of us were yet to score a single point.

  Zoe flipped out another notecard. ‘How many trips did the Titanic take before sinking?’

  ‘Is that a trick question?’ I asked Faith as she pressed the buzzer.

  ‘Zero!’ Faith said, but covered her mouth instantly.

  Wyatt’s buzzer was already lit up. ‘Zero,’ he said.

  Zoe was clearly frustrated. ‘Correct!’ she said, pretending to be excited.

  Another mark went under Wyatt’s name on the scoreboard.

  Zoe didn’t hesitate with the next question. ‘Who sculpted Mount Rushmore?’

  Wyatt’s buzzer went off almost before Zoe was even finished asking her question.

  Everyone in the room looked at Wyatt, waiting for him to speak.

  ‘Aren’t you going to call on me?’ Wyatt asked Zoe sarcastically. ‘We can only answer if you call on us.’

  Zoe squeezed the bridge of her nose. ‘Wyatt’s team, what’s your answer?’

  ‘John Gutzon de la Mothe Borglum,’ he said, slowly and with perfect pronunciation.

  Zoe paused. ‘That’s right.’

  ‘There’s no way he’s not cheating,’ Brayden said. ‘He’s getting his answers from somewhere, it’s so obvi. He used that Mount Rushmore dude’s whole name! Gustaf du la Mothman, or whatever!’

  ‘But everyone had to give up their phones,’ I said.

  ‘Then someone must be feeding him the answers,’ Brayden said. ‘Whoever’s helping him should get thrown in detention for the rest of the year.’

  Wyatt’s team was one correct answer away from victory.

  I hovered my hand over the buzzer, ready to push it down before Zoe even finished her next question.

  Zoe flipped up another card. ‘How many bones in the human skull?’

  Finally, our buzzer went off.

  ‘Chase’s team,’ Zoe said.

  ‘Twenty-two!’ I said, wildly guessing.

  ‘Correct!’ Zoe said, doing her best to conceal her excitement.

  Sebastian put a mark under my name on the scoreboard.

  ‘What does a meteorologist study?’ Zoe asked.

  Again, I slammed my buzzer before she finished speaking.

  ‘Meteors!’ I said after Zoe called on my team.

  Zoe gasped, and I knew I had got the answer wrong.

  Wyatt’s buzzer went off again. He looked at me with pity. ‘I’m afraid a meteorologist studies the weather, Chase.’

  ‘Correct,’ Zoe said, tapping her notecards on her desk.

  ‘Groaaaan,’ Faith sighed.

  ‘It’s fine,’ I said, trying to remain positive. ‘We just have to not lose in order to stay in the games. We’ve got one point already – only six more to go.’ I raised my fists and pretended to cheer. ‘Yay, maths!’

  Zoe continued. ‘Wyatt’s team wins, but there are still three teams remaining, which brings us to sudden elimination.’

  ‘Sudden what?’ I repeated.

  ‘Sudden elimination,’ Gavin said. ‘It means—’ />
  ‘I know what it means!’ I said. ‘First wrong answer loses!’

  ‘Not exactly,’ Zoe said. ‘In this version, the last team still in is the loser. I’ll ask the question. One team will answer. If they get it right, they advance to tomorrow’s game. If they get it wrong, they won’t be eliminated, they’ll just remain in the quiz for the next question.’

  I sat forward, hovering my hand over the buzzer again. Jake and Sophia did the same thing over their own buzzers. Wyatt and his team left the stage through the side doors.

  Zoe took a breath. ‘What year did World War II end?’

  Our hands all slammed on the buzzers, but it was Jake who hit it first.

  ‘1492!’ he shouted.

  ‘Wow,’ Faith said. ‘That’s so wrong that I’m embarrassed for him.’

  ‘Incorrect!’ Zoe said, and then immediately asked the next question. ‘What’s the largest country in the world?’

  Hands slapped buzzers across the stage. Jake got to it first again.

  ‘Texas!’ he said.

  ‘No!’ Zoe said, pointing at Jake’s team.

  Gavin stood from our table so quickly that his chair slid backward. ‘Texas is a state, not a country! What’s the matter with you?’

  Zoe flipped another card. ‘Name a species of bird that can’t fly!’

  Hands slammed on the table, but Sophia answered before Zoe called on her team. ‘Penguins!’

  I looked at Jake’s buzzer, which wasn’t lit up. Neither was mine. That meant it actually was Sophia’s turn to answer.

  ‘Correct!’ Zoe shouted, getting excited. ‘Congrats to your team, Sophia. You’ve secured a spot in tomorrow’s game.’

  Sophia’s team celebrated with hugs as they left through the side door.

  Only two teams remained on stage – Jake’s team and mine.

  ‘What’s the main ingredient in glass?’ Zoe asked.

  I slammed on the buzzer, but Jake beat me to it again.

  ‘No!’ I snipped.

  ‘Glass!’ Jake answered, fully realising he meant to say something else. ‘I mean—’

  ‘Incorrect!’ Zoe said, shaking her head while holding back a laugh.

  ‘Glass is the main ingredient in glass, huh?’ Faith hollered.

  Zoe jumped in with the next question. ‘What’s the closest star to Earth?’