Spirit Week Shenanigans

by Marcus Emerson

  ‘What’s she talkin’ about?’ I asked Gavin. ‘C’mon, man. Zoe must’ve told you something about this hunt, right? You guys are, like, together.’

  Gavin sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders. ‘She’s good at keepin’ secrets when she wants to.’

  Sophia and Wyatt had their envelopes and were waving them at Zoe. She lifted her air horn high over her head and sounded the horn.

  Faith tore into the envelope. She pulled out the slip of paper and read the riddle. ‘Take my skin off, and I won’t cry, but you will. What am I?’

  ‘A monster?’ Gavin joked.

  Faith laughed. ‘But the riddle says that we’re the ones taking the skin off.’

  ‘What do we take skin off of?’ I asked, looking for Wyatt’s team, but they weren’t on the field anymore. They were already running back to the school. ‘C’mon, guys! Wyatt’s team already solved the riddle!’

  ‘No way!’ Faith said. ‘Zoe just honked the horn, like, five seconds ago! We barely even opened the envelope!’

  ‘Skin, skin, skin,’ Brayden repeated tapping his knuckle on his forehead. ‘Fried chicken? What else has skin?’

  ‘Apples, potatoes, bananas …’ Gavin said.

  ‘Onions!’ I shouted so loud that Sophia’s team heard me too. ‘Onions don’t cry when you take their skin off, but they always make me cry!’

  ‘Crybaby,’ Brayden laughed.

  Faith bolted with the envelope in her hand. ‘The kitchen! The next clue is somewhere in the kitchen!’

  Sophia’s team was sprinting across the field too, headed towards the cafeteria doors.

  ‘Next time, don’t shout the answer, okay?’ Brayden said. ‘If we lose this, we’re done for. Sophia’s team will go up against Wyatt’s team tomorrow, and I think we know that Wyatt will do whatever he can to win.’

  ‘Roger, roger,’ I replied.

  Brayden was right. Shouting my answer was a rookie mistake. If I wanted to keep Wyatt from creating a public red ninja clan, I was going to have to focus.

  When we ran through the doors of the kitchen, staff were still in the middle of cleaning up. Lunch ladies and gentlemen were spraying huge metal pans with water, blasting off crusted cheese and meat from today’s meals.

  Principal Davis and Zoe must have let the kitchen staff know there would be a bunch of sixth graders rifling through their stuff because all the adults acted as if we weren’t in there.

  ‘Onions,’ Faith said, searching the room with her eyes. She ran up to one of the lunch staff and shouted like a maniac. ‘Where are your onions?’

  I was impressed by and afraid of the person Faith became during the competition.

  The man waved his hand, gesturing to the back of the kitchen.

  We sprinted past everyone and turned the corner, just in time to see Wyatt rip open his second envelope over a pile of torn up onions.

  ‘You weren’t supposed to hack up the onions!’ Gavin said, slipping across the floor on onion juice.

  ‘You can’t prove anything!’ Wyatt said as he waved his teammates out the side door so they could solve the riddle without anyone hearing. ‘He stomped on every onion!’ I said, starting to feel the burn in my eyes.

  Gavin slid around, scraping the floor with his palms, desperately searching for a second envelope. ‘I can’t see! My eyes! They’re burning!’

  Faith was on the floor too, but she was holding her knees and rocking back and forth while wailing.

  Sophia’s team slid across the floor and crashed into the wall behind us. They groaned together in pain, trying to figure out what just happened.

  I dropped to my knees and pushed aside all the crushed onions. It was one of the nastiest things I’d ever done in my life.

  For the record, I’ve cut onions before – I’m no stranger to that. What I was a stranger to was rolling around in about a hundred crushed onions, feeling even more onions burst apart under me.

  A river of tears streamed down my cheeks as I frantically searched for the second envelope. With all the tears and groaning in pain, the back of the kitchen must’ve looked like a roomful of sobbing kids.

  Suddenly I felt the sharp corner of an envelope hiding under a puddle of smashed onions.

  ‘Got it!’ I shouted, raising it high over my head while keeping my eyes shut. ‘Faith, take it!’

  I felt a hand snatch the envelope from mine.

  ‘Good!’ I said, keeping my eyelids clenched tight. ‘Now help me up before you open it.’

  Faith’s voice came from across the room. ‘What’re you talking about? I didn’t get it yet!’

  ‘Oh no,’ I said, forcing the lid of one eye open. I was fighting against my natural instinct to keep the eye closed. Through blurry vision, I saw Sophia and her team leave through the same door that Wyatt’s team did. ‘Sophia stole it from me!’

  ‘Get mad about it later!’ Gavin sobbed. ‘Right now we gotta find that last envelope!’

  ‘I’m looking! I’m looking!’ I screamed, spreading my body out on the puddle of onions on the floor. ‘I can’t breathe! It’s too strong!’

  ‘I have it!’ Brayden’s voice shouted.

  ‘This was a terrible idea!’ Faith shouted, snatching an onion off the floor as proof that we solved the first riddle. ‘Terrible!’

  Bursting through the door, we found ourselves in the west hallway and to our surprise, a bunch of sixth graders were cheering us on. It was like the race on Tuesday when students were allowed to cheer in the halls during the competition.

  Brayden ripped off the top of the second envelope, and spoke. ‘Riddle me this,’ he said with a pitchy squeal.

  ‘Quit messin’ around and gimme that thing!’ Gavin ordered.

  Competitions can bring out the worst in friends.

  Through squinted eyes, Gavin read the riddle. ‘What has a ring, but no finger?’

  Faith opened her hand in front of her face and jokingly sang about single ladies.

  ‘What the heck wears a ring with no fingers?’ I asked.

  ‘Saturn?’ Brayden said.

  ‘The science room?’ I suggested.

  ‘No,’ Gavin said. ‘If Saturn were the answer, then the telescope on the roof could be the next checkpoint too. The answer has to be obvious.’

  ‘Right,’ I said. ‘What else has a ring, but no finger?’

  ‘There’s a ring around the bottom of the toilets,’ Brayden said.

  ‘Gross,’ Faith snipped.

  ‘Onion rings? A ringing bell?’ I said, thinking aloud.

  ‘A telephone rings too,’ Brayden said.

  Like a bug bit the back of her leg, Faith jumped. ‘Oh! There’s a broken-down payphone in the dungeon! That’s gotta be the answer!’

  ‘Boom!’ I said.

  Faith pointed her finger high into the air and shouted with a booming voice. ‘To the Dungeon!’

  A few minutes later, we were running down the steps into the lowest level of school.

  It was always cold and damp no matter what time of year it was, which is why most kids called it the Dungeon.

  ‘The payphone is back by the orchestra room,’ Faith said, taking the lead.

  I whipped my hands back and forth, trying to dry the onion juice off, but it was no use. We were walking sponges of stink.

  Turning the corner at the far end of the first hall, Faith stopped. ‘There it is,’ she said. ‘But Sophia’s team is already there.’

  ‘Any sign of Wyatt?’ I asked, peeking around the corner.

  ‘No,’ Faith said as she stepped out into the open.

  Sophia and her team were standing next to the broken payphone, staring at the riddle from their envelope. Underneath the phone was a single envelope, which meant Wyatt’s team had already come and gone, and Sophia’s team must already have their envelope.

  The envelope was taped to a handset that wasn’t hooked up to anything. That must’ve been the token we were to collect. So far we had some crushed onion and a telephone handset.

&nbs
p; We walked up to the payphone, and I took the envelope and stupidly slid my finger under the flap. It was at just the perfect angle to give me a paper cut.

  ‘Knights of the round table!’ I hollered as I flinched and dropped the envelope. ‘Ohhhh, the onion juice makes it worse! It makes it worse!’

  Faith sucked air through her teeth as she looked away.

  I stared at the microscopic cut on my finger as Brayden grabbed the envelope. ‘I’m no use, you guys,’ I said, taking quick breaths. ‘Go on without me.’

  ‘Quit yer bellyaching,’ Gavin said. ‘Brayden! Read the riddle!’

  Brayden curled a creepy smile, as he spoke in the same high-pitched voice as before. ‘Riddle me this —’

  ‘Just read it!’ I shouted.

  ‘The more I dry,’ Brayden said, ‘the wetter I become.’

  Sophia and her entire team looked up from their envelope, about a metre and a half away from us. It was totes obvious they were trying to eavesdrop on our answer.

  Shuffling together as a group, we inched toward the end of the hall. Brayden grabbed the unattached handset and brought it with us.

  We stopped at the corner, but could still hear shuffling feet. When I looked back at Sophia’s team, they all snapped their attention to random places in the hall. Her team was still about a metre and a half away from us even though we had moved away.

  ‘Can’t even be slick about it?’ Faith said, raising her head from our huddle.

  ‘It’s fine,’ I said, ‘Let’s just figure this out and get going. We probably won’t beat Wyatt’s team, but as long as Sophia is behind us, we won’t lose.’

  ‘Agreed,’ Gavin said, nodding once.

  ‘So what gets wetter the more it dries off?’ Brayden asked, rolling the handset back and forth in his hands.

  Everyone fell silent, stumped by the riddle.

  ‘So as something gets drier,’ I said aloud, ‘it also gets wetter. That doesn’t make any sense.’

  ‘Wait,’ Faith said, snapping her fingers. ‘I think I … yeah, I think I got it.’

  We stared at her, waiting for the answer.

  ‘Go on,’ I finally said.

  Faith leaned closer so she could whisper quietly. ‘I think it’s a towel.’

  I face-palmed myself and then whispered to my friends. ‘Of course! A towel dries things! As it dries things off, it gets wetter! Booya!’

  ‘I’ve got it,’ Sophia said in a deadpan voice. She had overheard us. ‘The answer is a towel.’

  Her team sprinted down the hall.

  Faith stumbled out of our huddle. ‘You little cheaters!’ she shouted while running away.

  ‘Wait up!’ I called out, chasing after Faith with Gavin and Brayden behind me. ‘Where can we find towels?’

  ‘The janitors closet!’ Faith said.

  ‘Ms Chen-Jung ain’t gonna be too happy ’bout that!’ Gavin shouted.

  Sophia’s team dashed down the hallway and cut the corner hard. Faith slid around the corner on her shoes, able to pick up her pace again once she turned. Gavin and Brayden were bookin’ it behind me.

  ‘The main janitor’s closet on the first floor is where we’ll find the last clue!’ Faith shouted super loudly.

  Great, Faith. Why don’t you let the whole school know where we’re headed? At least that way they’ll know why Sophia’s team beat us so easily!

  At the stairs of the dungeon, Sophia leapt wildly, skipping two steps between each stride. Her teammates weren’t as athletic, and took to the stairs rapidly shuffling their feet.

  Faith grabbed the handrail, and stomped her foot on the first step, but came to a complete stop after that.

  ‘What’re you waiting you for?’ I said, jumping onto the staircase, clearing three steps.

  Faith put a finger against her lips. With her other hand, she pointed straight up.

  The sound of Sophia and her team running desperately to the janitor’s closet on the first floor rumbled through the brick walls.

  Gavin and Brayden stopped behind Faith at the bottom of the steps, clutching their stomachs, trying to catch their breath.

  I sighed, throwing my hands in the air. ‘What?’ I asked.

  About three seconds later, the stomping footsteps faded out, which meant Sophia’s team was out of earshot.

  Faith took a deep breath, smiling. Jogging up the staircase, she checked the lobby to see if it was clear. Besides a few students watching the scavenger hunt, it was nearly empty.

  ‘The towels aren’t in the janitor’s closet,’ Faith said.

  ‘What?’ I asked, confused. ‘Wait … what ?’

  ‘All Sophia’s going to find is a bunch of mops and cleaning supplies,’ Faith explained. ‘The riddle wants us to go to the locker rooms.’

  ‘Whoa,’ Brayden said. ‘That’s brilliant! You sent Sophia’s team on a wild turkey hunt!’

  ‘Goose chase,’ Gavin corrected.

  ‘Sure did,’ Faith said proudly as she sped up her pace. ‘But we should keep moving. It won’t take them long to realise there aren’t any towels in there. And even less time if Ms Chen-Jung is there.’

  We ran through the lobby and into the hallway where the locker rooms. I looked back and forth between the girls’ and boys’ doors.

  ‘Which one?’ I asked.

  ‘Do you think it matters?’ Gavin asked. ‘I bet any towel will do.’

  ‘You got a point,’ Faith said, pushing against the girls’ locker room door, but it didn’t budge. ‘This one’s locked. We’ll have to go into the boys’ locker room.’

  ‘Um,’ I said, hesitantly. ‘Maybe you should just meet us at the track?’

  ‘Nuh-uh!’ Faith snipped. ‘We’re a team and we do everything as a team!’

  ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you,’ I gulped, pushing the door to the boys’ locker room open.

  Gavin and Brayden laughed at the face Faith made when the putrid smell of the locker room hit her.

  ‘What is that? It smells like a wet dog just rolled around in some wet socks … and then pooped all over the place!’

  Suddenly, Sophia’s voice echoed down the hallway. ‘There! You think you’re so smart, huh? I knew there weren’t any towels in the janitor’s closet! I just wanted you to think I didn’t know!’

  Faith gasped. Pinching her nose and shaking her head, she ran through the door. Brayden, Gavin and I followed her lead.

  Inside the dark locker room, we made our way down different aisles separated by gym lockers. We split up so we could find the towels we needed to win the race.

  The locker-room door swung open and creaked shut. Sophia and her team were also in there.

  ‘Come out, come out, wherever you are,’ Sophia eerily sang.

  I heard Faith complain. ‘Why are all the floors wet? Like, every step I take is in a puddle! What am I stepping in?’

  Some of Sophia’s teammates complained and groaned about the smell too.

  I turned the corner, surprised by someone’s shadow, but it was just Brayden.

  ‘Any luck?’ he asked.

  I shook my head. ‘Normally they’re just sitting out on the table in front of the coach’s office, but I don’t see any.’

  ‘I bet Wyatt hid them,’ Brayden said.

  My heart sunk. ‘If you were Wyatt, where would you hide them?’

  Gavin and Faith came around the corner, joining us.

  ‘Wyatt probably hid the towels,’ Brayden said, nodding.

  ‘Course he did,’ Gavin said. ‘Sounds like our Wyatt.’

  ‘Don’t call him ‘our Wyatt’,’ Faith snipped.

  ‘We just can’t think of where the towels would be though,’ Brayden added.

  And then a light bulb switched on in my head. ‘They’re probably in his locker,’ I said, pointing at Wyatt’s locker.

  Brayden spun around and looked through the metal grate. ‘Yep,’ he said. ‘There they are. Two perfectly folded, bright-white towels.’

  ‘Any of you got a locker key?’ Gavin aske
d hopelessly. ‘Or better yet, know his combination?’

  Faith ran her fingers along the metal grate of the locker, studying it carefully with her fingertips. Then she stopped and blinked. Stepping back, she brought her elbow up and rammed it into the bottom corner of Wyatt’s locker. The door flipped open.

  Gavin, Brayden and I stared at her with our jaws dropped.

  ‘I learned that little move back in the war,’ she joked.

  Brayden snatched the towel on top and grabbed the door to the locker. He started to shut it, but I stopped him.

  ‘Wait!’ I said. ‘Leave it open for Sophia.’

  ‘But we’ll win for sure if she can’t get to the last towel!’ Brayden said.

  I shook my head. ‘If we shut it, we’re just like Wyatt.’

  Brayden nodded. Then he ran to the exit of the locker room with Gavin by his side.

  Narrowing my eyes at Faith, I stared at her for a second, hoping she might give in and just tell me she was the white ninja. When she smiled cluelessly back at me, I asked, ‘You are, aren’t you?’

  ‘I’m what?’ Faith asked, smiling. ‘No idea what you’re talking about it.’

  As she jogged down the aisle to the exit, Sophia’s team rounded the corner and spotted the last towel in Wyatt’s locker.

  ‘Grab it!’ she commanded.

  I ran toward the exit, jumping through the door with Sophia’s team on my tail.

  Outside, my team was standing at the edge of the parking lot, staring at the track. The crowd was cheering for the last two teams to finish the hunt.

  Wyatt’s team was already resting on the benches at the side of the track.

  ‘Why aren’t you guys going?’ I asked, skidding to a stop.

  Gavin pointed toward the track. ‘Because of those.’

  At the bottom of the hill were two sets of giant bowling pins standing right next to each other.