by K. S. Martin
We move along and pass a dining room on the right and finally the kitchen is through an open doorway to the left. It’s huge and any chef would envy it. I can’t imagine sitting here eating an ordinary bowl of oatmeal. It’s all white and stainless. The floor is white marble tile, the countertops are white marble and solid. Very modern. All of the lighting is recessed and the refrigerator is built into a cabinet. Mom would love this. “I’m going to hate keeping this clean.”
“Not your concern beautiful. Jocelyn will take care of it. Your only concern is us.” I think about that. Suddenly, everything is getting real.
“Did you decorate this?” I try to get past the scary overwhelming thoughts that threaten to creep in. He teeters his hand back and forth in the air. “So a woman decorated this.” I say and he grins. “Who is she?” I ask, hoping she is only a decorator and not a previous girlfriend.
“Her name is Michelle. She’s on staff and does all of the decorating in the building. She also is responsible for replacing furniture and fixtures. I nod. “If there is something in this condo that you don’t like, whether it’s paint, furniture, whatever you can ask for a change. She will accommodate you. I want you to be happy so whatever you like Jane. It’s yours now too.” Mine? I shake my head. He lifts me onto a bar stool at the counter. It’s wooden and has a back, the cushion is light turquoise blue. It’s the only color in this room other than the white and steel. “Now let’s see.”
He opens the fridge and brings out a bowl of fruit and puts it in front of me. He spins around and finds a wooden cutting board that is covered with a glass dome. There is bread and cheese underneath the dome. I can see the cheese is the kind that gets melty at room temperature and I want to try it. I’ve only seen this on TV.
Jake sets the dome aside and slices the long loaf of bread into thick pieces. He dips his knife into the cheese and smears it across the bread. My mouth is watering. I’ve never had a reaction like this to a cheese sandwich. Maybe it’s because he’s making it. My stomach screams and groans. Jake looks up at me and grins. He offers the bread. I take it from him and bite into it. It is smooth and creamy like butter’s older more sophisticated cousin. I hear him growl softly. We’re going to mate and I’ve just accepted nourishment from his hand. That’s a big deal. My eyes climb up the front of him slowly until they find his. They’re amber. I set the bread down. He grips the counter.
“Eat.” He says softly. I know that he wants me and I know that he is barely containing himself. I hop off the stool and go around the counter. I grab my bread off the plate and offer him a bite. He takes it when I hold it up to his mouth. I smile and finish the piece. We’ve just completed a very old tradition, a ritual really. He’s offered me food, I accepted. I offered him food and he’s accepted. I’ve eaten after him, I’ve accepted him. His wolf knows it, and so does mine. She feels happy in there. She wants him.
He’s making another piece of bread but scoots the bowl of fruit toward me. There are grapes, apples and pears. I choose a small Asian pear. They are incredible. I’ve had this once before, Jake brought it to me and told me to try it. I loved it. He knew that I would. My biggest complaint has always been that pears are too squishy. He found these. A crunchy pear. Leave it to Jake to solve all of the world’s problems. I bite into it, it’s just as I expected. I go back to my seat and climb up.
“My wolf is anxious.” He murmurs. “But I don’t want to rush you.” I watch him. “You’ve had a rough week and a really rough day.” I nod. “If you’re not up to it, we can wait.” He’s not breathing. I let him suffer for a second, pay him back a little for making me wet myself.
“I don’t want to wait.” I finally whisper. He exhales and I grin at him.
“Good.” He lays three pieces of bread and cheese on a napkin and slides them toward me. “We’ll eat and then…” I nod and put more of the bread in my mouth. I’m starting to feel better. I’m not as tired and my stomach is settling. Jake goes to the fridge again and pulls out a soda and a water.
“Water.” I say.
“I have wine if you want.” I shake my head. I hate wine, any alcohol really. It serves no real purpose to a wolf. I’d have to guzzle that whole bottle to get the slightest of buzzes. It tastes awful anyway, so no point really. Not to me.
The soda though, that’s fun. Sugary bubbly fun and I can take a shot at burping the alphabet if I drink it fast enough. Not really a trick I want to show Jake though. It’s neither romantic nor ladylike and today is a day for both of those.
I rub my feet together. They’re getting a little cold. Most wolves are always hot and Jake is one of them but I’m usually colder than wolves. I was always hotter than humans though. In college, I was still wearing short sleeves and sandals when the others were mostly in sweaters and corduroy. I wrap the robe tighter around me when the air conditioning comes on.
We’ve finished with the bread and cheese. He puts the dome back on it and puts the fruit back in the fridge. He takes my pear core and puts it under the sink. The trash can must be there. I’m suddenly nervous. This is it. He’ll claim me next. I shiver. I wonder if he knows I’m a virgin. I wonder if he can sense it or if I should tell him. I think that it’s something that he should know before we get started but I’m not sure how to say it. ‘I’ve never been fucked before so don’t hurt me.’ No. I don’t think he’ll hurt me anyway. It’s Jake.
He holds out a hand to me and I take it. He’s leaving the kitchen and heading back to the bedroom. His cell phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket to look at it. He lets go of my hand and answers it. I wander over to the blinds in the living room and push two apart to get a better view. There’s a balcony but I won’t go out yet. I look out over the skyline. It’s not a huge city but next to the town where I grew up it’s gigantic. Traffic is buzzing below and I see a trail of ruby tail lights moving like ants in a parade beneath me. That’s not for me. If I had to drive in that every day the wolf would break out and make a run for it.
He’s moving down the hall to his office so I follow him. Jake closes the door softly behind him. Maybe it’s private. I narrow my eyes and think about that but I keep walking. If I go down this hall to the end and turn I think I’ll be in the bedroom. I can crawl back under the quilt where it’s warm. I follow the hall, I reach the end and turn. I’m in a smaller room than the bedroom that I remember. I feel for a light switch and flip it up.
It’s full of clothes. Women’s clothes. “What the heck is this?” I ask myself. I touch some of them. There are silks and woolens. There are doors, a double set of doors. I open them and dear God I have never seen so many shoes. They’re all the same size but every color imaginable. I exhale.
Who is she? Who is the woman that belongs to all of these clothes? She must have lived here. She must be important to him for him to have kept this. I wonder if he’s come for me because she’s gone. I feel sorry for her. She must’ve died to have left all of these beautiful things behind. I feel sorry for him too. To have lost someone, a person that you loved so much that you can’t empty their closet. I wonder if Dad has started cleaning out Mom’s things. A tear makes its way down my cheek at that thought and for Jake and the absent woman. Am I just a replacement for her? A runner up. He said that he knew the moment he saw me but now there’s her. Why would he lie?
“Damn it Jane.” He scolds and I whirl around. I’m caught snooping. I feel utter shame at my intruding where I don’t belong and I my cheeks heat. Why didn’t I hear him coming? My wolf is off her game. “You ruined my surprise.” I give him a look that says both ‘huh?’ and ‘oh shit’ all at once. He comes to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Do you like it?”
“What?” He grins. I shrug. I feel stupid right now. Jake has an uncanny ability to make me feel stupid. He’s been doing it for years. He’s smarter than I am and we both know it. When I was in school, all of my schools, I always knew that I was probably the smartest person in the room. Grades and assignments came easy to me, I knew the answers. Bu
t around him it’s as if my brain goes on permanent vacation.
“This? Your dressing room.” He points.
“My…dressing room?” I look at the rainbow of blouses.
“What’s wrong with you Jane?”
“I don’t understand. Why didn’t she take these with her? Did she die? And who is she?” He lowers his forehead to mine.
“This is yours. There is no she, nobody died.”
“None of this is mine.” I glance to the left at the shoes. Oh, I want them to be mine. I could spend days in here trying them on. They’re all so beautiful. There are so many textures and fabrics to run my fingers over. I wonder if I’m drooling. There are pairs lined up on the floor under the clothes too.
“I was going to give you this tomorrow. You don’t need clothes tonight but since you’re here.” He pulls me tightly against him and I melt back into him. “This is for you. My assistant and the future partner of my business must be well dressed. She can’t run around in jeans and tee shirts. I know that you want to climb into that shoe closet because you’ve always been fascinated with them but not now. Can you wait until tomorrow to explore your new closet?”
“These belong to me?” I felt like I was under water and swimming slowly, fighting the current. He was telling me that these were mine. “How could they fit? How do you know what size I wear? When did you do this?”
“I had a personal shopper do it. She ran into you last spring at school. Sized you up and did her job.”
“When?” I’m doubting him, I shouldn’t because he never lies.
“Do you remember a woman knocking on your dorm door? She was looking for a girl named Tamara and she was sure that yours was her room.” I thought about it and vaguely but yes I remembered. “She grabbed your upper arms then gave you a hug.” I nodded. “She was sizing you.” If that were true it would be a hell of a talent. I live in this body all day and all night. Half of the time I have to return what I buy because I never get the sizes correct. “She’s very good at her job and these should all fit you. We’ll find out tomorrow. You can give me a fashion show.” His voice is husky against my ear and I tremble. He chuckles. “Interesting.” He murmurs.
“I’m a virgin.” I whisper. It just pops out because I know that he’s going to hoist me over his shoulder or something equally as caveman and carry me off to have his way. While that’s exciting it’s even more scary, it would be with any man, but especially because it’s Jake. I don’t want to disappoint him.
“I’m glad. I’d hoped but I’m not surprised.” I turn my head sideways and look up at him. He kisses me. “I’m happy to hear it.”
“Why? I don’t know anything. I haven’t practiced so what if I’m bad at it.” His face brightens and he laughs. Why is that funny? I wonder.
“We could never be bad at it. I’m glad you haven’t practiced. I’m overjoyed that no man or beast has marked you in any way. That’s all for me.” His voice lowers. “We can spend our lives teaching each other.” Somehow I doubt that I am going to teach Jake Williams anything about sex. The echoes of all those women screaming his name drifts through my mind. I’m going to do that soon, scream his name.
~5~
I lay the robe over a chair and step back into him. He’s right behind me now. A predator. I tremble. His fingers are quick on my bra clasp and it’s gone. I cover myself with my hands. “Don’t hide from me.” His breath is warm on my shoulder. He places a soft kiss there. “Never hide from me.”
I feel the warmth of his hands on my hips through my panties and I don’t like it that he can feel the extra weight there. I put my hands over his and push gently. “Don’t hide.” He says again. I want the light off. I don’t want him to think the word pudgy when he looks at me. I haven’t gotten over the teasing from when I was young. Jake was relentless and so were the others. I can’t help it that I didn’t turn out like most of them. Didn’t they think I knew that I was different? “I love your curves Jane. You’re so beautiful.” Huh?
“I’m pudgy.” He chuckles. I couldn’t stop that word from coming out.
“You’re incredible. So beautiful and so different than the rest of them.” I nod, unhappy with that remark. “I’ve always loved that you look different than them. That you weren’t all muscles and bones. There is nothing comfortable about laying on top of a pile of bones.” He kisses my temple and I think about that. He’s just trying to make me feel better because he’s stuck with me. I’m his mate, Mother Nature says so and every wolf knows that you obey her or pay the price.
“Thanks.” I mutter. He turns me so I’m facing him. My hands go back up to cover my chest. It’s always been too big. Most she-wolves are smaller, A’s or B’s. I’m a C cup, not huge by human standards but coupled with my pudginess, they’re big. I’ve gotten used to them and my thick thighs but I doubt I will ever get used to Jake seeing any of it. His partners, the ones screaming ‘Jake! Oh Jake’ through the walls were perfect. They were always long and lean. “I can tell how much you hate it by all the women I’ve seen you with. They were always skinny.” I complain looking at his chest. His shirt is gone and his suit pants are hanging from his hips like they were made for his body. He’s perfect. God’s gift. Mr. Fabulous. I’m suddenly not sure I want this. I think I should go home and help Dad clean out her things.
“Jane.” His finger lifts my chin so I am looking him in the eye. “I love you.” I roll my eyes. As if he had a choice. “I’ve always loved you. The way you think, the way you speak and the way you look. The way you fight me. You are mine.”
“Biology.” He shakes his head.
“No, it was the bubbles.” I scrunch my eyebrows. “You were blowing bubbles when you were reading your book upside down that day. When that little pink tongue came out to blow another, I was yours.” I don’t even remember that. I think he’s talking about the first day he came home. “Then you back flipped off the couch.” He grins. “You were gorgeous.” I was never gorgeous. I’m cute, sometimes, at best. “You were gorgeous that day and every day after that even more so.”
He kisses my lips lightly at first then harder and I almost forget my self-consciousness. His mouth trails over my cheek and down my neck. My hands are still covering my breasts and he pulls them away when his mouth gets closer. His tongue flicks out and caresses my nipple. I have to steady myself on his shoulders when he sucks it into his mouth. Oh God. Pleasure shoots through me and straight to my core. How does he do that?
He’s strong, the muscles are big and round under my fingers. I feel my heart speed up because I want him. My pudginess doesn’t matter. Whether I am a virgin or a slut doesn’t matter. What matters is that I want him. My knees are getting weak and my wolf wants him behind us. She wants him to bite us and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get him there.
My hands move across his shoulders and up to his neck. He growls and wraps his arms around my hips then lifts me. I squeal and he laughs then puts me on the bed. “Are you in love with these underwear?” I shake my head. His fingers tighten around the sides and he rips them from me and I gasp. I’m completely naked now and he’s gazing at me. I’m not sure if he likes what he sees or not. He’s concentrating hard like when he’s on his computer. I can’t take it and I shift my legs to hide myself. He grabs my knees and growls angrily.
My wolf submits and my legs fall apart for his view. She’s getting more brazen and she’s taking more control. If I don’t get a handle on her right now she’s going to shift and take over completely. I push her back and look up at his glowing eyes. I know mine are the same color. We’re both on the edge and we need to complete this before it erupts.
I can see the headlines now, wolf loose in office building four dead. I flip myself around and present my rear. I do this, not her. Jake’s hands are fumbling to get out of his pants. I see him trying to maintain his control but he’s losing it.
“Virgin.” I whisper staring into his eyes over my shoulder. He gives me a sharp nod. He understands and slows his
movements. He can’t just slam himself into me, well he can but he’ll run the risk of rejection. If she thinks he’s going to hurt us every time she’ll reject him and it won’t matter what Mother Nature thinks.
Jake climbs on the bed behind me. I’m still watching him. He’s perfect. A shiver works its way down my spine. He kisses the top of my bottom then the base of where my tail would be if I were her right now. I feel him smile against my skin. He kisses his way up the line of my backbone then each shoulder blade. I feel his hardness against my thigh. This is it, he’s going to claim me. I push back against him and I hear a low rumble. He’s making me nervous because I thought he would be quicker about it. I feel the scrape of his teeth against my neck. No. That’s not right. I’m supposed to lose my virginity first. “Jake?”
“Shh.” I feel it more than hear it. His fingers are brushing along my slit and his knee is between my legs. I spread my legs more for him. His fingers are testing and teasing my wetness. “So wet for me Jane.” I want him to hurry up but I’m not sure if it’s because he might change his mind or if I may. A finger is inside me now and my arms shake. Why doesn’t he just get on with it? I push back against him and I feel him pull away. I look back over my shoulder. His eyes are closed and his lips pressed thin. I swallow. He doesn’t want this. I start to pull away and he grabs me. “No.” He growls and flips me over onto my back. “I don’t want it like that.” My lip quivers and I feel the prick at the back of my eyes. “No, Jane, don’t do that. Not tonight.” He inhales then exhales. What have I done? Why did I think this was a good idea? “Jane.” He says sharply getting my full attention. “When I dreamt of this moment…when I fantasized about making you mine…you weren’t on all fours. You weren’t like every other she-wolf, you were special. I want to gaze into those beautiful eyes and watch you shatter.”
