by Len Webster
AJ stared at her blank document and sighed. She had been looking at the questions for hours and wasn’t even sure how she was supposed to start. She knew that these five questions could make her stand out in a sea of MIT hopefuls. She had to ace them if she wanted to be accepted. Sighing, AJ rubbed at the kink in her shoulder, and her phone rang next to her. She picked it up, smiled when she saw Evan’s name, and answered his call.
“Hey,” she greeted as her fingers rested on the keyboard, ready to start writing her answers for MIT. Evan sighed heavily into his phone, causing her to frown. “Evan, is everything okay?”
He made a small groan. “AJ, I can’t do this.”
“What do you mean?”
“These questions! AJ, these questions are …”
She understood what he meant. She had spent so many hours perfecting her answers. It wasn’t easy. They required critical thinking. It wasn’t about having the smartest answer, it was about having the most honest answers so that Stanford—or any college—could see how far you would go to reveal yourself to them for admission.
“I’ll be right over,” she said as she got out of her chair, unplugged her laptop from its charger, and picked it up.
“Thanks, AJ,” Evan said before he hung up and she collected some of her How to Write College Essays guidebooks her mother picked up for her.
Tucking her phone into her back pocket, she walked out of her room and headed downstairs. Her parents were out with her aunt, uncle, and cousins. AJ decided not to spend the day with them since she had her admissions essays to write. Will had flown back to New York yesterday to make it in time for his New Year’s celebrations with his friends. He had asked if she wanted to go with him, but her father had forbidden it. That and she had promised to spend her New Year’s with her family at G&MC’s annual New Year’s party.
On her way out, she picked up her keys and shut the door behind her. She instantly frowned the moment the heavy snow covered her as she made her way next door. The thin cardigan she’d worn provided no protection from the winter wind. But AJ knew it was only for a short time, and she’d be inside the warm Gilmore house soon enough. When she reached Evan’s front door, she shivered as she pressed the doorbell. She glanced down at her pink hand and flexed her fingers, hoping it would warm them.
“Jesus, get inside,” Evan muttered the second he opened the door. The moment she lifted her chin, he grasped her hand, pulled her into his house, and led her upstairs to his bedroom.
AJ walked over to his bed and dumped her laptop and guidebooks on the mattress. Evan went to his en suite bathroom and returned with a white towel. She was about to ask him what he was doing, but Evan drying her hair from the wet snow had her pressing her lips tightly together.
“Wait right here,” he instructed as he stepped away from her, threw the towel into the bathroom, and headed over to his closet. He pulled out a sweatshirt she recognized and returned to her. “Arms up.”
AJ did as she was told, raising her arms and letting Evan put the gray sweatshirt over her. The moment the large sweatshirt engulfed her, she pulled her long curls out and glanced down at the cardinal red letters that spelled ‘Stanford’ on her chest.
“I bought you this for Christmas,” AJ said, staring up at his smile.
“I know. It’s my favorite sweatshirt, but you’re freezing,” he pointed out. Evan reached forward and pulled her silver oxygen necklace from under the sweatshirt. “Much better.”
“I still love your present.”
Evan’s fingers brushed across each silver atom as he whispered, “Eight protons. Eight neutrons.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said as he glanced over at his bed, and his eyebrow arched. “Seriously, AJ? All those guidebooks?”
That worry she had over Evan’s off-in-the-distance stare dissipated when he let out an unbelievable laugh. Then he sat down on his bed and picked up one of the books.
He shot her an “are you serious?” expression as she sat down next to him. “AJ, I’m not trying to get into John Hopkins,” he said, holding up the paperback AJ’s mother had picked up.
“The lady at the bookstore told Mum that it had tips for other colleges, too. She knows we’re not trying to get into med school.”
“Good,” Evan said, setting the book back down as his eyes found her. “You’d make a terrible doctor, AJ.”
She gasped. “I would not!”
Evan chuckled. “You would, too.”
“No, I’d make a great doctor.”
“AJ, I’m your best friend, and I know you. You would make a terrible doctor.”
“Why is that?” she asked, her skin feeling hot under his large sweatshirt.
“Because you hate the smell of hospitals. No patient wants their doctor fainting or throwing up on them,” he teased.
AJ’s shoulders sagged. Evan was right. There was no chance of her ever being a doctor. Not only did the smell of hospitals affect her so badly, but the idea of surgery and blood grossed her out. AJ would stick to science because playing God was not a power she should have.
“You’re right,” she said, admitting defeat. “Now can we concentrate on your college essays instead of my inability to stand in hospitals for more than two minutes?”
“Fine,” he said with a smile as he picked up her laptop and handed it to her.
AJ smiled as she took her laptop and set it to rest on her thighs. Then she opened it, logged in, and opened a new document, ready to help her best friend with his Stanford admission essays.
“What question are you struggling with the most?” she asked as she set her fingers on the keys, ready to help him brainstorm.
Evan let out a shaky exhale. “What matters to me and why?”
Lifting her focus from her screen to him, she asked, “You’re struggling with what matters to you?”
He nodded. “Yes. That’s the question I’m struggling with the most—” He paused and his eyes softened as he stared at her. “Because I don’t think Stanford should know how much you matter to me and why.”
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing came out of her.
She always knew she mattered to Evan.
But this time, it felt as if she mattered even more.
It was one of the required essay questions for their submission.
It was mandatory.
“I don’t think I could put it into words they’d understand,” he added in a gentle voice. “I’m struggling to find the words, Alexandra.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded because she understood his current turmoil.
She was struggling to find the words, too.
She said them on Christmas Day, but she knew that he believed them to be their friendship that had her saying I love you. Not that she was actually in love with her best friend.
No.
The words weren’t the problem.
It was saying them out loud and having him believe that she was.
That I am.
That I’m sure I’ll always be …
In love with Evan Gilmore.
Three days.
That was how many days of essay torture AJ had endured as she helped Evan with his college essays. And when she wasn’t helping him perfect his Stanford admission, AJ was finalizing hers for Harvard and Yale. The past three days had been a blur of questions, answers, Evan, and making sure she was home in time for dinner with her parents. Her family from New York had returned to Scarsdale yesterday, and AJ spent lunch with them before they left. It was nice spending some time with her younger cousins. She would normally see Lori and Reese once a month, but with it being her senior year, AJ didn’t have the time to go back and forth from Massachusetts to New York like she used to. But she promised her cousins that come summertime, they’d spend more time together before she left for colle
ge.
“You look exhausted,” Evan pointed out as AJ took the glass of water from him and sipped it. When she finished quenching her thirst, she handed him back the glass and returned to her laptop screen, reading over Evan’s answers once again before they submitted the application today. Soon, they wouldn’t have to worry about their Stanford admissions application. Evan’s application was amazing. Even AJ was surprised at how well he wrote, though, literature had always been one of his best subjects. She knew that with his grades, his position as their high school’s baseball captain, and his essays, he’d be a shoe-in to Stanford.
His answers were so eloquently written.
They were raw and beautiful.
All of them had her in awe of him.
She was so proud of him.
All except one essay.
The one he struggled to write. She was sure she made it worse by being around, so she told him it would be the only essay she wouldn’t read. For fear he might change his mind about who he should write about. In case there was someone out there who mattered to him more than she did. So to save herself from such disappointment, she refused to read that one essay.
“We’ve been writing and rewriting your essays,” she pointed out.
Evan sat down on his bed and set his palm on her thigh. “I know, which is why I’m telling you to go home. You’ve spent three days helping me, and you haven’t even looked at yours. AJ, they’re due in a matter of days. Go home and rest. Tomorrow, I’ll come over and help you with yours; though I doubt you’ll need help.” Then he took the laptop from her and closed it, setting it with her books. “Go home, AJ. Please.”
Sighing, she got off his bed and watched as he walked over to his desk chair and grabbed her coat. When he returned, he helped her into the thick coat and then collected all her books and laptop. AJ followed Evan as he walked her downstairs, out of his house and toward hers. Once they had climbed the steps and he had opened the door for her, they walked inside. AJ removed her coat and set it on the hook. She turned and smiled at Evan as she took her books and laptop from him.
“Thanks,” she said.
“I should be the one thanking you. If I get into any college at all, it would all be thanks to you,” he admitted.
AJ brushed her hair behind her ear. “Don’t sell yourself short. I didn’t write any of those essays. You did.”
“You helped.”
“Whatever—”
“Alexandra,” her mother said as she stepped into the entryway.
“Yeah, Mum?”
Her mother smiled. “Hey, Evan.”
“Hey, Mrs. P.”
“Alexandra, someone’s here to see you,” her mother announced.
AJ turned, confused as to who would be visiting her. “Who?”
“Your favorite grandfather,” sounded behind her mother.
AJ’s eyes widened as her grandfather from Australia stood behind her mother. “Granddad Marcus?”
Her father’s father nodded as her mother stepped aside, and he opened his arms. Evan took her laptop and books from her without asking, and she ran up to her grandfather and wrapped her arms around him. It had been almost a year since she last saw him and a year of video chats.
“Alexandra,” he whispered as he cupped the back of her head, and his arm circled around her, holding her close. “My sweet girl.”
AJ pulled back, and the tears glazed over her eyes made her sight of her grandfather blurry. “What are you doing here?”
He chuckled as he wiped her tears away. He was an older version of her father. Those green eyes were kind and full of love toward her. She was his only grandchild. And without fail, he would always call her a blessing. “I’ve missed you. And since I missed Christmas with my favorite girl in the entire world, I thought New Year’s would be nice.”
“I’ve missed you, too. Is Grandma Louise here, too?”
He nodded. “She’s in the kitchen with your father and your aunt and uncle.”
“Uncle George and Aunty Penelope are here, too?”
He nodded with a big grin on his face. “They are.” Her grandfather glanced over her shoulder. “Evan Gilmore, is that you, son?”
AJ heard footsteps behind her, and she pulled back to let her grandfather take in her best friend. She took her belongings from him so that Evan could hold out his hand to her grandfather.
“Yes, sir. It is.”
Her grandfather glanced down at Evan’s offering hand and chuckled. “Son, it’s been a long time,” he said and then wrapped his arms around AJ’s best friend. When he ended their embrace, her grandfather said, “Now, don’t be calling me sir again, all right?”
“Okay, Mr. Parker.”
AJ laughed, and Evan glared at her.
“You call my son Mr. Parker, Evan. What did I ask you to call me the last time I was here in America?”
Evan’s cheeks flared bright pink as he scratched his head. “Uhhh … Granddad Marcus?”
“That’s correct. My son, daughter-in-law, and my world”—her grandfather winked at her—“treat you like family. So you’re a part of my family, too.”
“Marcus, don’t pester the boy,” AJ’s grandmother ordered as she too stepped into the entryway. “Alexandra, just look at you.”
AJ walked up to her grandmother and kissed her cheek. “Hello, Grandma. When did you all land?”
“An hour ago. Your parents picked us up,” Grandma Louise said as she cupped her face and stared at her. “Oh, my love. Look at you. As beautiful as your mother. But you have your father’s eyes.”
“Evan, come into the living room. Tell me all about you and how you’re doing,” AJ’s grandfather said. “How is baseball?”
“Well, the Red Sox—”
Behind her, Granddad Marcus groaned. “Nah. You, Evan. Tell me about you. Not about the Red Sox or your brother. I care about your baseball. I want to hear all about you, son.”
“All right, Granddad Marcus,” Evan said with a smile in his voice.
AJ glanced over her shoulder to find her grandfather ushering her best friend toward the living room.
“Alexandra,” her grandmother said, getting her attention. “Goodness, you’ve grown up so much. Look at you. I always knew you’d turn out so beautiful, just like your mother. Clara, you and my son have done an amazing job raising my granddaughter.”
Her mother set her hand on AJ’s shoulder. “I’m pretty proud of her,” her mother said, causing AJ to smile. “Alexandra, we’re going out to dinner with everyone. Go upstairs and change. I’ll invite Evan.”
“You want Evan to come to dinner with us?”
“Of course.”
“Thanks, Mum. I won’t be too long,” she promised as she raced toward the stairs.
As she climbed them, she heard her grandmother say, “You saw the way she looks at that boy, right?” causing AJ to pause.
Her mother hummed. “I did.”
“She looks at him the way you look at my son, Clara.”
“She does.”
“And you saw the way he looks at her?”
This time her mother sighed. “I know.”
AJ pressed her lips together and climbed the rest of the stairs. She made her way into her room and headed over to her desk. She set her books down and plugged her laptop in. Her mother and grandmother’s quiet conversation had her curious. And her mother’s sigh had her on edge. But she knew the truth, knew how her best friend looked at her. Shaking her head, she refused to think too much into it and lifted her laptop open.
AJ’s heart stopped.
Her breathing lodged.
“No,” she whimpered out as she took in the alert on her screen.
AJ opened her browser to make sure she hadn’t set the alert wrong.
But it was correct.
MIT admission submissi
on closes 6 p.m.
She checked the time, and her heart sank as she realized she had missed submitting her MIT application by fourteen minutes.
23 V
vanadium
EVAN
Now
After move-in day, Evan Gilmore held hope that he would find his best friend, Alexandra Parker, and he could make up for all his wrongs.
That when he found her, he could and would fix them.
As the days passed, the memories of prom and the events after resurfaced more vividly.
His desperation had hit the breaking point, and he had written AJ the most horrible email. An email filled with so much hate and lies that he understood why she hadn’t replied to it or any of his daily apologetic emails he had sent her.
It was a lie.
He would always forgive AJ.
He was just upset.
Sent that email out of rage for her silence.
She could never hurt him the way he suspected he had hurt her.
It took weeks of not having her to talk to every day to realize just how much he missed her. How much he needed her. How much she really mattered to him.
Evan had said she mattered to him, but he had never appreciated her until he had lost her. She was somewhere other than California. She made that clear in her final phone call to him before she disconnected her number.
AJ had even said that she was proud of him, and Evan believed her.
She still sounded like his best friend, but he heard the pain in her voice.
“Gilmore!” Coach Sanders called out.
Evan raised his hand at Assistant Coach Matthews, telling him to turn off the ball machine that had been pitching to him in the batting cage for the past hour. Evan lowered his bat and removed his helmet as his coach approached him.
“Practice ended over an hour ago,” Coach Sanders said in his Texan accent.
“I know, Coach.”
“What’re you still doing here?”
Tucking his helmet under his arm, he wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Asked Coach Matthews if I could stay back and practice my batting.”
