What the Duke Desires

by Jenna Petersen

  Heat filled her cheeks as he looked up and met her gaze. Gone was the proper duke, gone was the polite gentleman. All that was left in Simon’s eyes was an animal desire to have her. All of her. She thrilled at that fact.

  “I’m going to give you such pleasure,” he promised before he dropped his mouth to the already wet outer lips of her sheath.

  When his tongue touched her so intimately, all she could do was cry out, her fists clenching against the velvety fabric of the billiard table. What was this sensation? Something so powerful, so pleasurable, so focused in that one place in her body, and yet whispers of it ricocheted to every other part of her, as if her entire being were now a sensual tool.

  His tongue probed deeper, tasting her, lapping at her like she was some kind of sweet treat. She arched into him, demanding more without words, and when he chuckled against her, the vibrations made her cry out yet again.

  He took advantage, suddenly sucking on the hardened pearl of nerves that was hidden with the folds of her flesh. She squeezed her eyes shut as a new pleasure rocked her. Something so powerful, so intense that she found herself shaking against her will as wave after wave of sensation rolled over her. It seemed to go on and on, and she cried out against it, surrendering to its power.

  Finally it subsided and she opened her eyes to find Simon still stationed between her legs, watching her.

  “Amazing,” he whispered as he straightened up. He found his waistband and unfastened his trousers. They fell away and Lillian stared.

  If she had been impressed by his upper body, she was mesmerized by the lower. Of course he had toned, narrow hips, powerful thighs and legs, and she was certain in the future she would marvel at the perfection of them.

  But for now all she could stare at was the engorged, hard length of his sex, thrusting up proudly against his stomach. In another world, on another day, she might have been afraid. After all, she was an innocent, and by surrendering herself she was facing not only rumored pain, but also a loss of any chance at the future she had been taught to desire.

  However, today, in this moment, there was no fear. No thought of those faraway consequences. There was only this man, and she wanted him. Wanted this.

  So she reached for him and drew him closer, opening herself for him as she lay back until he covered her. His hard erection rubbed her swollen, tingling entrance, but he didn’t drive forward.

  “There’s no going back once we start,” he whispered.

  She nodded. “I know. Please, Simon.”

  He shut his eyes at that low plea and then he was moving forward, fitting himself into her willing body with a gentleness that let her acclimate to the new sensations. None of which, to her surprise and delight, was pain. She had been told a few times that was what she was to expect in this moment, but instead she felt other things.

  Yes, it was strange to be filled in such a way. And there was a tiny bit of discomfort as he stretched her untried channel. But mostly it was exciting and there was a great deal of pleasure as he thrust forward and claimed her in a way no other man would ever do.

  Suddenly he stopped and that intense green gaze bore into hers. “It’s going to hurt a bit now.”

  She clenched her teeth. “Don’t stop.”

  “Relax,” he soothed just before he drove forward and broke her maidenhead.

  Whatever pain Lillian was waiting for, the twinge she felt was nothing whatsoever like it. It was a momentary burst of discomfort and then it was over.

  She shifted a little and Simon’s eyes closed with a harsh groan. “Just wait, sweet,” he murmured, and it was clear his jaw was clenched. “You’ll unman me yet if you do that.”

  Lillian’s eyes widened. She’d never considered that she could control him with her body. A swell of heady power filled her at the thought, but before she could test that concept, Simon moved and she forgot everything except the exquisite sensation of his body sliding through hers.

  What he had done to her with his mouth was one thing, and she had thoroughly enjoyed it, but this was something different. A deeper claiming, a different kind of intensity because they were face to face, looking at each other as he arched his hips deep into her and withdrew.

  His mouth descended and she melted into the sensations as they kissed, just letting the desire, the pleasure, flow around her and sweep her away. It didn’t take long for his slow, rhythmic thrusts to take her to the same place his skillful mouth had done. This time she knew what to expect as the tingling sensations of pleasure overtook her. She cried out against his lips as she lifted her hips and rode out the explosive vibrations that racked her body.

  Her pleasure seemed to stoke his own, for as she quivered and sighed around him, his thrusts grew more erratic and his breathing labored. Finally his neck strained and at the last moment he pulled away from her, turning aside to spend his seed and leaving her curiously empty that they hadn’t shared that moment together.

  Not that she didn’t understand his withdrawal. Simon had made it clear that all he wanted from her was an affair. A child would complicate things and utterly ruin her.

  That reality brought her out of her pleasurable haze and she sat up slowly, fully realizing for the first time that she had just given up her maidenhead sprawled across a billiard table like a wanton. And with a man who probably thought her surrender meant she would become his mistress as he had asked.

  With a blush, she righted her chemise and searched the floor for her wrinkled gown.

  She felt Simon watching her before she actually looked up at him with a shy smile.

  He reached for her and drew her against his still-naked body. When his arms came around her, she shivered with renewed desire and let her gown fall away.

  “Come upstairs with me,” he whispered against her hair “Stay with me tonight, Lillian.”

  She hesitated as she tilted her chin up to look at him. There was such an earnest desire in his face that she couldn’t say no. And in truth, she didn’t want to. What if when they parted the magic of this night faded? Certainly that was inevitable given what she was here to do, but she found herself reluctant for that future.

  He must have read her hesitation for far different reasons than were truth, for he cupped her chin. “I promise you, I’ll make sure no one sees you. I will not let you be publicly ruined by this.”

  She hesitated. “This doesn’t mean I’ll be your mistress,” she whispered, her voice shaking.

  There was a moment’s silence before he jerked out a nod. “Then just be my lover. Tonight.”

  Instead of answering, Lillian rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his. They kissed, just as passionate as they had been before they made love. It took a great deal of effort for her to part from him and nod shakily.

  “Yes, Simon. Take me upstairs. I’m no more ready to end this than you are.”

  Chapter 14

  Simon had had many intentions when it came to Lillian and their relationship. He wanted her in his life, so he’d certainly meant for them to make love. And somewhere deep within him, he’d guessed it would be as powerful and magnificent an experience as it had been.

  However, he had never intended to take her innocence in a public room of his house with an entire party of guests just an unlocked door away. He should have protected her far more than that, and not only because if they were caught it would force a marriage between them that neither seemed to desire.And he certainly hadn’t meant to make her first time on a billiard table while he was still half drunk. She deserved better.

  However, now, as they lay sprawled across his bed after making love a second time, with Lillian’s naked body pressed to his and her head in the crook of his shoulder, he forgot those regrets. He forgot everything except how right it felt to be with her.

  Lillian absently traced a light pattern on his bare chest with her fingertips, entirely unaware of how arousing that light, teasing touch was. And that innocence made it all the more powerful. In a few more moments he would be more than
ready to show her yet again how much he wanted her.

  She glanced up at him, hazel eyes hinting at gold in the fading firelight. “Do you want to tell me now what so troubled you when I found you in the billiard room?”

  He tensed, immediately brought back to the problems he faced. To the fact that his father wasn’t the man he believed him to be. To the realization that he had at least one unknown brother in the world and possibly more.

  Looking down at her, he pondered the question. It was a risk to reveal anything to this woman. As close as he now felt to her, they hadn’t met but a week prior. He liked to believe that she would never purposefully let his family’s secrets out into the world, but even if she accidentally whispered the truth to the wrong person…well, it could very well bring the censure of the ton down upon them.

  And while Simon hadn’t yet ruled out letting the world see what his father truly was on his own terms, he didn’t want an outsider taking that option away from him.

  But still, he ached to share his pain. Especially with this woman who had given him such pleasure.

  “I am beginning to think I didn’t truly know my father at all,” he finally said with a deep sigh as he gathered her even closer. Her warmth made some of the chilling facts he’d uncovered fade.

  “How so?” she said softly, turning her gaze away.

  He stared at the ceiling above them for a long time before he shook his head and continued.

  “How much did you know about him?”

  She hesitated before she shrugged one shoulder. “A little. Everyone knew of him, of course.”

  Simon frowned.

  “Yes, my father had a very public reputation. He was highly respected for his support of sometimes controversial acts in Parliament and his passionate defense of those less fortunate. But beyond that, he had a personal reputation, as well. People saw him as decent, above reproach in every way. Pious even. Those things gave him power to fight the righteous battle. But now…”

  He trailed off as bitterness tinged his mouth. What a lie those things had been.

  Lillian propped herself up on one elbow and stared down at him. Bright interest lit her eyes. “Now?”

  He hesitated. Not only was it dangerous to reveal the truth, in some way it still felt like a betrayal of his father. He sighed. It seemed he was willing to protect the old man even now.

  “Now”—he shrugged—“well, now I wonder if there was ever any truth to anything he taught me. And if I had known the real man, I wonder if I would have liked him.”

  She nodded slowly, and there was powerful emotion in her stare as she lay back down against him.

  “When we are children, it seems our parents can do no wrong,” she said after a long silence. “But as we get older, we recognize the complications, the humanity of them. It’s not particularly comfortable, is it?”

  He shook his head. “No. It is most definitely not.”

  Now it was she who stared straight overhead, her gaze unfocused as if she was lost in memory.

  “I thought my mother was nothing short of perfection. My father sheltered my brother and me from many of her periods of sadness, so I didn’t see how troubled she truly was. Not until she took her own life.”

  Simon flinched. It was hard for him to imagine what kind of loss this remarkable woman had suffered, both personally and then later as others began to suspect the truth and shunned her.

  “The worst part of it,” she continued softly, “was that at first I hated her for what she did. I felt betrayed that she would end her life rather than face her problems. I saw it as selfishness that she would leave her husband without a wife and her children motherless. For years I blamed her.”

  Simon rolled to his side and propped himself up to look at Lillian. Although she spoke with strength, tears sparkled in her eyes. Raw emotion lived there as well. Her vulnerability made her all the more beautiful to him, for he recognized it was a side she rarely shared with others. She put up a wall to protect herself, just as she had done with him when she first arrived here. Now he understood her reluctance to get to know him, to accept how attracted they were to each other.

  Thank God she finally had.

  “How did you overcome your anger?” he asked, taking her hand in his and looking at their interlaced fingers.

  She glanced at him sharply. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, it isn’t as if either one of us can simply talk to our parents and work out the problem that brought us such pain. Because they’re gone, it complicates things.”

  She nodded slowly. “Yes, I suppose that is true. The resolution has gone with them, leaving us with only the pain.”

  There was a long pause as she considered his question with a pondering frown.

  Finally, she whispered, “It was only recently that I truly overcame my anger when I understood her real reasons for taking her life. I suppose I transferred my rage to—to someone else…someone I blamed for her death.”

  His brow wrinkled. There was something troubled and even guilty to her expression. Something he wished he could soothe away. And yet he couldn’t, no more than he could end his own pain.

  “I doubt that will help me in my situation,” he said with another sigh. “I don’t think anyone else is responsible for my father’s actions. But perhaps I’ll one day begin to understand them and that will ease the anger and betrayal I feel at present.”

  She turned her face and he couldn’t read her tone when she whispered, “Perhaps that is true, Simon.”

  She pushed at the coverlet and moved to rise.

  “It is very late. I must return to my chamber. Gabby will already have suspicions.”

  He realized what she said was true, but he found himself reaching for her arm and pulling her back to him, nonetheless. She didn’t resist as he slid her beneath him and lowered his mouth to hers. In fact, with a sigh she instantly tilted her head to grant him greater access to her swollen lips.

  “Don’t go yet,” he murmured as he moved to nuzzle the elegant curve of her throat. “Just stay another hour.”

  As his hand cupped her breast, she let out a low moan before she nodded. “O-one more hour.”

  Glancing around the quiet, empty hallway one more time, Lillian turned the door handle and pushed, wincing as it let out a great squeak before allowing her entry to the chamber she shared with Gabby. It was dark and quiet within, and Lillian let out a sigh of relief as she closed herself in and leaned back against the wall beside the door. She was safe and fairly certain no one had seen her. Now she could only pray she could convince Gabby that…Before she could finish the thought, the harsh scrape of flint echoed from the corner of the chamber and suddenly a candle glowed to life. Holding it was Gabby, clad in her dressing gown and rising from a cushioned chair in the changing room.

  “Lillian,” she said, shaking her head as she made her way across the room. “Lillian!”

  There didn’t need to be much more said. There was enough censure in just her name to let Lillian know Gabby had been waiting for her for hours. She winced as her friend lifted the candle and examined her in its glowing light. Slowly, her friend’s mouth turned down and her eyes widened.

  “Lillian…what did you do?” she whispered as she set the candle on the closest table.

  All the emotion, all the guilt, all the confusion Lillian had felt in the past few days welled up in her and unexpected tears stung at her eyes as she fell into her friend’s waiting embrace.

  “We made love,” she admitted, her voice muffled in Gabby’s shoulder.

  “Oh, Lillian,” Gabby gasped as she guided her to the settee where they collapsed together. “You surrendered your body to him?”

  She nodded, waiting for the heat of embarrassment to flood her cheeks. To her surprise, it didn’t. Even when she thought of the passionate evening she had spent in Simon’s arms, shame was not her reaction. In fact, she quivered with pleasure and renewed desire, instead.

  Shaking off those troubling reactions, she for
ced herself to focus on Gabby.

  “I think it might be worse than that,” she said on a sigh. “I fear your earlier accusations are true. I’ve begun to involve my heart with this man.”

  Her friend drew in a sharp breath, but didn’t interrupt.

  “Tonight I forgot about his father, I forgot about my duty to my own father and my mother, I forgot everything but him. I lost myself in him. And it was…well, it was magnificent.”

  Gabby reached out to cover her hand gently. “Under any other circumstance, I would thrill over this news. But not this way. Lillian, you cannot go on like this. It’s wrong to make love to the man, to have deeper feelings for him, if you still intend to betray him and his family.”

  Lillian yanked her hands free as more guilt threatened to overwhelm her. She knew her friend was right. She got to her feet and stalked away, her mind spinning on all the events of the night, not just the ones that involved her surrender or Simon’s gentleness.

  “I-I’m not sure if betraying him is possible anymore.” She shook her head. “His father has done that already.”

  Gabby leaned away slightly. “I don’t understand.”

  “I wasn’t able to determine the specifics,” Lillian whispered. “But Simon was so upset when I found him. I’m certain he has uncovered some secret about his father that goes far deeper than mere political intrigue.”

  “And somehow that changes things for you?” her friend asked.

  Lillian squeezed her eyes shut, and an image of Simon’s broken expression tormented her. She knew what he felt, she had felt it, too. That pain. That raw betrayal.

  “It does. I came here because Simon’s father destroyed my family with no thought to the consequences. I thought to reveal him for what he was and all the evil he had done. But if I do that, the only person it will destroy is Simon. If I do that, am I any better than his father was? Am I not involving innocents just as he did?”