Lie to Me

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  “Wh... What?” Sydney touched her stomach. She felt limp like a deflated balloon. She shook her head. “Please don’t tell me you said what I think you’re saying.”

  “It’s true.” He lowered his head.

  Sydney looked at his lips move and wondered if she was imagining things. She stared at their wedding picture encased in a pewter frame. He looked normal. “But…” Sydney held her forehead. “I asked you about your parents.”

  Noah walked over and took her hand. “I don’t speak much about them.”

  A memory hit her. They had been on a hot air balloon date and she’d questioned him. “You gave me six words. Six words when I asked.” She slumped into one of the black leather chairs she had purchased online. “You said, ‘they did the best they could.’ I remember because I was shocked you only had six words to say about the people who gave you life.”

  He turned his head to face the bookshelf. “I couldn’t tell you.”

  “Not couldn’t. Wouldn’t.” Sydney gritted. “That isn’t something you should have kept from me. You know how I feel about lies and yet you lied to me.”

  “I didn’t lie to you. I wasn’t supposed to have children.”

  She tilted her head. “What do you mean you weren’t supposed to have children?” Her chest heaved.

  “I had a vasectomy… Obviously, it didn’t work. When you told me about the baby, I was relieved. Relieved and glad God gave me a miracle.”

  Her mouth popped open. “This conversation is unreal. How could you marry me and not tell me this vital information about yourself?” Count to three, Sydney. Count to three.

  “Your job is your second marriage. I didn’t think children were a priority.”

  Sydney stood. “I work hard. And yes, I didn’t imagine having children anytime soon, but this isn’t something you keep to yourself. Excuse me for taking it for granted that a baby carriage would eventually follow marriage.” She ran her hands through her curls. “After all we went through when you didn’t tell me about the Avengers and joining a white supremacist group, I would think you would have told me everything.”

  “I couldn’t risk…”

  “Risk what? Losing me?” Her hands flailed. “You must have some sick secret pleasure in lying to me.” Her chin wobbled. “Or hurting me.” Tears rolled down her face. She had married him too soon. Sydney had gotten caught up in the whirlwind called love and hadn’t taken the time to know Noah. This had to be why this was happening. Her shoulders slumped under the weight of her mistake.

  “I… I was honest with you,” she said. “There isn’t anything in my past I haven’t told you. What if this was you and I did this? How would you feel?” Her shoulders shook. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

  He faced her with a pair or sorrowful blue eyes. “On our wedding night, I dreamed about the accident. I knew then I should have told you. But I had just won you back. Matthew tortured you and somehow you forgave me. I thought telling you would be too much.”

  She pointed at him with her index finger. “Doesn’t matter. You should have told me. The truth always surfaces. No matter how we bury it under a ton of lies, it must come out.”

  He nodded. “I know.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

  “That dream on our wedding night was God showing you what you needed to do. But you disobeyed.”

  His eyes looked misty. “You’re right.” Noah clenched his fists. “I love you. I can’t lose you. I know how you feel about lies.”

  She folded her arms. “Which is why you should have been honest from the get go.” Her voice lowered. “I wondered what you meant when you said you didn’t want to go through this again. I thought you had a friend or something. I didn’t know you had experienced it firsthand.”

  Noah dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a picture. “I have a picture. It’s the only one that didn’t get damaged in the fire.” He lifted a chin and held out the picture toward her. “Here is Peter and Mary Charleston, my parents.” His hands shook.

  Sydney could see the pride reflected in his posture. She prayed for God to help her remain calm and finish this horrible conversation. A year ago, she would have stormed out, but she was a married woman. She was a mother-to-be. She had to do things differently.

  She reached for the small picture. Sydney took a first glimpse at Noah’s parents, her unborn child’s grandparents and gasped. They had the broad faces and short stature, but Mary had those piercing blue eyes.

  “How?”

  “I’ve wondered myself how I came out normal.” He groaned. “I hate the word normal, but it suits this conversation. I researched it and it’s possible, although highly unlikely, for two people with Down’s to have a child without the gene.”

  Sydney rubbed her eyes and sat back into the chair. “Wow. This is a lot you’re throwing at me.”

  Noah came over to massage her shoulders. She tensed but didn’t push him away. A part of her wanted to scream and hurl insults, but she had come too far with God to disappoint Him. She bit her lower lip and released her pain in tears.

  Noah gathered her close in his arms. “I’m sorry, honey. I have no more lies to tell. This is it. I promise. Please don’t leave me because of it.”

  Where was she going? She cried harder because she loved him. What kind of love was this that she would even consider forgiving him?

  Noah dropped to his knees and kissed her on the neck. “I love you.”

  Sydney leaned away. “Give me a minute.” She cried, “Lord, I don’t know if I can do this.”

  “No. No, honey. Please. Please.” Noah buried his head into her lap. “Don’t leave me now that you know the truth.”

  She wasn’t going to leave him, but she wasn’t going to make it easy either. Sydney lifted his chin. “You’re ashamed of your parents. Is that why you didn’t tell me?” She hiccupped. “Is that why you don’t want this child?”

  He shook his head. “I’m afraid,” he whispered. “I’m afraid of how he’ll be treated. The world can be cruel.” His shoulders shook. “You don’t know like I do.”

  Sydney sniffed. “That’s why you’re the perfect person to help me.”

  Noah moved to sit a foot away from her. Sydney felt the distance. He shook his head. “I don’t think I can.”

  18

  “Was this all a pretense, Lord? Has Lance really changed?” Belinda didn’t know what to believe anymore. Though she planned her wedding and went through all the necessary motions, doubt filled her. As she dressed that morning, Belinda felt uneasy. She wondered if Lance was doing to her what he had done to Sydney. Was karma returning to bite her in the butt?

  Belinda brushed her teeth and shook her head. Once you are forgiven, God throws every past sin in the sea of forgetfulness. But, what if Lance hadn’t been sorry? If he wasn’t repentant, then how could there be forgiveness?

  She rinsed her mouth and used the mouthwash. As she sloshed the contents in her mouth, Belinda’s thoughts wavered. She didn’t know and God wasn’t talking. “Lord, am I making a mistake marrying this man? Is this a sign that you’re telling me no?” She was too young of a Christian to know what God was thinking.

  Belinda chose a floral skirt, a coordinated pink top and matching heels. She put on her wristwatch. She had interviews to find someone to run Carmela’s Closet, but her mind was filled with her own relationship. Was she enough for Lance?

  Belinda made it to the foundation, driving on autopilot. She received a text from Sydney asking if they could meet for lunch by the marina. She texted Yes and hurried inside to conduct her interviews.

  When Belinda entered the grill at 12:30 p.m., she scanned the room for Sydney. She knew from past experience she’d find her by the window dolphin watching. Sydney would be sitting inside under the A.C. The June temperatures had been in the upper nineties since 8:30 that morning.

  Sydney waved her over. Belinda returned a small wave. It had taken close to a year for Sydney to forgive her for her affair with Lance, l
argely as a result of God and Noah. Sydney wasn’t one who handled deception well.

  “What’s going on?” Belinda asked once she arrived. Please don’t let it be the baby.

  “I think my marriage is in trouble.”

  “What? Noah loves you.” Belinda couldn’t fathom that. To her, Noah and Sydney were the epitome of a pastor and first lady.

  “I know he loves me. But, he doesn’t love our baby. He doesn’t want me to have this baby.”

  “Have you spoken to Gramps?” Belinda asked. The waitress brought a huge platter of fries, mozzarella sticks and two juicy burgers. Her stomach growled. She was so glad Sydney had ordered their favorites. This was their staple every time they came here.

  “No. I didn’t think to do that.”

  “Don’t you think you should? I mean Gramps knows him better than anyone, except God.”

  “I guess.” Sydney looked unsure.

  Sydney wiped her eyes with a napkin and made a concerted effort to compose herself. “I took a leave of absence from my job today. I can’t go through this ordeal and give my cases my full attention.”

  “Really?” Belinda was shocked. Sydney had never taken time off from her job. Not even when Lance bailed on their wedding. Sydney was back at work the following Monday. “What did Noah say?”

  “I haven’t told him.”

  “What?” Another shocker, and perhaps the most telling clue that her marriage was indeed on shaky grounds. No way. She wasn’t having this. Belinda wiped her hands and took Sydney’s hands. “Bow your head. We’re going to pray.” She closed her eyes. “Lord, my pastor and his wife—my best friend—are in trouble. Lord, help them. Don’t let the devil win, please. I beg you. Work things out for them and mend all the hurt and pain. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  She opened her eyes to see Sydney’s wide-eyed expression. “What?” Belinda picked up her burger and took a big bite. She wasn’t counting calories. However, if she kept this up, she would gain weight and be too big to her wedding dress. The one she had yet to find.

  “That was a good prayer.” Sydney hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “You’ve come a long way. Thanks for praying. I appreciate that.”

  Belinda patted Sydney on the back. She felt a little embarrassed because she knew her prayer was simple. However, she believed God had heard and an answer was on the way. She was glad to see her friend doing their tasty lunch some justice. “How’s the baby? Did you take that test? I forgot what it’s called.”

  “No, I didn’t. I decided to leave the outcome in God’s hands. I’m through worrying about it. Whether I know or not, it’s not going to change my decision. I’m going to love my child no matter what, even if I have to do it alone.” Her fierce response didn’t go unnoticed.

  “Is that what motherhood does?” Belinda was amazed.

  Sydney shrugged. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing much. Just dress hunting.” Belinda didn’t want to sully their conversation with talks of Lance and his stalker problems. She doubted her friend would want to hear more about that.

  “Oh, I forgot to mention, my mom is pregnant.”

  Belinda’s eyes popped open. “Oh my… Are you pulling my leg?”

  “No, I wish I were. I’m trying to be happy for her, but…”

  “With your own situation…” Belinda filled in.

  Sydney nodded.

  Belinda had no idea what to say. “Well, I know Janine must be shocked and scared. I would be if I were her age.”

  Sydney cracked up. “Girl, I forgot just how much I love your bluntness. Actually, she looked beautiful.”

  Belinda saw her wistful smile. “So do you. Pregnancy agrees with you.” She changed topics. “So, how is Portia handling your sudden departure?”

  “She cried, but she understood and even encouraged me.”

  “And, is she now busy job hunting? Cause I know how devoted she is to you.” Belinda secretly hoped so. Portia was a serious contender as Sydney’s new best friend, having stolen her maid-of-honor spot at Sydney and Noah’s wedding.

  “Oh, no. Portia is too much of a commodity for the firm to let her go. I hooked her up with Nathaniel Lyons, a new associate at our firm. Belinda, let me tell you, that man is fine and easy on the eyes. You should see him this Saturday at church. I invited him. He is gorgeous.”

  Belinda saw Sydney’s light blush and frowned. Was another man creeping in on Noah’s turf? Saturday couldn’t come fast enough for her. She needed to see what Noah was up against. With eyes pinned on Sydney, she said, “Well, I’m sure he’s got nothing on Noah. Noah is supermodel fine.”

  Sydney picked up a fry and chewed. Her lack of response made Belinda scrunch her nose.

  Belinda knew trouble was coming. She could feel it, though she feared she may be powerless to stop it from brewing.

  After concluding their Bible study and prayer later that evening, she shared her concerns with Lance as they sat in his living room. “Bells, leave it alone,” Lance advised. “Don’t let your imagination run wild with this one. Sydney isn’t a cheater, and she and Noah are in love. Every marriage has struggles. I’m sure they’ll sort things out soon. The best thing you can do is stay out of it.”

  “I won’t.” Belinda lifted her chin. “We women aren’t like you men. We don’t just sit around when we know something is wrong. Sydney is my best friend. I plan to help her.”

  “I don’t think you should interfere in their marriage. Don’t you have our wedding to plan? Our wedding should be your focus instead of plotting and planning to meddle in other people’s business.” Lance frowned. “We need to go to the justice of peace. I want to make love to you. I need you as my wife, like yesterday.” He pinned her with a look filled with longing.

  Belinda knew that look. She felt her insides stir and jumped to her feet. It was time to bid him good night and make a hasty retreat. Lance was too quick for her. He pulled her into a light embrace.

  “I miss you,” Lance whispered. “I want you.”

  She wanted him too, but Belinda knew better than to voice that. Her skin warmed. She had a flashback of their other times together before they were born-again believers. “We can’t,” Belinda whispered back. “September isn’t far off. I promise you it will be worth your wait.”

  “This is the longest I’ve ever gone without it,” Lance groaned. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.” His hands roamed her body. He placed tiny kisses along her ear and cheek.

  “Are you going to cheat on me, then?”

  He froze at her question.

  Lance flung her from him. “Go home, Belinda,” he ordered and stalked into his bedroom.

  Belinda rubbed her arms feeling empty and cold. She hadn’t meant to anger Lance with her response. She’d spoken her fears aloud. She knew it hurt him. Belinda lowered her head to her chin and walked toward the door.

  She couldn’t leave like that. She went into Lance’s bedroom.

  Lance lay on his bed, looking up at the ceiling.

  Belinda walked over to him. He ignored her. “Lance.”

  He didn’t answer. She moved to touch him. He jerked away. “Lance, I’m sorry. I spoke without thinking.” Belinda walked to the other side of the bed and lay next to him. She reached for his hand, clasping it in hers.

  “I wish you would trust me. Besides God, you’re all I need. I know my past isn’t desirable. But, I’ve changed. I deserve a clean slate.” Lance’s eyes remained fixed to the ceiling.

  Belinda nodded. “I love you so much it makes me vulnerable. I’ve never felt this open toward anyone, and it’s downright scary.”

  In a quick move, Lance turned and gave Belinda a searing kiss. Heat scorched their bodies. Her raw emotions outweighed her good sense. Belinda felt Lance’s hands and mouth and turned toward him. She touched his head. “Oh, Lance.”

  Being in Lance’s new bed, made her remember her suspicions about Monica. “Did you speak to your father yet?”

  Belinda knew brin
ging up his father was a sore topic. It had taken Lance months before he revealed his father’s identity and shared his heartbreaking upbringing at the hands of Monty Clarendon. Belinda had been floored, but she knew his father had a lot to do with Lance’s behavior.

  “I told you, I don’t want to talk to that man. Besides, why are you so fixated on Monica? I threw her out when I found out she’d lied to me about Quinn being my child. I mean, only a cold-hearted woman would deceive a man like that.” Lance got up from the bed.

  “Well, I don’t agree with you throwing a mother out with her child. But, I always knew Monica was after you. I just can’t believe you went there. When you and Sydney were dating, she would stare at you and made sure to sit next to you. It was creepy. I warned Sydney, but she didn’t listen to me. Said I was too cynical.”

  “Well, at the time I was sort of flattered. Besides…”

  “Don’t say it.” Belinda sat up, holding both hands up to deter him. She didn’t know why men loved to sleep with crazy women, but she had a good idea. “I don’t want to think of you two together.”

  Lance walked over to the edge of the bed where she sat “You’re the best I’ve ever had. No worries there, Belinda.” He held out his hands and tugged her to her feet.

  “I’m not,” she said, aware of her skills. “Now, back to what I was saying. The last I knew of Monica, she was working as personal chef for your father.”

  “When did you learn that?”

  “I looked him up on the internet. I wanted to learn more about the great Pastor Monty Clarendon. I read several articles on him. Then, I came across a Home & Garden magazine that showed pictures of his palatial mansion in Atlanta. There happened to be a brief mention of Monica Riley as his executive chef.”

  “That seems a little too convenient.” Lance put his hand on his chin. “My father is obsessed with knowing my every move. I wish he would leave me alone.” Lance held Belinda’s shoulders. His eyes held fear.