Hollywood Bound

by Morticia Knight

  We can talk later. It’ll be all right now.

  Jack closed his eyes, and drifted off to the rhythm of Nick’s breathing.

  * * * *

  The weekend was almost at an end, and even though he and Nick still hadn’t talked about the other night, things had been going really well with them. The morning after their big fight and rough sex session, Trixie had come by to make sure Jack was okay. When she’d looked past the doorway and seen the upturned chair, and their clothing strewn about, she’d winked at Jack and said she was sure everything was just ‘peachy keen’.

  Then Nick had taken him to breakfast for the pancakes he loved so much, and afterwards, they’d taken the Red Car trolley out to Santa Monica Pier. Jack had ridden on the enormous carousel that showcased dozens of colourful and intricately carved horses. A calliope jingled endlessly as the ride turned around and around, the beasts on the brass poles frozen for all time in mid-gait, some with astoundingly fierce expressions. Jack rode it three times. No amount of persuasion could get Nick to join him. He insisted that he’d lose his pancakes if he was forced to endure it.

  The beach had been wonderful. Even though it was still hot and the sun was blazing, there was a big difference in the temperature by the sea. Cooler breezes blew off the ocean, and Jack let his toes sink deeper and deeper in the gritty shoreline sand, cooling his feet, and allowing the sensation of the tide pulling in and out to hypnotise him. Back home that night, they’d made love over and over, slow and fierce. Nick had devoured every possible inch of Jack’s body with his mouth. It was like being worshipped the way Nick had taken him. Jack had slept peacefully, the sound of the ocean still in his ears, the sensation of drifting back and forth from the water’s movement lulling him to sleep.

  Sunday had been even better. Nick had taken him to the picture show to see the new Roman Pasquale movie, Dark Gypsy. It was a thrilling romance adventure, where Roman’s character as the gypsy kidnapped a beautiful young girl and whisked her away. Pursued by her family and the law, the lovers faced danger at every turn. Of course, the girl fell madly in love with her virile captor, and she was the only one who could persuade anyone that she wished to stay with him, and was no longer being held against her will. But there was a tragic turn at the end where they believed everything would be okay, but he was shot and killed by her angry father. Jack couldn’t stop crying, but he still begged Nick to let them stay and see it again.

  However, the best part of the entire weekend was that they never once went out to a gin joint or party, and Nick didn’t touch one drop of alcohol. It was just the way things had been before.

  It was going back to work the next day that brought up a problem for Jack. When Trixie had checked on him Saturday morning, she’d also whispered to him that filming for the Global picture would be a week from Monday, and that she’d bring a car by to drive her and Jack to the location. After all that had gone on, he’d never told Nick about the movie he had a small part in. Or that Trixie would be in it too.

  Why should I feel so guilty? I just haven’t wanted to ruin our good time together this weekend by getting Nick upset.

  “Come on, Jack. Let’s get goin’. We don’t wanna be late.”

  There was a hard line on Nick’s brow, and Jack could tell that the happy mood the weekend’s activities and closeness had fostered was disappearing. Jack’s stomach flip-flopped a little. He didn’t dare bring up the movie now. It would have to wait until later.

  Nick couldn’t control the bile rising in his throat as they walked the few blocks to the front gate of the studio. But he swallowed it down.

  Is today the day? Or do I have until the end of the week?

  A part of him wished that it was all over with. That Wilson would just fire him, he could confess to Jack and they could figure out their next move. Together. As partners. He cringed at the thought.

  It’s too risky. Jack would never forgive me.

  But was going any further with Wilson any kind of solution? Nick shuddered.

  “You okay, Nick? You’re ain’t comin’ down with the chills or nothin’ are ya? You’ve been so quiet all mornin’.”

  “Nah, Jacky boy. I’m just worn out from ridin’ your fine ass all weekend.”

  Jack’s jaw dropped. “I can’t believe you just said that!”

  “Well, you bring out the naughty in me.”

  Jack had a big grin on his face, and Nick was momentarily distracted from the loathsome prospect of facing Wilson. They waved at the guard as they went through the gates, and made their way to their respective spots. Jack would be in the soundstage with the other guys, and Nick would be doing his penance out on the back lot in the heat and the sun.

  Nick clapped Jack on the shoulder, the only type of touch he dared at the studio, and headed to his doom.

  It was part of their arrangement that Nick would report to Wilson’s office every Monday morning for his ‘assignment’ that week. Sometimes Nick was let off the hook if actual work issues came up and Wilson had to do his job instead of diddling the hired hands. Nick prayed for those days.

  Nick rapped on the door, the five knocks Wilson had told him to use.

  “Come in!”

  Nick pulled the door open, and almost ran right into the back of another man also dressed in overalls. This guy was a big oaf—about six and a half feet tall—he towered over Nick’s height of six feet. He was also built like a lumberjack with wide shoulders and burly arms. He had hair that was almost white, and light blue eyes. Obviously, Wilson had just taken on another worker and Nick had accidentally interrupted.

  “Sorry, I can come back la…”

  “My dear Nick, come right in. I have someone I want you to meet. This is Hans. He’s just arrived here from Sweden, and I’ve offered him a job under one condition.”

  Uh-oh.

  “Since you won’t let me bust you open, Hans said he’d be glad to do it for me.”

  Nick swallowed hard. Wilson leant back with a self-satisfied grin on his face. Hans stood there calmly as if it was normal to stand around and discuss fucking a complete stranger in front of your potential new boss.

  Nick felt a little dizzy, and for once it wasn’t the booze.

  “I’m not sure I understand…”

  “Oh, I’m quite sure you do, Nick. Despite all your other faults, being dumb isn’t one of them. So what’s it going to be? Hans or my not-so-little toy?”

  Hans bent down to him and said under his breath, “Might have to suck me a while. It take more time to get hard with other man watching.”

  Nick rolled his eyes. “Good to know. Thanks.”

  This is a fucking nightmare.

  “Mr Wilson, please, I thought you said I had until this week. That was Friday. I still need some time to think. Besides, if I don’t come through by Friday, you’d a gotten a whole free week of work outta me and Jack.”

  Wilson sat there, seemingly pondering what Nick had just said.

  “Like I said, Nick, you ain’t so dumb. All right, you get till Friday. But I’m done playin’ games. Since Hans here needs a job now, I’ll just have him get schooled by me this week instead of you.”

  Oh thank God.

  “If that’s all, then I’d best be gettin’ to work.”

  Nick turned to go, and Hans slapped his meaty paw on Nick’s shoulder.

  “Hold on. I thought guy was going to suck me so I could mount him like woman?”

  Beads of sweat broke out on Nick’s forehead. If this beast of a man decided he wanted to mount him like woman, Nick wasn’t so sure either he or Wilson would be able to stop him.

  “Calm down, Hans. You’re getting the job. Just as long as you do everything I say. Right, Nick?”

  “Right, Mr Wilson.”

  He tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. Hans reluctantly let his hand slide off Nick’s shoulder, and Nick’s breath came out in a relieved sigh.

  Without another word, Nick quickly left the shack of an office.

  That was close
. Too close.

  Now to figure out what to do about Friday.

  Jack helped José paint away on the enormous scenery flats outside in the shade of the soundstage. As it turned out, Jack’s experience at the Broadway theatre had helped him tremendously. There were plenty of guys who could wield a hammer and nail with practised skill, but not as many who could paint realistic backgrounds. José was on a ladder painting clouds against a beautiful blue sky. Jack laughed to himself at how José would steal glances upward at the real sky as if it were modelling for him. Jack was down below on the dirt, touching up some areas near the bottom.

  One of the other workers, Peter, came by to mess with Jack. He knew that was the case, since that was all the guy had been doing ever since he’d tried to insist that Nick buy him a drink that first night at The Silver Star. Jack assumed it was because Nick was in so good with the boss, and Peter was jealous. The annoying man kept going on and on about how as Nick was getting paid so much more, Jack should be getting lots of gifts from his boyfriend.

  It was obvious they all knew about him and Jack, but since there were so many gay guys—as Trixie had called them—in Hollywood, other than taunting him, they hadn’t picked a fight. He was pretty sure if he and Nick had been together like they were now back in New York, it would’ve been the same. But things had been much different with them back then.

  “Hey, sunshine, where’s your squeeze? Oh, that’s right, he’s being punished. I forgot. Didn’t he suck Wilson’s cock good enough last week?”

  A couple of the other guys heard Peter, and stopped what they were doing, wandering over in case something good happened.

  Jack sighed, and tried to ignore him.

  Peter grabbed him by his shirt—the first time he’d ever physically touched him.

  “I said, didn’t he suck the boss’ cock good enough!”

  “I heard you,” Jack snarled. “And I’m sicka tellin’ you he ain’t doin’ no nasty stuff. Nick is workin’ a special project with him.”

  At least that was what Nick had always said when Jack queried him as to why he went to Wilson’s office so much. He’d said the same thing he had so many times over the years. ‘Don’t worry about it, Jacky boy.’

  Jack suddenly had a churning in his gut that hadn’t been there before. Many times when Nick had said that, there really had been something to worry about, and Nick hadn’t wanted to upset him.

  Peter guffawed, still holding onto Jack.

  “Oh, I’m sure he’s in there right now working with Mr Wilson to see how far the boss can get his asshole to stretch!”

  The other guys, who had gathered around, burst in to riotous laughter. Some bent over, clutching their middles, and others slapped their knees. Jack’s face felt flushed—anger building inside him.

  Just then, a hammer thumped in the dirt, landing right next to Peter, missing him by less than a couple of inches. Peter let go of Jack by pushing him roughly away, and looked up to see the source of the dropping tool.

  “Lo siento.”

  Jack tilted his head back, and saw José glaring down at Peter. He didn’t look one bit sorry. José must have taken the hammer that most of them toted around in the loop of their dungarees, and tossed it down. It was obvious to everyone that it was intentional, since José was on the ladder painting, not hammering.

  “Why, you filthy Mexican, I’m gonna kill you the moment you step down here, so I guess you better plan on spending the night up there!”

  Peter shook a fist at José, and the other guys yelled encouragement to him—‘kill the bastard’, ‘show him, Peter’, ‘fuck him up real good’.

  The loud commotion brought Bernie from the other end of the long building.

  “Hey! What’s going on here? Are we working, or do I have to bring Mr Wilson over?”

  Everyone knew that Bernie’s threat meant that one more infraction, and someone got fired. The men shut up immediately.

  “Ah, he ain’t worth it.” Peter sneered up at José.

  Peter squinted at Jack and growled, “You’re next, kid. Your boyfriend ain’t here to protect you all the time.”

  Jack watched them all turn and walk away, grumbling under their breath as they did. Bernie yelled up at José as he walked over to Jack.

  “José! Take a break.” He pointed. “Go to my shack. No one will bother you there.”

  José climbed down, and nodded his head slightly to Bernie.

  “Gracias, señor.”

  José spoke very little English, and Jack didn’t speak any Spanish, so he just smiled at him as he passed by. Once José had moved a little farther on, Bernie turned to Jack.

  “Was that all about what I thought it was?”

  Jack frowned.

  “Why are they always buggin’ me about Nick?”

  “Well, you know, he, uh…he’s important to Mr Wilson, so they’re just jealous. Guys are like that.”

  “But why is Nick so important? All he ever tells me is not to worry about it.”

  “I think that’s a good idea. You should probably do what he says.”

  Jack’s fury began to build again. He was so tired of it. He was Nick’s lover, his partner—not some kid to be ordered around all the time.

  “I ain’t no child! I know somethin’ ain’t right, and I wanna know what it is!”

  “Goddamn, Jack, keep your voice down. You’re gonna bring those guys over here again.”

  “I don’t care. I wanna know now.”

  “Okay, calm down, kid…”

  “And I ain’t no kid either.”

  “Fine. But this here’s work, and I’m the foreman. You do a great job, and I’m glad I took you on. However, I’m not gonna get involved in talking about what is going on between Nick and Wilson. That’s for him to tell you.”

  “There’s somethin’ goin’ on between Nick and Mr Wilson?”

  Was Nick actually falling for Mr Wilson? Is that why he was over there with him all the time, why he drank so much when he was with Jack?

  “Oh no, oh, Jesus, no. Is he in love with Mr Wilson?”

  Bernie snorted. “Fuck, no! Look, ki…I mean, Jack, it’s hard to explain. I really think Nick should be the one to tell you.”

  Jack could see a pained expression on Bernie’s face. As his direct supervisor, Bernie had actually been all right. He’d even gone out of his way to be friendly and helpful to Jack by telling him about some of the tricks of the trade.

  “Look. Whatever Nick says, there’s one thing I do know—he really cares about you.”

  Bernie clasped his shoulder gently and walked away. Something unnamable crept into Jack’s thoughts. There were things he knew about now that he’d never thought of before they’d come to Hollywood. He’d never said anything to Nick, but he was sure that Trixie’s late-night ‘appointments’ and lavish gifts all had to do with her being with men she didn’t want to be with. Men who promised to help her. So many people had whispered to him on their nights out that they could get him into the picture business if he would only do this producer or that director some ‘favours’. They’d told him he was just the right type, that he had the perfect look. They’d promised him sure cash and fame. Even Trixie had offered that when she’d had them over at her house that night.

  A heavy gloom washed over Jack. Something in his heart told him that Nick had done something dirty to get them their jobs. It had been too easy the way Wilson had instantly taken them over the other men who were already there. And now Nick was back there in the work area right next to Wilson, and God only knew what he might doing with him at that very moment. Never had Jack thought Nick would be capable of such a thing. It was like Jack didn’t know him anymore.

  Oh God. The other workers know. And so does Bernie. Everyone knows.

  Nausea roiled in his stomach, and he ran around to the side of building, retching on the scrubby weeds that were clustered there. Bent over, he supported himself with his hands on his knees. He gasped for air, his throat scratchy, his middle sore. He we
nt over to the jug that held water, and poured himself a cup. He drank down the lukewarm liquid and looked up at the sky. It was always a beautiful blue, with the sun shining down on everyone in Hollywood. But it was make-believe, just like the pictures that were filmed there. And like so many others who had sacrificed everything to get close to celluloid glory, there was nothing sunny in Jack’s world anymore.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nick could sense immediately that something was very, very wrong. Jack wouldn’t even look him in the eye on their walk back home, and he had ignored him, saying nothing and marching off ahead of Nick as if he preferred to be alone. It was obvious that something very bad had happened to him on the job that day.

  “Jack, slow down. I can tell somethin’s botherin’ you. Wait, I wanna help.”

  He stopped so suddenly that Nick, in his forward momentum, almost ran Jack over.

  Jack whipped around to face Nick, and jabbed a finger in his chest.

  “Haven’t you helped enough already?”

  Jack turned back and continued his trek towards their motel.

  Fuck.

  Nick found himself shaking uncontrollably, fear gripping his heart. He hurried to keep up with Jack, to not let him get away, but his legs were so wobbly it was hard to move quickly. Sheer will propelled him forward. He had to get to Jack, had to make everything right again.

  I’ll do anything. Please, God, don’t let him hate me.

  “Wait! Jack!”

  His lover picked up his pace and ran. When he got to the motel, he forcefully pushed open the door, and right as Nick reached the doorway, he saw Jack sprint up the stairs.