Hollywood Bound

by Morticia Knight

  I’d give anything for a fucking glass of gin right now.

  Jack burst in the door, his cheeks flushed. He seemed to be overly excited about something.

  “Hey, Jacky boy.”

  Nick took a final drag on his cigarette, and stubbed it out in the glass ashtray that had seen much use from present and previous tenants. Nick placed the ashtray back on the dresser, and considered Jack. He had a gleam in his eye.

  “I have some great news, Nick.”

  Jack leaned against the door.

  “We have to get our going out shirts on. Are they dry? What about our slacks? Did we ever wash those?”

  “Jesus, Jack. Slow down. You know we ain’t got no cleanin’ money. And we sure as hell don’t got no goin’ out money neither.”

  “Dammit.”

  Nick could see Jack was puzzling over something.

  “Trixie might be able to hook us up there too.”

  Jack was talking out loud, but it seemed like it was more to himself than to Nick.

  “Okay Jack. What’s goin’ on. This one a your movie things?”

  “Actually, he’s a lawyer. And he’s very rich. He does all the contracts and stuff for Global Studios.”

  Oh shit.

  “This better not be what you was talkin’ about the other day. I ain’t foolin’ around with you in front a some perv.”

  “Fifty dollars, Nick. Fifty dollars. It’s just him, no other guy. He doesn’t touch us, we don’t touch him. We stay an hour, maybe two. That’s it.”

  Nick’s knees were a little weak. He went over to their bed, and sat down. Jack came over and sat with him.

  “Trixie’ll be there too. She can go in with us if we want.”

  Nick turned to him, completely confused.

  “Why would she go in with us?”

  “She told me that a lotta guys like men, but are married with kids and everythin’. She said they get urges for guys, but won’t have relations with them. They don’t want no one knowin’ they might be gay, or maybe they aren’t sure, so this is a compromise or somethin’. Anyway, the only way they can satisfy their urges is to watch other men do it together.”

  “Okay, I can see that. But I don’t get the part with Trixie.”

  “Oh, right. She got this whole idea in the first place cuz one a her girlfriends does this with her gay friends. They work as a team and make lotsa money. You see, the fella payin’ for it don’t want no guy touchin’ him, but a girl is okay.”

  Nick shook his head.

  “Just when I thought I’d heard everythin’.”

  Jack put his hand on Nick’s arm.

  “I wanna do this, Nick. I want to help this time. You and me together.”

  Nick couldn’t chase the feelings of dread away, even as he contemplated going through with Jack’s plan. In reality, the line had forever been crossed once Nick had put his lips on Ricky’s cock back in the alley many weeks before. At least this time he wouldn’t be degrading himself with a stranger, and Jack would never have to do that either.

  If I do this with him, then maybe it will prevent him from going out on his own and doing it. He seems pretty determined.

  In some twisted way, Nick thought it might even strengthen their bond.

  “Nick? Whaddya say?”

  “What’ll we wear? Our nice clothes are dirty.”

  Jack threw his arms around Nick’s neck and hugged him tight.

  “Things’ll work out Nick. I just know it. Let’s go to Trixie’s. She said she’d help out with anythin’ we needed.”

  * * * *

  “You fellas are drivin’ me nuts over here. This jacket is too tight for yous, and too big for yous. Fuck it. Who needs a jacket? It’s not like you’re goin’ to see the Queen, right? Let’s just get you boys into somethin’ halfway decent. Ooh, Nicky, those are swell trousers on you—hotsy-totsy!”

  “Don’t call me, Nicky.”

  “Why not? I like Nicky.”

  “I don’t.”

  Jack laughed and jumped in to the conversation.

  “He prefers ‘Grumpy’.”

  Nick had to admit that he was feeling a little better about everything since they’d arrived at Trixie’s. She had that way about her where she pulled him into her whirlwind and refused to let go. The gin she’d poured for them hadn’t hurt either. He would need some liquid courage if he were to make it through the night.

  She fussed some more, and finally achieved the look she desired for them both. She was still dressed in a pearl satin robe trimmed in wispy lavender feathers. She ran a comb through her hair. Now that she was poised on the edge of stardom, every little thing about her was being dictated by the studio. If they wanted her hair cut a certain way, she followed their orders. Her current look mimicked Louise Brooks, another auburn-haired looker at a competing studio. So it was important that Trixie emulate the cool sophistication that Miss Brooks exuded.

  “Okay boys, let’s have a couple more drinks, and finish gettin’ ready. I gotta brand new dress for tonight to celebrate an’ everythin’.”

  “Celebrate?”

  Nick couldn’t believe he’d just heard her correctly.

  “Oh yeah. This is a big deal for us. Until I become rich and famous, I gotta keep bringin’ in the dough, you got me? And so do you twos. This is a much better scene for me. I ain’t gotta screw a whole buncha guys at once, or be filmed doin’ it, or nothin’ like that. I just suck on one guy’s dick while you twos do it to each other. I call that a promotion!”

  She went into a fit of musical giggles, Jack still watching her with the awe he’d had for her since the first night they’d met. Nick couldn’t help but feel a little sad for her.

  I guess I should feel sad for me and Jack too.

  Nick made a promise to himself in that moment. He would do this with Jack until he found a better option. This was just a temporary setback. Something else would come their way.

  “Anyone want any joy powder?”

  She looked at them expectantly, and it occurred to Nick what she was talking about.

  “No thanks Trixie. Remember, just booze for us.”

  “Suit yourself honey. I thought yous might be ready to try somethin’ with a little more kick to it for tonight, if you knows what I mean.”

  She winked at them.

  “Whaddya mean more kick?”

  Nick elbowed Jack. He didn’t want him getting any crazy ideas.

  “Let’s just say I can go on and on forever with it. And it helps with the sex stuff too. ’Specially for boys. You won’t have ta worry about no dick problems.”

  “Oh, that kinda kick,” said Jack.

  “I tell ya what, one little sniff each, just to try it. A little bit ain’t gonna hurt ya none. If yous decide it ain’t for ya, then no big deal.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Trixie left the room, presumably to get her stash.

  Nick grabbed Jack’s arm. “No, Jack. Don’t.”

  Jack frowned.

  “It’s just a little bit. Just for tonight. And anyway, it ain’t hurt Trixie none, and she uses it all the time. It ain’t no different than coffee. Just stronger, like ten cups at once.”

  “What? What makes you think it’s like coffee?”

  “Trixie said.”

  Nick closed his eyes in resignation.

  Trixie said.

  She popped back into the room, a little golden box in her hand. She had a very tiny silver spoon, and she set everything down on her black lacquer table inlaid with abalone and coral. She knelt on the throw pillows next to the low piece of furniture, and opened the container holding the cocaine. Jack looked fascinated with everything she was doing, and Nick felt queasy. The night was getting out of control, and they hadn’t even left Trixie’s place yet. Who knew what awaited them.

  “Here, it’s already been cut. I only get the highest-grade powder. I got connections, you knows. So, to start you fellas off, I’m gonna put just a tiny bit—no
t even half—in this spoon here, and I’ll show yas how ta take it.”

  She put in a smidgeon of the drug as she’d described, held it under one nostril, pinched the other, and inhaled with quick force. She threw her head back as if in ecstasy.

  “Woo! We are gonna have some fun tonight boys!”

  She wiped her nose and handed Jack the mini utensil. He seemed eager, but Nick needed to make one last plea.

  “Are you sure, Jacky boy?”

  Jack had never seemed more like a child in need of protection as he did in that moment.

  “Yeah Nick. I’m sure.”

  He copied every action Trixie had done, but when he inhaled, he sputtered, and grabbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

  “Ah! It burns.”

  “Shit Jack.” Nick grabbed for him, but Trixie just laughed and patted his back.

  “You’ll get used ta the rush honey.”

  “Oh hell. It’s intense. Wow.”

  Nick looked back and forth between the two. He was anxious, wondering if Jack’s reaction was normal.

  “Okay sugar, it’s your turn.”

  Trixie held the spoon out to him. He didn’t want to do it. But he didn’t want to leave Jack to flail in the dark on some mysterious journey. He knew the logic of that was off, but they were already doing something that night Nick had never thought he’d agree to, and he wanted to be with Jack all the way with this as well. And if it helped them to get through what was coming, then all the better.

  “Just this once.”

  “Atta boy!” chirped Trixie.

  Jack smiled at him in an almost manic way.

  “I’m ready for anythin’, Nick. We’re gonna blow the socks off this rich guy tonight, right, Trixie?”

  She clapped her hands, giddy with laughter.

  “You said it, honey. Except I’ll be doin’ the blowin’!”

  Jack roared with laughter in a way Nick had never seen him do. It was like someone had just uncorked him, and he was free for the first time.

  Nick was mesmerised by the scene unfolding in front of him. Jack and Trixie acted as though they were having the best time of their lives, laughing at the funniest jokes, having more fun than anyone had ever had.

  “Hey,” said Nick, “gimme some.”

  “Look, Jack, he’s joinin’ the party. Do a quick toot, and I’ll bring my vial to Charlie’s place. We can do a round before we go in, so’s we’ll be really ready for some action.”

  Nick did what he’d seen Jack and Trixie do. His eyes watered the second he sniffed the powder in.

  God, there really is a burn.

  Bitterness trickled down his throat, and he tried not to choke on the rancid taste. But then there was a rising wave, and it carried Nick with it. For a brief moment he thought it would crest, then smash him back to the ground.

  He must have looked strange because Trixie snapped her fingers in front of his face.

  “You okay sweetie? I don’t wantya goin’ nuts on me over here. Charlie’d have a fit.”

  Jack was still laughing, but he caught his breath and grabbed Nick’s face between his hands.

  “You okay, Nick?”

  Nick forced himself to focus on Jack. Once he did, he was hypnotised by how remarkable Jack looked.

  He is absolutely stunning.

  Nick took a hold of Jack’s wrists, and pulled them away from his face without letting go. He leant forward and captured Jack’s mouth with his. He pushed his way in with his tongue, lost in Jack’s taste and smell. Everything was more pronounced, and Nick became so entranced by Jack’s essence, that he was on the wave again, and everything else fell away.

  He was ready to go farther, deeper into all that was Jack, when Jack abruptly pulled away.

  “Not yet. We have to wait until we get to Charlie’s, remember?”

  “Wow, fellas, that was some hot stuff. But ya gotta save it for Charlie, he’s the guy with the dough, remember? All I got is booze and coke. Wait. Now that’ya mention it—I might be even better!”

  With that Jack and Trixie howled some more. Nick didn’t feel giddy the way they did, but he was pretty sure he could fuck Jack all night without stopping. At least Trixie had been right about that.

  * * * *

  Most of what had happened that night was blurred for Nick. When he’d asked Jack about it later, he’d said the same. After they’d had another drink ‘to balance out’, as Trixie had put it, they’d finished getting dressed. Whilst they had waited for her to emerge from her bedroom, Nick had noted that the alcohol had evened him out. He’d no longer felt like a runaway freight train, and Jack had seemed less hysterical.

  Nick had held Jack’s hand as they’d sat on the loveseat together. He’d stroked the top of it with his thumb, and squeezed it once as Trixie had re-emerged dressed in her swanky new dress. She had outdone herself. Long loose strands of sparkling rhinestones had shimmied over a black satin sheath that was held up by matching straps. A black headband had circled her head, and a large twinkling brooch had been pinned to one side, a small peacock feather secured behind it. She’d worn shimmering white stockings, and her shoes had been black with matching rhinestone buckles. Rouge had tinted her high cheekbones and false eyelashes had curled up to frame her blue eyeshadow. The final touch had been the cherry-coloured lipstick accentuating her bow-shaped lips. Nick had to admit she was a real Sheba.

  They had ridden to the lawyer’s house in a cab, and the combination of his own nerves and the coke had Nick feeling like he was about to jump out of his skin. He’d had the bizarre urge to just try to peel it off and free himself from it. Jack’s knee had kept jittering up and down, and it seemed he couldn’t sit still.

  Nick had leaned over to Trixie.

  “I think it’s wearing off or somethin’. I feel different now. But not a good different.”

  She had whispered back to him, “I know, honey, that’s why I brought the vial. It’s like that. Nothin’ good lasts forever, ya know?”

  And so the night had progressed. Nick had realised in that moment that the drug Trixie relied on owned her. Her ability to party, talk up strangers and charm the people who could help her career was all a direct result of her constant intake of cocaine. He hadn’t judged her. She was hardly alone in doing it. And hadn’t he done the very same thing the other night with Jack? He could excuse it over and over, saying they needed it because of what they were doing, but that didn’t change the fact that they were headed down a dangerous path.

  Nick kept playing what he could remember of the other night over and over in his head.

  When they’d arrived at Charlie’s large mansion, the first thing that had occurred to Nick was that he’d thought this lawyer had a family. As it turned out, they were all back east visiting his wife’s parents, but he had begged off because of work. That meant he had a month’s worth of free time to indulge in whatever debaucheries he chose. It helped that he’d dismissed the servants for the night.

  Nick didn’t even know the guy’s last name, and had been glad that he didn’t. The whole night had been surreal. Nick had felt like a zoo exhibit. Charlie kept walking around him and Jack like they were prize cattle. He’d licked his lips, and was so close as he circled them, Nick panicked, thinking it might all be a trick, that the lawyer was going to touch them. But he hadn’t. Trixie had put her arm through his, and whispered in his ear. He’d smiled, and handed her some bills that she tucked in her little handbag.

  Then there had been talk of getting ready, which amounted to Charlie repairing to his study, sitting on the settee and unbuttoning his pants. There had been an area set up about five feet in front of where he’d sat that had included a small round table, and a chaise longue covered with a blanket. Nick had soon discovered that they were props for the show he and Jack would be putting on. Once the three of them had taken another snort each of the joy powder, they had been ready to get started.

  The only awkward moment had been when they’d all disrobed. Even the effects o
f the drug and drink hadn’t completely blotted out that he’d been undressing in front of a friend, and that she had been naked in front of them whilst fellating someone.

  I can’t believe that’s the part that stood out to me.

  The rest had been a haze of unbridled lust and wantonness with Jack. It was if Charlie and Trixie hadn’t existed. Which was just the way Nick had hoped it would be. He couldn’t honestly say if he would have felt the same had they not been so drugged. Much later, when he and Jack had arrived back at their room, they had been much too exhausted to even discuss what had happened. They’d slept half the next day away, and once they’d bought some much-needed coffee and cigarettes with their newly acquired wealth, they’d grabbed a Yellow Car and ridden up to Griffith Park. It was part of the same hills that housed the Hollywoodland sign, and they’d been told it had nature trails and provided a sanctuary from the hustle of the city.

  Nick lay back on the bed as he remembered that day at the park. It had been uncomfortable at first. They would never be the same. At last Jack had spoken, and Nick held Jack’s words close to his heart.

  “We’re in this together Nick. I can never say I did somethin’ cuz of you, and you can never say you did it cuz of me. All we’re doin’ is what we need to do to support our family.”

  Family.

  Charlie had requested the three of them again over the weekend, and had paid double for them to stay longer. As much as he detested that they were using the coke, he knew without a doubt he wouldn’t have been able to keep on fucking over and over without it.

  It was now Monday. Exactly one week since Jack had found out about him and Wilson. A week since Nick was sure he’d lost Jack forever. And here he was lying in their room waiting for Jack to return from his big day of filming. He planned to take Jack out to dinner that night. He wanted them to go back to the little Italian place down the street where they’d celebrated their beginnings in Hollywood.

  Nick must have dozed off, because it was dark when he heard the key turn in the lock. He was a little disoriented, and leaned on one elbow to see better.

  “Jack?”

  “Sorry Nick. I didn’t mean to wake you.”