Attie shook her head and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. He smelled like leather and hay and it soothed her broken heart. He always seemed to know what she needed. She leaned into him and they watched the sun set in silence.
“You have to tell him, Attie. He’s going to notice when you go back.”
“I know. I just don’t know what to say.”
“Tell him the truth.”
“I don’t think he can love me, Uncle Jed. I did a terrible thing when I blamed him for what happened. How can he forgive me for that?”
“Noah is a good man. You can’t take the decision away from him. No matter what choice he makes, it has to be his. You owe it to him to tell him he’s going to be a father.”
“That’s the problem. What if he wants to do the right thing and marry me for the baby’s sake? Noah is an honorable man. He’ll do the right thing for the wrong reasons.”
Jed hugged her close. “You can say no.”
Attie smiled sadly as the sun disappeared behind the mountain. “That’s the other problem. I don’t want to say no.”
“That’s quite a dilemma you have there. Think maybe you should be discussing this with Noah?”
“I’m scared,” she whispered, surprised she didn’t stumble on the words. They weren’t easy for her to say. Admitting weakness was something she was working on. Laura was continuously telling her that talking about her feelings was a sign of strength and not weakness.
“We all are when it comes to putting our hearts on the line. Either way, you always have a home to come home to.”
Attie burst into tears and cried on Jed’s shoulder. She had done a lot of that since her release from the hospital. Laura told her it was a normal part of healing. Attie blamed it on the pregnancy when she burst into tears over the smallest things, but she no longer saw it as a weakness. Tears cleansed the soul and eased the pain.
“You know, Attie, you thought you lost Noah once and I’ve never seen you back away from something you wanted. I’d hate to see you lose him again.”
Attie wiped her nose and dried her eyes. “What should I do?” When it came to matters of the heart she was clueless.
“Invite him over for dinner. I’ll make my chili so if things go south he’ll go home with a black eye and heartburn.”
Attie laughed, thinking that sounded like a great idea. She’d never had a man over for dinner, so why not? But what did she know about being a hostess? What did it matter? She wanted to see Noah and Jed was right, Noah deserved the truth. “Okay. I’ll call him in the morning.”
“Good girl. I was about to run into town for some supplies. Want to tag along?”
“No thanks, I think I’ll soak in a warm bath and go to bed.”
“Good idea. Rest is good for you and the little one.”
Attie kissed his cheek and rose to her feet. This child was going to be spoiled rotten if Jed had his way.
A baby. Who would have thought? She was still adjusting to it. At the door she said, “Thanks, Uncle Jed,” and disappeared inside. She heard his old truck lumber down the drive a few minutes later and went upstairs to run a bath. She poured rose scented bath salts in the water and stripped out of her clothes. A bath would calm her nerves.
* * * *
Well, that didn’t exactly work. Her bath was supposed to soothe her nerves, but she was uptight and nervous about the phone call she had to make tomorrow. Fear of the unknown was the worst. She wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep tonight. Jed was right. Once Laura approved her return to ATCOM, Noah was bound to notice her swollen belly. She had never run from anything in her life and she wasn’t going to start now. Noah didn’t deserve that from her.
Feeling only minimally better, she wrapped in a silky robe and brushed the tangles out of her hair. A knock at the front door startled her.
Frowning, Attie put her brush down and glanced at the Sig laying on her nightstand. Then shook her head. Old habits die hard. She left it lying there and made her way downstairs. She was just about to open the door when it burst open and a man charged through.
Attie gasped and stopped dead in her tracks.
“Noah,” she breathed, half in disbelief and half in pleasure. He looked like hell, his hair longer than she’d ever seen it and in disarray. He wore faded jeans and a threadbare t-shirt. There were circles under his eyes and a muscle clenched in his unshaven jaw. He’d never looked sexier.
He stopped when he saw her and she saw something burning in his eyes that ignited a fire inside her. He was on a mission.
He stalked slowly toward her. Unsure what to do with this mood of his, she stood her ground.
“I can’t do it,” he growled. “I can’t let you go.”
Before she could respond, Noah swung her into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers. Attie melted against him and kissed him back with all the emotion she had kept bottled for a month. When Noah lifted his head, he was breathing heavily.
“I’m making you a promise to replace bad memories with good ones. Let me give you a lifetime of good memories. I love you.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “I love you too, Noah, and you are the only one I trust to fulfill that promise. But first, I have to tell you something. Lots of somethings.”
“It doesn’t matter. The past is the past, we can forget it.”
Attie covered his mouth with her hand. “Would you just listen to me for a second? I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry.”
Noah went still and she knew she had his full attention.
She removed her hand. “I’m sorry for blaming you. You were right. I was running from the truth. I couldn’t see it then, but I do now.” She cupped his unshaven jaw. “If you hadn’t sent Seth in, I would be dead too. You saved my life, and I thank you.”
Noah kissed her hand. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”
The emotion in his voice made her love him more than she’d ever thought possible. He hid it well, but underneath that tough exterior was a man of strong emotion. She loved that man.
“But you did. You were there for me when I needed you. I never would have made it through that maze if you hadn’t been there.”
“Yes, you would have.”
She smiled. “Thanks, but that’s not what I meant. I need you, in my life, in my bed. I made a mistake once and almost lost you. I don’t want to do it again. Can you forgive me?”
He wrapped her in his arms and held her close.
She gripped him tight, never wanting to let go. This was where she belonged.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” he said softly. “You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You made me realize what I’ve been missing in my life.”
“Me too.” She leaned back to look up at him. “This is really strange, isn’t it?”
Noah smiled and she melted.
“Strange, but right. We belong together.”
“There’s so much I have yet to tell you. About Santiago and what happened while I was undercover.” She swallowed. This was still hard to talk about. “The rest of the stuff that wasn’t in my reports.”
Noah stiffened, then relaxed. “I want to know everything. But not right now. Right now I want you and me naked in bed. The rest can wait. We have the rest of our lives for that.”
Just like that, all of her fears evaporated. When she looked into the tranquil blue of Noah’s eyes, she knew everything had been forgiven. The past no longer lingered between them. She was finally, completely free.
Except for one thing…
They smiled at each other in silent understanding and Attie leaned up to whisper in Noah’s ear, knowing it was time to tell him about the dream and their daughter.
The Rock did something he’d never done before.
He crumbled right in front of her eyes. Tears welled up in his eyes and his hand shook as he cupped her cheek.
“Our daughter?” he repeated in awe.
Attie nodded
and smiled when he dropped to a knee, rested a hand on her belly and stared at her as if seeing her for the first time.
“This is the beginning,” he said softly.
“Yes.”
His hand shook as he stood and laced his fingers through hers. When he looked at her it was with love and tenderness.
“Let’s go make some good memories.”
Epilogue
Rain fell softly on the roof of the log cabin nestled in the mountainside. It was a warm night and the two people cooking dinner in the kitchen hardly noticed as they talked and laughed together.
Attie glanced at her husband in his frilly white apron as he sautéed chicken in a wok on the stove. The scent of ginger and spices filled the kitchen and drew a smile from her lips. She hadn’t known when she married this handsome former Navy SEAL that he was a gourmet cook. She was caught by a sense of déjà vu that made her a little melancholy.
Love and pride filled her as she watched his lips moving as he told her about the new student they had at the academy; a woman who was stirring the pot and making life difficult for the male students. Attie liked her already.
She had returned to ATCOM but not as an agent. As an instructor for second year students, teaching survival techniques and relaying her experience as a prisoner to teach them about being held captive. She used her experience to help them understand what it took to survive captivity. Although she missed fieldwork, she left it to the others and chose to stay home with her daughter instead of risk her life. That was the best decision she had made besides marrying Noah and sharing her past with him.
They spent many nights talking quietly in bed about the past. Noah listened silently while she told him all of her secrets about what Carlos had done to her while undercover. She shared with him about the nights he came into her bedroom to bring her gifts and the sadistic things he did to employees and her. Told him about the men she saw murdered and the terror she felt while she was there. Noah would hold her and let her cry in his arms as she purged the past and laid it to rest once and for all. He was her rock. Without him she never would have been able to make it through everything she had. And now she understood what love was and it was standing right beside her in a frilly white apron.
Noah glanced over and raised a brow when he saw she wasn’t cutting up the vegetables for the salad any longer. She smiled and laid the knife down and reached in front of him to turn off the stove. Noah was grinning now.
“What do you say we go make a few more happy memories,” Attie said, wrapping her arms around his waist and untying the apron. She threw it on the counter and tipped her head up for his kiss.
When they pulled apart, both were breathing heavily.
“I say dinner can wait,” Noah murmured, lifting her into his arms.
Attie smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. Noah took a step and stopped when a soft cry came through the baby monitor sitting beside the sink. They looked at each other and smiled.
“I think our daughter has other plans,” Attie murmured.
Noah kissed her as he carried her up the stairs and into the nursery. He sat her down inside the door and together they crept to the crib where a beautiful baby girl stared up at them with big blue eyes.
“Shall we?” Noah asked quietly.
Attie nodded and reached above the crib to turn on the CD player. Soft, classical music—courtesy of Camron—filled the pastel colored room as Noah picked up their daughter. He propped her on his shoulder and opened his other arm to Attie. She stepped into his embrace and was immediately enclosed in his warmth. With Juliana sandwiched between them they swayed to the music while staring into each other’s eyes. The baby yawned, cooed and rested her head on Noah’s shoulder. It wasn’t long before her eyes closed and she drifted to sleep wrapped safely in her parent’s arms. This was how she would always sleep, safe and surrounded by her parents love.
“I love you,” Attie whispered.
Noah smiled. “I love you.”
They continued to sway together long after Juliana had fallen asleep, building a memory that would last a lifetime…
The End
Jennifer Lowery
Jennifer Lowery grew up reading romance novels in the back of her math book and on the bus to school, and never wanted to be anything but a writer. Her summers were spent sitting at the kitchen table with her sisters spinning tales of romance and intrigue and always with a tall glass of ice tea at their side.
Today, Jennifer is living that dream and she couldn’t be happier to share her passion with her readers. She loves everything there is about romance. Her stories feature alpha heroes who meet their match with strong, independent heroines. She believes that happily ever after is only the beginning of her stories. And the road to that happy ending is paved with action, adventure, and romance. As her characters find out when they face danger, overcome fears, and are forced to look deep within themselves to discover love.
Jennifer lives in Michigan with her husband and two children. When she isn’t writing she enjoys reading and spending time with her family.
Jennifer’s Website
www.jenniferloweryauthor.com
Jennifer’s Reader Email
[email protected]
Other books by Jennifer Lowery:
To purchase it, please click here: Hard Core
To purchase it, please click here: Murphy’s Law
To purchase it, please click here: Hard To Handle
To purchase it, please click here: A SEAL’s Song
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