When We Fall

by E. L. Todd

  Hopefully I wouldn’t need to worry about that anymore after tonight.

  I headed to the door then reached for the knob. Then I remembered I didn’t live there anymore and I had to knock. Ugh, it was the most annoying thing, knocking on my own damn door.

  Skye opened it wearing a black dress with flats. Her hair was straight and over one shoulder. Her blue eyes sparkled like gems.

  She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

  “Hi…” She eyed the bottle in my hands. “You brought something.”

  That snapped me back to reality. “Apple cider—so you can drink it.” I handed it over.

  “Oh…thank you.” She smiled slightly but it seemed forced. “Come in.”

  I gritted my teeth. It rubbed me the wrong way that I had to be invited into my own house. “Thank you for having me.” I usually launched into an account about my innocence and undying love for her but I decided to lay off until I knew the purpose of this dinner.

  We entered the dining room where the food was already sitting on the table.

  “You’re always on time,” Skye explained. “Punctual.” She sat down then poured two glasses of cider.

  “It’s good manners.” I eyed the meal set before me. There was pot roast with vegetables along with rolls. I hadn’t had a home cooked meal in so long. There were so many things that I missed about marriage, and I forgot how nice it was to have someone cook for me. I hardly ate anything living in that apartment alone.

  Skye ate her food quietly, taking small bites and eating much slower than usual.

  “This is really good,” I said. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” She kept eating and didn’t make conversation.

  Why did she invite me over? What did she want to talk about? Were we getting back together? Please tell me we’re getting back together. The thing I missed most about Skye was sleeping with her. I’d shared a bed with her long before we were married and I missed cuddling. She usually slept on my chest. Without her there, it didn’t feel right. Maybe we would do that tonight—and every night after that.

  I didn’t want to get my hopes up but that was difficult. It was the one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world. Actually, I needed it—desperately. A man without his family was no man at all.

  We continued to eat until the plates were clear. Throughout that entire time, not a word was said. It was usually tense when we were alone together, but now it was especially awkward. I didn’t want to make the first move until I knew what she wanted.

  “That was the best meal I’ve had in a long time,” I said.

  “I’m sure you eat out every day,” she teased.

  “I prefer your cooking any day.”

  She kept her eyes averted and blushed slightly.

  I poured another glass of cider and drank it because I had nothing else to do. Did I totally misread her? Was this a date? Maybe this was a date. Well, that wouldn’t make any sense. She would have said something to me. God, the mind games were killing me.

  “I’m sure you’re wondering why I invited you over…”

  Yes. “A little. But, I’m very happy having dinner whatever the reason may be.”

  She cleared the plates on the table before she set them on the counter near the sink. Then she came back to the table where only the cider sat. Our glasses were full but neither one of us took a drink. “There’s something I’d like to say…”

  Please. Please. Please.

  Take me back.

  I love you.

  Let me come home.

  “I’m listening.”

  She rested her hands on the table and fidgeted with her fingers, what she usually did when she was nervous. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. In fact, that’s all I ever do nowadays. We’ve had our problems because of what happened, and while I’m angry at you for what you did…there’s a lot more there.”

  It was happening.

  She was giving me another chance.

  Thank god.

  “I know I shouldn’t trust you anymore, but I know you would never do something like that here. It’s just not you.”

  Thank you. About time someone said it.

  “And we are having a baby together. Raising a child between two separate households is difficult…”

  And unnecessary.

  “And in the end, I still love you.”

  My heart picked up and it wouldn’t slow down. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and I felt the emotion creep into my eyes. I missed her so much and I was finally getting her back. My wife. My everything. “I love you so much, Skye.” I reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “I’ve been so miserable without you. I miss you.”

  She didn’t pull away. “After what you did, I shouldn’t give you another chance. I know I shouldn’t. But…we have a baby on the way and you were in difficult circumstances. Everything isn’t in black and white like it usually is.”

  She still thought I betrayed her, but if she was taking me back I could convince her down the road. All I cared about was getting back into this house with my wife and child.

  “But…I’d like to try.”

  I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it. I closed my eyes and felt the tears emerge. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.” I cherished the moment because I didn’t think it would come to pass for the longest time. I was finally getting my life back. Slade said Skye only needed time before she came back to me. I was so glad he was right.

  “But, there’s something else.”

  My daydream disappeared at the tone of her voice. I opened my eyes and looked at her, her hand still in mine. She was going to make some kind of demand in exchange. It would probably be something unnecessary, like syncing my phone to hers so she could see all my calls and text messages. She probably wanted the password to all my emails and accounts. She might even want a GPS on my phone so she could see where I was at any time of day. While these measures were excessive, I didn’t care. If that were what she wanted, I’d give it to her. I had nothing to hide anyway. “Whatever you want, baby.”

  She didn’t flinch at the use of the nickname, but she pulled her hand away. “The thing that bothers me most about all of this is the fact you lied to me. We all do things we regret but…lying about it is unacceptable.”

  Where was she going with this?

  “I will give this marriage another chance if you tell me the truth, Cayson. I want to know exactly what happened, how many times it happened, and why it happened at all.”

  My heart stopped.

  “Unless you do that, then this will never work.”

  “You’re giving me an ultimatum?” I asked incredulously.

  “Yes.” She didn’t blink as she held my gaze. “Confess or we’re done.”

  Of all the demands I expected her to make, that wasn’t one of them. The easy thing to do would be lie. I could just tell her something happened with Laura. I may as well since she thought I did it anyway. While it wasn’t on the terms I wanted, I would get my wife back and we could be together again. I could move back in and stay there forever. It was exactly what I wanted—more than anything.

  But could I lie?

  I was basically being given a plea bargain. If I took it, I could get what I wanted. But that would force me to confess to a crime I never committed. Could I really do that?

  But I wanted Skye. That’s all I wanted. Nothing else mattered.

  But could I live the rest of my life letting her think I’d actually betrayed her?

  Fuck, what do I do?

  Skye kept watching me. “Cayson, what will it be?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat as I made my decision. “I want to confess.”

  She released a sigh like she was relieved. All of this was finally behind us and we could move forward.

  “I met Laura at the beginning of the journey. She was a bit standoffish and harsh. I just assumed she distrustful and even a little arrogant. Now when I think about it in retrospe
ct, I think she’s a nutcase.

  “She stayed in the tent with me because the other men on the team had less than chivalrous thoughts toward her. As a married man, she thought I was harmless and I assured her I was.”

  Skye kept listening with guarded eyes.

  “She started asking questions about you, and when I told her what you did for a living and showed her a picture of you it was clear she didn’t approve of you. Apparently, I was too good for you because you were just a suit.

  “From that point onward it was a little strained. I didn’t like her much, and I couldn’t tell if she liked me. Then she started asking me more questions about my life, my thoughts and opinions of foreign policy. We finally came to a place where we were friends. I thought of her as a sister, like my relationship with Silke and Trinity. There was finally a sense of camaraderie between us.

  “That night, I was dreaming of you when she kissed me. The second I knew what was happening, I grabbed her by the wrist and threw her out of my tent. I said a lot of things I never thought I’d say to another living person.”

  Skye’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

  “We didn’t speak for three weeks, and I was grateful she stayed away from me. I told her I was married, and happily married. The fact she took something that didn’t belong to her enraged me. And I vowed to kill her if I lost you over this. She finally apologized to me but I told her she could die in a ditch and I wouldn’t care. Shortly after that, the men started to move in on her. I intervened and protected her even though I shouldn’t have. Then I invited her back into my tent because I didn’t know how else to keep her safe.

  “We spent the rest of the journey as friends and she didn’t make another move after that. We finished the mission and returned to London. When she came to say goodbye to me, she slipped the note into my bag. The last interaction I had with her was when I shook her hand and said goodbye.”

  Skye’s eyebrows furrowed in irritation, and she pressed her lips tightly together.

  “I didn’t do it, Skye. That was my confession. That was exactly what happened—word for word. While I love you and want to be with you again, I’m not willing to sacrifice the pure love I have for you just to get you back. I’m not willing to let you believe that I would ever do something like that to you.”

  She stared at me coldly.

  “You seriously don’t believe me?”

  “No.”

  I released a sigh and stopped myself from flipping the table over.

  “If you aren’t going to admit what you did, then the offer is no longer on the table.”

  “Skye.” I wanted to scream in her face. “Why wouldn’t I just confess if I knew you would take me back? Why would I keep lying and torturing myself? This is proof enough that I didn’t do it. Do you have any idea how much I miss you? How much I want to be with you? I’m going crazy, Skye. Believe me, I want to take the easy way out. But I can’t confess to something I didn’t do.”

  Skye stood up. “You should go.”

  “Skye.” I jumped to my feet. “Come on.”

  “If you’re going to keep lying to me, then there’s no possibility of us ever having a relationship again. I’m divorcing you.”

  My blood ran cold. “What did you just say to me?”

  She turned to me, the determination in her eyes. “I’m divorcing you, Cayson.”

  “No, you aren’t.” I gripped her by the wrist and kept her close to me. “Skye, I didn’t do it. I’m not lying. How many times do I have to say that?”

  She twisted from my grasp. “I don’t even know you anymore.”

  “We aren’t getting a divorce. That’s final.”

  “When someone wants to break up, you break up,” she hissed.

  “Not in a marriage.” I got in her face because I couldn’t control my anger. “I will never give you a divorce. Do you understand me? I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen. I will literally make it impossible for you.”

  “So, I get punished because you couldn’t control yourself?”

  “No, I’m not punishing you. I’m keeping us together because we belong together.”

  “If we belonged together none of this would have happened.”

  I came over here hoping to be reunited with my wife but I got something much worse instead. “You’re my soul mate, Skye. You know I didn’t do it. Forget about that stupid letter and think with that big brain of yours. Think, goddammit.”

  Skye headed to the door. “Get out of my house.”

  “Our house.”

  She opened the door. ‘Go.”

  “Skye—”

  “I gave you an opportunity to be honest with me so we can move on.” Her eyes started to water. “But you won’t even give me that. How can I ever be with someone that I can’t trust? I never can.”

  Why was this happening to me? “Skye, I’ll swear on anything I didn’t do it.”

  She held her hand to my face. “I’m sick of hearing this. Just go.”

  “But I didn’t do it. Why wouldn’t I just confess a second ago? That makes no fucking sense, Skye.”

  She shoved me hard in the chest. “Get out of my house.”

  I stumbled back slightly. “Skye, be reasonable here. You aren’t thinking clearly.”

  “No, I’m thinking clearly now.” She gave me a disappointed look before she slammed the door in my face. The warm light from the house disappeared, and the fragrant smell of the dinner we just had faded away. Now I was stuck in the dark, alone and afraid.

  Chapter Six

  Trinity

  My life was pretty hectic right now.

  I was worried about my brother, who just got dumped in the worst way imaginable. My best friend might get back together with her cheating ex. And I still wasn’t pregnant.

  Those three things were constantly on my mind and I couldn’t shake them. Work was difficult to get through because I couldn’t focus. My mind was elsewhere most of the time.

  Around lunchtime, Slade stopped by for a visit. “Pizza?” He leaned over the desk and gave me a kiss.

  “Sure. Whatever.” I released an automatic sigh.

  Slade watched my face like he was taking in his newest tattoo. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. “You mean, what’s right? Conrad is off the deep in, Skye might take Cayson back even though she’s way too good for him, and I’m still not pregnant.” I slammed my hand down on the desk. “My whole world is upside down right now. I really want to run into that stupid bitch Lexie so I can break her neck.”

  Slade rubbed the back of his neck like he was irritated, but then he abruptly froze like he realized something. “Wait. Skye and Cayson are getting back together?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Yes!” He fist-pumped the air then did a quick dance. “I knew it. I knew it would work out. I knew she would finally believe him.”

  “Believe him?” I asked. “She knows he did it. But she also knows how difficult it would be to leave him when they’re married and have a baby on the way.”

  “That’s a good thing, Trinity. They should be together.”

  I gave him a meaningful look. “What did we agree on?”

  “Oh yeah…nevermind.”

  “And Conrad…he was so in love with Lexie. I can only imagine how he must feel.”

  “When he comes back, we’ll be there for him. Like everything else we’ve gone through in our lives, we’ll be there for each other. Don’t stress about it.”

  How could I not? “I’ve peed on a hundred sticks and they all say the same thing. What’s the hold up?”

  He hung his head low. “Trinity, just give it more time. I already said—”

  “It’s been two months. It shouldn’t take this long.”

  “Baby, chill.”

  “No, I want to see a physician.” I needed professional help. If there was something wrong, I needed to know now.

  “Unnecessary. Did you know that it takes six
months for eighty percent of couples to get pregnant?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “How did you know that?”

  “I’ve done my research, Trinity. And sixty percent of couples get pregnant at three months. You know how many get pregnant within our current timeframe?”

  I didn’t have a clue.

  “Thirty percent.”

  That was actually pretty low.

  “My point is, you need to chill out.” Slade crossed his arms over his chest.

  That did make me feel a little better. “I still want to see a doctor. Maybe there’s something we can do to speed things along.”

  “What’s the rush?” he asked. “I really enjoy trying to get you pregnant. Baby, that’s the best part.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Like you don’t love it.”

  “I do. Of course I do. But wouldn’t you rather have sex when I’m pregnant?”

  He shrugged in response.

  “Skye told me it drove Cayson wild.”

  “Well, Cayson has always been into weird shit. Come on, he likes Skye of all people.”

  I ignored his words. “I’m going to make an appointment. That’s final.”

  Slade didn’t argue despite the irritation in his eyes.

  A part of me didn’t want to go through with it. What if there was something wrong with me? Something wrong with him? Something wrong with both of us?

  Chapter Seven

  Slade

  Trinity wanted to see a specialist because I wasn’t getting her pregnant quick enough. I knew there was nothing wrong with either one of us. That woman was just used to instant gratification and she didn’t have any patience. She built an empire on her own because she made things happen.

  But this was out of her control.

  I wanted to have a baby too but I wasn’t eager to seek professional help. I could get my wife pregnant on my own. The last thing I needed was a professional looking into my sex life. Trinity was on the same birth control for nearly ten years. Something that strong and prolonged was likely to mess up her cycle.

  Why didn’t she understand that?