When We Fall

by E. L. Todd

  It was a sweet deal.

  The nicest thing about moving was how time-consuming it was. Trinity was so busy decorating the place and moving the furniture in that she hadn’t mentioned our baby problem. She said she wanted to see a specialist and get everything checked out, but I’d been stalling as long as possible. There was nothing wrong with Trinity and I. We didn’t need to see a doctor.

  My wife was just impatient.

  Maybe she would forget about it altogether and I would knock her up in the meantime. Then it would solve all our problems.

  I’d been particularly depressed lately because of Cayson. The poor guy was fed to the hounds. They ripped him apart and crushed his soul. He was hardly the same person anymore. The man I knew never gave up on everything. He pushed forward until he got his way.

  But now he’d given up.

  Everything was a dead-end and there was no solution. Nothing Cayson did or said worked. Honestly, I didn’t blame him for throwing in the towel. I was starting to resent Skye for being so stupid. She ruined a perfect man. How could she do that?

  When I came home from work, Trinity was already there. She was sitting on the couch near the windows reading a magazine.

  “Baby, I’m home.” I loved our new place because it was so sleek. It was a longer walk from work but it was worth the distance.

  “Hey.” She tossed the magazine aside and stood up to kiss me.

  “How’s my lady?” I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck.

  “Much better now that you’re home.” She tilted her head to give more access to her skin.

  My hand migrated down to her ass and I squeezed it. “Your husband always makes everything better.”

  “He does.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a slow kiss.

  Like always, my cock came to life. My hand moved under her dress and felt the fabric of her lacy thong. Her ass was hard and defined and it had such a nice curve to it.

  Trinity broke the kiss and stepped away. “We need to talk.”

  Instantly, my cock was limp. I hated hearing those words. “Can we talk later?”

  “We have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow afternoon.”

  Ugh, I thought this was dropped. “Trinity, you’re overreacting.”

  “We have health insurance so we may as well use it. If everything is fine, then you can tease me and say I told you so.”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s such a waste of time. Just be patient.”

  “Why are you so adverse to going?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you afraid there is something wrong and you’re trying to avoid it?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I come on your tits all the time. Do you see how much it is? And how white it is? Baby, I have nothing to worry about.”

  “Well, I’m worried about me. So, let’s do it.”

  I wanted to protest but I didn’t see the point. Trinity would get her way. She always got her way.

  “Now we can have sex.” She moved into my chest and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  I stepped away. “Sorry, I’m not in the mood anymore.”

  An alarmed look spread across her face because I never said anything like that. “What?”

  “I’m going to practice my guitar.” I walked off without saying another word.

  “Slade?”

  I didn’t turn around.

  “Get your ass back here.”

  I stopped even though I didn’t want to. “What?”

  “What’s wrong? You really don’t want to get tested that badly?”

  “I’m just…not in a good mood.” I stormed off and entered my man cave. All my instruments were there waiting for me. I put on my headphones then started to play. Like I hoped, Trinity didn’t walk inside.

  ***

  After a few hours, I left my man cave and entered the kitchen. I was hungry and in search of dinner. Trinity was sitting at the table with her plate half eaten. She was typing on her phone like she was texting someone.

  I opened the fridge and found the plate she saved for me. After I warmed it up in the microwave I sat across from her and ate.

  Trinity put down her phone and stared at me.

  I didn’t meet her gaze and concentrated on my food.

  “What’s bothering you, Slade?”

  “Nothing.” My mouth was full of spaghetti.

  “Yes, there is. What is it?”

  “Cayson…”

  She dropped her gaze in pain. “I know…it’s hard.”

  “He said he was going to sign the divorce papers.”

  She didn’t seem surprised. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

  “No, it’s not. Laura ruined their lives. Actually, Skye did. I feel so bad for him.”

  “I do too…I feel terrible for both of them.”

  I finished my food in under two minutes. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “Sure.”

  We fell silent as we stared at each other.

  “Slade, I know there’s something else…”

  I averted my gaze.

  “Is it the doctor’s visit?”

  Trinity wanted a baby so much and I feared there really was something wrong with us. I knew it wasn’t me. I was healthy as a horse and my sperm was always flowing. If there was something wrong, I had a feeling it would be Trinity. She might be barren. Most of the time, the women are responsible for infertility, not men.

  What if that were the case with us? What if Trinity couldn’t have children? She would be totally devastated. There was nothing she wanted more than this. What if she couldn’t have it? I didn’t want to see my wife in that kind of pain. Any time she hurt, I hurt.

  Trinity rested her hand on top of mine. “Slade, if there is something wrong we’ll get through it. I promise.”

  I nodded.

  “As long as we have each other, we’ll be okay.”

  “I know, baby.” My thumb moved across her knuckles.

  “Now let’s not worry about it. We can try making a baby instead.”

  It was the first time I smiled that night. “That sounds like fun.”

  ***

  We waited outside the doctor’s office until he was ready for us. We were at some snazzy clinic in Manhattan. The place was enormous and sterile. The walls were pristine white and the chairs were too comfortable.

  I held Trinity’s hand to keep her calm. I hoped everything was okay. I would love her no matter what, but I knew she would hate herself if she couldn’t give me children.

  I didn’t want that to happen.

  The doctor finally called our name and we entered his large office. There was a large couch facing his desk, and Trinity and I took a seat side-by side. After we made our introductions, the interrogation began.

  “How long have you been trying?” Dr. Ridley asked.

  “Three months,” Trinity answered. “That’s a long time, right? Too long?” Panic escaped her voice.

  “Not necessarily,” Dr. Ridley said. “Every couple is different. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

  Trinity relaxed slightly.

  I kept my arm around her and tried to comfort her.

  “The only real way for me to give you an answer is if I run some tests. Is that okay with you?”

  “Whatever you need,” Trinity said.

  Dr. Ridley explained the procedure for each of us. Trinity would be given a pelvic exam along with a swab test. I, on the other hand, had a completely different kind of test.

  “You want me to jerk off into a cup?” Was this a joke?

  Trinity shot me a glare. “Watch the language.”

  “What?” I asked. “That’s what he said.”

  Dr. Ridley didn’t look embarrassed. “It’s little uncomfortable but it’s necessary.”

  “I don’t masturbate,” I blurted. “I haven’t in…” I couldn’t even recall the last time.

  “He doesn’t need to know that,” Trinity hissed. “Just do it, Slade.”

  “Hey, you try jerking off i
nto a cup,” I said defensively.

  “There are magazines and videos in the room,” Dr. Ridley said.

  “You want me to jerk off in a room where hundreds of other guys have jerked off? I think I’ll pass…”

  “Slade, knock it off and do it,” Trinity said.

  “I assure you, the room is clean,” Dr. Ridley said.

  “I’m going to bring a black light and see if you’re right,” I countered.

  Trinity covered her face like she was mortified. “I’m so sorry.”

  Dr. Ridley chuckled. “It’s okay. We get this a lot.”

  “Can I at least do it at home and then bring the cup back?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry,” Dr. Ridley said. “It has to be done here.”

  Annoying. “Fine. Trinity, you’ll have to help me.”

  “What?” she blurted.

  “You’re going to have to help me with this.” I held up the cup to her.

  Her cheeks reddened again.

  “Actually, she’s not allowed in there,” Dr. Ripley said. “We can’t contaminate the specimen with other fluids.”

  “Can I at least look at her naked so I can get off?” I asked seriously.

  Trinity was beat red. “Slade, stop talking!”

  “What?” I asked innocently. “I don’t want to look at magazines and videos. I’d feel like I was cheating on you or something.”

  “Well, you have my permission,” Trinity said. “Think of it as a treat.”

  She clearly didn’t get it. “Trinity, I don’t want to look at videos and magazines. Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m not into that. I’m into you.”

  Dr. Ridley smiled. “It sounds like you have a very loyal guy, Mrs. Sisco.”

  “My wife is a supermodel,” I argued. “Why would I want someone else when I have her?”

  Her eyes softened but she was still embarrassed. “Do whatever you need to fill that cup.”

  I stared at the cup and released a sigh. “It’s going to take a long time.”

  “There’s no rush,” Dr. Ridley said. “Take your time.”

  I leaned toward Trinity and lowered my voice. “What if there are cameras in there?”

  She tried not to roll her eyes. “There aren’t.”

  “But there might be.”

  “Slade, I mean this in the best way possible…no one is going to want to watch that.”

  “Shows how much you know…”

  We left the office and Trinity left for her procedure.

  “Baby, wait.”

  She sighed as she returned to me. “What? I need to get going.”

  I grabbed her face and kissed her, but it wasn’t a PG kiss. My tongue immediately darted into her mouth and I tried to feel her up.

  She pushed me away because the nurse was standing right there. “Are you crazy?”

  “Hey, you had to give me something before I walked in there.”

  She flipped her hair over one shoulder and walked away with an attitude.

  At least my dick was hard.

  I went into the room then locked the door behind me. There were tons of chairs and TV’s in the large room. There were no windows, thankfully. I held my cup as I stood there. Every time I looked at a chair I pictured some other guy beating off there.

  It grossed me out.

  I decided to stand up. I undid my jeans and pulled my cock out. It was only semi-hard because the room made me uncomfortable. If Trinity were here this would be much easier. I’d be in and out of there in five minutes—probably less. There was a communal station of lotion and Vaseline but there was no way in hell I was touching that. I spit into my hand and started to jerk off.

  It was awkward standing in a doctor’s office and trying to get off. All I could think about was someone walking in on me or the amount of germs in the room. My dick went completely limp.

  This wasn’t going to work.

  I decided to turn on the TV and look through their adult videos. I picked one at random and turned it on. The girl was a blonde with enormous tits. But they looked fake and she wasn’t that hot. She wore too much make up and her ass wasn’t that nice.

  I changed it to another adult film. It was a threesome. I used to be into that before Trinity. But that didn’t do anything for me either so I changed it. I went through all the movies until I realized there was nothing left.

  My dick was softer than a wet fish.

  I looked at the stack of magazines but I didn’t touch them. There was no way in hell my hand was coming into contact with one of those. I could only imagine all the sticky residue on every page.

  I looked through pictures on my phone. I had a ton of pictures of Trinity but none of them were explicit. Most of them were of her sleeping beside me. Some were candid when she was looking out the window and not paying attention to me. Some were of both of us on a trip or somewhere else. Then I found a picture of her in her wedding dress. Cayson took it at the reception and sent it to me. It was the background picture on my phone.

  She was looking away, probably at me off the page. Her long blonde hair was in ringlets, and her wedding dress fit her perfectly. All her curves were highlighted and she looked beautiful.

  This was the picture.

  My dick got hard and I finally went to town jerking off to my own wife. I remembered our wedding night in the hotel. I remembered how I took her gently and loved her passionately. All the sounds she made echoed in my mind. My skin flushed with heat as I returned to that place, thinking of the first time I made love to my wife.

  And then I filled the cup.

  Phew. Thank god that’s over.

  ***

  Trinity was waiting in the lobby.

  I took the seat beside her, relieved I never had to do that again.

  “Did you do it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you provide a big enough sample?”

  “Oh yeah.”

  “Good,” she said. “It wasn’t so bad, right?”

  I glared at her.

  “Did you find a movie you liked?”

  “No. They were too…I didn’t like them.”

  “A magazine?”

  “No.”

  “Then what?”

  I showed her the background picture on my phone.

  “Me?” she asked incredulously. “You were allowed to watch all the porn you wanted and you jerked off to me?”

  “Why is that surprising?”

  “Because…who masturbates to their real partner?”

  “I do.” I didn’t understand why it was so surprising. I loved my wife and I thought she was the most beautiful thing on the planet. If I thought otherwise, I wouldn’t have married her. She didn’t leave me unsatisfied. She gave me the best sex I’ve ever had. She was all I wanted—every time. “I’ve been around, Trinity. Trust me, you’re all I ever want.”

  Her eyes softened noticeably. “Awe…”

  “Now can we get out of here?”

  She patted my thigh. “Sure.”

  ***

  I grabbed my jacket then kissed Trinity on the forehead. “I’ll be back later.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Check on Cayson.”

  “Oh…you probably should.” She was a lot more sympathetic toward Cayson after he collapsed on our couch.

  “When do we get our results back?”

  “One week,” she answered.

  “Okay.” That was a long wait. I would calm down after we were in the clear. “Don’t wait up for me.”

  “Be careful.”

  “I always am.” I gave her another kiss. “Love you.”

  “Love you too.”

  I walked out then made my way to Cayson’s apartment over the shop. I wasn’t sure how long he would be staying there. We offered our old apartment to him but he hadn’t asked for the keys.

  I entered the apartment and saw him sitting at the tiny kitchen table with his computer out. There weren’t any empty bottles sitting around so I took that as a
good sign. “What’s up?”

  “Hey.” His eyes were glued to the screen. “What brings you here?”

  I sat across from him at the table. “Just wanted to stop by.”

  He finally looked over the top of his computer. “Slade, I’m fine.”

  “I never said you weren’t…”

  “I signed the divorce papers.”

  “You actually did it?” My heart fell in my chest.

  “It was going to happen anyway. May as well get it over with. I can’t take any more heartbreak. I’ll burn alive.”

  I bowed my head and felt the weight of the situation. Never again would it be the four of us. Now things would be painful and complicated. It was hard to believe.

  “The thing that pisses me off the most is Sean. He was so eager for me to sign that because he was afraid I would run Skye dry and take down his company in whatever way I could.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “No, it’s true. He flinched when we discussed the divorce papers. He was hoping I wouldn’t see it. Technically, I’m entitled to half of her assets. The fact he thinks I would want them is insulting. I actually love his daughter. He really thinks I would screw her over like that? Even if she cheated on me I wouldn’t do that.”

  I’m sure Sean was upset over the whole thing but I couldn’t picture that. “Maybe you misinterpreted him…”

  “Slade, I was there. I know what happened.” He shut his laptop and sighed.

  “So…it’s really over?”

  “Yep.” He didn’t seem remorseful at all. His behavior reminded me of Conrad’s.

  “Are you okay?”

  “You tell me, Slade.” He clenched his jaw like he wanted to punch something. “You’re the only person who believes me. You aren’t even my wife.” He clenched his jaw again. “I can’t believe this is happening. Never in my wildest dreams did I think this is how Skye and I would end.”

  “Me neither…”

  “And the fact she thinks I’m some cheating asshole just makes it worse. I can’t be with someone who thinks so little of me anyway. It’s like…she has absolutely no faith in the man she married.”

  In my heart, I knew Trinity would believe me. But that just made me feel worse. Why couldn’t Skye have that same belief in Cayson? Of the two of us, I was more likely to cheat simply because I had a bad past. “She’ll realize it eventually.”