Precious Dragon

by Liz Williams

“Nothing happened at first,” Miss Qi said. “They all went on talking and I just listened, but gradually I became aware that I was experiencing—” she stopped. “I’m sorry. This is very difficult.”

  “We understand,” Chen said.

  “I’m not sure if you do, Inspector. I have known desire before, but relationships are not encouraged among warriors and therefore I suppressed it; it was easy enough to do. We are taught to maintain our purity and it is little hardship to do so, in Heaven. But all too clearly, this is not Heaven. I looked at Su Yi and I wanted her as I have never wanted anyone. My desire grew stronger and stronger until it was like a bursting wave in me and I threw myself at the Minister’s feet and begged her to—” the control was faltering “—to make love to me. She refused. I’m sure you can appreciate how humiliating this has all been.”

  “Miss Qi,” Chen said, “I’m so sorry.”

  “Su Yi really is the proverbial bitch from Hell,” Zhu Irzh remarked.

  “I’ll help you kill her, if you want,” was No’s contribution.

  “They all laughed at me,” Miss Qi went on. “After that, the Minister ignored me, but I could not seem to stop myself, I pawed at her clothing like a dog and eventually she said to one of the guards that since I clearly couldn’t control myself during a genteel tea party, I should be taken away. They brought me back here and shut me in.”

  “If it’s any consolation, Qi, this is what the Minister does,” Zhu Irzh said. “You heard that conversation about pheromones. It’s how she controls people.”

  “I am a warrior of Heaven,” Miss Qi said. “I have been through experiences requiring great fortitude and endurance, and I have always come through. But this demon has reduced me to a quiver­ing wreck with the aid of a few bio-chemicals. I should make it clear—it is not the fact that she is female that revolts me. Love between women, or between men, can be a pure thing. It was that she controlled me so easily. If she’s done so once, she can do so again.”

  “She could do it to any of us,” Chen said, “Except perhaps Jhai and that’s why I’m counting on her.”

  As if on cue, Jhai appeared. She was naked apart from a golden thong. Her tigress aspects had come even more to the fore and despite her nakedness, she was so striped that she looked almost dressed. Miss Qi looked away, but Jhai appeared unconcerned by her unclad state.

  “Suits you, darling,” Zhu Irzh said. Jhai shot him a grim gilded glance.

  “You too, Aladdin.”

  “Please,” Chen said wearily. He looked through the bars of the cell to where the guards were congregating on the other side of the room. “We need a battle plan.”

  “We need one,” Jhai agreed, “But I’m not sure whether we can actually formulate one until we actually get in there.”

  “It should be simple,” Zhu Irzh said. “You distract the Minister with your manifold charms and we’ll overpower the guards.”

  “I have a feeling,” Jhai said, “That it just isn’t going to work that way.”

  Jhai was right. A few minutes later, they were led from the cell and down a short passageway into what turned out to be the main hall. Chen could not work out the inner configuration of the Ministry: it was as though the building was turning around on itself in some painful contortion.

  And it was immediately clear that this was to be no tea party.

  The hall was filled with demons, most of them naked and some of them already engaged in acts that made even Chen, who had seen many things during his career with the police force, look away. Miss Qi gave an audible gasp.

  “It’s like something out of Hieronymous Bosch,” Chen said.

  “Who?” Zhu Irzh frowned.

  In the middle of the hall, the Minister reclined upon a divan. She, too, was naked apart from her fall of red hair.

  “At least the carpet matches the curtains,” Zhu Irzh remarked.

  “Zhu Irzh, please,” said Chen. “Heaven forbid that I should ever be a prude, but I’ve experienced quite enough crudity to be going on with.”

  Jhai gave Zhu Irzh a nudge. “You even think about trying something with one of these trollops and you’ll be as dead as a demon can be.”

  “Darling,” Zhu Irzh replied, “At the moment, quite frankly, it’s hard to think about anything else.”

  Chen saw Jhai repress a grin. She strolled forward, to where Su Yi reclined.

  “Hello,” she said, hands behind her back. “We met a little while ago. I’m Jhai Tserai.”

  “I know who you are,” the Minister said. “What are you doing in my Ministry?”

  “I came to check up on my boyfriend,” Jhai said.

  “I see.” The words fell from the Minister’s ruby lips like little stones, yet Chen had the impression that she was not unamused by Jhai’s answer. “I did not know,” the Minister said next, “That you had demon blood.”

  “Not many people do,” Jhai replied.

  “That might be useful. If you live.”

  “Su Yi, I have every intention of living and if you’re thinking about blackmail, forget it. I have connections in the Hindu Hells and believe me, not even you want to mess with them.”

  “Ah, but you see,” the Minister purred, “I’m not without connections there myself. One does have a social life, you know.”

  “Besides,” Jhai went on as if the Minister had not spoken. “I’m thinking of coming out of the closet when I get back home. After all, it’s so important to have authenticity, don’t you think? I’ve never approved of living a lie.”

  The trouble was, Chen thought, that Jhai almost certainly believed what she was saying.

  “You’re really quite attractive,” Su Yi said. She was now eyeing Jhai with a different kind of speculation. Over the Minister’s shoulder, a conga-line of copulation was forming. Given the lithe sinuousness of the women, not to mention the fact that he had a head start in sleeping with demons anyway, Chen was slightly surprised that he was not more aroused. Perhaps it was the jaded weariness on the demon’s faces as they engaged in their yogic eroticism that was putting him off, or maybe it was the memory of Inari, who though naturally a modest person, could be startlingly inventive once the bedroom door was closed. Whatever the reason for it, he was grateful. It helped him to think.

  “Thanks,” Jhai said. “It’s the stripes.”

  The Minister rose and undulated over to where Jhai stood. Demons or no demons, not even Chen was immune to Su Yi. He found himself literally unable to take his eyes away from her. The Minister wound her arms around Jhai’s neck. Jhai grinned with tiger teeth. An expression of mingled chagrin and consternation crossed Su Yi’s lovely face and then it was Jhai who was gasping and stumbling forwards. She regained her balance almost immediately but it was the Minister’s turn to smile.

  Then Jhai reached out and drew a delicately clawed finger between Su Yi’s breasts. A thin trickle of black blood followed it and the Minister sighed. Her crimson eyes half-closed and she swayed forwards.

  “Su Yi,” Chen heard Jhai murmur. “Why don’t we get rid of all these people?”

  “But darling,” Su Yi said. “I always have an audience.”

  “Time you tried something new, then,” Jhai said and kissed the Minister on the mouth. Chen had to drag his gaze away; it was that embarrassing. Zhu Irzh’s eyes were like saucers, Chen could see him mentally racking up different possibilities. Miss Qi’s face was almost as red as the Minister’s hair but there was a kind of fierceness in her expression, the look of a woman presented with a real chance of revenge.

  Chen stared at the opposite wall, beyond the columns, in an effort not to look at the Minister and Jhai. But then he saw something that effectively distracted him from any thought of lust.

  Someone was standing in the shadows, a crimson-clad form, lithe and strong. It was familiar, too, and when the figure shifted a little and its angular features fell briefly beneath the light, Chen understood why. The figure was Zhu Irzh’s sister, Daisy. Chen nudged the demon.

  “Zhu Irzh!
Look!”

  The demon took some distracting, but finally he glanced up, just as Daisy moved back into the shadows. But Zhu Irzh had seen.

  “That’s my sister!”

  “Yes, and have you seen what she was wearing?”

  Zhu Irzh gave a grim nod. “Looks like Daisy’s our girl for the kidnapping.”

  Chen frowned. He wasn’t sure whether Daisy would have had time to bolt back after her mother’s birthday banquet in order to stage a principal part in the kidnapping of Miss Qi.

  Daisy melted back behind the pillars. She must have seen her brother, but there had been no change in expression that Chen had been able to discern, and that suggested to Chen that Daisy was already fully aware of the course of events: more evidence of complicity, in Chen’s eyes. He glanced reluctantly back at the scenario before him. As Jhai took the Minister in her arms and swung Su Yi around, Miss Qi raised a hand. Chen thought at first that she was merely gesturing, in horror, perhaps, but then he saw that long glistening claws, the colour of pearls, were sliding out from beneath Miss Qi’s fingertips. Before the guard at her side could stop her, or Chen offer a word of caution, Miss Qi stepped swiftly forwards, sliced out with her pearl-clawed hand and tore out the Minister’s spine.

  “Bloody hell!” Zhu Irzh said, appropriately enough. Black ichor fountained over the floor, over Jhai, over the guards, who stood as if paralysed. Su Yi flopped to the floor and lay twisting and gasping like a dying fish. Miss Qi let the spine fall to the floor with a gristly rustle.

  “No, don’t let it go!” Jhai yelled. Chen, fighting severe revulsion, dived at the spine at the same time as one of the guards. They collided and Chen punched her as hard as he could in the face. She fell back, clutching her jaw, and Chen seized the spine.

  “Come on!” he shouted and made a run for the entrance to the passage. But the floor of the Ministry heaved like the deck of a ship and threw him to the ground. He did not let go of the spine, but it was close. The guards, the copulating demons, stood where they had last been, frozen. Only the Minister moved, in increasingly rapid convulsions. The Ministry mirrored her movements, bucking and twisting. Above Chen, a large lump of meat became detached from the ceiling and plummeted downwards, narrowly missing him. Zhu Irzh grabbed him by the arm and hauled him upright. Together, they dashed for the exit, followed by Miss Qi and the others. Zhu Irzh, with unusual chivalry, shoved Jhai ahead of him.

  “I can manage, thank you!” she shouted back, but her flying tiger feet made short work of the passage and Chen did his best to keep up with her.

  “Miss Qi! Are you all right?”

  “Yes! Much better now!” the Celestial called back. Not a very heavenly thing to do, ripping out someone’s spine, but then she had been born to battle demons and Heaven knew, she’d had a lot to put up with recently.

  When Chen looked back, Zhu Irzh was nowhere to be seen. Where had the demon gone? Jhai, registering that Chen had stopped, doubled back.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Zhu Irzh.”

  “Shit!” Jhai paused, indecisively. “Look, you go ahead. I’ll go and look for him.”

  “I don’t think that’s—” Chen started to say, but at that moment, Zhu Irzh reappeared around the corner at a run, carrying something flapping and dark.

  “You went back for your coat?” Jhai said. “You really are the vainest man I’ve ever met.”

  “There’s something in it,” Zhu Irzh said, and Chen was reminded that the demon was still carrying his grandfather’s heart.

  “Is it in there?” Chen asked him in an undertone as they raced along.

  “Yeah, they didn’t bother to search the pockets. Sloppy lot, the Min of Lust.”

  The passage, however, was closing in on them, the fleshy walls seeping blood and making the floor increasingly slippery. As Chen turned a corner, he heard a wet thump behind him and glanced back to see Miss Qi struggling over a bulwark of fallen flesh. He reached out a hand and pulled her through. The claws were no longer in evidence.

  They ran back through the phallic gorge, the fungi now drooping in impotent purple clusters. Back through the first passage, which was now narrowed and stinking. As they neared the exit, Zhu Irzh dived into an alcove with an exclamation and came back with someone, gripped firmly by the hair.

  “Let go of me!” Daisy hissed, clawing and spitting.

  “Who the hell’s that?” Jhai said.

  “Jhai, darling? Meet my sister.” Zhu Irzh punched Daisy straight in the face and slung her over his shoulder.

  And then, finally, they were out into what, for Hell, passed for fresher air. It was close to night. The parklands behind the Ministry were peaceful beneath a turbulent red sky. Chen, panting, stopped and looked back.

  The Ministry’s bulbous efflorescence was slowly collapsing in upon itself like a slowly deflating balloon. It stank as it collapsed, hissing rancid air into the already pungent twilight. It reminded Chen of some enormous, noxious fungus, the kind you come across unexpectedly in a damp portion of forest that releases its spores with a stink and a sigh when you poke it with your toe. Chen felt a distinct sense of triumph as he watched the Ministry of Lust detumesce into a boiling mass of flesh. He wondered whether matters on Earth would be any different as a result. The Ministry’s collapse represented no loss. But the sight of Minister Su Yi, writhing about on the floor with a bloody channel running where her spine had once been would, Chen knew, stay with him for too long a time. He looked down at the thing in his hand, the long curve of bone, the knobbled, bloody vertebrae.

  “Well, congratulations,” Zhu Irzh said, still in his ridiculous harem outfit. Dropping Daisy unceremoniously onto the ground, he twitched off the cape and threw it at Chen, a covering for the Minister’s spine. Then he searched pockets that weren’t there, finally remembering to rummage in his rescued coat. That didn’t seem to satisfy him, either. “This is the second time you’ve been personally involved in the demolition of an entire ministry. I’m going to have to buy more cigarettes. And I want my sword back. I’ll look for it later, in whatever’s left. Assuming we’ve not been arrested by then.”

  But what Chen said in return was, “Where’s Underling No?”

  37

  “So,” Zhu Irzh said, some while later. “We’ve not only managed to destroy another ministry and fatally wound a governmental minister; we’ve also lost an employee of the Ministry of War. They will be pleased.” They were grouped in the demon’s hotel room. Zhu Irzh had effected a change of clothes from his own luggage; Jhai had improvised a bedspread as a sari. Her tigress accessories seemed to have diminished somewhat. Su Yi’s spine, wrapped in the ridiculous cape, lay on the floor at their feet. Occasionally, it twitched, a convulsive movement like the tail of a cat, mirrored by the still unconscious form of Daisy.

  “Underling No came with us of her own accord,” Chen said. “Not that I expect War not to make as much political capital out of it as they can.”

  “I am very sorry,” Miss Qi said. Her ethereal features were crumpled with distress, which in Chen’s eyes was an improvement on the frozen glaze of a few hours before. Qi, he thought, and not for the first time, was a lot tougher than she looked. “I had some regard for Underling No.”

  “I bet she stayed behind to look for her mum,” Zhu Irzh said. “It’s why she came with us, after all.”

  “Do you think,” Jhai said slowly, “That Su Yi will really be missed?”

  “I don’t even know where she’ll go,” Chen said. “What happens when that sort of thing—well, happens to a person? You’d go to the lower levels, wouldn’t you?”

  “Usually,” Zhu Irzh said. “But Su Yi’s a minister. And she was assaulted by a Celestial. For very good reasons,” he added hastily, “but it’s really going to complicate matters. I’m surprised we haven’t been picked up already. The Ministry of War won’t offer any further support, for the reasons they gave us.”

  “I am prepared to stand trial,” Miss Qi said. She raised her chin
defiantly. “If necessary, I’ll take full responsibility. I shall make sure that everyone understands that I was acting on my own initiative, while the rest of you were being held prisoner.”

  “This is Hell, dear,” Zhu Irzh said. “No one’s going to care whether we were really involved or not, they’ll just prosecute us anyway.”

  “Perhaps I could bribe someone,” Jhai said.

  “Not even you are rich enough to put forward the kind of money Hell would want for this,” Chen said. “But it’s a generous offer.”

  “What happened to ‘you have to act with authenticity’?” Zhu Irzh asked.

  “I am acting with authenticity.”

  At this point, Daisy began to stir. Miss Qi eyed her with distaste. “I cannot be certain,” the Celestial said, “But I believe that is one of the people who kidnapped me.”

  “Daisy’s always had an eye to the main chance,” Zhu Irzh said. He gave his sister a little push with his foot. As he did so, she blurred. A second Daisy appeared, a few feet away.

  “Well,” Jhai said. “Looks like your sister’s got some magic of her own.”

  Zhu Irzh snorted. “It’ll be borrowed, you can be sure of that.” He leaned over the unconscious girl and shook her. The second Daisy shimmered and was gone. “Daisy! Wake up!”

  Daisy stirred again, moaned, hauled herself upright against the bed. “What—?” She looked up at her brother. “You fucker, Irzh.”

  “You’re a fine one to talk,” Zhu Irzh retorted. “I’m not the one who’s been in the pay of the Minister of Lust, am I? What were you, Daze, some kind of hired help?”

  Daisy spat out a small, glowing coal that sizzled a burn in the carpet. “Screw you. While you’ve been swanning off on Earth, Irzh, I’ve been the one trying to keep the family together in the face of mother’s treachery.”

  “Daisy, what are you talking about?”

  “The Ministry of War, Irzh, is what I’m talking about. Remember Grand-dad’s coup? I suppose you were very clever, getting hold of the old bastard’s heart like that. But mum’s been trying to stage a coup of her own.”