Apocalyptic Apothecary

by Ron Foster

  Modern pharmacological studies have revealed that Prunella possesses antiviral, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, immunoregulatory, anti-oxidative, anti-tumor, antihypertensive and hypoglycemic functions.

  “Well dang, boy, you sure weren’t exaggerating a bit when you said it was good for man or beast and pretty much everything else! You got a little extra bottle for your old buddy besides one of them itty-bitty one-shot wonder vials you showed me earlier?” Sloan asked.

  “Oh, most of those drams size bottles I was showing you today contain a concentrate of Heal All that is ten times or more potent than a regular tincture. Matter of fact, if you use it straight without diluting it, you will notice it’s a bit thick and forms a faint bandage. It’s very astringent though, I noticed, and sometimes wrinkles your skin, once you wash it off and let a damaged patch of skin breathe, the wounds tend to look better and then you reapply tincture if needed. Also, when it’s on your arm or something, it temporarily discolors the skin but not as bad as iodine and washes easily right off. Let me explain that concentrated bit to you really quick. A regular tincture is normally made with drinkable alcohol as a solvent traditionally so it extracts and preserves the goodness of a fresh herb as a base. Now you can use glycerin to do the same thing sort of thing because glyceride removes oxygen that prevents spoilage and since it tastes a bit sweet, it’s good for children’s medicine. But glycerin tinctures don’t last as long as alcohol-based stuff and sometimes you want to use higher proof or lower proof alcohol to get the most benefit out of a specific herb. Now before this storm of misery and woe hit us, Ann and I had a proprietary process to take science and plant extracts to a level of herbalism that would make the great herbalist Culpepper shake in his boots with envy. See, folks back then understood some of the not too easy to do, but commonly done stuff like taking marijuana and turning it into hashish to increase potency. They had Alembic stills and retorts to distill the essence out of an herb and make essential oils a few ways and they figured out how to ferment and distill alcohol but crystallization of stuff like menthol or other methods of concentrating flavonoids or other medicinal properties of an herb were unknown. I make tincture normally with stuff the old way, one-part herb, one-part menstruum, that’s the solvent you choose, my commercial product of choice is cheap vodka. So, Sloan, what you get is a one to one prescription written normally 1:1 to indicate its concentration level. That stuff is 10:1! Now I think fresh herb one to one is as good as it gets for most things and prefer it over all others because I hand gathered it from the ground. I waited the two weeks to process it and I made sure I squeezed all the beneficial oils I could out of the plant matter left in the jar when I poured it off. Before the collapse, in my household it’s made every season and has not been sitting on my shelf five years even though it works fine much longer than that. Like I said, it’s got more vitamins in the fresh and we all know vitamins break down over time so I prefer the fresher. I don’t have any medical data on the rest of the chemical constituents on shelf life but I used some 10-year-old stuff I had on a tick bite once and it still amazed me.” Zack explained before Sloan interrupted saying 10-year-old whiskey could keep a bite like that from becoming infected anyway but Zack disagreed.

  “Well, I am just saying I could sit there and watch a rash disappear over the period of like an hour.” Zack said before explaining the relevance of that statement.

  Symptoms of tick-borne illnesses

  Symptoms of tick-borne diseases can include headache, fever, fatigue, rash, and muscle aches and pains. But reactions can differ widely from person to person, Hill said, and some people could pick up a pathogen without showing symptoms. Skin reactions will also vary. Some people break out in the classic bull's-eye rash associated with Lyme disease or the spotty pink rash that spreads from limbs to trunk associated with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever but others showed no such reaction.

  "Using a rash is not a good diagnostic." Zack said. "What's important to know is that if you've been out in tick habitat or you've got a tick bite and develop these symptoms within two to 10 days, you should see a doctor and seek immediate medical treatment but he always just dobbed some tincture on the bite and hadn’t had any problems to date luckily."

  “Anyway, Sloan, that’s some stuff to look out for and recognize besides just a normal tick bite we all have had camping or dealt with many times before. Times have changed now! I got no idea about how much trouble or spread of disease is going to come off so many people being exposed to various bug borne illnesses or if the ticks and mosquitos are going to swap blood with those infected people being bitten with compromised immune systems. But I am guessing the chances of us all contracting something nasty is going to increase if they are sharing the same sick disease-ridden meal tickets and I wanted to reduce my chances of contracting some shit like Lyme disease modern medicine has fits with healing anyway.”

  “Ann and I made up a great handy way to have your bug bite buster with you at all times in the form of an applicator bottle. Regular panacea blend is too thick to work effectively in these so a dilution is necessary. That’s a good thing because they are refillable and you can really stretch say a big 2oz bottle into a huge supply if you have one available in your medicine chest. The dilution will not affect your results and remember with herbs, sometimes less is more. Panacea makes a great base for your own rollerball formulations and you can add essential oils like lemon grass or citronella for bug repellant properties or just use carrier oils like coconut etc. mixed with the product to help the skin and ease application. It is probably worth noting that fungal infections can be especially difficult to get rid of. Generally speaking, diet and other lifestyle consideration will also have to be taken into effect and other herbs may be needed for extensive periods of time to fully resolve the issue. Sugars, alcohol, etc. can actually feed fungus so making the skin more acidic with cider vinegar may work, avoiding eating things like blue cheese etc. can help. If you suffer from recurring candida etc., do a bit of research and look at your diet: small changes can produce big improvements.

  (Caps also have a string that fits to top)

  What many people do not consider is your skin is not made to have a constant irritant or foreign body on it, even if it is a medicine. Over-application reduces results and can cause sensitivity. Let the flesh adjust on its own occasionally to the air in the healing process and wash the area often. You are your best judge on number of applications of your tincture of choice based on condition and duration of the symptoms. Milder forms of medicine can be alternated with emollients like coconut or moringa oil which can soothe the skin as well as exhibit their own microbial and antiseptic properties to aid in the healing process. Many wounds or skin conditions need scabbing over, drying out etc.: be aware of the condition and use your observations to guide you and direct your actions and administrations for best results. I know one or two people found out using the tinctures internally as medicine helped them more than external, that can happen easily enough for conditions like eczema etc. or they find the combo approach is best.

  "Well the thing is, Sloan, those roller bottles got used a bunch by even non-purchasers because it wasn’t hard to guess if you are out camping out with friends, something itchy is going to get the inclination to take a nibble out of you eventually and having that pocket size instant remedy was going to help. Folks liked to borrow yours if they lacked something to relieve itching so having a refill supply put back is a good thing. Everybody compliments the product and says how good and effective it is once used and we sold out, except for the few they gave away for promo purposes. Now the prepackaged Panacea stuff, as you remember, had Moringa oil in it which was a major beneficial botanical consideration to add, but the genius in it was to make sure that stainless steel roller ball never bound up or was uncomfortable to use.” Zack said until Sloan started kidding with him again.

  “Shit man, I was only funning with you when I said that prepper mind of yours probably had 10 more uses than you were tell
ing us in that sales pitch you had already figured out!” Sloan said reminding Zack that he had told him you could use it to also oil the bolt of a rifle if you let it sit for a bit and skimmed the oil off the top. The panacea blend should always be shaken up but if you let it settle you can do that trick.

  “Moringa oil is the consistency and quality of fine watch oil, several Swiss watchmakers still use it for that purpose only today. I could have used anything as a carrier oil to make my mixture like olive oil, or grape seed or coconut oil, but that one specifically had the attributes and most benefits medicinally as well as being a primo preservative that I was seeking for a flagship product like that! By the way it can be consumed and has enhanced vitamins naturally.” Zack objected due to his countless hours of lost sleep and research dinking with things in the lab and his brain to perfect the product.

  “I know, but you sure did get me laughing hard when you told everyone you had gun oil in that shit with a straight face and watched everyone’s reactions. HA! Boy, that was funny as hell! I was surprised as hell you didn’t tell them you could use it for fish bait or something also, that is after saying it also was a tonic and had in addition to vitamins for the body, it had vitamin E for the skin and was a staple for cuts and burns in Africa!” Sloan said smirking until Zack looked at him seriously and asked him if he wanted to have a fishing contest because there were 10 more things, he hadn’t got around to telling folks yet.

  “I like for things to be multipurpose as well as highly effective or durable. Nothing wrong in that, it’s kind of the preppers’ creed, as you well know. One thing you were probably not listening to because you wandered off, was I told folks you can drink that stuff as well as rub it on your body. That silly question you asked me about would Heal All or that particular potion be good for snakebite could have been answered for yourself if you had been listening! Anybody that bought some knows the answer to that, you big Army jug head! The first thing to do when dealing with a snake bite is to take care of the infection first and worry about the possible toxin later. What the hell have you got on you right now to stave off a nasty septic infection or possible instant gangrene? A lot of times you hear about so called “Dry Bites” where the snake doesn’t pump poison in you. Getting over those is a bitch because you got a deep puncture wound and got it filled with some maybe germ laden or rotting blood and meat mouth was from a snake that eats what it finds without a toothbrush and goes to sleep for a day or two. Hell, you are Vietnam vet, remember the damn gooks would shit on sharpened bamboo punji stakes and dare you to step on one. It wasn’t a wound to your vitals but it could kill you just the same with blood poisoning that penicillin in massive doses wouldn’t fix. It’s all about timing, used to be in other wars you would have a packet of sulfa powder drugs to pack any kind of wound with to keep infection away until you got help but with the advent of the helicopter medvac and close by surgeon centers we lost that edge of first response treatment. I ain’t soldiering anymore, but I observed the same thing with the modern sand box soldiers going to fight our country’s conflicts by having classes on this is a camel spider or a deadly scorpion identification etc., but what do the medics get except a radio operator to get to the rear to treat you with? Now me, if I was involved in one of those new conflicts, I would have been talking to the old herbal shop in town on my first off base pass and figuring out what the locals have been using as medicine up and to the point my happy American flag waving ass came on the scene for that area and them poisonous kinds of critters. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have been sold some tourist crap after a meeting or two with a apothecary and actually had something to talk over with my unit’s medic more than a patch me up like a worn-out tire to fight another day or stabilize me back home without losing any parts I consider necessary.” Zack ranted.

  “Take our 120-ppm colloidal silver product for example; can you think of a more perfect thing to have at hand to dump on a snake bite and prevent a wealth of bad contagions? Back in the 1930’s, it was a miracle drug but it is cheaper and less costly to manufacture sulfa drugs so those surpassed it and it was forgotten for a time only to come out again when electricity wasn’t such a mystery and price of metals went down to more affordable by common folks. Now silver impregnated fabrics, bandages etc. are cutting edge, but big pharma says colloidal silver products are not tested thoroughly enough, take a pill, buy an ointment, buy 5 more and do it or both for a month or two; that don’t work, we try something else. Well, a lot of herbs work like that, it takes time to heal bad shit, Merry Christmas if you can realize that fact but I never will prescribe one herb that takes 5 other herbs to counteract its side effects, come to think of it with most natural herbs, that statement is a misnomer because there are no side effects or warning labels necessary! It’s only when big pharma synthesizes only one constituent out of a bunch of other things in a plant that it seems you get the weird reactions most often times.”

  “Hey, Sloan, we recently had us quite a unique experience and a great scavenging score that I am hoping will do us all some good. Now, this is a hell of a story we can share with each other on another day, but suffice it to say that I came up with a couple sales samples to help you do your duty helping me. Long story short, Sloan, we found out that old mansion that we moved into was older than we originally thought and found some useful items in the attic! Take this old home medical book, for example, that I am going to leave you with. It comes from the Civil War days and the reconstruction period and it’s one of those things a good educated family back in the day was proud to have in their house when a doctor was a mule ride or buckboard trip 30 or so miles away. You see, folks that lived in the back acres, far from town and regular medical help to consult with, used to do things on their own but didn’t know much except what was written down in a book or traditionally accepted by their up the country road midwife and wise woman to rely on to handle a medical ailment. Heal All is in there, by the way, even though western medicine did not talk about it or embrace it like they did for a thousand years of medicine said was good! You said yourself seeing information in old books was like faith moving mountains when it came to getting somebody to believe in something. Well, there is your new bible for now and trading stimulant, my library and proprietary formulas for now are my own business, as you understand. So, I was telling you about how I got you a great sales aid and what usually happens to a customer when you show something people can relate to for themselves and not just see text in a book. Well, by God, I got you a whopper of a visual aid and you can’t deny it! We will call it the great convincer for now. You see, I found you an antique of exceptional value in these days and times for anyone that wants to listen to our story! I got an original Civil War field chest for a medical unit and I don’t think there is a man alive except me that can even read those medicine bottles in it, let alone try to refill one again with something except me around here!” Zack said with a twinkle in his eye and an apology to go to his vehicle to get it.

  “Go on and get it, then hurry back! Damned if you ain’t the windiest person to get around to a point that I ever have seen!” Sloan objected.

  “Chill man, it’s nothing but an old empty box with interesting things to see unless you add knowledge.” Zack said cryptically

  “Ah, you going to be an asshole or a magician uncovering that quilt wrapped box now or later, Zack? Get to the point! Rod is supposed to be here and if I got something to show or a trick to do for him, I want some practice with it.” Sloan said losing his patience with him.

  “Ain’t nothing to it, that is unless you can’t read text in a book or identify plants in the field and understand that you know nothing about either.” Zack zinged him back.

  “The book is the key, open it to any page, learn something you can understand and ask me about any difficult words now or later. It’s written both ways for home owners or researchers listing common names for plants as well as their Latin names for the true researchers to know we are talking about the same thing. Ok, you got a ch
apter and verse for now?” Zack said, meaning did he have a page up defining something to diagnose or herb to prescribe for.

  “Yea I got one patient case, now what?” Sloan asked, not liking the playful abracadabra magic act gestures that Zack was doing with the old quilt covering the box.

  “Ta Dah! Now use that book and what’s in there to fix something.” Zack said, smiling like there was no tomorrow.

  “Ok, I see it and its awful pretty and old just like you said but there is nothing in there useful!” Sloan said, perturbed no bounty was apparent.

  “That’s just it, you jack-legged mule, if it was full of bottles of medicine and you had a Confederate doctor here to administer what used to be in there before the corks shrank and the medicine evaporated, we would most likely welcome that time traveler as the smartest guy we could have around at the moment!” Zack said full of himself.

  “And that would be you acting as a substitute these days maybe, I suppose?” Sloan said rubbing his beard stubble, studying the idea.