Never Say Goodbye_A Canyon Creek Novel

by Lori Ryan

  “That’s just it.” He sighed. How could he tell her this, admit his fears? Especially when what she’d faced had been so much more devastating? She’d fought the most important battle of her life, and won. Everything seemed trivial compared to that.

  “Tell me,” she said, resting her hand on his thigh.

  He glanced down for a heartbeat, wondering what he should do, then instinctively placed his hand over hers. Hers was freezing. He told himself that was why he was touching her. “We should go inside.” He glanced around, finding no shelter. They’d have to walk back to the center of town to find any place warm, unless they walked to the library.

  Elle shook her head and grinned. “You’re the master of changing the subject, Mr. Sumner. I won’t go inside, not until you finish.”

  “So stubborn,” he muttered.

  “Hello pot…” She laughed and Emmett joined in. This is what he’d missed about Elle the most. The easiness, the familiarity that only came from years of knowing one another.

  “I feel like the whole ‘bestselling author crap—’ he used air quotes— “is a fluke.”

  She cocked her head. “Why?”

  “Do you know what I wanted to do when my agent called and said one of the big five publishers wanted to sign me?”

  “Throw up?” she laughed.

  “Call you.”

  Elle leaned away, her expression falling flat.

  “You were the only thing I could think about that day. You were the one who believed in me, who encouraged me. The book they wanted was one I’d started in high school. I’d never had time to finish it, until you left.”

  “The short story about the abused teenager? The Musings of a Dying Girl?” she asked.

  Of course, she would know. “Yes,” he nodded and gave another shrug, knowing he was offering more of those than he was words. But how could he tell her the excitement over signing that deal hadn’t been the same without her. “It was exciting, at first, but then the publisher wanted more and more books, and there were other deadlines and…”

  “You’ve never written well under pressure,” she said.

  He shook his head. “I did it, but I hated it. I still do. I feel like no one understands. I love and loathe it. Have you ever felt that way about dance?”

  A sad expression washed over her face as she shook her head. “No,” she whispered. “I’ve always loved it, even when my toes were bleeding.”

  “Have you danced again? Since your treatment? I know you stayed in New York for a while.” Emmett couldn’t recall her talking of dancing in her journal.

  “I danced some, but never professionally again. The company I worked for was amazing—the principles and dancers supported me so much during treatment and after. And, so did the school when they found out. Both allowed me to do some choreography while I recovered, but I couldn’t dance professionally after that. My stamina still isn’t what it used to be. I can do one or two dances, but I doubt I could do an entire program now.”

  “I’m sorry,” Emmett said.

  “Don’t be. I actually discovered I loved choreography. And teaching.”

  Emmett smiled. “You always liked to boss people around.”

  Elle pushed his shoulder, sending their swings in a crooked sideways arch. “Only you, Emmett. And it was usually because you were wrong.”

  Emmett grabbed her hand when their swings came back together and clasped it in his. “You’re freezing, Elle. Can we go inside now?”

  She nodded once, glancing down at her cup. “Yeah, even my tea is almost frozen. Cold hot chocolate is okay, but cold tea isn’t the same as hot.”

  “You get that iced tea is a thing, right?”

  Elle wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “I never liked it. That reminds me, though.” She stopped her swing, excitement washing over her face. “I’ve been thinking we should offer frozen hot chocolate.”

  Emmett laughed and he felt the tension in his body ease. His Elle had returned, transformed in front of his eyes. He stood and pulled her up with him, sliding his hand into hers. “Isn’t frozen hot chocolate an oxymoron?”

  “It’s a thing. I think it could work.”

  He shook his head. “People coming in from the slopes to an ice-cold cup of frozen hot chocolate?”

  Elle shrugged and tossed her head as she led the way back toward the street. “We do a fair bit of business in the summer.”

  It was true. They had plenty of people interested in tubing down the slopes when the snow melted. And there was mountain bike riding and rock climbing.

  Emmett grinned and shook his head. “Still, an oxymoron.”

  They bickered the rest of the way to town over whether the drinks would need to be called chocolate shakes or frozen hot chocolate, but Emmett didn’t care. It felt like old times. Having cleared the air with Elle made him feel ten times lighter.

  They were different people now, older and hopefully wiser. Emmett realized they would never be as close as they’d been during their one night in New York. Elle hadn’t really wanted him, she’d only needed an escape. The thought stung a little but part of him was glad she’d found solace in him and not in another man.

  Elle was safe now, happy and healthy. She was alive. And she was only a friend, nothing more, he reminded himself. He would take that. Emmett breathed in deeply, knowing that’s all they ever would be. If she left him again, he’d never survive. He would have to be content with friendship.

  Still, something in his heart ached for more.

  Chapter Twelve

  Tell me again why you invited the Nobles to dinner?” Max asked as he spread out the dishes around their mother’s large formal dining table.

  “Because,” she said, following behind him to straighten the silverware. “Emmett and Elle will be working together to try to increase tourism in the town for both our businesses. I thought it would be a good idea to get the families together. We can all hear what they’ve been working on.”

  Max snorted. “I’m not sure I want to hear what Emmett and Elle have been working on.”

  Emmett stopped placing the silverware next to the dishes long enough to smack Max in the back of the head.

  “Ow.” Max rubbed his head and scowled.

  Ben reached out and gave Emmett a high five.

  “Besides,” their mother continued, ignoring Max, “Emmett and Elle are getting closer.”

  “They are?” Maggie practically squealed, waltzing into the dining room with a huge bowl of mashed potatoes.

  “Oh, don’t act like you don’t know.” Emmett shook his head. “You and Ma have been practically pushing us together for the last two weeks.” He watched as his mother and Maggie shared a conspiratorial glance yet remained silent.

  “You two better not try that match-making horseshit with me,” Max piped in, plopping down in a chair.

  “Maxwell James Sumner, watch your language. There are ladies present.”

  Max checked the room, craning his neck. “Where?”

  Maggie picked up a napkin and threw it at Max.

  “Right here.” Ben pointed to his fiancé.

  His mother turned back to her task and Ben shot Max the bird.

  “Ma,” Max fussed.

  “I saw that Ben. Apologize to your brother.”

  “Saw what?” Ben and Emmett asked in unison.

  “She sees everything,” Maggie whispered to Ben.

  His mother did see everything. That’s why Emmett had avoided her for the past few days, knowing she would make more of his relationship with Elle than there actually was.

  Emmett didn’t even know how to describe their relationship to himself, let alone his mother. One thing was for sure, he cared for Elle and would do anything for her, but that didn’t mean he’d be willing to put his heart on the line again. And his mom would want just that.

  The doorbell chimed, interrupting their conversation.

  Their mother smoothed down her skirt and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, taking in a
deep breath. Since when had she become so nervous? Emmett suddenly realized how important this meeting was. He’d seen the numbers, worked on the advertising. He knew without a doubt her and Maggie’s decision to work with the resort to increase business was the right one. It didn’t mean it was easy though.

  The Noble family had started the ski resort in the 1950s before the Sumners had done anything with their piece of the mountain. The Sumners might hold a place in the town as one of the founding families, but the lodge was definitely the smaller company in this new business relationship.

  “I’ll get it,” Emmett said. For the lodge’s sake, he prayed Max and Ben could behave. Who was he kidding, it was all three of them who could cause trouble.

  Emmett’s breath caught as he opened the door and saw Elle.

  She wore a light blue skirt with an ivory sweater that hugged her figure in all the right places. Staring at her now, he would never have guessed she’d undergone a mastectomy.

  He’d read through her entire journal and understood her decision not to have reconstructive surgery like some women did. After her mastectomy and subsequent treatments of radiation and chemo, Elle had written that she’d been done with hospitals. Even though reconstruction could have offered her the chance to repair some of the damage that was done from the operation that removed her breast, she didn’t want to put her body through any more surgeries or medical treatments.

  In her journal, Emmett had felt the pain of her self-consciousness. She’d written that her scars had caused her to hide behind a wall, afraid of what others would think if they saw her exposed.

  Emmett didn’t see any of that. She was just plain Elle to him. Well, maybe not plain, she’d never been plain to him. Elle was anything but that. The thought of her body being changed by her surgery didn’t bother him. Especially if the mastectomy had saved her life.

  Images of their night together in New York swirled in his mind. It didn’t matter what her body looked like now, Elle still had a hold on his heart, and other parts of him.

  “Hi,” she smiled shyly, glancing over his shoulder to where his family no doubt all stood watching them. “Can we, uh, come in?”

  Emmett realized he’d been gawking, visually devouring her.

  “Hello, Emmett,” a deep voice beside her drew his attention.

  Emmett dragged his gaze away from Elle and saw her father standing next to her. Shit, he’d been daydreaming of getting Elle naked right there in front of her father.

  “Oh, Elle, dear,” his mother said, sidling up beside him, “Warner, so nice of you to come. Please, please come in.” With more force than necessary, his mother shoved him out of the way and extended her arm toward the interior of the house.

  “Max,” she called, “come get their coats.”

  Max gave Emmett a confused look and mouthed, “What the hell?”

  Emmett shrugged, having no idea what had come over his mother. She had never really been the socialite kind and yet, that’s exactly what she sounded like.

  “Would you like anything to drink?” his mother asked, leading them into the living room.

  “I’ll just have water, if that’s okay,” Warner said, following his mother.

  Emmett turned to Elle as they followed behind the group. “What can I get you?” he asked quietly, leaning in. He drew in a deep breath, inhaling her scent. Shit. Images of her body wrapped around his, her head thrown back as she’d called out his name, robbed his mind of coherent thought. No, he thought. Only friends.

  “I’ll just have water, thanks.” Her answer snapped him back to the present and he made a note to remember that this was the present, where they were friends and nothing more.

  He led them into the kitchen and filled them both a glass. He nodded toward the living room. “Come on, let’s join them.”

  “Wait,” she grabbed his hand and tugged him back.

  He glanced down at their joined hands before looking up at her face. She looked nervous, scared even. “What is it?”

  “Do you have plans, for um, for after dinner I mean.”

  Was she asking what he thought she was? No. She wouldn’t. He’d said they couldn’t go back to where they were in New York. He’d told her they could only be friends.

  He swallowed and shook his head, not sure he’d have the power to resist her if she did ask for more.

  “It’s not that.” She laughed. “I want to show you something. My dream,” she said, releasing his arm and touching her chest.

  “Your dream?” he asked. “What does that mean?”

  “I have to show you, I can’t tell you.” Elle’s lips curled into a sweet smile.

  Hell yeah, he’d agree to just about anything to see that expression on her face. “Okay,” he said, not at all sure what he’d agreed to, and not at all sure he’d make it through this dinner with his heart intact.

  “Valerie, that was an amazing dinner,” Elle’s father announced, dropping his napkin and pushing his plate away. Elle couldn’t remember seeing him eat so much in her life. Then again, since he and Brody had cooked most of their meals until she’d become a teen, they hadn’t grown up on anything gourmet. Well, other than the times they ate at the resort restaurant. But even that didn’t seem to compare to a home cooked meal from Valerie Sumner.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Sumner,” Elle added, her smile genuine, knowing Mrs. Sumner had altered some of her recipes to fit Elle’s specific dietary needs. She’d pointed out the vegan items on the table as soon as they sat to eat, and Elle realized there were several things for her to choose from. Emmett had assured her he didn’t tell his family why she didn’t eat meat.

  Valerie reached out her hand and patted Elle’s. “Of course, sweetheart. Anything for you.”

  Elle was beginning to feel like she should have told people about her cancer. Not telling the town was one thing, but this was Emmett’s family. It felt weird not having them know. Maybe even though people saw her differently after the cancer, it was worth it just to let people in, to have the support. It had been Elle’s decision not to let anyone close, but she was beginning to see she might have been wrong in some ways.

  Suddenly all the secrets she’d been keeping didn’t feel so safe anymore. Her upcoming trip to New York sprang to mind. Should she tell Emmett about all her plans? Maybe even ask him to come with her?

  Valerie smiled at her and Elle squeezed the other woman’s hand back. In that moment, she missed her mother terribly. Or more, she missed what could have been with her mom.

  It had been difficult to grow up without a woman’s influence. She’d always felt loved by her male-dominated family, but it wasn’t the same as having a mom around. Valerie had taken on that role in many ways when she’d been younger and she used to follow Emmett home after school just to be near her. She’d missed having Valerie Sumner in her life the last few years.

  “So,” Ben said, “let’s talk about business.” Of course, Ben would be about business. He’d owned his own thriving software company in Seattle. And Ben had stepped in to fill his father’s role at the lodge shortly after John Sumner passed away.

  “I think your idea about the book signing and writer’s festival is a great one,” Maggie said, directing the comment to Elle. “I think Emmett could get his publisher to host a signing with other best-selling authors, don’t you, Em?

  Elle bit her lip. The idea had come to her shortly after Emmett had discussed his writer’s block. “I’ll do more market research if you like the idea,” Elle said.

  Emmett nudged her shoulder. “Yeah, I’m sure I can,” Emmett said. He looked over at Elle. “Do you need help?”

  “I don’t know?” She quirked a brow. “Do you know any best-selling authors who might attract a crowd?”

  Emmett laughed. “I meant with the market research.”

  “The sports camp is a great idea, too,” Max cut in.

  “Thank you.” Elle smiled, surprised to hear from Max. She hadn’t thought he was on board with working with the Nobles.r />
  Max returned her smile and she had no doubt why he’d graced the cover of so many sports magazine covers. He was the epitome of a sports hero. Sadly, he didn’t make her heart race the way Emmett did, but then she guessed that was to be expected.

  She’d always been drawn to Emmett. Spending time with him now might be good for her heart, but it was turning out to be a little confusing to her body.

  Emmett grinned, his mouth curling in a delicious smile.

  For a minute, she wished she wasn’t scarred and mutilated under her shirt. She wished she hadn’t thrown away what could have been with them by keeping secrets. She wished, for just a split second, that she could be his again. Be in his arms. Be loved by Emmett Sumner.

  This time, Maggie broke into her thoughts, saving her from heading into a depressing spiral.

  “I was thinking, with Valerie’s interest in yoga, she could contact some instructors around the area.” Maggie glanced around the table. “Maybe come up with some monthly retreats. We could alternate holding them at the lodge and the resort. Sort of take turns like we are with the Karaoke.”

  “Yes, that’s a great idea,” Elle said, trying to refocus. She and Maggie had come up with the idea of having Karaoke night once or twice a month, alternating venues between the lodge and the resort.

  “You’re into yoga?” Elle’s dad asked, directing the question at Valerie.

  “Yes,” Valerie smiled. “It’s been wonderful. Believe it or not, John loved it, too.”

  The room grew quiet at the mention of Emmett’s father.

  “Am I too late for dinner?” A high-pitched voice rang from the front of the house. “I brought pies but I’m holding them hostage. And who the hell blocked the drive? I couldn’t get my bug up here. I had to trudge up the driveway for half a mile with these damn things balanced—”

  Sally Sumner, Emmett’s aunt, appeared in the doorway to the dining room, her arms filled with boxes of what Elle assumed were pies.

  Elle watched as the family moved to greet their aunt. The boys took the pies from her and placed them on the table before turning to hug Sally and kiss her on the cheek.