Crystal Warrior: Through All Eternity (Atlantean Crystal Saga Book 1)
Page 8
Georgina feigned sleep, which was incredibly hard to do with her heart pounding in her chest with the weight of her guilt. He couldn't possibly know anything, could he? She and Torr hadn't even spoken to each other tonight. Maybe that's what he'd noticed and he was making his own deductions. Hell!
Gould's side of the bed was cold when she woke. Georgina rose and forced herself to work automatically through her morning routine. Her mind wanted to jump frantically from one thought to the next but she knew that was a pointless exercise. She'd deal with whatever eventuated much more easily if she stayed calm.
When she stepped into the kitchen half an hour later the only clue to her state of mind that might have alerted a close observer was the soft dark smudges under her eyes which were just visible beneath carefully applied make-up. But seconds after entering the room, Georgina realized she need not have worried.
Fran had center stage.
Wearing only a tightly belted peignoir of filmy cream silk her perfectly proportioned body was clearly outlined by the soft morning light from the pyramid corner. Her hair was a tousled halo of spun gold round her head. Her aqua-green eyes flashed like neon signs as she told the man sitting silently at the table exactly what she thought of him.
Gould, once again cooking bacon and eggs for breakfast, was in danger of charring the food because he couldn't seem to drag his eyes away from the outline of Fran's figure against the glass. Torr sipped coffee and stared stolidly at the table in front of him as if Fran wasn't just calling him every foul epithet she'd ever learned in childhood and quite a few Georgina decided she must've learned since.
No one was going to notice or worry about her state of mind, least of all Gould, she thought sourly. He was staring at Fran as if he'd never seen a naked woman in his life and Torr was evincing an equal fascination with the naked wood of the tabletop.
Then it hit her. He'd told them! Lord! She'd think of a few choice words to add to Fran's—but—what was Fran saying?
‘Why can't they send someone else? You're supposed to be on bloody holiday, for God's sake! You've been here scarcely two days!’
‘There is no one else, Fran. Geoff was going but Stephanie's pregnant and he doesn't want to be out of the country at present. I've already explained that.’
Torr's words were measured, heavily controlled.
‘Bullshit!’ Fran rejoined inelegantly. ‘You can't tell me you're the only bloody consultant available in the whole partnership to go to some obscure damned geological conference in bloody Greenland! Why is it important to go at all, for God's sake?’
Torr rose suddenly to his feet and gripping Fran firmly by the hand began grimly drawing her toward the door.
‘We'll continue this conversation upstairs,’ he said between clenched teeth. Then he stopped and turned to Gould whose startled gaze was still riveted firmly to Fran's quivering form. ‘Would you be good enough to order me a taxi for half an hour's time? I—have to get to the airport.’
‘I can take you,’ Gould said faintly.
‘I'd rather you didn't, if you don't mind. No offence meant, but I'm not much company at the moment.’
Gould nodded, his sympathetic glance sliding from Torr's granite features back to Fran.
Georgina found herself wondering if she was invisible, or better yet, was still actually asleep in bed and having some sort of very graphic nightmare. Gould hadn't spoken to her. Fran hadn't spoken to her. Torr hadn't spoken or even acknowledged her existence by as much as a glance.
He was leaving. Oh God! He was leaving!
‘Morning, Georgi.’
Georgina stared at Gould in horror, knowing full well that he would see the pain, the agony she was incapable of concealing, unable to tear her horrified gaze away from his even when she knew she should at least try to hide her reaction from him.
‘I'm sorry.’
He was sorry! He knew and understood how she felt? What was he trying to be? A bloody saint, for God's sake? Georgina wondered wildly if she should pinch herself to see if she really was awake, standing in the flesh, in her own kitchen, having this amazing conversation with Gould.
‘I was in a foul mood last night and I had no right taking it out on you.’
Georgina felt her mouth snap shut. She hadn't even realized it had been hanging open. Involuntarily, her eyes followed suit, and for a weird moment she wasn't at all sure she wasn't just going to faint. Gould was sorry that he’d been a less than considerate lover last night, not that Torr was leaving. She'd better pull herself together or Torr's magnanimous effort in getting himself called out of harm's way would go for nothing.
Because of course, she realized at last, that was what he'd done.
Drawing in deep breaths, she silently allowed Gould to fold her into his embrace. When the taxi arrived half an hour later, Fran didn't come down with Torr.
‘Thanks. Don't come out,’ he said gruffly, as he let himself quickly out the front door. ‘Fran might need you, Gina.—Shit! Tell her I'm sorry.’
Before either Georgina or Gould could respond, the door slammed and he was gone.
Chapter 5
August 1998
Georgina shivered, pulled her black woolen coat tighter and dug her hands deeper into the pockets as she walked up the path to Merryn and Case's house, Katja at her heels. Nearly four months had passed since Fran's disastrous visit and the change in the weather matched the alchemical changes Georgina recognized within herself during that time. Summer had lingered well into May and even during June it was as if winter couldn't really be bothered making up its mind whether to arrive in 1998 or not. Then in July it had made the decision with cataclysmic devastation.
Thunderstorms, heavy rain and flooding made travelling through the central North Island as chancy as a dice game. The motorist was never quite sure which road was going to be open and just where his route would take him. Hundreds of acres of farmland were under water and countless people were homeless. At first, temperatures had stayed unseasonably high but now finally as the calendar rolled into August, they'd dropped to unusually bitter lows, taking everyone's spirits with them. Georgina was no exception. But the weather was the last thing on her mind as she made her way to the comfort of her elder sister's home. She was sick—to the depths of her soul.
Gould and Fran were missing and guilt burned like acid in her gut. Georgina let herself in the door of the picturesque old villa in Mt. Eden and draped her coat over the carved kauri newel post at the foot of the stairs.
‘Hi guys, I'm here,’ she called and entered the front room where a fire roared in the grate. Case lay on the rug with his son on his chest and Katja immediately appropriated half the rug, plopping down as close to the heat as she could get. Chin on paws, she closed her eyes and pretended to ignore the baby who gleefully climbed onto her back.
‘Hi, George,’ Merryn greeted her from the depths of an armchair where she was placidly twisting silver wire and tiny gemstones into exquisite items of jewelery. ‘Come by the fire. You look frozen.’
‘No wonder. There's a nip of the Arctic in the wind,’ Georgina said with feeling, as she moved to the chair beside her sister and sat on the edge of it, warming her hands.
‘Any news?’ Merryn asked.
Georgina shook her head and then to her horror felt tears burn in her eyes. She never cried! Blinking furiously, she stared into the fire, praying the heat would dry them up. She was a fool to come here. These two were far too tuned to other people's emotions for her to successfully disseminate.
‘It's only been a week,’ Case said comfortingly from where he was sprawled on the rug, one hand steadying his son.
Suddenly, uncharacteristically, Georgina lost all sense of perspective. People had been spouting platitudes at her all week. None of it altered the fact nothing had been heard from the yacht `Astrid' for seven days. Before that they'd contacted base every day at the same time.
‘A week or a day it's all the same thing!’ Georgina snapped, no longer making any effor
t to control the tears. ‘To miss one call-in means they're in trouble. To miss seven means it's probably too late to help!’
Instantly Case was kneeling before Georgina, folding her in his arms.
‘Hey, steady up, little sister. They're doing all they can to get a trace on the 'Astrid'. Search planes are flying all the daylight hours there are and all shipping in the area has been alerted. The US Navy has even diverted one of its training frigates to the area. They'll find them, honey. Your mother and Merryn both feel they're still alive. You've got to trust them.’
‘How can anyone find them if they're in the middle of some sort of energy warp? Planes can't fly over it and ships can't enter it without risking more lives. They're all reporting the same problems. Their instruments start going haywire. There's a huge area of sea where they simply can't search and I know that's where they are! How the hell can anyone get them out even if they are still alive?’
Merryn put her work aside and came and knelt at Georgina's other side.
‘The US Navy's involved, George,’ she said gently. ‘They'll have the scientific might of the whole of the U.S. behind them. They'll come up with a way.’
‘No one ever has before,’ Georgina whispered. ‘The `Astrid' will just become another mystery statistic.—Oh God, why did Gould ever go on that bloody expedition? Why did Fran?—Hell! What a stupid damned question!’
‘No it's not, George,’ Merryn said. ‘It's natural you should question Gould's need to rush off to dangerous places in the world, not to mention encouraging Fran to go along as well.’
‘It was her idea! What a mess! Neither of them would've gone if it hadn't been for me.’ The words had been waiting inside her, hovering for just such a vulnerable moment, to ambush her. Georgina buried her face in her hands.
‘That's utter nonsense, Georgina!’ Merryn said almost sharply and Georgina lifted wild eyes to her sister's face.
‘It's true! Neither of them would've gone if—if I hadn't taken one look at Torr Montgomery and—and—’
‘George, what are you saying?’ Merryn and Case had both gone very still though Merryn's hands began rhythmically stroking Georgina's.
Georgina couldn't believe what she'd almost blurted out. She'd kept her thoughts under control until now. It was reaching the point where she no longer recognized the person she'd become. She closed her mouth, her eyes, her mind, but the damage was already done. Alert and tense, Merryn and Case were both waiting for her to finish what she'd started to say.
What was she to admit to, anyway? That in another lifetime she'd been Torr Montgomery's lover? If it was true it was no crime and she'd committed none with him in this one. Yet from the moment they'd met at the airport her life, her hard-won comfort and happiness had changed irreparably. No matter he'd taken her at her word and left again at the earliest possible opportunity, she still felt—guilty.
Like a whore. Those words too, were like guerillas, waiting to ambush her when her defenses were weakest.
Guilty. No matter how hard she worked at disguising her true passionate nature, fate found a way of undermining her. There were times when she wondered if the only way she could control it was to enter a nunnery; and others when she wondered whether she was born guilty.
Jordie rolled off Katja's back, falling perilously close to the fire. Case left Georgina and scooping the baby up, sat back on the rug with the child caged between his knees. Georgina didn't miss the meaningful glance that passed between him and Merryn once the little boy was safe. At times these two seemed able to communicate without words—just as she and Torr had.
Torr. Taur. Georgina sucked in a deep, slow breath to try and ease the hurt that always came with the memory of him. Pain and guilt all rolled into a torturous mass of confused longing. She wasn't even sure what she longed for. His presence had been almost as painful as his absence.
Merryn's hands stilled and her slim fingers closed tightly round Georgina's. Gritting her teeth, Georgina waited. Being the eldest might give Merryn family status and rights but there were some things Georgina knew she couldn't share. Whatever it was she and Torr had shared it was theirs, alone.
‘Georgina, why do you—feel responsible—for Fran and Gould going on that expedition?’
Merryn's carefully worded question wasn't what Georgina was expecting. She stared for a moment into her sister's deeply concerned gaze, and floundered. Was that pity she saw there?
‘It's nothing. I was just—babbling,’ she prevaricated.
‘George!’ Merryn snapped straight back. ‘Stop it! All your life you've covered up for Fran—or hidden behind her. Time and again I've seen you take a punishment that should've been hers. I won't let you do this to yourself again!’
Georgina stared at Merryn.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I'm talking about Fran being so pipped about Torr taking off she decided to compensate herself with Gould.’
Feeling as if her eyes had taken over the whole of her face, Georgina whispered, ‘That—is—ludicrous.’
‘No it's not,’ Merryn averred, shaking at Georgina's hands as if to make her see sense. ‘Where do you think she was those last few days before she left?’
‘At Mum's.’
‘She slept there. But each day from nine till four she was at your house—with Gould.’
A strange cold stillness settled within Georgina.
‘How do you know?’ she asked.
‘She borrowed my car, poured her heart out to me before she left and swore me to secrecy. She didn't want to hurt you. I tried to tell her it would hurt you less if she was open with you but she wasn't sure that what she was feeling for Gould wasn't just rebound from Torr. It was all so sudden.’
‘And Gould? What was he feeling?’ Georgina had the strangest sense of standing apart from herself, her life with Gould, and observing it like a spectator at a show.
‘I don't really know. I wasn't talking to him. But I got the impression they both felt they needed to test things out first before they—in case—’
‘In case Gould lost out on both of us?’ Georgina snarled, remembering the night he'd made love to her as if in a trance.
‘You don't believe that of Gould, Georgina,’ Merryn chided gently. ‘You have to see it from their point of view. Neither of them wanted to hurt you if—’
‘—if it was all just a bit of prurient lust?’
‘Oh Georgina, don't!’ Merryn begged, leaning forward to enfold her sister in her embrace.
Georgina gently pushed her away, stood up, and began pacing around the room. There was something inside her struggling to get out. Just for the moment she wasn't sure what that something was so she'd pace until her body had decided for her because her mind was well past deciding anything. Her hands fluttered over an arrangement of purple pointed crystals around a large clear one, then moved on to hover over another circle of dark smoky points placed round a sphere gleaming with rainbows. Every flat surface above toddler height in Case and Merryn's home held an arrangement of crystals and Georgina drifted from one to another in a sort of pent-up trance, scarcely aware of what she did.
All she knew was any moment soon, something was going to erupt out of her. Case and Merryn knew it too, their eyes following her, bodies tensed ready to move the moment she fell apart. Case rose to place wee Jordie in his walker.
Then Georgina understood what it was gathering within her with all the tension of an electrical storm.
Laughter. Deep and ugly, but laughter. It heaved in her stomach, churned up into her chest, bubbled into her throat and out of her mouth.
‘Oh God!’ she gasped, and leaned weakly against the wall clutching her midriff. It was all too stupid for words.
‘George!’ Case slapped her smartly across one cheek.
She stopped laughing abruptly, straightened herself, and looked him in the eye.
‘I'll forgive you for that because I realize you think I'm hysterical. I'm not falling apart like some milk and water Vi
ctorian female. But I will sit down, if you don't mind. I do feel a bit shaky and only because I don't know when I ate last.’ Dropping back into her chair, she closed her eyes and muttered, ‘What a stupid bloody mess.’
‘I'm sorry,’ Case offered a little stiltedly, then asked his wife, ‘Is dinner ready, honey?’
She nodded, then giving her sister a loving look, said, ‘It's okay to fall apart, George. It'd be perfectly natural in the circumstances—and better for you in the long run, if you vented your feelings now.’
Georgina nodded and rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. Crying was so weak. It had never solved anything in the past, nor could it now. She wouldn't cry.
‘Well, how about we eat and then maybe George would like to tell us what's going on. It's obvious to me she knows something we don't,’ Case said.
Georgina nodded again.
‘It'd be a good thing if Fran and I had had the sense to sit down and talk things out—like we used to. Hell! Feed me Merryn, then I think I need some advice from you guys.’
With dinner out of the way and the baby tucked up in bed, Georgina settled down on the rug by Katja who promptly wriggled round until she could lay her big head on her mistress's lap. Staring into the fire, Georgina pensively ruffled her fingers through the dog's thick creamy coat and allowed herself the luxury of letting her thoughts rest on Torr. Where was he? Had he forgotten her? Did he know Fran had organized a place for Gould on the expedition to explore the waters off Bimini Island and look for evidence of an ancient civilization many thought to be the mythical Atlantis? Did he know they were on a yacht missing in the very center of the treacherous Bermuda Triangle?