Far From Home

by Anne Bennett

  ‘I never did, Kate,’ Dolly said. ‘Not like that I didn’t. He was so determined though.’

  ‘I know, I believe you,’ Kate said.

  ‘But why would he want to go through your things?’

  ‘Possibly to check that what he had been told by my parish priest in Donegal was right. Look, you may as well know he was here mainly to tell me I was living in sin with David.’

  ‘And are you?’

  ‘Only as far as the Church is concerned,’ Kate said. ‘I am legally married, but we had no time for the big church do before David enlisted.’

  ‘Well,’ said Dolly slowly, ‘I think these are strange times and you might have to move with them and I am not going to blame you for striking out for a bit of happiness.’

  Dolly’s attitude helped when the expected and censorious letter from Kate’s mother arrived the following Friday, castigating her for the way she behaved before the priest and the insulting way she’d spoken to him. She said she was disgusted, surprised and hurt that a daughter of hers should behave in such a dreadful way. Strangely, Kate felt no remorse. She had discussed it briefly with Susie and then she had called in to see Sally after work to tell her of her altercation with the priest and her mother’s reaction to it. And although Sally agreed that the priest had been particularly nasty in the things he had said to Kate and the way he had inveigled himself into the flat in the first place, she was startled when Kate said she wouldn’t be going to church any more. ‘What about your immortal soul?’ she asked in slightly awed tones.

  ‘What about it?’ Kate said carelessly. ‘The bloody priests would have a person afraid of their own shadow.’

  ‘They have power, Kate,’ Sally warned.

  ‘Only because we allow them to have it,’ Kate retorted. ‘They should be more concerned with what’s happening in the world. They go about as if the war is no concern of theirs.’

  ‘Mammy is all for the priests, however they behave,’ Sally said, scanning the letter. ‘Now you’re in her bad books as well as me.’

  ‘Looks that way, certainly,’ Kate said.

  ‘How will you answer a letter like that?’

  Kate shrugged. ‘Don’t know,’ she said. ‘But I’ll tell you one thing. I will lose no sleep over it. And if you want to go to Mass, that’s up to you – come round for your breakfast afterwards as normal.’

  ‘I will,’ Sally said. ‘It gives us an opportunity for a good chat.’

  However, before Kate met up with Sally again, she had a much more welcome letter on Saturday, for it was a note from David, and although it was short she treasured every word.

  My darling Kate,

  Things are very hectic here and there is little time to write letters. I can tell you nothing, but I’m sure you listen to the wireless and read the paper and so you’ll be well aware of what is going on. Every plane and every pilot is needed and I see no light at the end of the tunnel yet. Be strong, my darling, and remember I love you with all my heart and I always will,

  Lots of love,

  David

  Kate showed her sister the letter the following day when she called in after Mass, and they were finishing their breakfast when they heard on the news that the Crown Prince of Norway and his Cabinet had fled to London. There was no official surrender and sporadic fighting still continued, but the writing was on the wall as far as Norway was concerned. It was as if the whole world waited to see what Hitler’s next move might be.

  They hadn’t long to wait, because just days later, Blitzkrieg, or Lightning War, was inflicted on Holland, culminating in a raid on Rotterdam that left over a thousand people dead and countless more injured. The pictures in the paper were heartbreaking, desperate: despairing people fleeing with all that they could carry, while behind them plumes of smoke filled the air as their city burned. Worse news, though, was that German paratroopers had landed on the fort everyone had said was impregnable, and had taken control of the bridges. Men and machines had begun trundling across them and German tanks had also ploughed through Ardennes Forest, another apparently impregnable obstacle. The papers all reported that the French were fighting for their lives.

  When Kate called to see Sally the following evening, she saw that Ruby was in a dreadful state. She had deep score marks in her face, which was a muddy grey colour; the frizzy hair that framed her face had not a vestige of brown left. But what upset Kate most were her eyes, reddened like Sally’s and ringed with black: they were full of pain and fear. Her humour and feisty nature seemed to have deserted her altogether: ‘We’re neither of us able to eat anything,’ she told Kate.

  Kate nodded. ‘My appetite seems to have gone too,’ she said. ‘But please don’t think the worst yet.’

  ‘How can we not?’ Ruby cried. ‘Look at this map – it was in the paper today.’ And as she spoke she spread it out on the table. ‘See, those bloody swastikas are everywhere.’

  They were too, and Kate’s eyes opened wider, because seeing it like that really brought it home to her just how alone Britain was. ‘The Allies must be surrounded by the German armies,’ Sally said. ‘And as far as I can see, the only place they can retreat to are the beaches. Then they will have to bloody swim for it. I mean, think about it, how many prisoners can the Germans take? And a nation that can callously kill innocent civilians will not be very kind to the soldiers of an invading army.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Ruby agreed. ‘And even if they aren’t captured, I reckon they will just be picked off on the beaches or bombed to kingdom come because there is nowhere else they can go.’ The eyes she turned on Kate were bleak and lacking in all hope as she said, ‘I can’t even cry. My fear for Phil goes deeper than that, and inside me and Sally are falling to pieces.’

  There was a strange message broadcast from the Admiralty that no one fully understood, for it was requesting all owners of self-propelled pleasure craft between thirty and a hundred foot in length to send specifications to the Admiralty within fourteen days. Shortly after this, the Allies were ordered to retreat, making for the beaches of Dunkirk, where they found the big destroyers sent to take them home had to be anchored out in deep water, so the soldiers couldn’t reach them, despite the pier heads they built from discarded equipment.

  And then the meaning of the message from the Admiralty was made clear as a flotilla of boats of all shapes and sizes, yachts, cruisers, even fishing smacks, manned by a motley crew of civilians, sailed over to the beaches, filled up their vessels with servicemen and ferried them out to the waiting ships. It was called Operation Dynamo and its objective was to lift as many men off the beaches as possible. In the end, 700 boats took part in this, for when the veil of secrecy was lifted and everyone knew what was at stake, many owners of boats set off on their own without Admiralty clearance.

  The papers reported on the men’s return, and in the accompanying photographs Kate saw them waving from the carriages of trains or being greeted by the WVS. Some had blankets around their shivering bodies as they gulped at the scalding tea in the thick white mugs, and there were harrowing accounts of the conditions on the beaches. A great many had stood waist-high in the freezing water for up to thirty-six hours without food or water before being rescued.

  When the operation was brought to a close on 4 June, the papers reported over 300,000 Allies had been saved, and that included 140,000 French.

  ‘It was amazing to get so many men home,’ Kate said one day to Susie about a week later. ‘But the cost has been colossal in the loss of so much stuff.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s why overtime is compulsory,’ Susie said. ‘They need more Jeeps so they need more radiators for them.’

  ‘They need everything if we are ever to win this damned war,’ Kate said. ‘And the need to win is even greater now, or those left behind on the beaches of Dunkirk will have died in vain.’

  ‘They might not have died,’ Susie said. ‘They might have been taken prisoner.’

  ‘The chances of that are very slim,’ Kate said. ‘Rumour has it th
at few were taken captive.’

  ‘Yeah, I can believe that of the murdering Krauts,’ Susie said bitterly. ‘Some of those returning are little more than boys, and I suppose they are the lucky ones. Has Sally had any news about Phil?’

  ‘Not yet, but, as I said to her, no news is usually good news, and with over three hundred thousand rescued, it might take time to sort out where everyone is. She says it’s the not knowing that’s hard,’ Kate said. ‘And I know it is, but the only thing she wants to know is that he is alive and well.’

  ‘That’s what anyone would want to know, though.’

  ‘Yes,’ Kate agreed. ‘And I do feel sorry for her. But I am trying to cheer her up. I mean, it could be good news if he was injured, as long as it wasn’t that bad and, if he was, he could be anywhere they had space, but I do know that she has scrutinized every picture in every paper.’

  ‘You and I would do the same as well,’ Susie said with a smile. ‘We didn’t even know our men had been involved till they sent that note to say they were safe.’

  ‘Good job I didn’t know in advance,’ Kate said. ‘I’d have been a nervous wreck. I think the Phoney War, or Bore War as some called it, is definitely over.’

  ‘I think so too,’ Susie said. ‘And now we’re being asked to hide maps and disable cars and bikes not in use.’

  ‘I know,’ Kate said. ‘And just today I saw a man painting out the road signs … I don’t mind admitting that I’m scared stiff. Only a small stretch of water separates us from France – if you ask me, Britain is staring a full-scale invasion in the face.’

  SIXTEEN

  Just a few mornings later, Kate was at work when she was approached by the supervisor, Mrs Higgins. The machine shop was a noisy place, far too noisy for normal conversation, but Mrs Higgins indicated that Kate should follow her. She was surprised because this had never happened before; as she turned off her machine, Susie, who worked beside her, looked up and raised her eyebrows in enquiry. Kate gave a shrug before following behind the supervisor, past the line of girls at machines just like her own, who all looked at her curiously.

  Outside the machine shop it was much quieter, though the throb and rumbling could still be heard, and Mrs Higgins said, ‘Sorry about that, Kate, but Mr Tanner said to fetch you.’

  ‘He did?’ said Kate in astonishment, because Mr Tanner was boss of the whole place and she hadn’t been in his office since the day she had been interviewed for the job a few years before. ‘D’you know what this is about?’ she asked. ‘I can’t think of anything I have done wrong.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ the supervisor said, and her eyes were sympathetic as she went on, ‘I don’t think it is about anything you have done. I think you should prepare yourself, though. Your sister is here.’

  ‘My sister?’ Kate echoed, knowing only a catastrophe of some magnitude would have caused Sally to seek her out.

  The supervisor nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said dolefully. ‘She told Mr Tanner that she was your sister – she’s very distressed.’

  The blood drained from Kate’s face. ‘Oh God,’ she breathed.

  They reached the office and Mrs Higgins said, ‘You can go straight in. He is expecting you.’

  From behind the door came the muffled sound of weeping and Kate mentally straightened her shoulders before opening it. The last time that she’d been in the room, Mr Tanner had sat in a black leather chair behind a large, highly polished wooden desk. There was another black chair facing the desk, and that was where she had sat nervously for her interview.

  Now her sister, still in the overalls she wore for work, sat in that chair, rocking backwards and forwards, the tears dripping through the hands she had covering her face. Mr Tanner was beside her, looking decidedly uncomfortable and patting her shoulder gently. He gave an audible sigh of relief when he saw Kate. ‘Ah, Mrs Burton,’ he said against the backdrop of Sally’s sobs, ‘I’m afraid your sister has had some distressing news.’

  At his words, Sally took her hands away from her face, but the tears still trickled from her puffy eyes and made tear trails through her dirt-smeared face. Kate felt a wave of pity wash over her, for it was like looking at two pools of sadness, and then she noticed the buff telegram crumpled in her sister’s begrimed hand. ‘Oh, Kate,’ Sally cried. ‘What am I to do? Phil’s dead.’ And she waved the telegram as she went on: ‘This came this morning. His was one of the bodies left at Dunkirk.’

  Although Kate had more or less known what her sister would say, the words were still shocking, and she gasped as she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around her sorrowful sister, breathing in the stench of oil on her overalls. Mr Tanner had gratefully stepped to one side and he said to Kate, ‘I think you should take your sister home, Mrs Burton. You need to be together at this dreadful time.’

  ‘I will,’ Kate said. ‘Thank you, sir. Maybe you can get word to Susie Kassel? She will be wondering – we always go home together.’

  ‘I will,’ Mr Tanner said. ‘Don’t you worry about a thing. You just get yourselves away.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Tanner,’ Kate said as she stood up. Drawing Sally gently to her feet, she said, ‘Come on, my dear. I must get my things from the cloakroom and then we can go.’

  ‘I left everything behind,’ Sally said, brokenly. ‘I couldn’t think of anything except needing to see you.’

  Kate’s heart lurched as she realized how terribly young she was to deal with this, though she knew Sally wouldn’t be the only one mourning a boyfriend, husband, son or brother. She hurriedly shrugged herself into her coat, retrieved her bag from her locker and linked an arm through Sally’s. She looked so pale, Kate was afraid she was going to faint on her. As they walked to the tram stop, Kate said, ‘We’d best go to your place first. Ruby will—’

  ‘Ruby won’t be there,’ Sally said. ‘She is in hospital. She had a stroke or heart attack or something when the letter came.’

  ‘Ah, dear, poor woman.’

  ‘She was on her own, see, so I don’t know what happened. The telegram was delivered after I had left for work. Phoebe had seen the telegraph boy knock on her door, and when he had gone she heard Ruby cry out and went in to see if she was all right. She found her spark out on the floor with the telegram in her hand. She called Dr Butler out and he ordered an ambulance and then she brought the telegram to me.’

  ‘So you don’t know how bad Ruby is?’

  Sally shook her head. ‘Not a clue, though Phoebe said that she didn’t look good,’ she said. ‘Don’t even know where she has been taken either, though it’s probably the General.’

  ‘More than likely,’ Kate said. ‘Initially, anyway.’

  ‘I know I should go and find out,’ Sally said as the tram pulled up and they clambered aboard. ‘It would be what Phil would want, but I can’t seem to work up enthusiasm for anything.’

  ‘I’ll do all that as soon as I get you settled,’ Kate promised. ‘You really need to eat something and then sleep if you can.’

  Sally shook her head. ‘I doubt that I could sleep,’ she said. ‘My whole body is like jumping about inside and yet I am so weary I ache everywhere.’ She looked at Kate with red-rimmed, pain-filled eyes. ‘But none of this matters, does it?’ she said in a voice little above a whisper as she fought the tears threatening to engulf her again. ‘What does matter is that I will never see my darling Phil again, and I am just realizing what that means and I won’t have any kind of future without him. And don’t say that I will find someone else, because I don’t want anyone else.’

  Kate didn’t say anything. She hadn’t any words that would help assuage the intense grief she knew Sally was feeling at that moment. She needed to grieve and it was healthy that she did so; Kate decided she would shield her from those urging her to get over it until she was ready.

  When they alighted from the tram, Sally was so weary she was unsteady, and Kate supported much of her weight as they made their way to the flat. The stairs were a great challenge for both of them. However,
eventually, they were inside, and Kate lowered Sally into an easy chair and put on the kettle before stripping her of her dirty work clothes. She used some of the water to make a cup of tea, which Sally gulped at gratefully, and with the rest of the warm water she washed her gently as if she was a child.

  ‘Now it’s bed for you,’ she insisted. ‘Pop a nightie of mine on and tuck yourself up while I make some more tea and some toast.’

  ‘Just tea,’ Sally said. ‘I couldn’t eat.’

  ‘I’ll make it anyway,’ Kate insisted. ‘I’m only talking about a couple of slices of toast, and you may feel like it when you see it. If not, there’s no harm done.’

  Sally just nodded as she pulled one of Kate’s nighties over her head, too tired to argue, and when Kate went into the bedroom later with the tea and toast, she found Sally tucked up in her bed. Despite her declaration that she didn’t think she would sleep, she was indeed in a deep slumber.

  Kate lost no time, but first she knocked on Dolly’s door and told her what had happened and asked her if she would sit with her sister for a while. ‘I must find out what has happened to Ruby and then go to Sally’s place of work and tell them about Phil but I don’t want to leave her alone and her to wake up when I’m gone.’

  ‘I’ll sit with her, never fear,’ Dolly said. ‘Poor little love. You do what you have to do, Kate.’

  Ruby was in the General Hospital and a nurse agreed to let Kate see her when she explained who she was. ‘But she is extremely ill,’ she cautioned. ‘You can have a few minutes, no more.

  Kate nodded and opened the curtain. When she saw the shrunken, comatose figure of Ruby on the bed, her face as white as the pillow her head lay on, she knew she was looking at a very sick woman. It didn’t look a bit like the feisty person Kate knew her to be. It was as if the spirit of her had gone.

  The doctor was waiting for her and was very grave. ‘It was a massive stroke that Mrs Reynard sustained,’ he said.