Far From Home

by Anne Bennett

  ‘No, nor me,’ Susie agreed, and then went on: ‘I read somewhere that these barrage balloons hovering above the city streets are a form of protection against the air raids, though I don’t see what earthly use they will be.’

  ‘Nor me,’ Kate said. ‘And when the bombing does start, that’s when the ARPs will be needed … So I’ve decided to volunteer as well.’

  Susie nodded. ‘I think you’re right,’ she said. ‘Are you going to talk to your boy in blue and ask what he thinks about it first?’

  ‘Ask his permission?’ Kate said. ‘The answer is no. David never asked if I minded him joining the Air Force. He told me that was what he intended to do long before he was called up and, if I remember rightly, Nick did the same.’

  Susie nodded again. ‘He did and you’re right,’ she said. ‘They didn’t ask us so there is no earthly reason why you should ask David. You know,’ she went on, ‘I wouldn’t mind coming along too. I imagine that duties will be arranged in the evenings or weekends and I’m doing nothing else. I’d feel I was doing my bit too, and anyway I’m finding life deadly dull just now.’

  ‘Yeah, I’m finding life a bit of a drag as well,’ Kate said. ‘I mean, I don’t really feel right going dancing without the chaps.’

  ‘Nor me,’ Susie said. ‘Not that there’s much dancing to be had. The single girls who do go say that there are so few men, except the odd one home on leave, that they spend the time either sitting at the tables getting bored to death, or dancing with their friends. Lots of the stars of the Music Hall are off entertaining the troops, so there’s only the pictures left.’

  ‘All us bored married women,’ Kate said with a smile. ‘Think what a contribution to the war effort we could make.’

  ‘Yeah, we might be the means of turning this war and planned invasion around completely,’ Susie responded in like vein.

  ‘Well, we can give it a bloody good try anyway,’ said Kate, getting to her feet as the factory came into view and the two girls ran giggling down the tram stairs.

  David spent the first afternoon of his leave with Nick at the Masons’ house, but they both went up to meet the girls from work that evening. Kate tingled all over when she emerged from the factory gates and saw David standing there. She flew into his arms. And then she took his face between her hands and examined him critically. ‘You are thinner,’ she said, ‘and there are blue tinges under your eyes.’

  ‘Well,’ said David, ‘you can put my thinness down to the culinary delights of NAAFI food, and the bags under my eyes to the fact that I don’t get much shut-eye.’

  ‘Right,’ Kate said. ‘I will see what I can do for both of those problems now you’re here at last.’

  ‘Looking forward to that,’ David said. ‘But how tired are you at the moment?’

  ‘It’s Friday night,’ Kate said. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘Are you too tired to walk home?’

  Kate thought a little teasing wouldn’t come amiss and, looking at him coyly, she said, ‘That would depend on who was asking me.’

  ‘You cheeky monkey,’ David said in mock annoyance. ‘I hope you would not walk home with any Tom, Dick or Harry. It’s me asking you – David Burton, your lawful wedded husband.’

  ‘Is it really?’ Kate said. ‘Well, as he was the one that I promised to love, honour and obey, I’d better accept.’ And with that she stepped on tiptoe so she could reach David’s face and, despite the others from the factory streaming past her, she kissed him gently on the lips. ‘Welcome home, darling,’ she said. ‘It is so good to see you.’

  ‘And you,’ David said, tucking her arm through his as they began to walk through the balmy evening. ‘I think of you a lot through the day and dream of you at night, and I live for your letters. I was real sorry to hear about Phil, by the way, and his mother too. It must have been a lot for Sally to cope with?’

  ‘Oh, it was,’ Kate said. ‘She took some time coming to terms with it. But she is all right now and working out her own salvation.’

  ‘Oh,’ David said. ‘What’s that?’

  Kate told him. ‘She says it will help her to get over her own tragedy helping others,’ she explained. ‘And it will certainly not allow her much time to think and brood.’

  ‘And it’s a very worthwhile thing to do.’

  Kate decided to bite the bullet, and so, taking a deep breath, she said, ‘Would you feel the same if I was to take it on too?’

  David looked at her and said, ‘You are joking?’

  ‘Why should I be joking?’

  There was a steely note to David’s voice as he said, ‘I would think that obvious. You are a married woman.’

  ‘Right. So my life stops, does it?’

  ‘Of course not,’ David said. ‘Now you’re being silly.’

  Kate pulled out of David’s embrace and faced him. In the evening sunlight he saw her eyes flashing as she said, ‘No, David, I am not being silly – remember, you are a married man.’

  ‘That’s different. Surely you can see that?’ David said.

  ‘No, I really can’t,’ Kate said. ‘How is it?’

  ‘Look, Kate …’ David began. ‘No, I can’t allow it. As an ARP warden you’ll be out in the teeth of the raids.’

  ‘I know that,’ Kate said. ‘And, as for you not allowing it, you can forget that for a start, because I’m not asking permission anyway. I am telling you what I am going to do, and if you say one word about my promising to love, honour and obey you, I will brain you, because this is something I must do.’

  ‘All right,’ David snapped angrily. ‘I won’t remind you of your vows, but that didn’t mean that the marriage didn’t happen. You did say those words and now, just months later, you are going to defy me.’

  ‘Yes, if that’s the way you want to think of it,’ Kate said a little sadly. ‘I really thought you might understand. I feel I must do this, in the same way you felt you had to join the RAF.’

  ‘Oh, tit for tat, is that it?’

  ‘Oh, don’t be so childish!’ Kate snapped. ‘Of course it isn’t.’

  ‘It’s dangerous work,’ David said. ‘I don’t think you understand—’

  ‘Of course I understand,’ Kate said testily. ‘I am not a fool. I suppose flying a fighter plane is as safe as a vicar’s tea party, is it?’

  David gave a wry smile. ‘Hardly, but Kate, you are a woman. It’s not right. I mean, won’t you be frightened?’

  ‘Sometimes probably,’ Kate said. ‘Aren’t you ever?’

  ‘We never talk about fear.’

  ‘But not talking about it does not mean you never experience it. You have had to learn to deal with it the same as I will.’

  ‘But I would worry about you so much.’

  ‘Oh, David,’ Kate cried. ‘Don’t you realize I have a sick knot of worry inside me all the time you are away, no doubt taking no end of risks? Again, that is something I have to deal with.’

  David still had a mulish face on and so Kate went on: ‘It’s a different world now, David, because it has to be. Women have had to work in places that formerly were male preserves: brass foundries, drop forges, all sorts of places. Haven’t you seen the women car mechanics and those driving lorries and buses and trams? And who do you think is making the machine-guns you fire and the rifles and the pistols and the bullets to go in them; who is making up the bombs and sewing the parachutes and the uniforms you wear? Me, making radiator grilles for Jeeps. I could go on and on. And we have women in the forces, don’t we?’

  ‘Yes, but the WAAFs usually only do the clerical work.’

  ‘All of them?’

  ‘Well, we do have women mechanics and fitters and such, but they don’t go into combat.’

  ‘But we won’t have a choice if the bombs come,’ Kate said. ‘Someone’s got to be out there helping wherever help is needed, and there are only women and old men left – and many of the older men have already been drafted into the Home Guard. And a lot of the women taking on extra duties like
these will be married, some of them mothers doing their bit to help win this dreadful war. I want to be part of it.’

  David wanted his Kate to be as safe as it was possible to be, if the bombing raids came, but he realized that he had married a woman with her own mind and one who was as stubborn as a mule. Despite the fact he was still a little annoyed with her high-handedness, he had a grudging admiration for her determination.

  ‘Come on, David,’ Kate said impatiently. ‘Sally said doing work like this will help her feel closer to Phil, and both Susie and I understand what she means.’

  ‘Is Susie involved in this as well?’ David said. ‘I might have known really.’

  ‘Yes, you should have,’ Kate said. ‘We’ll be like the three musketeers. And I bet Nick will be fully supportive of her decision, not like the grouch I’m married to!’

  David laughed and his irritation melted away, though the misgivings remained. ‘All right then,’ he said. ‘Join the wretched organization if it means so much to you. And while I’m still not totally happy about it, I am very proud of all three of you for even thinking about it.’ He took her arm again and they walked on for a while before he said, ‘That was our first argument. We have never disagreed about anything before.’

  ‘It wasn’t a bad fight,’ Kate said. ‘Not really. I just had to point out to you that I haven’t stopped being a person just because I’m married.’

  ‘I never thought you had, Mrs Burton?’ David said, and a jocular tone was back in his voice.

  ‘Well, it didn’t sound like that, Mr Burton,’ said Kate.

  ‘Is this what married life is all about?’ David asked.

  ‘I’m afraid it probably will be a lot of the time,’ Kate admitted. ‘Can you stand it, do you think?’

  ‘Oh, yes, my darling girl,’ said David. ‘I think I will be able to stand it very well indeed.’

  David was very impressed with the house they would now be living in, though he said Kate had described it well in her letters to him. When he saw Sally was already home, he was quick to offer his condolences to her. She thanked him, but her smile didn’t touch her eyes. They had a bleak look to them, and the bloom was gone from her cheeks, and he knew whatever public face she was putting on, she was still grieving. But it was early days yet, he thought as he followed behind Kate, who left Sally putting finishing touches to the meal while she showed David around. ‘It’s just great,’ he said when they arrived back in the kitchen. ‘I mean, it’s one thing hearing about it in a letter, but quite another seeing it,’ he said. He grabbed hold of Kate and kissed her as he added, ‘I think that we have been very lucky.’

  ‘Yes, and I had to snap it up while I had the chance.’

  ‘You did absolutely the right thing,’ David said. ‘But I’m surprised that you have no Anderson shelter – the garden is big enough.’

  ‘Ruby was offered one last November when they were first delivered to Birmingham,’ Sally said. ‘But she refused to have one.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Oh, she said that no Hitler was getting her out of her house into some hole in the ground like an animal, and that she would sit out any raids under the stairs.’ And then Sally smiled and went on: ‘No one could budge her. She could be a cussed old woman at times.’

  ‘Well, I don’t really think that is a very sensible option,’ David said. ‘And I couldn’t rest easy if I thought about you huddled under the stairs. If the house was hit then you could be buried.’

  ‘Bit late now though.’

  ‘No, I shouldn’t think so,’ David said. ‘The council have a sort of duty to try and keep you all safe, so you could enquire about that. I would have to dig the hole out for you, because it has to be four foot deep, and that will have to be done before any shelter can be delivered.’

  Kate wasn’t sure that she wanted to hide away in a hole in the ground any more than Ruby had, so she said, ‘Oh, don’t bother with that now. We’ll get it all seen to when you’ve gone.’

  ‘No, Kate, there’s no time to waste,’ David said. ‘Nick will help and maybe Susie’s dad, he’s a decent fellow.

  Pity Martin has been called up, because he is another strapping chap, but between us we’ll manage it. And it would be better to start first thing tomorrow.’

  And that’s exactly what happened. Saturday dawned fine and clear and, instead of walking through some leafy park and soaking up the sunshine and enjoying being together, Kate watched David and the other men begin digging up the turf of the scrappy little lawn and then slicing through the dusty earth beneath it. The dryness of the recent weather made light work of it, and so by the time they stopped for a bite to eat there was a sizeable hole just outside the kitchen door, deep enough to semi-bury the Anderson shelter as the government had advised people to do.

  Kate, surveying the hole later, said, ‘I know it’s safer, but in a way it brings the war a little closer.’

  ‘And that’s exactly why you needed the shelter,’ David said.

  A little later, as they sat side by side on the settee, David said, ‘I have something to tell you.’

  ‘Is it bad news?’

  ‘No … well, not really,’ David said. ‘Some might even consider it good news.’

  ‘Go on then.’

  ‘I’ve been made up to squadron leader, and so has Nick.’

  ‘Oh, but that’s wonderful, isn’t it?’

  ‘In a way, I suppose,’ David said. He didn’t say that they more or less had to be squadron leaders, because they were two of the few that had survived so far, but his face was very expressive and Kate guessed a lot by what he didn’t say. She gave a sudden shudder and David held her tight. ‘What’s going to happen?’ she said. ‘Surely, as squadron leaders, you are given more information?’

  David shook his head. ‘We are told nothing, my darling, and I have no wish to alarm you, but I feel we are moving into uncharted waters. Things will get much worse before they get better.’

  ‘Oh, David, I am so frightened about what is to come,’ Kate said.

  ‘Only a fool wouldn’t be at the very least nervous,’ David said. ‘Our backs are to the wall, no doubt about it. Civilians – men, women and children – will all be at risk, and you most of all, out in the teeth of raids, but I will not ask you to reconsider, because you are doing what you think is right and I am proud of you for that. But soon I may not be able to write much, so don’t worry unduly if letters are few and far between.’

  ‘D’you think I have a little worry button I can turn on and off at will?’ Kate said to David. ‘Of course I will worry when I don’t hear from you, but I will put up with it the best way I can. I suppose your leaves might be severely cut too.’

  David nodded. ‘I’d say so.’

  ‘Then let’s make the most of the limited time we have,’ Kate said, getting up and pulling David to stand beside her. Though it was only very early in the evening, she said, ‘Let’s go to bed.’

  David didn’t argue. ‘Yes,’ he said simply, and he took hold of Kate’s hand and led the way up the stairs.

  Three days after the men left, the Anderson shelter had been delivered, erected and sunk into the hole. Sally and Kate piled the earth on the top; as they worked, Sally said, ‘One of the women at work said that if you put enough earth on it you can grow things.’

  Kate stared at her. ‘What sort of things?’

  Sally shrugged. ‘Anything, I suppose. I mean, she said they grow potatoes. Everyone’s into growing stuff now, aren’t they, with the ships being sunk and all? I mean, what if there wasn’t enough food for everyone? There’s little enough now sometimes, but if there was even less we’d really be in the mire.’

  ‘I suppose we would,’ Kate said. ‘I never really thought that we might actually run out of food, but as we are an island it is a real possibility, with those bloody German U-boats attacking our shipping. That’s why they have dug up the flowerbeds in the parks and planted vegetables. All right then,’ Kate went on. ‘If they can do it, so
can we. Let’s put our backs into this and put the sandbags around and we can go and see if we can get some seeds. I think Hiron’s the flower shop are selling them now.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Sally said with some spirit. ‘Just let Hitler try and starve us out – he won’t win that way either.’

  ‘He won’t win it anyway,’ Kate said fiercely. ‘Otherwise young men like your Phil will have died in vain.’

  But though Kate spoke so bravely and bought and planted the seeds that same evening, she thought most of the country seemed to be waiting. Travelling anywhere was very difficult because street names, sign-posts and railway-station names had been obliterated to confuse German spies or an invading army. Posters were everywhere, proclaiming careless talk costs lives and be like dad and keep mum, and many German people – and Italians, too, now that they had joined the fray – were rounded up and put into internment camps.

  However, the girls’ plans to be ARP wardens continued, and the day they were due to start, Kate and Susie discussed it on the tram on their way to work. ‘Was your mother all right about it?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Susie said. ‘I didn’t say anything to my parents until Nick went and I told him not to mention it either. I didn’t want to risk spoiling his short leave with a scene. It was bad enough talking him round.’

  ‘I know, David was the same,’ Kate said. ‘We had a real fight about it in the end.’

  ‘Well, all told, Mom wasn’t bad at all,’ Susie said. ‘I mean, she made the usual noises, you know, but I reminded her about the boys and so then she shut up, especially when Dad came down on my side. Anyway, she’s getting a job herself and she dropped that bomb-shell at the dinner table last night.’

  ‘Golly, that is a surprise,’ Kate exclaimed. ‘Your mother working, fancy that. Where’s the job?’

  ‘You’ll never guess,’ Susie said, but without giving Kate time to answer, she said, ‘It’s in the jewellery quarter.’

  ‘Crikey!’

  ‘Apparently, a woman was talking about it after Mass last week and arranged an interview for Mom that she never told anyone about,’ Susie said. ‘She got it and starts next week and they are not making jewellery any more, she told us, but building radar instead.’