Tagan's Child

by ammyford1

  A pair of black beady eyes looked back at us in surprise. I let out the breath I had been holding. They belonged to an unsuspecting ewe who scooted off as fast as her legs and pregnant belly could carry her.

  “I think that’s our cue to leave,” he announced.

  “You’re right,” I sighed. For about eight glorious hours we had been untouchable, and as I had lain in Ahran’s arms my fears and worries had drifted to the background, but the intrusion of the outside world, even if it had only been by a sheep, had brought them all back. And to add to my not inconsiderable worries, I was now terrified that as we left this little hut in the middle of nowhere the little piece of heaven I had just experienced would shatter into a million tiny pieces.

  I clung to what Ahran and I had shared last night, but I was also acutely aware that we couldn’t allow ourselves to become distracted. Our priority was Toby and we couldn’t waste any time in finding him, he shouldn’t have to spend any longer in the grasp of Bazeera than he had to. I was trying my hardest to remain optimistic and concentrated on the when rather than the if. Toby had been away from me for two nights now. We hadn’t spent a night apart since Katie died.

  After one last look over the hut to make sure that everything was back in its place, it was with a heavy heart that I followed Ahran down the steps and headed out into the warm morning sun. We began to make our way around the perimeter of the massive field we were in and walked for a good hour in silence. Ahran set the pace in front and I trailed a few paces behind. I tried to keep up with him, although I knew I was holding him back. To make matters worse, I could feel him withdrawing with each step we took. I dragged in a deep, shaky breath and scanned the landscape to see if there was a sign of a road or anything that signalled we were nearing civilisation. All I could do was trust Ahran to get us out of here and back on our way to Toby. I also hoped that I hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of my life.

  Every now and again Ahran looked back and asked if I was alright. Each time I nodded and smiled but as the minutes turned to hours he barely said a word to me. I felt my optimism fading and the vindictive little voice in my head reminded me of all the reasons why a relationship with Ahran could never work. I was also starving. Hunger always put me in a bad mood. We’d had a breakfast of biscuits and a mug of water but my stomach was starting to ache uncomfortably. There was something about this place. Whether it was the greater concentration of oxygen in the air or the lack of pollution, I couldn’t be sure, but just being outside made you feel hungry. Just as I thought I might pass out from hunger pains I noticed a moving speck in the distance. I squinted to try and make out what it was.

  “Is that a car I can see?” It was the first time either of us had spoken for some time and my voice sounded hoarse.

  “It’s a livestock truck.”

  To me it just looked like a blurry moving dot on the horizon. This news buoyed my flagging spirits.

  “We might be able to catch a lift into the town,” Ahran speculated.

  This thought made me uneasy. I had never hitchhiked in my life. Wasn’t it common knowledge that you had to have a death wish to hitchhike? I’d seen ‘The Hitcher’ and it had scared me half to death. I touched the laser gun tucked in my waistband it comforted me to know that I also had Ahran who was a lethal weapon in his own right.

  It took us another twenty minutes to get to the road and I spent most of that time trying to block out images of slashed throats in my mind. Ahran took my hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze; he must have sensed my apprehension. It was the first contact we’d had since leaving the lambing hut and I can’t say it calmed my nerves, it just changed my focus.

  “Do you think this road goes to the town we were about to stop at on the train last night?” I asked.

  “I’m pretty sure it does.”

  “What are we going to do when we get there?”

  “Hire a car or get the train again if we have to.”

  Neither option thrilled me.

  “You haven’t heard any more from the King I take it?”

  “No, the battery on my phone died.”

  I felt disappointed that we had nothing more to go on and surprised and frustrated that for all their technological advances Ramians hadn’t come up with a phone that had a better battery life than the ones on Earth.

  We must have walked at least a mile and no vehicles passed us in that time until Ahran suddenly stopped and looked back down the road.

  “I can hear something.”

  I strained my ears, not able to hear anything other than the odd cricket and the long grass on the verge jostling in the breeze. It was some time before a vehicle came into view. As it came closer, it turned out to be another livestock truck, a huge hovering double trailer that was virtually silent except for its bleating cargo.

  Ahran flagged it down and my anxiety increased. The door slid open and Ahran leaned in to speak to the driver. A moment or two later he beckoned me towards him and I walked up to the cab expecting to see an overweight truck driver with a girly calendar pinned to the cab wall behind him, but instead the driver was a slightly built, middle-aged woman dressed in spotless, navy blue overalls.

  “Hello,” I said. Ahran lifted me into the cab. The woman replied in Ramian with a bright smile. She didn’t seem like a likely throat slasher. I breathed a small sigh of relief. Ahran jumped up beside me and the door slid shut behind him. The huge vehicle travelled with the ease and grace of a sleek limousine rather than a fifty tonne livestock truck. We made our way along the highway and I listened to Ahran and our unusual animal haulier making conversation. It was good to be making faster progress, even if the prospect of getting on another train or spending endless hours on the road filled me with dread. I concentrated on the scenery and tried to clear my mind. The landscape was flat and fairly uninteresting with fields upon fields of sheep or cattle with the odd isolated homestead dotted around.

  “The town is only about twenty minutes away,” Ahran said, breaking my reverie. “Orlena doesn’t seem to think that there are any car hire places, we might just have to risk taking the train again.”

  My heart sunk. Jumping off a train once was one time too many as far as I was concerned.

  The landscape became more built up as we neared the town. We hit the main street and the lorry slowed up and pulled over. We said our thank yous and jumped down onto the pavement.

  It was a bustling place and not as modern looking as the larger towns I’d seen in Ramia. It was neat and spotlessly clean and there was an abundance of hanging baskets, each with a profusion of brightly coloured flowers cascading down either side of most doorways. The place had a welcome feel about it but the thought of Bazeera’s people lying in wait dampened the welcoming vibe for me.

  “Let’s get some food first, you must be starving.”

  “Yes, aren’t you?” I said, surprised that his own hunger pains hadn’t driven him to distraction.

  “I am, but I’m kind of focussed when I’m on a trail. Will that do?” Ahran said, nodding towards a bakery a few doors down.

  “Perfect!” My mouth began to water as I fantasised about Cornish pasties. Would Cornwall’s most famous food export have made it to Ramia? As this trip progressed, I was becoming harder to surprise.

  Ahran enveloped my hand in his and we headed for the bakers. We were accosted by the most delicious smell of warm bread and coffee as we entered the bakery. Two tables were occupied, one by an elderly couple and the other by a mother and two small children. Neither party looked remotely like Bazeera’s agents. I relaxed a little. We went to the counter and I plumped for something that looked a bit like a round Cornish pasty. Ahran spoke to the woman whilst she served us.

  “Shall we sit down and eat?” he suggested, once he had paid. “I’ve ordered us some coffee.”

  “Great.” All I could think about was sinking my teeth into the pie. We chose a table towards the back of the shop, away from the window. I felt a pang as I thought of my little coffee sho
p at home and all the regular customers who had become an extended family of sorts. I had taken it all so much for granted. I thought about Audrey who was lying broken in a hospital bed because of me and I felt deeply guilty for not getting in touch since I had left Earth. She hadn’t deserved to get caught up in this tragic mess. I vowed to phone her at the very next opportunity.

  The woman who had served us at the counter brought our coffees over. She put the cups down and hesitated before addressing Ahran. They exchanged a few words and he nodded in response. The woman seemed pleased and returned to her position behind the counter.

  I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

  “We might not have to get the train after all,” he said.

  “Go on,” I encouraged.

  “That woman’s son is selling his car and she wondered whether we would be interested in buying it,” he reported.

  “Are we?” The thought of travelling by road was marginally more appealing than the train.

  “Maybe,” he said after finishing his mouthful. “Her son is bringing it here so we can have a look at it.”

  When we had finished the woman took us out through the back to where her son was waiting. The car was old and the autopilot no longer worked, but apart from that Ahran seemed satisfied it was in good working order and he bought it.

  Chapter 17

  We stopped at a convenience store on the edge of town and bought some supplies for our journey. Ahran seemed to think it might take us a couple of days to get to where the potential sighting of Toby had been. I was thankful to be moving forward once again. He drove and we settled into a comfortable silence.

  I couldn’t help wondering where his thoughts were taking him. Was he thinking about the night we had spent together? Or was he thinking about the trail we were following? Was he putting his own needs and feelings to the side to focus on the job in hand? I wished I could be more detached but there was too much at stake no matter which direction I looked in. I now not only had Toby to worry about, but I also had the precarious position my heart had found itself in to agonise over. I had a flashback of last night.

  Had it been the same for him? Our hearts had sung in that remote shepherd’s hut. What I was less certain about was whether he felt the same. Since we had left the hut this morning, there had been little indication that he did. Sure, he had held my hand a few times, but then he had done that on a number of occasions before. Maybe he was beginning to regret our night together. It was a painful thought.

  How had I allowed this to happen? You stupid, stupid idiot Sophie! Why had I not let Ahran get on and do his job whilst I stayed a safe distance away?

  “Are you okay?”

  How did he do it? It was like he was tuned into my own personal frequency of emotion.

  “I shouldn’t have come,” I said quietly.

  “Sophie, not this again,” he said, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

  “I’m of absolutely no use at all, if anything I’m holding you back,” I said, pleading my case.

  He was silent for a moment and I couldn’t help thinking he was trying to think of something tactful to say whilst not disagreeing with me.

  “There is nothing I would have done differently if you hadn’t have been here, I would still be in this same situation.”

  I looked at him disbelievingly. “You’re just saying that.”

  “I am just being honest,” he said in his own defence.

  It would have been easier if he had just agreed with me. I wanted to wrap myself in a cloak of self-deprecation. I wanted to punish myself for making Toby’s rescue more difficult than it needed to be and for falling for a man so out of my league it was ridiculous.

  I didn’t respond and stared out the window.

  “Sophie, Toby needs you. When we find him the only person he will want to see is you.”

  I broodily kept my silence. He had changed his tune since the King had used a similar line back at the palace.

  “I want you here,” he said softly.

  I turned to face him and the look in his eyes began to dissolve my doubts. Maybe last night had meant something to him after all.

  “How can you want me here? I have none of your ‘talents’. I’m an inferior human being in every way.”

  “Inferior?” He chuckled as if genuinely amused. “I admit there was a time when I thought your race was inferior, you were inferior.”

  That hurt a bit.

  “But you’ve changed my opinion. The rest of your race may be average but there is nothing average about you Sophie, you seem to forget that if it wasn’t for you in that motel room we would probably both be dead. You’re brave Sophie and an enemy with courage is a formidable opponent, you could give any of Bazeera’s agents a run for their money,” he said with a chuckle. I flushed at his compliment. “And…” he continued his voice lowering an octave, “there was nothing inferior about the way you behaved last night.”

  I felt my blush spread at his words. His smile indicated that it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  “I think we both got carried away last night,” I said, folding my arms across my chest. Was it an act of defiance or a feeble attempt to physically protect my heart from any further injury? I wasn’t sure.

  His eyes searched mine. “Do you regret what we did last night?” he challenged.

  Do I wish it had never happened? At the time it had felt so right, it had felt like our whole life’s purpose was to be together for those precious hours. But in the cold light of day, the enormity of my feelings frightened me and the chasm that was between us felt like it could never be breached. I was struggling to articulate how I felt as a myriad of emotions bore down on me.

  “Sophie. Do you regret last night?” It seemed very important he know the answer.

  “No, I don’t regret what happened last night,” I said quickly, I couldn’t lie to him. “All I’m saying is that it shouldn’t have gone as far as it did, it’s not the first time we’ve let ourselves get carried away and we need to put a stop to it,” I answered wearily. I was trying to protect myself, to rebuild the barriers that I had so foolishly allowed to crumble.

  “You are not making any sense,” he said and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

  “Do you want us to stop?” His voice sounded strained as he kept his eyes on the road.

  “I think we should just get on with finding Toby,” I finished.

  “You haven’t answered my question,” he pushed.

  I didn’t feel strong enough to cope with the feelings he was stirring in me.

  “Yes, I want us to stop,” I said angrily, knowing that this was my chance to stop the rail crash that had become my life.

  “I don’t believe you,” he said harshly.

  “What do you want from me Ahran?” I turned towards him, suddenly feeling very tired.

  “I want you,” he said his voice softening. “I can’t carry on as if last night didn’t happen and I don’t want to go back to my life without you in it.”

  My heart stopped at his words but my head was struggling to compute.

  “Ahran, we can’t possibly have a future together. We live in two completely different worlds. We aren’t even the same species!” I said with a humourless laugh.

  He looked at me as if to say, ‘you are kidding.’

  “Ahran, don’t act as if it doesn’t matter, it does,” I said, trying to be rational. “How can we possibly make a relationship work? Maybe you should reconsider a life with Talina. At least you share the same genetic make-up.” Never did I think that I would be using that as a reason to break up with a guy. “You might still have a chance of patching things up with her, you could put it down to a moment of pre-marital nerves.” Everything I was saying went against everything I felt but at least one of us had a chance of coming out of this with a shot at happiness.

  Ahran sighed in frustration. “Talina and I do not have a future together, we would end up making each other miserable. How can I make you understand t
hat?”

  “I don’t want to be held responsible for breaking up your relationship. What happened last night was a moment of weakness, it doesn’t have to mean anything, people do it all the time and still manage to return to their lives, no harm done.” If only I felt the conviction of my words.

  “Sophie, I may not have known you long but I know that what happened last night meant something …” He tried to catch my eye. I stubbornly kept my eyes trained on the road. “And I certainly don’t hold you responsible for the breakup of my relationship,” he continued. “There were serious problems even before I met you. I had been so focussed on buying the farm I hadn’t given myself time to work out what they really were, I just tried to ignore them thinking our love would grow. It was a classic case of denial. I am just thankful that meeting you made me realise what a mistake I was making.” He paused as if he was searching for the right words. “And as for last night being a moment of weakness, I knew exactly what I was doing and I wouldn’t change a second of it.”

  I turned to face him feeling so utterly torn by what he was saying.

  “I want to be with you Sophie,” he confessed. “And I want to do what we did last night and more again and again.” There was a hint of desperation in his voice I hadn’t heard before and it was ruining me. He was saying exactly what I wanted to hear but at the same time exactly what I didn’t want to hear. This gorgeous, superhuman man was declaring his feelings for me.

  “How can we possibly have a future Ahran? I don’t belong here and you couldn’t live in Hatherley. You’ve got the farm and your future is all mapped out, I couldn’t expect you to change that, you’ve worked so hard for it.”

  “We could work it out together.”

  “Oh God Ahran, you are making it so difficult for me to do the right thing.”

  “It isn’t a matter of doing the right thing Sophie, it’s a matter of letting fate take its course.”

  “You believe in fate?” This surprised me, he had seemed so pragmatic.