SevenSensuousDays
Page 18
“Yeah,” Logan murmured. “Us.”
Tessa’s lips parted. Surely, he couldn’t mean what she thought.
“When you said goodbye to me at my place,” he said, “you told me to be happy. I want that too. That’s why I’m here. I missed you, Tessa. God, how I’ve missed you.”
The world stopped.
He reached for her, then lowered his hand, as though he remembered he didn’t have the right to touch her. Not as he had at his place.
“You missed me?” she whispered.
He spoke on an edgy sigh, “I can’t stand not being with you. I can’t fight this insane desire to get close. These last weeks have been fucking awful.”
Tears filled Tessa’s eyes. “I don’t understand.” She shook her head. “You never called. You didn’t even book me through the agency.”
“That’s not what I wanted or need,” he said hurriedly. “I want something real with you. An honest-to-god relationship. Us getting to know each other, being friends and lovers, building our lives together…if you want that too.”
It’s all Tessa had fantasized about since meeting him. And now he was handing it to her? Just like that? The thought was so stunning, she spoke without thinking, “You want me all to yourself?”
“If that means no other men, then yeah.”
He meant it. Tessa saw it on his face. It was wonderful, but didn’t make sense. “What about you and Georgiana?”
Confusion raced across his features. “Who?”
“The lady you took to that formal dinner.”
Surprise replaced his previous bafflement. “You know about that?”
Yeah. She’d cried about it for days. “Georgiana told Felicity. You remember me mentioning her, right? My friend who told me about you at the auction?”
“I remember. Why did Felicity tell you about that dinner?”
“She knew I missed you and didn’t want me to keep hoping for someone I couldn’t have.”
He smiled, sobered, then smiled again. “Then you did miss me?”
“Of course I did,” she cried. “How can you even ask?”
He gestured helplessly. “I wasn’t sure how you felt, Tessa.”
Because he hadn’t wanted her to feel. He’d wanted her to remain an escort.
Tessa backed away, then moved toward him again, her emotions tangled. “That’s why you made an appointment with Georgiana, instead of with me? Because you didn’t know how I felt?”
He sighed. “What I feel for you scared me. I didn’t want to risk being with you and then losing you like…the way I’d lost everything else. It was too much.” He pushed his fingers through his hair. “I thought if I didn’t see you again, I’d be able to cope. But it didn’t work. Nothing happened with Georgiana. I put her in a cab after the dinner. That’s the last I saw of her. I drove back to my estate that same night, because I couldn’t stop comparing her to you. How her hair should have been honey blonde, not red. Her eyes green, not blue. Her body lush, not so skinny. Her conversation genuine, real, not simply telling me what I wanted to hear because I was paying for it.”
Tessa’s pulse had ticked up with each word he’d said. She could hardly breathe. “Then you really are serious about this.”
“Absolutely. For weeks, I’ve been trying to find out where you live.”
She pressed her hands to her chest. “You missed me that much?”
“Hell yeah.”
“You want me that badly?”
“More than you can imagine.”
“When?”
He shook his head. “When what?”
“Did you start to really want me?”
Logan smiled. “From the second I saw you on the stage. It just got more intense from that moment forward. You dazzled me, baby.”
My god, this was really happening. Tessa swallowed. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
She hesitated, then spoke from the heart. “Will you hold me?”
Logan embraced her without pause, his caress tender and loving, everything Tessa had missed.
She wreathed her arms around him, face pressed to his shoulder, and held tight.
He stroked her hair. “I missed you, Tessa. So damn much.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”
“My fault. I shouldn’t have—”
“Shhh,” she said, hushing him, holding him even closer.
They stayed that way for minutes, comforting and protecting each other, pushing away the hurt. All the years of being alone, unwanted, uncertain.
Finally, Tessa lifted her face to his.
Without words or hesitation, they came together easily, in a deep, wet, lingering kiss that nourished Tessa’s soul, filling it with faith in the future rather than loneliness. For a long while, she wouldn’t let Logan go, nor would he allow her any distance from him.
When they finally parted, they rested their foreheads against each other’s.
“You really want us to know everything about each other?” she asked. “Good and bad?”
Logan pulled back and studied her. “Whatever you’re willing to share. As far as I can see, there isn’t anything bad about you. It’s all good.”
She smiled through her tears. “You’re pretty okay too.”
“Pretty okay?” He arched one eyebrow and chuckled. “I thought I was damn perfect.”
Tessa glanced at his fly and teased, “Well, part of you certainly is.”
Rather than laughing, uncertainty passed over his face.
Suddenly, Tessa realized what he must have been thinking given what she’d said. How thoughtless of her.
“Your scars don’t bother me,” she murmured, wanting to get that out of the way, knowing how his previous injuries would always give him pause and heartache, reminding him of what he’d lost. “They’re not an imperfection. They’re a part of you. Just like my weight’s part of who I am.”
He shook his head. “Tessa.”
“What?”
“There’s nothing wrong with your weight, okay? I like you just as you are. Because of the way you are. Ripe. Luscious. I hope you know that.”
She did and would be forever awed by it. He’d returned her dignity. “I do. And I don’t want you changing anything about yourself either. You’re right. You’re perfect.”
Gratitude, and what looked to be the beginning of love, shone in his eyes. “Thanks, but I’m not even close. However, I did do one thing right in my life…let me show you something.”
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Inside the first plastic photo sleeve was a picture of a little boy and girl. Connor and Samantha.
“My kids,” he said, then cleared his throat, his voice grown husky with sorrow. “I loved them so damn much and didn’t hesitate to let them know that every day. That’s what I’m proudest of. Look at them here.”
Tessa leaned into Logan as he showed her photo after photo of his children at the seashore, Disney World, playing in a well-manicured backyard. Connor resembled him closely. Samantha was a miniature version of Nicole.
“They were sweet kids,” he murmured. “The best.” He touched Samantha’s cheek, her bright smile. “I adored that little girl as if she were my own—hell, she was. Connor made every day brighter.”
“I know.” Tessa gathered Logan in her arms, caressing him to her.
“I’m all right,” he said.
He would be. She’d see to it.
They held each other until Logan cleared his throat once more and eased away. He returned the wallet to his pocket. “I’m okay, really.”
Tessa wanted to thumb the tears from the corners of his eyes, but didn’t, respecting his desire for a little distance from the past. A chance to regroup before he told her more about it.
She nodded to let him know she’d heard what he’d said. “Would you like a beer?”
“I don’t need anything to drink. I’m fine. We could get something to eat if you want. A burger? Pizza?
”
“Maybe later.” Tessa stepped back. Because of their uncertainties and fears, they’d lost so much time, left so much undone. “There’s stuff we need to do first.”
“What stuff?”
Tessa thought about how he hadn’t spanked her again as he’d promised. She thought about other things too. “Take off your clothes.”
He blinked, then smiled. “Okay.”
Tessa pulled a chair away from her small kitchen table and put it in the middle of the linoleum floor. “Once you’re naked, sit here.” She pointed to the padded vinyl seat.
“Why? You don’t have a bedroom in this place?” He glanced at her sofa and floor, appraising both as possible substitutes.
“I do,” she said, “but I want you to sit. Be right back.”
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom.”
He asked no more. From there, she heard Logan pacing a bit, then finally undressing…the thud of his sandals hitting the floor, the muffled whoosh of his tee, jeans, and underwear following. The legs of the chair scraped the linoleum as he sat.
Gripping the edge of her sink, Tessa pulled in as much air as she could. This was really happening. He was actually here. His need of her unmistakable. She recognized the truth of that in his expression, heard it in his words.
How had it happened? Who cared? It had.
Tessa suppressed tears and a squeal of pure joy, thinking that she’d have to call Ronnie tonight or tomorrow, whenever she had the chance. Tell her about the change in plans…that she wouldn’t be returning to the agency.
As far as earning a living, she’d go back to styling hair or maybe take those courses to become a shrink. Whatever her future held, she’d decide it later. Right now, Tessa had other things to consider.
She grabbed what she needed from one of the drawers. When she was ready for Logan, she padded into the kitchen.
He stared at her nudity, the garnets dangling from her navel, the delicate curls between her legs that had grown back since they’d last been together. His face registered his surprise and pleasure, until he noticed the scissors she held. Tessa held up her other hand, showing him the comb. “You need a trim.”
“You’re going to cut my hair?”
“Someone has to. Then I’m giving you a shave. Hold this.” She handed over the scissors and comb.
Logan looked at them until Tessa straddled his lap, easing her cunt over his sudden erection. The lovely thing blossomed beneath her pussy. Her breath puffed out and so did his.
“Don’t move,” she warned.
He stopped wiggling his body, trying to get closer to hers. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I can go faster if you behave.”
“Or we could forget about the trim altogether.”
“Clearly, you’ve never been trimmed by me.”
He laughed. A wondrous sound. Unrestrained. Young. Filled with promise.
Taking back her equipment, Tessa combed his hair and teased, “After I’m done here, I’ll work on your groin.”
His smile turned into a grin. “Like hell you will.”
“Your pits?”
“Not in this life.”
“I thought you wanted to be friends.”
He looked at her with wonder, then wrapped his arms around her hips, his palms on her ass. “I do. Tell me about you, please. Everything. Then I’ll take my turn.”
As Tessa trimmed his hair and shaved him, she told Logan about her parents, then her stepmother, how she really felt growing up with a woman who wasn’t her mom. How awful it had been when her stepsisters made fun of her. She related the good times in high school when she and her friends had read bodice-rippers in the john during lunch, and the not-so-good years when the other girls had bullied her because she wasn’t skinny, gorgeous, or rich like some of them.
Logan listened. He commiserated and then told Tessa about Nicole, what the papers, Internet, and newscasts hadn’t revealed. The baffling jealousy. His bewilderment and desperate attempts to make things right.
They talked well through the night until the following morning. Sharing. Empathizing. At times, weeping. Often laughing. Then finally loving, really loving, their bodies close, limbs entwined, breaths mingled.
Before they finally fell asleep on their first day back together, Tessa whispered, “Are Molly and Jack all right?” With all that had happened, she’d forgotten about the pups.
Logan finished his yawn and murmured, “Mr. and Mrs. Winters, my caretakers, have them until I get back. I gave them—the Winters—hazard pay.”
“Oh no. Those sweet little babies are misbehaving? Jack’s started to watch doggy porn? Molly’s into a fast-talking stray?”
Logan laughed, the sound content and weary. “The pups have missed you too. More than you know.”
“Tell me,” Tessa said, snuggling close.
Logan did. Holding nothing back. Opening up to her like the friends they were, the lovers they’d become, the couple she hoped they would always be.
Epilogue
Ten months later
“This afternoon’s supposed to be about having a good time,” Logan said.
Tessa nodded and kept scrolling her laptop’s screen, the small computer perched on her thighs.
“You don’t have to look up anything or study for this,” he added. “No one’s going to quiz you.”
Good to know since she hadn’t done any research for today. Damn. Why hadn’t she thought of that? It wasn’t like her to be unprepared. “You’re certain no one will expect me to know anything.”
“Not about what my work has done.” He flicked the SUV’s turn signal and made a right. “If there’s something you want to know about that, just ask. You don’t have to look it up.”
“I’m not researching your work.”
Logan leaned over, trying to see her screen. “What is that then?”
“My courses for summer school.”
She’d aced her first semester finals the week before. With a little luck, a lot of sweat, and no sleep, she’d be able to graduate from Georgetown in less than four years with a degree in psychology, then pursue her Psy.D.—Doctor of Psychology—and licensing. Tessa already knew she wanted to work primarily with ill children, helping them to cope with their medical problems.
Good guy that he was, Logan had offered to pay for her school. She’d insisted on a loan, with interest. Not the outrageous kind most credit cards were demanding, but something fair. He’d suggested zero percent. Tessa had lobbied for a rate closer to four. What the feds charged for their loans.
“You can’t be serious,” he’d argued. “I’m not the government. I don’t want interest. Hell, I have more money than I know what to do with.”
She’d kissed him and murmured, “Then spend it on someone who needs it.”
His wealth had nothing to do with their relationship. If he hadn’t had a dime, she wouldn’t have cared. Tessa would have supported him. Thankfully, she could take care of herself and was making a fair amount of money on the side styling Ronnie’s hair and that of the agency escorts.
After losing their loan argument, Logan had offered to set Tessa up in a small shop so she wouldn’t have to make house calls to do anyone’s hair. She’d refused. The only thing she’d gone along with was moving into his house in the District. The Virginia mansion had always been too big for one man. Too far from her, he’d said. He’d sold the estate and settled closer.
On Valentine’s Day, which marked their first night living together, they’d finally admitted their love, unable to help themselves any longer. Before then, it had been too scary. Neither of them had wanted to rush things, deciding it’d be better to take it slow. Get to know each other. Small stuff like his near addiction to Whoppers when everyone knew Big Macs were clearly better. Big stuff like a medical device problem he hadn’t been able to solve, leaving a child at risk.
Logan hadn’t been easy to live with during those times, worry and pessimism consuming him. Tessa
wasn’t a saint either, especially when she wanted a whole box of Krispy Kremes and knew she shouldn’t have them. If not for the sake of her poor butt and thighs, then her health.
She and Logan had struggled through those moments together, keeping their bitching to the absolute minimum.
He checked the street, then leaned toward her. “Sure you want to go to this thing? It’s all right if you don’t and would rather work on your school stuff. Take the SUV. You can pick me up later.”
“No way.” She closed her laptop and patted his thigh. “I’m looking forward to this. I was only checking my classes because I had a ton of time. You’re driving really slow.”
He checked the speed. “I’m doing ten miles over the limit.”
“Like I said, slow.”
Smiling, he took a left, heading for the private estate. When Ronnie had learned about Logan’s plans for today, she’d asked the owner to open up his grounds. He was a regular at the agency and didn’t dare say no.
The weather was also behaving, the temperature a spectacular mid-seventies with no clouds. It reminded Tessa of the day Wallace had driven her to Logan’s.
God, so much had changed since then.
In the SUV’s backseat, Molly hugged the right door, Jack the left. They hung their heads out the windows, tongues dangling over their jaws. The pups had reached full size months ago, which made them pretty damn huge. Even so, they were still her and Logan’s babies.
Their only babies, for now.
They hadn’t yet talked about building a family, still not wanting to rush things. There was so much to do first. To get right.
Tessa smiled at the colorful balloons tied to the estate’s iron gates. Two guys dressed in khakis and sport shirts came from around the corner, their grim expressions proving they were security guards.
She made a face to match theirs. “You rich people are so uptight.”
“Relax, darlin’.” Logan spoke sotto voce. “They’ll only take a DNA swab and some hair samples.”
“Which hair?” Since being with him, she hadn’t gotten another Brazilian wax. He preferred her au naturel.
“Not that,” he said, arching one eyebrow.