Nell and Lady: A Novel
Page 18
“I’d like to explain, if I may.” She sat down gently on the bed. “You see, those years were difficult. Mama’s death was hard on me . . . and then . . . after the way Daniel treated me . . . Well, I was determined to make it on my own. I convinced myself that I didn’t need you in my life. I allowed foolish things, like the color of our skin, to cloud my judgment.”
Nell readjusted Willa’s finger pulse oximeter and watched her oxygen saturation level increase. “There, now that’s better.”
Nell continued, “When I was growing up, our home was like a hippie commune of mothers and daughters living together as sisters.” Nell snickered. “Except for poor Mr. Bellemore. I can only imagine how he felt being surrounded by so many women. No wonder he spent so much time on his boat. He was a good sport about it, though. He never seemed to resent our presence in your lives.”
She traced the outline of Willa’s thin leg beneath the blanket. “Thanks to you, Miss Willa, Mama and I had a good life. You were a second mother to me from the day I was born, my adopted mother long before you signed the papers.
“You need to get well so that I can make up for all the heartache I’ve caused you. I’ve deprived all of us the opportunity to be a family. I’ve deprived my son the chance to know his grandmother. And Regan and Booker the chance to be cousins. But it’s not too late. You just need to get better.
“I’m having some trouble in my life, Miss Willa. My husband has left me for another woman. Breaking up after twenty-eight years of marriage is difficult, even if it’s for the best. I could use some of your comforting words right about now. I always valued your advice. For the life of me, I don’t know why I never told you about Daniel. I guess I was scared that you’d stop loving me. Maybe—”
Lady stormed into the room. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Nell jerked her head around. “Geez, Lady. You shouldn’t sneak up on a person like that. You scared me.”
“I thought I told you to stay away from us.”
Lady, who’d obviously been at the hospital all night, was still wearing the same rumpled khakis and faded long-sleeve T-shirt from the day before. Nell, having worked the overnight shift many times, doubted she’d gotten much sleep from the constant interruptions.
Lady dropped her purse on the desk beside the TV. “You can’t just swoop in at the eleventh hour expecting her to forgive you. Not after the way you treated her.”
Nell sprang to her feet. “Were you eavesdropping on me?”
“So what if I was? I need to know what you said to her so that I can do damage control if and when she wakes up. We were living a quiet existence until you came back into our lives. You’ve caused this family enough pain to last a lifetime.” Lady strode across the room to the door. “Now please leave,” she said, gripping the knob.
“You’re not without fault here, Lady. You were jealous of the way Willa treated me, and you acted like a spoiled brat. Come to think of it, not only did you act like a spoiled brat, you were a spoiled brat. Your mother granted you anything your little heart desired. And you couldn’t stand it when you had to share her with me.”
“Why you—” The sounding of alarms interrupted Lady midsentence. She turned to the monitors. “What is it? What’s going on?”
“She’s going into cardiac arrest.” Nell rushed to the door and yelled down the hall, “Code Blue! Stat!”
Nurses crowded into the room with a redheaded female doctor on their heels. Nell pulled Lady out of the way, and they hovered near the doorway as the medical staff prepared to defibrillate the patient. She noticed Lady sucking on a fistful of her T-shirt, like she used to suck on her favorite ratty blanket as a child. Out of habit, she tugged on Lady’s arm. “Stop sucking your shirt, Lady.”
Lady smacked Nell’s hand away. “Don’t you dare touch me,” she said in a voice loud enough to get everyone’s attention.
Glancing over her shoulder, the doctor suspiciously eyed Nell’s scrubs and ordered her to clear the room. Nell dragged Lady out into the hall and stood near the doorway, listening to the commotion inside until Willa was out of danger.
Nell turned toward Lady. “Sounds like her heart is back in rhythm. You should go be with her.”
Lady’s blue eyes were wide with fear, and a sheen of sweat covered her face. Nell knew little about Lady’s present-day life. Or her life for the past thirty-plus years. Based on her temperament of late, in the parking lot the day before and in the room just now, Nell suspected her old friend might be unstable.
Worried the redheaded doctor might question why she was harassing a family member, Nell started moving toward the elevator to avoid further contact. She wouldn’t put it past Lady to file a complaint, and she’d worked too hard to let Lady ruin her career.
“Wait! You can’t leave now!” Lady said, hustling along beside her. “We need you here.”
“I have to get back to my floor, Lady. My lunch break is almost over.”
Lady tossed her hands in the air. “Fine! Walk away. That’s what you always do anyway.”
Nell glanced at her watch. “Look, Lady, my patients will come searching for me if I’m not back soon. And since my presence is obviously a source of agitation and discomfort for you, I see no point in staying. Miss Willa’s in good hands. The staff will get you anything you need.”
She stepped to the nearby elevator and punched the up button. Removing her new phone from her pocket, she accessed her apps, created a new contact, and typed in Lady’s name. “What’s your number?” Lady mumbled her number, and Nell entered it into the phone. She tapped out a text—This is Nell—and pressed send. “Now you have my number. Call me if there is anything I can do, either in a professional capacity or if you just want me to sit with Willa while you grab a bite to eat. I can usually get away, as long you give me a few minutes’ notice.”
“We’ve gotten along fine all these years without you. Somehow I think we’ll survive.” Lady spun on her heel and stormed off down the hall.
Nell gaped at her retreating back. A minute ago, she was begging her to stay. Same old Lady, never could make up her mind.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
WILLA
Willa woke with a start from a dream she couldn’t recall. She slipped on her robe and trudged down the stairs to the kitchen where Mavis waited with tea for her at the table.
She lowered herself to the chair next to her old friend. “I’m feeling my age these days, May May. How is it you continue to look so young when my bones ache, my skin sags, and my hearing’s so bad I can’t hear myself think?”
Mavis’s lips parted in a smile as she lifted her fingers to her cheek. “Must be my night cream.”
Willa’s mouth dropped open. “You actually spoke to me! After decades of one-sided conversations, you’re talking to me again?”
She laughed. “Just this once.”
Willa relished the sound of Mavis’s laughter in her kitchen. She eyed her grandmother’s Limoges tea service and a plate of cheese biscuits. “I see you brought out the good china and made cheese biscuits. What’s so special about tonight?”
“We used to make all our important decisions over a proper cup of tea. Remember?”
“I’m confused, though. What decision are we making tonight?”
“Hold your horses. We’ll get to that in a minute.” Mavis poured two cups of tea, adding a spoonful of sugar to one and a drop of cream to the other. “First, have one of these.” She passed her the plate of cheese biscuits.
Willa took a cheese biscuit and bit it in half. “These are divine. They’re fluffier than usual. What’d you do different?”
“Must be the altitude.” As Mavis spread her arms wide over her head, the walls of the kitchen vanished, and the linoleum floor dropped out from beneath them, leaving them surrounded on all sides by deep-blue sky.
Willa gripped the edge of the table. “What on earth?”
“Earth’s down there,” Mavis said, lowering her gaze.
Willa craned
her neck to see patches of land and bodies of water thousands of miles beneath them. “I don’t understand, May May. What’s happening?”
Mavis stroked Willa’s arm. “No need to be afraid, Miss Willa. You’re not alone.” She slid the teapot between them and opened the lid. “Look inside.”
Willa peered down inside the pot. What she saw took her breath away. “That’s me! In a hospital bed! Am I dying?”
“That’s for you to decide.”
She gulped back fear. “Since when does one have a say over whether they live or die?”
Mavis lifted a plump shoulder. “Happens sometimes. You’ve been sending us mixed signals. You told me yourself, you’re ready to join the afterworld, yet we’re getting vibes that you’re nervous about leaving your loved ones. I’m here to help you decide if your mission on earth is complete.”
“How do I make a monumental decision like that?”
“The same way you make any decision—by looking at it from every angle.” She nodded at the teapot. “Have a peek.”
An image of Regan at Willa’s bedside suddenly appeared inside the teapot. “That’s my granddaughter. But I can’t hear what she’s saying.”
“Oops. I forgot to turn the volume up.” Mavis snapped her fingers, and Regan’s sad voice filled the air.
Willa white-knuckled the collar of her bathrobe as she listened to Regan pouring her heart out to her.
“You’re an important part of her life,” Mavis said. “She’ll miss you if you die.”
“Perhaps I’m too important to her. Is it possible my relationship with Regan has come between my granddaughter and her mother?”
“You tell me. It ain’t my job to answer the questions, Miss Willa. I’m merely here to listen.”
Willa returned her attention to the teapot, where Lady had taken center stage. Despite her tired and bedraggled appearance, it was obvious her daughter was taking excellent care of Willa.
“What’s this?” Willa asked when she saw Lady emptying a flask in the bathroom sink. “She’s pouring out her booze. Does this mean she’s ready to quit drinking?”
Mavis held a finger to her lips. “Shh! Listen.”
The hospital room faded away, and a small chapel of sorts came into view. “You’ve come to the right place if you’re looking for strength,” an elderly black woman was saying to Lady. “Ask Jesus to walk at your side, and he will hold your hand through whatever lies ahead.”
Willa looked up from the teapot to study Mavis’s face. She had the same slight dimple on the right side of her mouth as the woman in the pot. “Is that you?”
“Deep down inside, Lady is ready to clean up her act, Miss Willa. But she has a difficult road ahead.”
“I love my daughter with all my heart, but I’m not sure she has it in her to quit.”
Mavis’s jaw tightened. “One thing’s for sure—she can’t do it alone.”
“You don’t know, May May. You haven’t been around for thirty-nine years. My expectations regarding my daughter are low for a reason. She’s disappointed me one too many times.”
“Let me give you a little heavenly advice, Miss Willa. Your low expectations are your problem, and you need to fix them. If you don’t believe in her, Miss Lady will sense it.”
“I’m sure she already does.”
Willa looked back inside the teapot. This time Nell was at her bedside, pleading with her not to die. Willa gasped, and her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh no! Poor Nell. Her husband left her for another woman.” Willa listened with brow furrowed and head cocked to the side. “She apologized for shutting me out of her life. Do you think she means it?”
“My Nell made some bad decisions in her life, but I believe she’s ready to own up to them.”
“She mentioned Daniel. I didn’t realize the two of them even knew each other.”
“There’s a lot you don’t understand about the past, Miss Willa. It’s up to you how much you want to know.”
Mavis closed the lid on the pot and topped off their cups with tea. When she set the teapot down again, Willa lifted the lid. “What happened to them? They disappeared.”
“Assuming they were ever there in the first place,” Mavis said with a glint in her eye as she sipped her tea.
“This dream or hallucination”—Willa held her arms out wide—“whatever this thing is, is getting weirder by the minute.”
Mavis winked at her. “Welcome to heaven.”
Willa’s eyebrows shot up. “Is that where I am, in heaven? What happened to me deciding whether I want to live or die?”
“Oh. Sorry. That’s a phrase we use up here like you earthly beings say Welcome to the real world.” She turned her bulky body to face Willa. “Before you decide whether you want to live or die, you must first experience a little slice of heaven.” She took hold of Willa’s hands. “Now close your eyes and try to relax.”
Closing her eyes, Willa allowed the tension to drain from her body. Soft music filled the air, and a calm she could only describe as serenity came over her. She experienced no worries or desires or hunger or pain. She simply existed, floating high above the earth on her own cloud. The peace was so consuming she couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes again.
Some minutes later, she heard Mavis’s soft voice near her ear. “Nice, ain’t it?”
“Hmm-mm. I’ve never felt this kind of contentment before.”
Mavis clapped her hands, and Willa snapped out of her dreamlike state.
“Tell me something,” Mavis said. “What exactly were you after when you asked Lady to find Nell?”
Tension returned to Willa’s body. “I wanted to see her one last time.”
“Come now, Miss Willa. You can’t lie to an angel.”
“I’m not lying to you, May May. I just don’t know how to answer your question, because I’m uncertain of my motives. I was looking for closure, I guess. And I wanted to apologize to Nell for letting her down.”
“What’re you talking about? You did more for my child than any woman could ever ask of another.”
“That’s not true, and you know it. You would’ve done the same for Lady.”
Mavis looked away. “Except that I didn’t have the means to provide for her the way you provided for Nell. Because of your generosity, Nell got to go to college and become a nurse. You made sacrifices for my daughter that no other white woman I knew back then would’ve made. You ignored your friends when they talked behind your back. You always took up for Nell. You treated her like your own.”
“Because I thought of her as my own.” Willa paused, willing herself to continue despite the tightness in her throat. “Especially after you were gone. Please believe me when I tell you I tried, May May. Even after her graduation, when she told us she no longer wanted to be a part of our lives, I tried to stay in touch. I sent cards and letters to the last address I had for her in Atlanta. Those cards and letters went unanswered for a couple of years, until one day a birthday card came back with one of those stamps showing Return to Sender, Forwarding Address Unknown.”
“Those years were hard for her.” Mavis draped one arm across her ample chest. “She got lost. In some ways, she still ain’t found her way.”
“Do you know why she cut us out of her life?”
“I do, but I’m not at liberty to say. I can tell you this much—figuring that out is the first step to finding your closure.”
“According to what Regan said in there,” Willa began, pointing at the teapot, then, realizing the absurdity of talking about people she’d seen in a teapot, she quickly retracted her finger, “Booker claims that Daniel acted inappropriately toward Nell at Lady’s sixteenth birthday party. Which makes sense, since that’s around the time Nell began to act strange.”
“That’s as good a place to start as any.”
“It’s not just me, you know. Now that Booker and Regan have been dragged into this mess, we need closure for the sake of the whole family.” Willa fell back in her seat. “I should just quit whil
e I’m ahead. I don’t have the energy for this. I’m a dying woman. Let them figure it out on their own after I’m gone. Or not. I can’t force them to make nice. They adored each other when they were girls. Maybe their relationship isn’t important to them.”
Mavis pushed the teapot in front of her. When Willa opened the lid, Nell’s and Lady’s angry voices escaped. “Folks don’t argue unless something means something to them.”
“I guess you’re right, May May.” Willa sighed. “If I don’t die now, how much longer do I have to live?”
“You’ll know when your time’s up.” At the snap of her fingers, the walls and floor returned to the kitchen. Standing, Mavis loaded a tray with the dishes and carried them to the sink. “If I may, I’d like to ask a favor,” she said with her back to Willa as she rinsed the dishes.
“Name it,” Willa said, coming to stand beside her.
“I’d like for you to meet my grandson. He seems like a fine boy. I want you to tell him about his grandmama.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LADY
During summers as a young girl, Lady used to sneak into her mother’s room while she was napping in the afternoons. Stretched out on the green velvet chaise longue in front of their home’s only air-conditioning window unit, she’d kept one eye on her mother, watching for signs that she might be stirring, and one eye on her novel, usually the latest in the Nancy Drew series. Her mother’s planned activities for the late afternoons were the high points of Lady’s days, a bike ride to the market or a trip to Peoples Drug for a Coca-Cola float at the soda fountain. Despite all those long summer hours of waiting for her mother to wake up, Lady had never been as excited to see Willa blink her eyes open as she was that day in the hospital.
Lady moved to the edge of her seat, closer to the bed. “Welcome back, Mama.”
Willa grabbed hold of Lady’s hand. “You have no idea how glad I am to be here. I feel like I’ve been to heaven and back.” She let out a girlish giggle. “I love you, my darling child. I’m here to support you if you’re ready to quit drinking.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Are you saying you heard me?”