Finding Home

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “I’ll hire someone, but I prefer it not be Naomi.”

  Dr. Brouwer only nodded, then looked past him, and by the all-too-familiar tingle at the back of his neck he knew Naomi stood behind him.

  He turned, catching a look of puzzled hurt, which was quickly replaced by a forced smile and a light laugh.

  “Hire me for what?” she asked, her voice even. As if that moment of weakness had never happened.

  “I was trying to persuade Jess to hire you as a personal nurse for his sister,” Dr. Brouwer said.

  “Probably not a good idea,” she said quietly, then walked past them both, her ponytail bobbing behind her.

  Dr. Brouwer glanced from Naomi to Jess, his frown clearly showing his puzzlement.

  Jess turned back to Dr. Brouwer. “So what are my other options?”

  Dr. Brouwer lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I can ask around and see if one of the part-time nurses here would be willing to work a few extra days.”

  “Let me know what you find out.”

  Dr. Brouwer nodded and Jess walked back to his stepsister’s bed, the weight of her care dragging at him with hard, heavy hands.

  Even if his mother did come back, he was fairly sure she wouldn’t be much help for Brittany.

  He stood beside her, looking down at this girl who he barely knew. She looked so lost and alone, his heart went out to her. His mother had been an absent mother to him for much of his life, too.

  As for his father?

  Jess curled his fists at the memory of a man who had dominated his life in so many ways. He still bore the scars of his father’s anger on his body and his soul. As a result hatred for his father ran deep and had become ingrained in his heart. Naomi had talked about forgiveness, but he hadn’t been able to follow through on it.

  Naomi.

  His heart clenched at the thought of her. He’d had enough hurt in his life. He certainly wasn’t putting himself in the path of more by hiring Naomi Deacon.

  Not if he could help it.

  Chapter 2

  “You made the right decision,” Shannon said in her best big-sister voice. “Working for Jess right now is not a good idea.”

  Naomi took a sip of her coffee as she glanced around the gathering at Nana Bond’s house. It was the fourth Sunday of the month and on those Sundays it was decreed that everyone come to Nana’s place after church for Sunday dinner.

  “You’re still grieving. It’s too soon after Billy’s death. Besides, I know how upset you were after Jess broke up with you that summer.”

  “That was ten years ago,” Naomi said, as much to remind herself as her sister. “And I was with Billy for all of the time after that.”

  Besides, Jess didn’t even want to hire me. In fact, he preferred anyone else but me.

  “I also know how crazy you were about Jess,” Shannon continued, determined to drag out a past Naomi was trying to put behind her. “And whenever I saw you with him you seemed—” She stopped there, pulling the corner of her lip in as if trying to stop herself from saying anything else.

  Leave it, a tiny voice warned her. Just leave it be. But Naomi’s curiosity got the better of her. Shannon and Hailey had expended a lot of energy warning her against getting romantically involved with Jess Schroder, warning her all those years ago that he wasn’t her type. He would be bad for her. He was a player who would dump her and move on.

  If only they knew.

  “I seemed what?” Naomi prompted.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Shannon said, brushing her question aside.

  “No, tell me.” Like an itch she couldn’t scratch, she couldn’t let her sister’s unfinished comment simply fade away.

  Shannon looked down at her hands, fiddling with her engagement ring, then sent her sister a quick look, easing out a reluctant sigh. “You seemed more alive with Jess than you ever did with Billy. Happier.”

  Naomi acknowledged her sister’s comment, her mind slipping back to Jess as if testing what his memory would do to her. Thinking of his unexpected appearance at Mug Shots on Friday could still create that nervous flutter she’d experienced every time she’d seen him strolling down the halls of Rockyview High School. Jess Schroder was the kind of guy who turned heads and broke hearts. His good looks and wealthy parents were a combination guaranteed to get him almost any girl he wanted.

  Including Naomi.

  “That was before he dumped me. Before he let me hang. Before everything.” Too late, she realized what her words sounded like and how they could be construed. The puzzled frown her sister sent her underlined that.

  “What do you mean, ‘everything’?”

  Naomi felt the old secret rise up, like a living thing, but she pushed it back.

  Then, thankfully, the conversation was truncated by the tinkling of a spoon against a cup.

  With relief, Naomi turned to her cousin Tanner, who stood in the middle of the living room, his arm around Sabine, his stepdaughter, Olivia, Sabine’s daughter, standing beside her.

  His dark hair waved away from a face lit up with a happiness that could only be described as euphoric. Sabine had one arm around his waist, her other hand rested on his chest in a solicitous gesture as her smoky-gray eyes looked up at him.

  Naomi couldn’t stop a smile at the sight. She had missed Tanner and Sabine’s wedding, but had been thrilled for her cousin. After the death of his wife and stepdaughter almost four years ago, the family wondered if Tanner would ever return to the ranch or Rockyview. He did, then met Sabine and his life had fallen into pleasant places.

  “I have an announcement to make,” he said glancing down at Sabine and dropping a kiss on the top of her head. His happy gaze went first to his twin brother, Garret, who sat on the couch, his fiancée, Larissa, at his side, then to Shannon and Ben, then Hailey and her fiancé, Dan, and finally, resting on Naomi. A fleeting expression of sorrow for her tracked his features and then was replaced by another smile as Tanner turned to Nana Bond holding court in her easy chair. “In about six months this family will get bigger by one small baby.”

  Silence followed his announcement and then pandemonium broke out. Hailey squealed, jumped up from the couch and grabbed Tanner in a bear hug. Then Shannon got up and went to hug Sabine.

  As for Nana Bond, she stayed in her chair, her hand over her mouth as if trying to absorb this wonderful information. Then she, too, was standing, joining Dan, Ben, Larissa, and Garret in congratulating the happy couple.

  Naomi held back for a moment, disappointed at the hot tears gathering at the back of her throat. Tears of joy, she told herself as she swallowed them down. A little baby in the family. A great-grandchild for Nana Bond.

  She blinked the moisture from her eyes, then moved toward her cousin to congratulate him, his wife, Sabine, and their daughter, Olivia, in their happy news.

  As she hugged Sabine, then Tanner, her thoughts moved to Brittany and her pregnancy. A single mother with no man at her side. Her heart ached for the young girl so alone.

  “Isn’t it wonderful news?” Nana was saying to Naomi, drawing her into the happy circle.

  “It is,” Naomi said. “I’m so happy for them.”

  Nana patted her on the arm. “I know coming back has been hard for you, but I’m so glad you’re here. I feel like my family is complete.”

  Naomi gave her a quick smile, then dropped a kiss on her cheek. “I’m glad to be back, too. After all, I promised I would.”

  “And you’re still looking for another job I hear?”

  “Yes. There’s a part-time job coming up at the hospital in less than a month. If I keep working at Mug Shots and take that job as well I’ll get by.”

  Nana smiled and gave her a gentle hug. “Sounds like a good practical plan from a good, practical girl.”

  That’s me, Naomi thought with a touch of asperity. The good girl. The practical girl.

  If only they knew.

  She thought back to Brittany again and promised herself she would stay at Nana’s as long as w
as polite, then go visit her and see how she was doing.

  An hour later Naomi stood outside the door of Brittany’s hospital room, listening before going in. She didn’t want to run into Jess. But it sounded like no one was visiting, so she stepped inside.

  Brittany sat upright in her bed, staring straight ahead, the desolation on her face pulling at Naomi’s heart.

  “Hey, girl,” she said. “You look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you.”

  Brittany’s eyes lit up and Naomi knew she had done the right thing by coming. “I’m so glad to see you.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I’m packing around a beach ball full of sand,” Brittany said, her hands resting on her stomach as if protecting her unborn child.

  Naomi laughed, but behind it she felt an echo of an old sadness and shame that the sight of this young, pregnant woman resurrected.

  She whisked the memories aside, focusing on the present. “I was talking to Dr. Ben at my nana’s place,” she said, smoothing out a wrinkle in the sheets. “I understand you’re being released this week. Is your mom coming to help?”

  Brittany quickly averted her head, but before she did, Naomi saw her eyes glistening. “Sheila said she can’t right now. She says she’s got too much going on in her own life.” Brittany reached up to push her hair away from her face. “Said she was still grieving my dad’s death.”

  But so would Brittany, Naomi thought. Even though Sheila was grieving the loss of a husband, Brittany was grieving the loss of a father.

  Naomi frowned at the selfishness of this woman and, at the same time, feeling some kinship with Brittany. Her own mother, Noelle Deacon, had moved back to Rockyview after her divorce and had, for the most part, left the care of her daughters to her parents. Thankfully, Nana and Papa had filled the void in Naomi’s and her sister’s lives and had given them a home on their ranch. But Naomi still had wished her mother had been more involved in their lives.

  “I’m sure she’s still sad but she’ll come back to help you out.”

  “Why should she?” Brittany sniffed, still looking away as if ashamed of her weakness. “She’s not even my real mother.”

  Naomi knew that.

  Ten years ago Sheila had still been married to Jess’s father. In fact, that summer that Jess and Naomi had been together, Jess’s parents had been away in Barbados to ostensibly repair a marriage that had been faltering for years, according to Jess. Jess had been left behind with a housekeeper and a tutor to get him ready for his college entrance exams.

  That tutor had been Naomi, and that summer the two of them had been, for the most part, on their own.

  The summer Naomi had fallen in love with Jess.

  Focus, Naomi. She turned back to the girl in the bed in front of her. “So did Jess manage to find someone to come and take care of you?” She was asking out of curiosity more than anything, she reminded herself. Curiosity and a concern for this young girl who seemed so alone.

  Brittany shook her head. “No, and he’s getting kind of grumpy about it.” Then Brittany reached out and caught Naomi by the hand, gripping it as if holding on to a lifeline. “You’re kind of like a nurse. Can you do it?”

  Naomi squeezed the girl’s hand back, trying to give her some kind of assurance.

  “Please,” Brittany pleaded, squeezing even tighter. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. The nurses keep talking about food and diet and needles and blood tests and blood pressure and danger to the baby, and I’m scared and I know Jess doesn’t have a clue.”

  Naomi felt her resolve faltering as she caught Brittany’s fearful gaze. She wanted to help the girl, she really did. But helping her would mean being around Jess all day. She knew he was working on his house, which was only a couple of hundred feet away from the old house where Brittany was staying. Much too close.

  Naomi had spent the past number of years supporting Billy in his work, then taking care of him when he got sick. He had dominated her life and she had let it happen. Getting close to Jess meant getting pulled into another vortex of emotions and memories. Memories and emotions she thought she had left behind, but were easily resurrected when she saw him again. She needed to figure out what she wanted to do, where she wanted to go with her life. Being around Jess would be too much of a distraction.

  “Please, can you help me?” Brittany repeated, tears welling up in her eyes. “My mom isn’t coming and I don’t have anyone else.”

  Naomi’s resolve wavered at the sight of the young girl’s obvious anguish. Was she being selfish turning down Brittany’s request because she wanted to guard her heart?

  Please, Lord, tell me what to do?

  Then she thought of Billy and how he’d taken her back even after she’d told him everything. She thought he would condemn her but instead, he’d folded her in his arms, drew her close and told her they would get through this.

  Billy had so easily forgiven her and had been so willing to take her in. Taking care of Brittany could be a way for her to atone for what had happened all those years ago.

  “If that’s what you want, I’ll do this for you,” Naomi said, wrapping her hands around Brittany’s. “I’ll come and take care of you.”

  “Brittany needs you now.” Jess clutched his cell phone, his frustration with his situation warring with his sympathy for his mother’s sorrow. “Can’t you come sooner?”

  He was sitting in his truck, parked in front of the hospital. He’d missed church this morning because he needed to get things ready for the plumber tomorrow. Tomorrow he had to figure out how to be here to learn more about Brittany’s care and work on his house.

  “I am not in a good place,” his mother said in a plaintive voice. “I just need some time alone. I talked to Dr. Brouwer and he said he advised you to hire a personal nurse. Why don’t you do that? If she stayed overnight you wouldn’t have to worry about how things look, though I’m surprised you’re so concerned.”

  Her tone implied that Jess never used to care about propriety. She used to be right. But he wasn’t the wild and crazy young man he once was.

  “I know you’re still grieving, but so is Brittany.”

  His mother heaved out a sigh. “I’m sorry, but I’m no support for that poor girl.”

  Jess kneaded the back of his neck, feeling like he was being pushed into a corner he couldn’t retreat from. He’d been able to go to the hospital yesterday and in the couple of hours he spent with the nurses, he knew he wasn’t the right person to do this.

  Unfortunately he’d also spent the rest of the day trying to find someone able and willing to be at his house when Brittany would be discharged.

  So far his only option was Naomi.

  Could he have Naomi around all the time, though? He had been so convinced he’d gotten over her, but even those few moments in the hospital had shown him how foolish that was.

  But what choice did he have? Right now he had Brittany to think about, and the poor girl needed someone more capable than him to help her.

  Please, Lord, he prayed, I don’t see a way out. Please send someone to do this job.

  He finished his conversation with his mother, got out of the truck and walked toward the hospital. He glanced up at the mountains surrounding the valley. Snow still clung to the topmost peaks. Behind him, Misty Ridge was clear of snow and the summer work was done. In a couple of weeks they would be closing down the chair lift used by the mountain bikers and hikers who would take the lift up, and bike or walk down the mountain. This winter he’d sold his cat-skiing operation and had hired someone else to manage the summer part of the ski hill. Which meant he could now work on the house he’d been trying to finish for the past four years and hopefully move in before the snow came and the winter season started up.

  Would that even happen now that he had Brittany to take care of?

  Jess shook his head, dropped his keys in his shirt pocket and trudged up the walk to the hospital. Something would come up. He just felt it.


  He walked down the hallway to the room, then stopped when he heard Brittany talking.

  “I’ll come and take care of you.”

  Jess stood outside the door of the hospital room, Naomi’s words ringing in the quiet following her announcement. What? What was she saying?

  No, this couldn’t happen.

  Then Brittany squealed with happiness. “That’s awesome. I’m so glad.”

  He thought of how his stepsister had clung to Naomi’s hand and he sighed. He had just prayed for someone to come and do the job, hadn’t he?

  At the same time his doubts were eased away and he allowed himself some relief that Brittany’s care was taken care of. But could he stand to see Naomi every day and keep his own emotions in check?

  Then he squared his shoulders and pushed aside his foolish reaction. He and Naomi were adults. Sure they had dated at one time. Been close. No reason they couldn’t move past that. Ten years was a long time ago. A decade.

  He took a deep breath, then strolled into the room, the picture of casual.

  Naomi stood by Brittany’s bed, looking down, her long hair hanging loose and framing her face just the way Jess always liked it. The sweater she wore was the gold of the trees in the fall and set off her reddish-brown hair and hazel eyes. As she reached out and took Brittany’s hand, Naomi’s gentle smile transformed her features and brought out memories from the back of his mind. Naomi laughing and screaming as the tire tube they floated on plunged over the rapids. Naomi lying back on a picnic blanket in a quiet cove by the river, the hot summer sun drying them off, her face tipped to the sky, the same smile on her face as she declared the day to be like a perfect jewel, bright and shiny and precious.

  Jess gripped his hands into fists, banishing the memories, replacing them with the sight of her with Billy a few months later. Perfect Billy who was going to be a minister. Billy who would never have taken advantage of her the way he had.

  Then Brittany turned her head and saw Jess.

  “Hey, Jess. Guess what? Naomi is going to take care of me.” Brittany’s exuberant grin and the joy bubbling out from her balanced out his own uncertainty about hiring Naomi. “You’re off the hook now.”