Becoming Beyoncé

by J. Randy Taraborrelli

  As for the Knowleses’ marriage, it would seem that there were still problems there. Billy Brasfield, Beyoncé’s longtime makeup artist known as Billy B., recalled, “We were on tour, staying in New York at a hotel. It was very late, after hours. I was waiting for an elevator in the lobby when the doors opened and out walked Mathew with a young girl about Beyoncé’s age. They weren’t touching, or anything. But when the doors opened and they suddenly appeared in front of me, I instantly thought I knew what the deal was. There was this awkward moment when we were just staring at one another. I was like, Oh my God. What do I do? Then, they just continued walking together.”

  It was later rumored that Mathew and Tina had discussed divorce in 2000, possibly even talking about a division of assets. A divorce would not, however, occur that year. One likely reason was that Beyoncé’s career was becoming bigger and greater with each passing day. Therefore, Mathew’s work ethic would continue to deeply immerse him in her life, and thus also in his wife’s. Still, remaining in a marriage that had not been serving them since almost day one could not have been easy. It was as if proverbial golden handcuffs were now keeping Tina tied to Mathew. She could not have been oblivious to the irony of it, either. After all, Tina’s reasoning behind founding Headliners fifteen years earlier was so that she would not be at the whim of what she called “the adversity of a bad marriage.”

  The rewards were great, though—it’s not as if there was only suffering. Being treated like stars everywhere they went was an exciting perk. If they went to a concert, for instance, they were treated with almost as much reverence as the starring act. Beyoncé was now so famous she could command backstage passes in an instant. Lyndall well remembers the time Janet Jackson performed at the Compaq Center in Houston. He and Beyoncé, along with the rest of Destiny’s Child and Mathew and Tina, were all invited to the show. Afterward, the contingent went backstage for a meet-and-greet with the star. Though they had met her previously in Japan, it was still a big thrill to be in her presence; the girls had idolized Janet for years.

  Perhaps because Lyndall was a little nervous, he jabbered on to Janet for a while. Finally she cut him off. “You remind me of one of my nephews,” she said, referring to the guys in the Jackson family singing group 3T. “Well, your nephews must be pretty doggone awesome, then!” Lyndall joked. Though he was just being himself, jovial and disarming, the comment landed with a thud. As Mathew had warned him earlier, “You can’t be actin’ like no Arsenio Hall if you ain’t no Arsenio Hall!” It was one thing to be “just folks” when they were all home alone eating Popeyes chicken, but not in front of Janet Jackson. (Or, as Beyoncé later told Taura Stinson, “Lyndall just says whatever he wants without thinking!”) Seconds later, Angie walked over to Lyndall, put her arm around him, and asked him to follow her. She escorted him out of the dressing room. “That hurt,” Lyndall would recall years later. “It cut deep.”

  Once he was out in the hallway, Tina exited Janet’s dressing room to have a word with Lyndall. He couldn’t help but notice how sleek and stylish she suddenly appeared to him. Her brown hair streaked with blonde highlights, she was wearing skintight black leather slacks with a matching tailored leather jacket and flouncy white silk blouse. A very large diamond ring glistened on each hand, as did a diamond bracelet on one wrist and matching watch on the other.

  “No offense, Lyndall,” she said, “but, goddamn! Do you always have to be so . . . Lyndall?”

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  She sighed heavily. “Oh, I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head. “We just wish you could be . . . I don’t know . . . different, I guess.”

  “But I am who I am,” Lyndall said. He was feeling self-conscious but also a little defensive. “I mean, you know . . . I’m just me.” He smiled boyishly at her. It usually worked with the opposite sex, but Tina was too experienced to be charmed by a self-possessed twenty-year-old.

  Taking both of his hands into her own to lessen the blow, she advised that he just watch Beyoncé and emulate her behavior as much as possible. “You’re a sweet boy, Lynnie,” she concluded. “Just don’t talk so much. Can you do that for me?”

  “Okay,” Lyndall said, feeling a little deflated. “I’ll try.”

  Maybe it was understandable that Mathew and Tina were beginning to view Lyndall Locke as just a very sweet guy with no future. They must have wondered whether he would make their daughter happy in the long run but they also knew there were a lot of men after Beyoncé at this time who only wanted her because of who she was and who she was about to become in the entertainment industry. The Knowleses must have felt that Lyndall was a safer bet for her since he clearly had no ulterior motives. In fact, they would sometimes fly him to a city where Beyoncé was appearing if they felt she was lonely.

  “Whatever state she was in, they would send Lyndall a ticket,” recalled Lyndall’s mother, Lydia. “Tina would say, ‘Lyndall, please come.’ I wanted to put an end to it. I said, ‘Lyndall, look, this has to stop. I want you to make a life for yourself. That’s Beyoncé’s life, honey. That’s not your life.’ I didn’t raise him to be available to somebody every time they snapped their fingers. I was afraid my baby was going to get his heart broken, if you really want to know the truth.”

  A few days after the Janet Jackson concert, Lyndall was at the Knowleses’ home on Swan Isle; Mathew found him lounging on a chair near the pool while waiting for Beyoncé to get ready for a date. “Yo! What’s up, Big Mac?” Lyndall asked, using his nickname for him. “Not much, Lyndall,” Mathew answered.

  Mathew seemed annoyed. At first, Lyndall didn’t understand the reason. It hadn’t occurred to him how he appeared under Mathew’s scrutiny: a young man enjoying the fruits of Mathew’s labors, whiling away the day by the pool with nary a care in the world. “Say, brother, why don’t you and I go for a little walk?” Mathew asked. “Sure thing,” Lyndall said as he rose. The two men walked toward the direction of the sparkling blue lake at the end of the Knowleses’ expansive property.

  “How old are you now, Lyndall?” Mathew asked as the two men meandered out onto one of the wooden piers.

  “I’ll be twenty-one at the end of the year,” Lyndall said, all of this according to his distinct memory of the conversation.

  Mathew nodded. He then noted that by the time he was twenty-one, “I had, probably, twenty-one different kinds of jobs.”

  Now it was becoming apparent what Mathew was getting at. “Then, you know, I quit my six-figure job to manage the girls. And now? Well, take a look around,” he said, extending his arms out to the bucolic landscape. “Done pretty good for myself, right?” he asked.

  “Yes, sir,” Lyndall said, looking at him with admiration. “You’re doin’ it big, all right.”

  “I found my thing,” Mathew added, “which is managing Beyoncé.” He noted that he had “poured my whole heart and soul, everything that I am, into her.” Now, he continued, he and Tina were wondering what it was Lyndall wanted to do with his life. Or, as he put it, “What is it that you want to pour your whole heart and soul into?”

  Lyndall wasn’t prepared for such a serious question. All he could manage was, “Not sure yet.” He realized he should say more, but no words came to him.

  Mathew stopped walking and faced Lyndall. “Well, look,” he offered, his demeanor suddenly serious. “You gotta get it together, my brother.” He said that he felt he should give Lyndall fair warning. “If you don’t pull it together and find you a real career, she’s gonna be long gone,” he said. “You know how many men are after her now?”

  “I know you’re right, Big Mac.”

  “So what are you gonna do about it?” Mathew asked, pushing for an answer.

  “All the men in my family are telling me to get a job, so I know I have to do that,” Lyndall said weakly. “I’m working on it.” His response sounded inadequate and he knew it. However, he was just starting to give thought as to what he would do with his future. He certainly hadn’t been born wi
th the burning ambition of a supremely focused Knowles family member. Up until very recently, he’d been satisfied with just letting life happen around him. If anything, he was maturing slowly and, it could be argued, normally for a young man his age.

  “Well, you don’t have time to waste,” Mathew said, “because if you ask me, Beyoncé needs to be with someone who has it goin’ on, and that sure ain’t you. Now, I know you two been together for a lot of years,” he continued, “but, goddamn, Lyndall! She’s growin’ now. And you ain’t. Got it?”

  “Got it, Big Mac,” Lyndall said. “I hear you.”

  Mathew concluded by noting that Lyndall was a young black man in the United States of America in the year 2000, and as such, had opportunities most of the African Americans of his own generation never could have imagined. “So take advantage of them,” he said. “Do something with your life.” With that, Mathew Knowles turned and walked away from Lyndall Locke, leaving him out on the small pier, alone with his thoughts.

  Beyoncé Makes a Decision about Farrah

  By the summer of 2000 when Destiny’s Child toured England, the latest version of the group, with Farrah Franklin and Michelle Williams, seemed to have truly gelled. Though twelve-hour-a-day rehearsals were grueling, the girls got through them well and the results were definitely apparent in their excellent performances.

  As the new recruits, Farrah and Michelle seemed content to defer to Beyoncé in press interviews. While each singer had her chance to talk, in the end there was no disputing the identity of the group’s official spokeswoman. If Beyoncé began to answer a question, the others were sure to be quiet and let her finish. If there was any hesitation regarding a tough query, they looked to Beyoncé to handle it. For instance, in one television interview—now a popular YouTube clip—Kelly began speaking about LaTavia, saying she had recently seen her in a shopping mall. Before she had a chance to finish her thought, Beyoncé interrupted her. “Let’s cut that over,” she said, making it clear that she didn’t want Kelly to finish (and obviously not realizing that the interview was live, not taped). Chastised, Kelly sheepishly glanced at Beyoncé, nodded, and said, “Yeah. You’re right.”

  Whereas Michelle easily adapted to the status quo, Farrah began to express dissatisfaction about it after only three months. One issue for her was that it had become apparent that she wouldn’t be singing leads anytime in the near future. While it may have been a goal of hers when she joined the group, it was unlikely to have been Mathew’s intention. He actually wasn’t even sure she could carry a tune. It didn’t matter to him one way or the other, though. When the writer Lola Ogunnaike later asked why he allowed Farrah into the act if he was uncertain of her vocal ability, he answered, “Imaging. Plain and simple.”

  Though it had only been a short time since she joined Destiny’s Child, Farrah could feel her confidence slipping away. “I felt I was losing my identity,” she would later explain, “and I was not being treated like you would want someone treating your daughter.” Apparently—at least to hear Beyoncé, Kelly, and Michelle tell it—Farrah couldn’t let it go, especially when she realized Beyoncé was also getting all the best camera shots on television programs.

  Farrah also had reservations about Solange’s traveling with the act. She believed that payment for Solange’s accommodations was coming out of her paycheck, that she was at least partially subsidizing the participation of Beyoncé’s little sister on tour. It may technically have been true. Someone had to pay the dancers, and it would be normal for that expenditure to be part of the group’s general overhead. However, Mathew wasn’t open to discussing the specifics of this arrangement with Farrah.

  If, on some level, the issues Farrah had with the group caused her to want out of Destiny’s Child, she couldn’t have orchestrated her departure more efficiently.

  In the late spring of 2000, the group was scheduled to film an interview for MTV in Houston. However, the girls have said that Farrah, who still lived in Los Angeles, didn’t want to fly to Houston. She felt the network should just shoot her part of the program at her home. After she and Mathew had words about it on the telephone, he demanded that she show up in Texas or face expulsion.

  “She has lost her damn mind,” Beyoncé exclaimed when told of Farrah’s argument with her dad.

  When Farrah finally arrived at the Knowleses’ home, she was visibly upset. She explained that she’d been ill and had dragged herself from her sickbed to the airport because of Mathew’s dictate. As soon as she walked into the Knowles home, she took one look at Mathew and reportedly refused to speak to him. Beyoncé was put off. She wasn’t okay with Farrah walking into her home and ignoring her father. That, she felt, was way out of line and she told Farrah so. When Farrah tried to argue Beyoncé refused to back down. She was definitely in no mood to deal with Farrah. “I may be kind,” she said, “but I’m not weak. None of the women raised in this house are weak.” With that, she stormed from the room, muttering under her breath. Farrah then said something else, and Beyoncé—from the other room—shouted back that she was through talking.

  For the next couple of months, things were tense. It began to feel to Farrah that the whole world was against her, mostly because the only people with whom she was in contact were in the Knowles camp, which she later told Lola Ogunnaike was “kinda like a cult. They don’t have friends who aren’t in the Destiny’s Child clique.”

  In July 2000, Destiny’s Child was scheduled to spend a busy weekend in Seattle, including radio interviews from as early as seven in the morning until late in the evening, and then more interviews the next day. It was a brief but punishing grind. During their stay in the city, they were also to be trailed by a camera crew from MTV to document their busy lives. After Seattle, they were scheduled to fly to Los Angeles to then catch a plane to Australia for yet more promotional work and a couple of concerts.

  No sooner had the group gotten to Seattle than Farrah apparently decided to turn around and head back to Los Angeles. The three remaining girls told their interviewers that Farrah was “ill.” During a break, Michelle telephoned Farrah back in Los Angeles. So far as she was concerned Farrah was saying that she would see the girls after Australia—in other words, she expected them to go abroad without her and she would catch up with them later in Houston. “No. You best meet us at LAX when we get there,” Michelle warned her.

  On July 14, the group left Seattle and landed in Los Angeles en route to Australia. When they didn’t find Farrah at the gate, they began to panic. “Beyoncé called her using my cell phone,” Michelle recalled, “and that’s when the drama started.”

  “What do you mean you’re not coming?” Beyoncé asked, according to her and Michelle’s memory of events. She told her to get to the airport immediately because if she missed the plane she would not be able to make it to Australia in time. Farrah said she was at her apartment and wasn’t leaving it. “She said she’s not coming,” Beyoncé, holding her hand over the receiver, told Kelly.

  “Oh no she didn’t,” Kelly exclaimed.

  By this time, Beyoncé had had enough of the new girl. Farrah may have been standing up for herself, but Beyoncé didn’t see it that way. Her former partners, LeToya and LaTavia, had worked hard for many years and had earned their places in the group. Therefore they’d also earned the right to certain grievances, even if Beyoncé didn’t agree with the way they’d aired them. But Farrah? After just five months? No. Beyoncé felt she simply had no right to be difficult. If anything, she should have been grateful. “But I believe there comes a point in your life when you are doing things that you wouldn’t do normally and you’re, you know, you’re not who you are,” Farrah would later say in explaining herself. “You realize that you’re selling your soul for fame.”

  While on the telephone with Farrah, Beyoncé laid it on the line. “This is a business,” she began. She then noted that the group had sold-out dates and thousands of fans expecting them. She added that Columbia had been planning the tour for months, since back
when LeToya and LaTavia were part of the act. She told her that being in Destiny’s Child was a job just like any other, and that the girls in the group couldn’t decide not to show up just because they didn’t feel like it. Farrah didn’t seem to be budging. She was only eighteen; again, as in the cases of LaTavia and LeToya, one has to wonder if there was any truly strong leadership in her life. “Think like a businesswoman,” Beyoncé said continuing to push. “Think smart.”

  Finally, Kelly had heard enough. “Please!” she exclaimed. She told Beyoncé to just tell Farrah to forget about it, to not go to the airport, to not even set foot in the car: “Tell her to just stay her ass home.”

  Beyoncé nodded. But before she had a chance to repeat Kelly’s words, Farrah was gone. Now Beyoncé was fuming.

  A few seconds later, Farrah called back. In this next—and last—conversation Beyoncé would ever have with her, Farrah said something about not wanting to continue on to Australia until she had a chance to “talk to management.” Beyoncé knew what that meant; LaTavia and LeToya had always referred to Mathew as “management” when they were upset. “We don’t have time for you to talk to management,” she told her, raising her voice. “If you don’t come on this trip,” she told her, “there is no way that you can remain with this group.”

  It’s not known how Farrah responded to Beyoncé’s statement. All that’s known are Beyoncé’s parting lines to her. “Fine. I wish you the best,” she concluded. “May God bless you. Goodbye!” And with that, she hung up the phone.

  PART FOUR

  Independent Women

  Destiny’s Three

  Well, this is sure a fine time for Farrah to show her ass,” Beyoncé told one of the crew on the way to Australia. About to change to go onstage, she was devouring a giant bag of Cheetos that she’d brought with her from the States. “What are we going to do?” the crew member asked. “We’re gonna go on,” Beyoncé said as she wiped yellow Cheetos dust onto the pants leg of her studded jeans. She was also wearing a pink-and-white-checked cashmere sweater along with a hot pink baseball cap. “We’re not gonna let down our audiences.” She said that “either you care in this business, or you don’t.” She cared, she added, Kelly did too, and she believed that Michelle did as well. What upset her most, she observed, was that she now had to be concerned about what the public and the press would say about yet another change in the group, and she thought she was done talking about this kind of thing. “But I guess I’m not,” she concluded, “and I don’t even know how to explain this thing with Farrah.”