Crazy About Curves: 10 Luscious Reads

by Adriana Hunter

  “Because maybe for a few moments in time, somebody would buy into it and get hooked into the fantasy. By then, they’d be in love with my personality. I could have them swooning over me, talk for a while, drag it out online, email, get them excited to meet me. And then, bam, they’re already in love. I thought it was pretty clever, myself.”

  “You can’t build a relationship based on lies, buddy.” She left him sitting there in the restaurant, and texted Becky.

  It’s not that he wasn’t a pleasant person to talk to. It’s not that he didn’t seem nice enough...it’s that he lied. It was creepy. He was trying to sell himself as something nowhere near to who he was. Nick got the big stamp of rejection from Sam. She would have liked him more as “Spaghetti Arms” Nick, shoe salesman, short guy, and even a little pudgy. If only he’d been honest.

  As if the bad date wasn’t enough that week, there were broken egg shells littered around her van when she got home. Most were scattered, but a few landed smack on the vehicle. Who would have...Old Lady Chagas? She wouldn’t, would she? Sam knocked on the woman’s door and held her breath as the odor seeped out.

  No answer. “Mrs. Chagas, I know you’re in there. I can hear you shuffling around with your walker.” She’d had enough of this. They were going to have it out once and for all.

  “Go away.” She scolded.

  “Did you egg my van?” Sam demanded.

  “It’s none of your damn business, and you didn’t see me do it. You can’t prove anything.”

  She heard a slam, a bang, and something falling. “Mrs. Chagas?”

  No answer. Shit.

  “Mrs. Chagas?”

  Sam jiggled the door handle. It was unlocked. “I’m coming in,” she warned. She saw the old woman sprawled across the floor, trying to reach her walker.

  “Mrs. Chagas!” Samantha ran over and helped the old woman up, letting her lean into her until she could support herself on her walker.

  The woman squealed with pain.

  “Are you okay?”

  “What do you think?” She was snotty, not even nice after Sam came in to help her. “My bones are brittle like glass at this age. I think I broke something,” she howled.

  Sam grabbed her phone and dialed 9-1-1. She gave them the address and apartment number, and stayed with her neighbor until the ambulance crew arrived.

  “Took you long enough,” the woman snapped at the medics. Could this woman be any more miserable?

  Samantha rolled her eyes.

  “Will you be coming with her,” one of the medics asked.

  “Me?” Sam’s eyes popped wide open. Not a chance! “No, I’m just a neighbor.”

  “Sure, leave an old lady alone in the hospital,” Mrs. Chagas grumbled.

  “Do you have a number of someone I can call for you?” Sam asked helpfully.

  “Ouch, take it easy, you damn man handlers,” she called out to the medics as they got her prepped for her trip to the hospital.

  Christopher caught the scene as he was coming into the building. “Mrs. Chagas?”

  “She fell down. She thinks she broke something,” Sam replied.

  “I don’t think,” she snapped, “I know. And if these damn medics don’t give me something for the pain soon, they’re going to hear some real howling.”

  The medics worked quickly, and loaded her onto the wheeling gurney.

  “What happened?” Christopher asked Samantha.

  “She fell.”

  “Were you here?”

  “No. Well, yes. I was at the door, we were talking, and I heard a loud bang. Her door was unlocked.”

  “Are you coming with me or not,” the old woman asked.

  “No.” Samantha answered.

  “I’ll go with you.” He turned to Sam. “I’ll talk to you later. Let me go, so that she’s not alone. She doesn’t have any local family.”

  “Sure. Be the hero,” Sam muttered under her breath.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Do you want to go? We’ll probably be there for a while,” Christopher offered.

  “I think I’ll pass.”

  “Okay, I better leave. Mrs. Chagas, I’ll drive behind the ambulance.”

  How can he be so caring and considerate one minute, and then pressing the elevator doors to close on her the next? He was nicer to the cranky old lady than he was to her. What was wrong with her? Was she that unlikeable? For some reason, she obviously rubbed Christopher Remy the wrong way.

  Chapter 6

  Christopher waited by her door. When he heard it start to open, he jetted to the elevator. “Good morning,” he said as he casually reached for the elevator button like the timing was a coincidence.

  “Hey.” Sam was slow to wake up this morning. She had a poodle clip at nine, told Grammy she’d stop by, and then she was solidly booked from noon until five. It was going to be a long day.

  As the elevator opened, the couple stepped inside. He wasn’t sure he could pull it off. Maybe this was a bad idea. Besides, they weren’t exactly on the best terms. His palms were starting to sweat at the thought of it. Bad plan, he was sure. Last night it seemed feasible. He’d had a lot of time to kill in the waiting area of the hospital. Only this morning, it seemed like a childish prank. He was more mature than that.

  Christopher tugged at his collar, trying to breathe. As Samantha dug through her purse, he made his move. It took everything inside of him to do it. His arm froze, but he pressed himself forward to keep moving. His chest grew tight; it was now or never. Christopher jammed his finger onto the emergency stop button and felt the elevator lurch and jerk to a stop. This was a mistake. Already he felt like there was less oxygen in the small cube. Closing his eyes, he tried to remain calm.

  “Oh, crap. Not again.” Sam looked up and groaned, sinking to the floor.

  Christopher sank beside her. “Here we go again.” It was a hoax, a bad one, but he didn’t know how else to get there. He should have just asked her out, but how? Seriously, she could barely stand the sight of him. Quite honestly, he wasn’t even sure why he was doing this, but a little voice deep inside made it seem like a good idea.

  “Aren’t you going to call down?”

  “Oh, right.” He jumped up and called to say they were stuck. Tugging at his collar, he felt bad about lying. It’s just that he wasn’t sure how to change the path they were on. It seemed like every time the two of them were near each other, they’d butt heads. That’s when he remembered the elevator. It was worth a shot.

  Turning to Sam, he told her, “He said he’d check it out and call the elevator company.”

  Before he could sit, the elevator was moving again. “Oh, that was fast.”

  As the doors opened on the ground floor, the maintenance man was waiting for them. “Somebody must have hit the emergency stop, because it’s working fine.”

  Samantha turned to look at Christopher, who was flushing. “Oh, maybe I nudged it by mistake. Sorry about that, not quite sure how that happened.”

  He started to rush down the hallway and out of the building, embarrassed at getting caught.

  “Wait!” Sam called out, trying to match his pace.

  Taking a deep breath, Christopher turned around. “Huh?”

  “Did you do that on purpose?”

  “What? No. Why would you say that?” Christopher fidgeted. It was now or never. “Okay, maybe.” He sighed. Trapped like a rat, he knew it was time to confess. “See, the thing is...” only the words didn’t come easily. Another try. “I guess I was hoping to spend some time with you.”

  Samantha looked him up and down suspiciously. “Why not just knock on my door, or ask me on a date?”

  “You don’t like me very much,” he admitted.

  “And you don’t like me, so what gives?”

  They stood staring at one another.

  “Would you want to hang out sometime? Maybe come over for dinner or something?” His stomach knotted. He used to be more confident, until the Rit
a and Karen incident. When your girlfriend chose your sister over you... yeah, it played with his head some. It hadn’t even been a full year.

  Samantha eyed him cautiously. Why the hell not? Maybe they could figure out some kind of truce. This hostile stuff was getting old. “Sure,” she sighed.

  “Don’t sound so excited.”

  “I just don’t quite know what to make of it. I wasn’t expecting...” She changed her tone. “Okay, it sounds...” she couldn’t put her finger on the right word, and finally settled on, “nice.”

  “I’ll be home around six. Maybe we could have dinner between six-thirty and seven? I’ll pick up some pasta and a fresh loaf of bread,” he said hopefully.

  “I can grab some wine. Wait. This isn’t a date, is it? It’s just neighbors hanging out?” Samantha was a bit confused about his intentions.

  “Right, sure.”

  “Okay, just so we’re on the same wavelength, I mean. You’re not going to go all kissy face on me, are you?” she asked suspiciously.

  “What? No,” he defended, hating that the conversation had turned this way. “You know, let’s forget the entire thing. Maybe another time?”

  “Holy cow, you’re so indecisive.”

  “What do you want me to say? I ask you on a date, and you make a big deal.”

  “Aha, it was a date. Wait. You’re asking me on a date?” The shock was transparent on Sam’s face.

  “Asked. I asked you on a date, and it was obviously a mistake. I need to go. I’ll see you later.” With that he turned and walked away.

  Sam watched him leave. Suddenly, she was chasing behind him. “Wait, wait!”

  “What?” He stopped, and turned back to face her.

  “I’d like that.”

  “You’d like what?” Now it was Christopher’s turn to be surprised.

  “Dinner.”

  “Are you just saying it because you feel badly?”

  “No.”

  He didn’t know what to make of this girl. “Fine.” Shouldn’t it be easier than this? Why was everything so hard with this girl? “Another night, okay?”

  “Why? You were okay with tonight before.”

  “Because you frustrate me. What do you want me to say?”

  “I frustrate you?”

  “Yes!”

  She stepped in closer, close enough to pick up the scent of his cologne. Her breathing slowed, time slowed down, and standing inches away, she was mesmerized. What was that? It was like some weird magnet pulling her toward him. She parted her lips, she wanted to...Shaking her head, she backed up.

  He felt her energy up so close. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms. He couldn’t explain it. She wasn’t his type. Maybe she was. He didn’t even know what his type was anymore. All he knew was this boisterous woman would not get out of his head. It wasn’t who he wanted to think about, and yet there she was, trapped in his mind. Her lips parted, his gaze dropped down, and before he could act, she stepped away. Christopher’s heart raced in his chest, like a thoroughbred on full throttle.

  “I have an appointment to get to. Maybe another day,” she agreed, and ran off.

  Why? He thought to himself. Why did I let her walk away? We were so close.

  He watched her head to her van, her curls bouncing behind her. Closing his eyes, he drew a deep breath in and then slowly exhaled. He didn’t have time for this, time for her, time for relationships. They only ended in pain anyway. They were better off staying neighbors. If it didn’t work out, it would be even harder living beside her. She was a pistol of a personality, and the thought of a hostile and angry Samantha made him shake.

  “Wait!” This time it was Christopher calling out.

  Sam turned around.

  “Can I make you dinner tonight?”

  Sam looked at the man before her, realizing this back and forth was happening for a reason. He was obviously trying, and it’s not like she made it easy on him. She nodded. “Sure, I’d like that.”

  “Seven?”

  “That sounds good.”

  Samantha was perplexed. Did he like her? He asked her on a date, and yet the way he showed it...he was one confused man. She was just as confused. When she stood that close to him earlier, something changed. The air felt almost electric. It’s like everything else disappeared, and all she could think about was leaning in, her lips parted, wanting to...no, this is silly. It’s not like that.

  The day seemed to drag on, and after her last appointment, she finally pulled into the parking lot and got out of her van. Glancing over to where he usually parked, she saw he was home. This was going to happen...an actual date. She could say she had a rough day, say that it was a mistake, or that she changed her mind. What was she so afraid of?

  Heading up to her apartment, Sam cleaned up and got changed. She didn’t need to be wearing doggy scrubs and smell like a flea bath. Pulling her hair back into a high pony tail, she slipped into a comfy sweatshirt and shorts. She hoped he wasn’t expecting her to be formal. They were staying in. They’d just be talking and stuff. Stuff...what kind of stuff?

  She thought about going over early and offering to help, but changed her mind. He seemed to get flustered easily, flummoxed. He was going through the effort of making her dinner; she should at least be a good guest.

  Pulling a bottle of wine out of the fridge, she set it on the counter, and watched the clock. At precisely ten minutes before seven, she knocked on his door.

  He’d switched out of his usual work clothes and into the comfort of a snug fitting black t-shirt. It hugged his biceps and chest nicely, showing off what she didn’t usually see. His shoulders somehow seemed broader, his chest heaving. They were the kind of arms a girl could fall into, feeling safe and secure.

  “I see you dressed up for the occasion,” he teased.

  She didn’t know whether to feel defensive or laugh. Sam noticed the way his faded jeans hugged his...Samantha shook herself back to reality. “Smells good,” she commented.

  “Thanks. I have some garlic bread toasting in the oven, and dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

  “Christopher, why did you ask me over for dinner?”

  “Why?”

  “I thought you didn’t like me.”

  He wasn’t sure what to say. “I can’t seem to get you out of my mind.”

  Samantha was stunned. A small smile spread across her face. It was the last thing she expected him to say. She had no response. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be such a raw deal after all.

  “So, tell me more about you.” She sat across from him while he filled her in on basics and poured the wine.

  “Your turn,” he said after a bit.

  “Not much to tell. You know what I do. I go out with my friends time to time, but otherwise life isn’t that exciting. What about your family? You mentioned Paco was married to your sister. Do you have other siblings?”

  His face soured as he looked away.

  “I’m sorry, did I hit a nerve? You don’t have to answer.”

  “I guess it would come out eventually.” He stalled for a moment, trying to find the best way to word it. “The truth is, my ex-girlfriend is in love with my sister and moved in with her. My sister is pregnant by her ex-husband, who cheated on her. So, she has a toddler, a baby on the way, and my ex will be raising the child with her.”

  “Wow, it’s like a soap opera.”

  “Yeah. It’s not something I usually put out there, but I figure if I want to spend more time with you, I might as well spill the details. Better to get it out of the way than throw you a curve ball down the road. It’s a little awkward, but it’s my reality. Samantha, I’m not sure what happened, but I think I’m growing fond of you.”

  Sam’s cheeks glowed red. She was blushing like a school girl! “I thought you didn’t like me.”

  “I didn’t.”

  That wasn’t the answer she was expecting! “Why? What did I do that made you write me off before you even got to know me? Was I that bad?”


  “You’ll laugh. I have these weird quirks. It’s me, not you.”

  “Try me.”

  “When you moved in, you took my parking spot. I’d been parking in the same spot for two years, and then one day, you showed up and your van was there. It’s silly really looking back on it, but at the time I was really annoyed. Of course, I was going through the stuff with my sister and my ex, so I wasn’t in the best frame of mind. Then you were always loud. I could hear you through the walls, and I think I just built up resentment toward you. I just decided it was easier to not like you than try to be friends and then have the awkward moment of telling you that I thought you were annoying.”

  Samantha was stunned. “Wow, you really know how to charm a woman.”

  “I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”

  “Why didn’t you just ask if I could park somewhere different, if it mattered that much to you?”

  “Because I knew it was silly. It was my problem, not yours. I just let it become bigger than it was.”

  “So you have some kind of parking disease, where you can only park in certain parking spots?” She laughed, teasing him.

  He took the ribbing fairly. “I’m a sick man, can you forgive me? I probably wasn’t in the best state of mind, with the Rita and Karen stuff going on, either.”

  There was a zap of energy, a spark in the air, and silence beckoned as their eyes met.

  Christopher’s phone ringing broke the silence. “Excuse me.”

  His sister was heading to the hospital. She was in labor. Christopher plated up some dinner, turned off the oven, and handed the food to Sam. “I’m sorry I have to go, but you might as well take this home. My sister’s in labor. I have to go watch my nephew. I’m going to pick him up at the hospital and bring him back home. I’ll be babysitting all night. I’m so sorry. I had no way of knowing. She’s early.”

  “Wow, hopefully not too early. I hope everything is okay. Thanks for dinner, and good luck.” The moment was broken. There was no more chemistry, simply a plate of food, a girl, and a man on the way out the door.

  Chapter 7

  She didn’t hear from him until the following day. Christopher’s sister had a little girl, Olivia Renee. Neither of them said much about the attempted first date. It was better left unspoken.