The Way to Game the Walk of Shame

by Jenn P. Nguyen

  She paced back and forth. “Thanks.”

  “That wasn’t exactly a compliment.” I skimmed the first page. “So you want me to sign this contract and pretend to date you for the next couple of weeks?”

  “It’s not really an official contract.”

  “There’s a line for our signatures.”

  “Well, it’s really more of a formality, so we’ll both know where we stand in this … relationship.” Taylor stopped and faced me. Her hands were on either side of her hips in a defensive stance. “Come on, this could benefit us both.”

  I scoffed in disbelief. “Really? ’Cause all I hear is you, you, you. Honestly, I don’t see why I need to agree to this.”

  “Because you’re a generous and helpful person?” She snorted at the shocked look on my face. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t even get through that. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  Hm, touché. Apparently her sweet exterior was just a front. I wondered what other secrets she was hiding from the world. “If this is how you plan to convince me, I’ll tell you now that you’re failing miserably,” I said drily.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. Again.” She coughed and attempted to look serious. And failed. “Let’s just think of it rationally. Think of how much respect you’d get from the teachers once they find out you’re dating me. All the teachers at Nathan Wilks love me.”

  “Okay, first off, you better rein that ego back. You are not as great as you think you are. And secondly,” I said loudly when she opened her mouth to respond. “Teachers like me just fine. I may not have a 5.0 or whatever crazy average you have with your extra classes and overachieving self, but I do have an average GPA. Above average, actually, since I usually get B’s.”

  “You’re lying, right?”

  “Why would I lie to you? You’re not my mom.”

  Her eyes narrowed in confusion. “But how is that possible? I heard you don’t even go to half of your classes. You weren’t even at school today!”

  “Don’t believe everything you hear. I only miss about a fourth of my classes. And the classes I do go to, I do damn good in.”

  “Well.”

  “What?”

  “You do damn well in instead of good.” She gave me a bright smile. “I guess English isn’t one of the classes you have a B in?”

  Huh. The more I was getting to see the snarky side of Taylor, the more I liked her. “I guess you can say that. So like I was saying before you rudely interrupted me for an impromptu grammar lesson, I don’t need to be there to understand what’s going on,” I said with a shrug. I could probably homeschool myself, if I didn’t have to worry about seeing Brandon’s face all the time.

  Taylor continued to stare at me with an uncertain expression, as though she wasn’t sure if I was joking or not. I got this skepticism a lot when people found out that I was more than a playboy bum. I wasn’t a closet nerd, either, but it wasn’t hard to put a bit of effort into my schoolwork. Okay, a little more than a bit. I didn’t want my stepdad’s satisfaction regarding my bad grades to prove that he was right all along. That I was a no-good deadbeat like my dad. Don’t know what’s wrong with being a deadbeat, though. It sure beats being a pompous ass like him.

  I leaned back in the chair, tapping the ground with my left foot. “So what else you got?”

  She gnawed on her lower lip before snapping her fingers. “How about college? I could help you with your college applications. It’s kind of late to apply, but with my assistance, you could still get into any school you want.”

  “Any?”

  “Any … within reason.”

  With a smirk, I gave her a thumbs-down. “Sorry, as appealing as that sounds, that’s not going to work. I don’t care about college.”

  Her eyes widened in shock. “How could anyone not care about college?”

  “I don’t know. It all seems so far off.”

  “Uh, we’re halfway through our senior year. There’s barely any time left.”

  “It’s not even February. There’s plenty of time. And besides, I just don’t think college is for me, so why bother?” I was lying. I had thought about college a couple of times. But I still wasn’t sure what I was going to do yet. Going to college would get me out of my house and away from Brandon, but not going to college would infuriate him. Something that I had devoted years to doing.

  It was a hard decision to make.

  Taylor twirled her empty glass around in her hand and crossed out a couple of things on the list next to her. She gave me a quick glance and scratched out a few more things with a frown before crumbling the first sheet entirely. “No, that wouldn’t—nah … how about…”

  I was kind of curious to see what other reasons she’d put on there.

  Finally, Taylor let out a sigh. “Well, this is a long shot, but aren’t you getting tired of having girls throw themselves at you all the time?”

  I snorted. “Do you really expect me to answer that?”

  She looked a little uncertain, but she continued anyway. “Seriously, you’ve probably had a string of girls just chasing after you your whole life. And sure it’s fun at first. All the sex and whatnot. But after a while, it has to be tiring. Every girl just like the last. Faceless conquests and sleeping partners.” Her lips pursed together, and she gave me a pitying look. “When do you get to be alone? To be treated as a person instead of as a piece of meat all the time? To just be Evan?”

  She had to be kidding. I swallowed back the laughter and struggled to keep a straight face. “And what do you think I should do about this problem?”

  Her face lit up at my question like it was a green light of encouragement. “Well, if you had a steady girlfriend, you wouldn’t have to worry about all those other girls anymore. Someone who could be a shield, a defense against getting hit on all the time.”

  Ah, there it is. “And that someone would be you.”

  “Well, I am here and willing.” At her words, I couldn’t help gazing up and down her body again. Nice and slow this time. Now, there was a thought. Even though Taylor was more sweet than sexy, there was something about her. I was drawn to her for some reason. Maybe it was like Aaron said. She was an untouchable ice queen, and I was tempted to know what I would have to do to make her melt.

  Finally noticing where my eyes were looking, she snapped her fingers in front of my face before crossing her arms to cover her chest. “Not in that way, so don’t get any ideas.”

  “Too bad. I was thinking that things could get pretty interesting.”

  And just like that, she was flustered again. God, this was fun. I grinned and scanned the document again. “Okay, let’s say I’m considering it. It says here that while we’re in this deal, I can’t date or have any inappropriate interactions with the opposite sex unless approved by you.” I couldn’t keep the amusement out of my voice. “Is this a fancy way of saying that I can’t cheat on you?”

  Taylor moved away from me and back to the counter like it was her safe haven. One hand clicked her blue pen against the countertop while the other traced the flowers and leaves etched on the wooden edge. “Of course. I mean, that would just cause more gossip.” Click. Click. “And the whole purpose of this arrangement is to lessen that. I promise I would do the same thing. It’s a totally reasonable request.”

  Of course it was reasonable request. For her. If I agreed to this, I’d be living in my own personal hell for the next few weeks. She was crazy if she expected me to live like a monk. I dropped the papers on the tabletop, not even bothering to catch them as they fluttered off the edge. “And what happens in the end? When people stop gossiping about us and our reputations are restored?”

  “Then we’ll break up. Tell people that we decided we were too different and an amicable separation was the best result for everyone,” she recited as though this were a divorce-court show. She handed me her pen as though that should have been enough assurance.

  Amicable breakup? That would be a first. I’d had tons of breakups in my life, an
d none of them were ever amicable. The most civil one was when I had a glass thrown at me in her parents’ hot tub. Although I really should have gotten dressed before I mentioned seeing other people. She almost cut things that would have really hurt.

  I uncapped and recapped the pen to make her squirm. “Hmm.”

  “Hmm?” Her eyebrows rose, making her face look elongated. “What does hmm mean?”

  “It means I’ll have to think about it first.”

  “You—” she spun around on her feet. Her jaw dropped so far, I could see the molars in the back of her mouth. “What is there to think about, and how long is that going to take?”

  I struggled to keep the stupid grin off my face and stood up. She’d probably flip out if she saw how amused I was. But I couldn’t take her seriously. She had to be kidding, right? A contract? “I don’t know. I mean, you’re talking about taking me off the market for god knows how long?” I shook my head with an exaggerated frown and handed her the pen. “That’s a pretty big decision.”

  “But—”

  “But I’ll let you know when I do decide.” On an impulse, I leaned down and kissed her forehead. Right where the vein was pulsing like crazy. “Don’t worry, I don’t think it’ll take too long.”

  6

  -Evan-

  I made her wait three days. Like Jesus did before coming back to life. Well, barely three days. She gave me the contract Tuesday morning and started tracking me down by Thursday afternoon. And by tracking me down, I mean stalking me like a bounty hunter.

  On the third day, I was late—as usual—so I didn’t expect to see her until lunch. Five minutes after I parked the car and got to my locker, Taylor popped up like the Ghost of Christmas Past.

  “Did you decide yet?”

  My hand pulled off the lock but didn’t open the locker. I peered around the halls suspiciously before looking back at her. Dark bags were under her eyes, matching her dark eyes and scowl. “Do you have a surveillance camera on me or something? How did you know I was here?”

  Her nails scraped against the strap of her bag, and she looked down at her feet. “I didn’t. I was on my way to the office and happened to see you.”

  “Sure you did.” I grinned at her frown and opened my locker. A few folded papers fell out, all covered with neat, girly handwriting and exclamation points. “I see you had a pretty busy morning.”

  Blinking rapidly, Taylor snatched the papers from my hand and shoved them deep in her bag. “Momentary lapse of judgment. You weren’t responding to my texts, so I figured I’d have to get your attention somehow.”

  “Mission accomplished.” I watched her rock back and forth on her heels. How did anyone ever think she was an ice queen? The girl was like a whirlwind of emotions. On steroids. “Look, I know you’re anxious, but I’m pretty sure this could count as harassment. Do you need me to put a restraining order on you or something?”

  I meant it as a joke, but her gaze fell down to her feet. She looked vulnerable as hell. “God, you’re right. What the heck is wrong with me? It’s so stupid. This whole thing is. Just—just forget it.”

  My grin faded. I poked her shoulder. “Look, I didn’t—I mean, it is pretty stupid, but it’s, uh…” I didn’t know what I was trying to say. I just didn’t want her to burst out crying or something. I hated it when girls cried.

  Eyes still downcast, she bit her lower lip like a little kid who was just told she’d never get dessert again. “Maybe I should just go.”

  I grabbed her arm before she could walk away. “I didn’t mean—”

  A group of girls passed us, and I automatically raised my other hand to wave. A couple of them gave me a half smile before turning to Taylor. Their smiles widened, but this time they were obviously fake.

  “Do you think you’ll be able to make the Honor Society meeting this weekend, Taylor?” a petite Asian girl asked, blinking innocently. “I know how busy you are these days, and I’d be glad to monitor the meeting for you instead.”

  Taylor swallowed and straightened her shoulders. Her chin rose so it seemed like she was looking down at the other girls, even though most of them were her height. “I’ll be there, but thanks for asking, Lin. Maybe if you paid more attention to your classes instead of my social life, then you could have been the president of the club instead of just a secretary.” Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Taylor turned away like she was dismissing them.

  Lin gaped at her back for a few seconds before stomping away with her friends.

  With an admiring grin, I gave Taylor a slow round of applause. “Nicely done.”

  She let out an unsteady sigh and shrugged. “I can handle a couple of girls. So don’t worry. I have to get to class.”

  “Taylor—” I let out a loud sigh and banged my forehead against my locker after she left. Well, she just took the fun out of messing with her. Where was the sarcastic spitfire who was here seconds ago? I definitely would have preferred her pissed and hissing at me over sad and defeated any day.

  A hand slammed against the locker next to me, making me jump back. “Dude, what’d you do to your new girlfriend? Don’t tell me you kicked her to the curb already?”

  I pulled on my ears to make them stop ringing. “No, we’d have to be something first in order for me to kick her to the curb.”

  Aaron winced. “Ouch. So you’re just going to pretend nothing happened? Damn, that’s harsh, dude. Even for you. No wonder the Ice Queen looked like she was bawling when I passed her.”

  “Her name’s—” I turned to stare at him. “Wait, was she really crying?”

  He rubbed his chin. “I don’t know. I mean, her head was down, so maybe? I do feel bad for her, though. A bunch of people are hating on her a bit,” he said with a shrug.

  “Really?” I hadn’t heard anything. But then I never paid attention to what other people said. I thought back to the past couple of days. Those jerks in the cafeteria and the snotty girls just now. Maybe that was the real reason Taylor wanted to pretend to be dating. And why she was nagging me so much about it. I didn’t actually understand what she meant when she said she wanted to save her “reputation,” but maybe I should have asked instead of just laughing at her.

  “Yeah, but you know how girls can get sometimes. All emotional and bitchy. Especially with each other. It’s probably a good thing that you’re blowing her off then, right? Just in case she goes crazy on you.” His booming laughter echoed through the hall. “Dodged a bullet there. Believe me, having a real girlfriend is hard.”

  I couldn’t laugh with Aaron. Hell, I could barely focus on him at all. All I saw was Taylor’s disappointed face in my mind. Wide, sad brown eyes that glittered like the sea at night and defeated shoulders that made her look small and helpless. “Did you hear anything else?”

  Aaron shrugged and looked uncertain. “There was also some talk in the locker room earlier about who could get her into bed next, but you know how those douche bags can be. That’s why I don’t want to officially be on the team. Spending too much time with them will kill my love for football. And life.”

  My hands curled into fists at my side at the thought of those punks laughing at Taylor. “We have to go.”

  “Where are we going?”

  I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and started dragging him down the hall. “To the locker room to have a talk with some idiots and kick their asses. You’re going to tell me exactly who said what.”

  * * *

  “All right, you crazy girl, I’ll do it.” Even though I had made my decision once Aaron told me what was going on, I still couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of my mouth.

  Taylor stared at me and then around the room as though she wasn’t sure this was real. That I was actually standing at her front door. Cookie crumbs were dusted all over her lips, while Oreo wagged his tail and scampered around our feet. “Uh, what?”

  I pushed my way inside and pulled the stupid contract out of my back pocket. “I said I’ll be your boyfriend.”
<
br />   Her brown eyes widened in shock. “Really? I mean, seriously? You’re saying yes?”

  God, how many times was she going to make me say it? My hand scrawled a large, messy signature on the bottom line before I handed it over to her. “Yeah.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at the shocked look on her face and the way she clutched the sheets as though I’d take them back. It almost made my idiotic decision worth it. Almost. “I thought you’d be ecstatic that you’re finally getting your way.”

  “I am, but…” Taylor stared down at the paper in her hands. “I didn’t really think you’d agree to this.”

  To be honest, I hadn’t thought I would, either. Still, I had nothing better to do—or rather, no one better to date—at the moment, so I had nothing to lose. Besides, I felt sorry for Taylor. And a fierce need to protect her. Like I told the jerks in the locker room, she wasn’t someone any of them should mess with. Not if they didn’t want to face the consequences. It only took a couple of punches at an empty locker for them to realize I was serious. I rubbed my sore knuckles against my palm. “Who knows? Maybe it’ll be fun.”

  “Fun?” She repeated the word slowly, like she’d never heard of it before.

  “Yeah, fun.” I leaned back against the open doorframe, since she hadn’t exactly invited me in. “It’s what Webster’s Dictionary describes as a way to make life enjoyable? Like if I wanted to have fun, I’d go to the beach, while your idea of fun would be to spend all weekend in the library polishing your pens and laminating your homework.”

  A glint appeared in her eyes, and she mimicked my stance, leaning against the wall facing the door. “But now that we’re dating, that means you’re going to have to come to the library with me.”

  I was starting to like the way she switched personalities so quickly. Hell, maybe I really was going crazy. “Why?”

  “It’s all here in the fine print.” She waved the paper in front of my face before sticking it in her back pocket. “You should have read it before signing. Didn’t anyone tell you that? Let this be a lesson for you in the future.”