The Way to Game the Walk of Shame

by Jenn P. Nguyen

  “No, I’m not. I’m combining them because I’m just that awesome.” He grinned and shoved me off. “Now go find her.”

  It took a while to find Taylor. She didn’t pick up my call, and Carly told me that Taylor’s parents hadn’t picked her up yet. But she didn’t know where she was, either. For the next half hour, I searched the entire school. I even poked my head into the girls’ locker room to check. Nobody was there except Coach Jill checking some of the lockers. I bolted before she caught sight of me.

  Where could Taylor be?

  Somehow I found myself standing beneath the tree where we had our Valentine’s Day picnic, remembering how excited I was to bring Taylor here. Her ecstatic face when she saw my surprise. Things were so much easier then.

  And it was the exact place to find Taylor. I had almost missed her at first. She was half hidden behind the oak tree, facing toward the football field. She must have heard me coming, but she didn’t move. Not even when I came up behind her.

  “So you decided to stand me up to watch the jocks practice?” I leaned against the tree. My shadow fell over her small, curled-up form. “A little heads-up would have been nice.”

  “Sorry.” Her face was squished in her arms.

  I squatted down next to her, but she turned her head and just snuggled deeper in her sleeve. I let out a deep breath and remembered Aaron’s words. Just talk. “Are you still mad about the Lauren thing? I wasn’t going to meet her. I swear.”

  “I know you weren’t.”

  “Then what’s the matter?” When she didn’t answer, I poked at her shoulder until she finally looked up at me.

  There was a small smile on her face like she was trying to look happy and normal. But I could tell that something was wrong. Her eyes were red and a bit swollen. And even now, her lashes were slightly damp with tears.

  I sucked in a deep breath and my fists clenched together. “What’s wrong? Did something happen? Did someone say anything or—”

  Taylor grabbed my arm before I could jump up and beat up everyone in sight. “No, it’s just … it’s nothing.”

  “Doesn’t look like nothing.” I wiped away a remaining tear clinging to her cheek. “So, do you want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  There goes Aaron and his stupid plan. Try. Just keep trying. I sank down next to her, but she avoided my gaze. Her fingers just plucked at the blades of grass next to us and placed them in a neat pile, crisscrossed in a pattern.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  She let out a sigh. “I thought you understood that I didn’t want to talk?”

  “Just one question, I swear.” I coughed into my fist a few times. “You’re not crying because of me, right?

  Her hand knocked against the grass pile, knocking it over. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m not crying. My allergies are just going crazy right now.”

  “Okay, allergies.” I didn’t believe her lie for a second, but if she didn’t want to tell me, then I wasn’t going to push her. And if she was going to blame it on her allergies, then I was going to let her. I climbed to my feet and nudged her elbow with the tip of my toe. “I’ll take you home.”

  “I don’t really want to go home right now.”

  “But what about your dad?”

  Taylor gnawed on her lower lip and looked down. “They’re not expecting me home anytime soon. I’m supposed to be helping Brian with some newspaper stuff. But he—he doesn’t need me today.”

  There was something weird about her voice. But I was just glad that we could spend more time together. I reached out and took her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. “I know the perfect place to go where your allergies won’t bother you anymore.”

  * * *

  “So where’s this mysterious place you’re taking me?” Taylor asked after we got our hot dogs. She trailed a few steps behind me as we crossed the street, still licking the chili off her fingers.

  “God, are you still hungry? I should have let you eat mine, too.”

  “Like I would have had a chance to. You inhaled yours before I even put on the mustard. Did you even chew it?”

  “Nah, I have a pretty big mouth.” I walked backward so I could watch her, hands shoved in my pockets.

  “I noticed.”

  “Are you done? Can I hold your hand now?”

  She pulled a small bottle of antibacterial gel out of her purse and squirted a glop on her hands. “Why? No one’s here.”

  I waited until she finished before grabbing her. “Call it a habit. Besides, I don’t want you to get lost.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t get lost if you would only tell me where we’re—oh!” Taylor skidded to a stop by my side. “We’re going to the aquarium?”

  A feeling of contentment filled me as I looked up at the large white-and-blue building. This place was like home to me. When I was little, I wanted to move into the janitor’s utility closet. Even tried to pay him rent. “Yep. Come on.”

  We walked through the various rooms, and she cooed over the otters—especially Rachel, Shayda, Elana, and Lily, the four show-offs in front—and skidded away from the eels. She leaned in so close over the petting tank to touch the stingrays that I had to hold onto the back of her shirt to make sure she didn’t fall in.

  I’d always loved being there, but it was a different experience with Taylor. She hadn’t been here in years, so she had the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old.

  Finally we reached my favorite room of all. The Seas Room. It was a large room with benches on descending stairs like at a theater, and the stage was the largest exhibit in the aquarium. The entire wall was a glass tank that measured twenty-five-feet deep and held 600,000 gallons of water. And it was filled with various colorful schools of fish, sharks, sea turtles, and stingrays just swimming back and forth.

  Since it was nearly dinnertime, the room was empty, except for one couple and their little kid walking back and forth. They were more entertained by their kid than by the amazing ocean life in front of them. The little girl was pretty cute, though. Her red hair bounced on her shoulders as she danced in circles to her mom’s singing.

  Taylor’s eyes widened, and she stepped right up to the tank. Her hands reached out to touch the glass. “It’s beautiful here. And those turtles are huge!”

  “There used to be an even bigger one. Nearly twice as big as these babies, but poor Rudy died two years ago.”

  She turned to me with a little smirk. “Rudy, huh? I guess I know who your car’s named after now.”

  “Yeah, well…” I didn’t continue. She was right, but I couldn’t help feeling a little stupid. I mean, who names their car after a dead sea turtle? Instead, I turned and headed for the center seats, plopping down on the bench. My feet kicked my book bag beneath the seat. “My dad brought me here for the first time on my eleventh birthday. I loved it so much that he bought us a frequent pass, and we’d come back here every few weeks after that. You know, when he wasn’t in jail.”

  “You know, you say that so casually,” Taylor said, sitting next to me. “It doesn’t bother you that he goes—that he’s in there a lot?”

  “No. Not as much as it should.” I stretched out my legs on the seat in front of me. “It annoys me whenever Brandon mentions it, but that’s because he’s always trying to prove that he’s superior to us.”

  “But he’s not.”

  “Hell, no.”

  She gazed at me for a long moment before changing the subject. “It’s strange how they could be so peaceful together in there. They’re all swimming with the sharks.” Her hands waved around to emphasize her point. “If I were the sea turtles, I’d be scared out of my mind in there.”

  “Well, they get fed regularly, so there’s no danger of the sharks eating them.” I leaned an arm around her shoulders. “Hey, if we could get along, then why can’t they?”

  “That’s true. Here I am, alone with you, and I’m not scared at all.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re more like the sh
ark than any other animal in that tank,” I teased.

  Taylor laughed. “Whatever. You’re more dangerous than anyone I know.”

  “Oh yeah? And what are you in danger of?”

  She stared at me for a moment before raising an eyebrow and turning back to the tank. “Nah, you’re right. I am the shark.”

  “Told ya.”

  I watched for any indication that she was bored so we could leave, but she didn’t seem to mind being here. In fact, she slipped off her shoes, sat cross-legged, and leaned back on her hands, looking like she didn’t mind staying here forever. I know I didn’t.

  Letting out a deep breath, I tried again. “So are you ever going to tell me what’s wrong?”

  Her lips pursed together into a tight line, and Taylor shook her head. “It’s just … college stuff that’s stressing me out. I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Not sure if she was telling me the truth, I leaned back against her side and nodded, just glad that she wasn’t mad at me anymore. And she had been stressing about being wait-listed for a while. Maybe someone else had gotten in or something. The people at Columbia were idiots for not accepting her in the first place. Taylor was amazing.

  “Do you ever wonder if we’d be friends if it weren’t for that stupid party?” I didn’t know why that question popped out, or why the answer was important to me, but it was.

  “Probably not.” She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and smiled. “You’re kind of an ass.”

  “Yeah, I am, aren’t I?”

  “That’s okay. I’m kind of a shrew.”

  “Kind of?” I threw up my hands when her eyes narrowed. “All right, kind of is right, I guess.”

  Her lips curved in the first genuinely happy smile I’d seen from her all day, the kind that was so wide it practically covered her small face, and suddenly the world seemed brighter. Though it was probably because of the sun setting right through the window by the front entrance.

  “Do you remember that night? I don’t remember much of it.”

  Not much, but some bits and pieces had come back to me every once in a while. Awesome bits and pieces. “Yeah, you say a lot of weird stuff when you’re drunk.”

  “I did?” Taylor groaned and her arms swung up to cover her face. “God, I know I’m going to regret asking this, but what did we—what did we talk about?”

  If I were a nice guy, I would have lied and spared her the details. I wasn’t going to, though. It was too hilarious to forget. “Nothing much. You told me about your love for blue cotton candy and how you’re rotten and mean on the inside. Oh, and you told me that you have dirty thoughts all the time, and then you hit me.”

  Her head slowly lifted, eyes wide with shock and horror. “What?” She sounded hoarse and strangled.

  “You did. Right here.” I solemnly nodded and pointed to my right cheek. “I’m surprised you didn’t see the red mark.”

  “And what about … the other stuff?”

  “Oh, you mean the dirty stuff?” I smirked. “Well, it was pretty cold, so I couldn’t take off my clothes like you wanted me to, but I did let you feel me up above the waist. I drew the line at the pants, though. I’m not that kind of guy. You have to take me out to dinner first.”

  Her hand moved so fast that I almost didn’t see it. Almost. I shielded my head with my arms, but she was still able to smack me right by my left ear. The other couple and some workers were starting to stare at us. “Ouch! I’m sorry! Next time I will take off the pants!”

  Smack! This time it was even harder than before. I ducked, but she was prepared. “Stop.” Smack. “Saying.” Smack. “That! It’s not funny!”

  Finally I had to grab her arms to make her stop. “Settle down. We’re in a public place, you know.”

  Suddenly my words sank in, and Taylor backed off. Her face was beet red, but she stared at the tank again until everyone stopped looking at us. Her shoulders still silently shook with laughter.

  I don’t know how long we sat there in silence watching the fish, but when it got dark, I knew it was time to go. I didn’t want Taylor to be late for dinner and get in even more trouble because of me. I grabbed a bag from my backpack. “Here.”

  “What’s this?” Without waiting for me to answer, Taylor pulled out a stuffed otter I had bought from the gift shop. She wordlessly blinked at me.

  “Just something to say sorry. For your allergies.” Brian popped into my head at that exact moment. “If you ever need to talk, just call me. I could be here for you, too.”

  Taylor blinked at me again as though absorbing everything I’d just said. Finally, with a little squeal, she hugged me. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” I pulled away and beamed down at her, glad that she was happy again. “That’s what friends are for, right?” Within a few seconds, her delighted smile faded as she hugged the toy to her chest. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her, but she went back to watching the sea turtles. Her cheek pressed against the top of the otter, cushioning her frown. It’s strange how a single word could sound so heavy and be, well, not nothing at all.

  God, girls were confusing.

  23

  {Taylor}

  “Leos were known for their bravery in desperate times.”

  Ha! This proved that horoscopes were a bunch of crap. I wasn’t brave. I was a coward. A cowardly lion. Bring on the Wizard of Oz.

  Hiding wouldn’t solve anything. I knew that. Heck, it probably made things worse, but I couldn’t go to school. Not when Brian’s kiss was still fresh in my brain. And Evan’s aquarium date.

  Since Evan and I weren’t dating, I wasn’t necessarily a cheater. But I still felt guilty. And it did violate the contract. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I’d be the one to break that clause. Thank god I didn’t add a penalty fine like I had planned.

  Mom came into the kitchen just as I fished a fat pickle out of the jar. With pursed lips, she watched me chop it into even, microscopic pieces. She finally spoke up when I reached for another one. “Are you feeling better now?”

  “Yeah, I just had a headache this morning, but I’m okay now.”

  “Good, now you can tell me what’s wrong.”

  I wiped my juice-covered hands on a white dishtowel, staining it light green. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you skipped school today, and now instead of studying or working on something, you’re chopping up enough stuff to feed an army.” She crossed her arms on the countertop across from me and leaned forward. “What’s bothering you?”

  Jeez, what was with the third degree? I let out a sigh and scooped the pickles into the mixing bowl. “Can’t a girl make some tuna in peace?”

  “A normal girl, yes. You? No.” Mom cocked her head to the left and smiled. “After you got your wait-list letter, we had enough tuna to feed an army of neighborhood cats for months. Then there was the time after your physics exam that you swore you failed. And before that—”

  “All right, I get the point.” I hadn’t realized that I always made tuna when I was stressed, but I guess I did. We had one of those swift-chopping blenders that cut everything up for us, but I liked chopping out the ingredients. There was something calming about meticulously cutting everything myself. It took more time, but I always felt better afterward.

  Just then Dad walked into the kitchen and stopped in his tracks at the sight of us. “What’s with the nightly meeting?”

  “Taylor’s making tuna.”

  His eyes widened. “Oh. Umm, I’m going back into the living room, then. Let me know when it’s safe to come back for my ice cream.”

  I watched him rush out of the kitchen and turned to Mom, who was trying to hide her grin. “Does everybody know about this tuna thing?”

  “Basically.” She picked up one of the hard-boiled eggs and knocked it against the countertop. “So what’s wrong?”

  My eyes shifted down to my cutting board, suddenly embarrassed to
be confiding in Mom. “I’m having some trouble with … guys.”

  She let out a little squeal and clasped her hands together. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited for you to say that. For us to finally have a mother-daughter talk. Is it Evan? What did he do? Is he pressuring you about sex?”

  “Oh god. No, Mom!” I smacked my hand against my forehead. Maybe asking her was a mistake. I should have finished my tuna in peace. “Just forget about it.”

  “Nooo!” She grabbed my arm and tugged on it like Kimmy did whenever she wanted me to buy her candy from the store. “I’m sorry, just tell me what’s wrong.”

  “It’s just…” I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tried to figure out how to ask her opinion without revealing too much. “Why do you like Evan so much?”

  “What do you mean? He’s sweet. Fun. And you have to admit, he’s pretty easy on the eyes.”

  My brow wrinkled. “Yeah, but … we don’t have anything in common. At all. I’m just surprised that you’re so supportive of us dating, that’s all.”

  “I suppose he is one of those boys I should be warning you about. Or hiring a chaperone to follow you two everywhere.” Mom pursed her lips together in thought as she continued peeling the rest of the eggs. “I guess I’m just glad that you’re finally acting like a normal teenager. Dating and having fun. I was fully prepared for all the angst and fighting that comes with a teenage daughter, but you were never like that. You got terrific grades. You’re driven, and you know exactly what you want to do with your life. And nothing gets in the way of that. You barely go out, so you don’t break your curfew. And you always help out around the house and do what you are supposed to do.”

  “I’m … sorry?”

  She laughed. “I’m not complaining. It’s just … you became an adult by the time you were eleven, and sometimes I wonder if that’s because of your dad. The real one. And our fighting all the time. You never got to be a kid like Kimmy.”

  I traced the flower designs on the countertop. “Some people are just different.”

  “Yeah.” Mom let out a sigh and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. “I just don’t want you to miss out on anything because of me.”