The Way to Game the Walk of Shame

by Jenn P. Nguyen

  My earliest writing started on a Harry Potter fan site. Specifically HE—Hogwarts Experience. There were countless hours of working on projects, writing fan fiction, and roleplaying with the best group of people. And I can’t bring up roleplaying without giving a special shout-out to Elana, Lifey, and Veronica. Thank you for helping me learn the importance of character bios and honing my guy voice. Or rather, Evan thanks you!

  To my wonderful family and friends. It took me ages to tell anyone that I wanted to be a writer. And even longer to admit that I’d written an actual book. Even now, it’s hard to say that I’m an author because it still doesn’t feel real. There are times when all the doubts and fears still come creeping in. But then I hear the pride and joy in your voice when you tell people that I’m an author, and it makes all this worth it. Thank you for supporting me all these years. Even if you didn’t know you were.

  I always tell people that I started reading in the first place because my sisters didn’t want to play with me when we were growing up and there was nothing else to do. (Which is totally true.) So in a way, Thuc, Quynh, and Kien, you guys are the true reason this book exists. ☺ But to be honest, you taught me so many things in life and you were always there for me. Whether I wanted you to be or not. And even though you nearly chased Quynh off on prom night, there’s no harm done now since we’re married. And it makes for a hilarious story. Not to sound overly mushy, but you really are the best sisters anybody could hope for.

  To my wonderful parents. I barely know what to say to even show an ounce of how much I appreciate and love you. There could be an entire new book dedicated to you and it still wouldn’t be enough. I wouldn’t be here without your support and care. I wouldn’t even be here without you. Mom, nothing makes me happier than hanging out with you, watching Asian dramas all night. You always listen to me talk and ramble about everything and anything with a smile on your face. And, Dad, one of my fondest memories as a kid is when you brought home a boxful of books that you picked up at a yard sale or consignment shop for me. Even though you’re not with me anymore, I know that you’re still here to guide me with everything I do, every word that I write. I don’t know how I lucked out in having you both as my parents. ☺ Thank you both for raising me, teaching me the value of hard work, and pushing me to go for my dreams.

  To Quynh, my husband, the true owner of the REAL Rudy. The first thing you ever fed me was pizza on April 28, 2003. Even though it didn’t have enough mushrooms, it was still one of the best things I’ve ever eaten. And we’ve eaten together A LOT since then. But that pizza will always be special to me because it was the first meal we had together. The beginning of our relationship and the start of my happily-ever-after. Thank you for being here for me. For the hundred trips to Barnes just so I can look at the books and get inspiration. For taking care of me while I struggle with edits. This book wouldn’t be a book without you. I wouldn’t be me without you. ♥

  List of reasons why Evan should be my fake boyfriend

  • Improved reputation among everyone, teachers and adults. They love me (perfect grades and attendance, extracurricular activities which include Honor Society, student council, tutoring, yearbook, etc.) and the love will spill over to Evan.

  • Help with homework/improve grades (although that shouldn’t be too hard, anything is better than his grades now).

  • Help with college applications (probably too late because applications have been due for a while now). Community college?

  • Research colleges with late acceptances.

  • Find out if Evan has a pet. Offer to walk/wash it.

  • Promise to clean his room three times a week. Or scrub his surfboard. Wax?

  • Free legal work for the three years after graduation from Columbia.

  • Bribe him with rare comic books. Note to self: Look up rare comic books

  • Protection from girls?

  • Because he actually likes me? IMPOSSIBLE

  The Contract

  In light of the recent events, henceforth the aftermath of The Party That Shall Not Be Mentioned (TPTSNBM), it has been brilliantly determined that in order to salvage what’s left of our reputations, a fake relationship shall be made between the two parties listed below along with the guidelines and stipulations that will be required of this “relationship.”

  * * *

  find out Evan’s middle name?

  * * *

  This agreement executed on the ____ day of ____________ 2016, between Taylor Elizabeth Simmons and Evan McKinley is a binding contract that will curse penalize the offending party when he breaks one of the rules. Punishments and penalty fines may be added to the contract later on if needed. Once a satisfying result has been reached and agreed upon, the two parties will amicably break up in public to officially sever the ties and dissolve this contract. Until then, they will abide by the rules listed below.

  Section 1: Relationship requirements in public eye

  1.1 Public Displays of Affection. Hand holding and kisses on the cheek are acceptable in public at school. Anything more has to be discussed and agreed upon by both parties.

  1.2 Pet Names. Pet names aren’t required unless in extremely romantic situations. Ex. Valentine’s Day or a birthday. Even then, they only need to be used when within hearing distance of other people.

  1.3 Dates. At least once a week, both parties will go on a proper date to show that they’re in a real relationship. Ex. Movies, dinner, or even library study dates will work.

  Section 2: Prohibited

  2.1 While in this relationship, neither party will date nor have any inappropriate interactions with the opposite sex unless approved by the other party. This includes flirting in person, texting, or online.

  2.2 Obviously any mention of this contract to anyone will violate this entire agreement and the Ultimate Punishment will be enforced. (Ultimate Punishment will be decided upon later.)

  -This rule excludes Carly because she basically came up with this idea and is privy to any and all secrets. Not to mention, she’ll find out about this anyway with her secret snooping powers.

  Section 3: Miscellaneous

  3.1 If asked by anyone, the evolution of our relationship/“love” is explained in detail in the following pages. The short version is below. Also note that our relationship was already official and underway when the events of “TPTSNBM” happened.

  “Although Evan and Taylor already knew each other, they never actually officially met until a fateful afternoon at Starbucks two months ago. They both ordered a mocha latte, but Evan’s had skim milk, which the waitress accidentally gave to Taylor. After exchanging the lattes, Evan was so occupied watching Taylor walk away that he stepped into the street and nearly got run over by a black SUV. Luckily, her warning shout made him jump back on the curb in the nick of time. After Taylor checked on him to make sure he was okay, Evan asked her out to dinner to thank her for saving him. At first, Taylor declined since he wasn’t exactly her type, but he persisted by showing up at her house with a fresh mocha latte every single morning before school until she accepted.

  Since then, they talked on the phone and went on dates for over two months before officially going out. The party was their way of debuting their relationship to the world.”

  Both parties will agree to all the terms and conditions upon signing of the contract.

  Sign name ________________________________

  Sign name ________________________________

  *Note to self: When typing up the final draft, make it sound more legal and fierce to freak Evan into signing. Intimidation for the win!

  Also borrow Dad’s legal stationery. The one with the ivory letterhead.

  Should I get it laminated afterward?

  A Coffee Date

  with author Jenn P. Nguyen and her editor, Holly West

  “About the Author”

  Holly West (HW): What was the very first romance novel that you ever read?

  Jenn P. Nguyen (JN): I think the first rom
ance novel I ever read was in sixth grade. I don’t remember the author or the title or anything, probably because I was trying to hide in the cafeteria when I was reading it. But it was a medieval story about two feuding families, and for some reason the youngest and only girl was masquerading as a boy. I don’t know why. And then the other family had a guy who met her and fell in love with her. And they got married even though she didn’t really like him. Probably because he was cocky. They’re usually cocky. And they just got better. I don’t remember the ending, but I do remember that much.

  HW: That feels very familiar to me. It sounds like a Johanna Lindsey book, but I don’t remember the title either.

  JN: I’ve read a lot of Johanna Lindsey books and I haven’t seen it. So I don’t think it’s hers because I read her books. But I always wanted to know what that book was.

  HW: I’m curious now, too! Maybe one of your readers will know and can send a tweet to @JennP_Nguyen and @Holliambria to solve the puzzle.

  JN: It was like 15 years ago, if that helps.

  HW: Keeping with our romantic theme, do you have an OTP (One True Pairing)? A favorite fictional couple?

  JN: That’s really hard. I’m kind of a serial fan where I like all types of couples as long as I’m reading them. I like all the couples in Stephanie Perkins, I like Jessica and Marcus in The Sloppy Firsts, the Jessica Darling books. Of course, everyone has to like Elizabeth and Darcy, but I actually like—I might get yelled at for this—I like the Lizzie and Darcy from The Lizzie Bennett Diaries on YouTube better. And technically that’s a book now, so it’s still literary. I mean, I even shipped Edward and Bella at one point. So just anybody, really.

  HW: That’s fine. I tend to pick an OTP in everything that I read. Or if I’m watching shows I’ll be like, “I’m going to ship THIS couple in this show.”

  JN: Oh, don’t get me started on shows. It would be a while.

  HW: And my personal favorite question: If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

  JN: I would like to be able to teleport places, because then I could visit wherever I wanted, and also eat anything I wanted whenever I wanted it. Croissants from France, sushi from Japan, definitely pizza from Italy—and not have to worry about the plane and security lines and all of that.

  “The Swoon Reads Experience”

  HW: How did you first hear about Swoon Reads?

  JN: I learned about it at Romantic Times 2014 because I danced the Swoon-ba to get a free tote! I didn’t even know what Swoon Reads was, but I wanted the tote bag! Then I looked it up afterward just to see a little bit.

  HW: What made you decide to put your manuscript up on the site?

  JN: It was actually Sandy Hall’s book. Because I found it at Barnes & Noble randomly, and I read it, and I really liked it. I thought, “This is a sweet, fun romance. And if this was chosen, maybe I have a chance?” So I went and posted.

  HW: What was your experience like on the site before you were chosen?

  JN: They always have those contests online where if you do the best, then you win a publishing contract or something. And I never really wanted to do that because it seemed like a popularity contest. But with Sandy Hall I could see Swoon Reads wasn’t that. People genuinely liked it and they gave really good comments. It was awesome to get comments like, “I love it!” or “Great book!” but I also got great comments about the characters, and I could tell the readers had put a lot of thought into it and they wanted to help make it better. That was awesome.

  “The Writing Life”

  HW: Do you have any writing rituals, like do you have to write in a specific place?

  JN: Not a specific place. I really could write anywhere. Now usually I write at home. I used to write at cafes, Barnes & Noble, libraries … I think my very first novel I wrote on little Subway napkins when I was working at Subway. I think I still have it. As for rituals, I always have to have music on. If it’s too quiet, I can’t concentrate. And I like to print out my outline and have it next to me, so whenever I write something I can check it off and it always makes me feel good. If I don’t have the printout, I can’t write.

  HW: What is your writing process? You just mentioned you have an outline. How does that work for you?

  JN: Usually when I have a general idea, then I think of names and pictures. I have to have names and pictures. Maybe so when I plot I see their faces in my head? Then I plot out a detailed chapter outline so that when I finish a chapter I can check it off.

  HW: What was it like to get the edit letter?

  JN: It was nerve-racking because I didn’t know what to expect. We had talked a little before about what changes we wanted to do, but it was a little more specific. I remember opening it up and it was like 17 pages. I freaked out a little bit. But it was good. I read through it a couple times and I could see everything and understand, so it wasn’t that bad at all. Not as bad as I thought.

  HW: How does the revision process work for you?

  JN: When I got the notes, I wrote a new outline with “Things to Change” at the top. Change Lauren, take out a character, strengthen these relationships, have Aaron show up more, etc. And then I wrote for each chapter a brief outline of what happens and then what needed to be changed. Sometimes it was no changes, sometimes it was small tweaks, and sometimes it was scrapped completely and rewrite. And then I go through my list.

  HW: What is the very best writing advice you’ve ever heard?

  JN: It’s one that I think everyone’s heard and repeated over and over, but “Write what you want to write.” Write what you love. Don’t write what you expect other people want to read or what’s popular right now. I’ve tried doing that. I’ve added drama and tension and a lot of issues just because that’s what people say they want. And it just never worked out well. I was never happy with it, and if you want to get it published, you have to work with it a lot and reread a lot. And if you’re not happy with it, then it’s just going to be really hard.

  From the author of How to Say I Love You Out Loud …

  After taking the fall for a cyberbullying incident, former mean girl Nikki Baylor thinks her life is over. Then she meets Pax, a hot wheelchair rugby player who shows her that everyone deserves a second chance.

  Coming August 2, 2016

  Chapter 1

  As I park in the lot of the Harborview Nursing and Rehabilitation Center, I realize that, for the first time ever, I’m actually excited to be there. I’m working a short, three-hour shift, and the shift itself won’t be so bad, since I’m filling in on the orthopedics wing, where Jeremiah’s been assigned.

  After work, the two of us have plans to check out the end-of-summer party that spans the length of Ocean Isle’s boardwalk. Since I’ve seen it in those mailers that started showing up after the Fourth of July, the phrase end-of-summer has stirred feelings of anxiety, loss, and sadness. But tonight it means it’s time for a party. One final opportunity to eat handfuls of hot caramel corn with the salty breeze blowing across my face. One night to forget about everything else going on, in a crowd large and chaotic enough to get lost in.

  I lift my butt off the seat and scrunch my hair as I look in the rearview mirror. Once upon a time, I was a shoo-in for “Best Hair” in the senior superlatives—it’s long and wildly curly, with natural highlights. All summer long I’ve tucked it under a baseball cap with the brim pulled down anytime I’ve been forced to leave my house. But not tonight. I made an effort to look good for Jeremiah. And I want to pretend I’m the girl I used to be.

  Walking across the parking lot, I decide this place would be a lot more appealing if there was, you know, an actual view of the harbor. Instead, it’s located miles inland, in the middle of a bleak field. The builders tried to spruce it up with the usual gazebos and flower beds, but the name is still a bold-faced lie. It’s a depressing place to be, for all of us who are here because we have no choice in the matter.

  But not tonight! I think, breezing through the automatic doors with renewed energy
as I picture Jeremiah’s face. Tonight, it’s a good place to be. I head toward the nurses’ station to clock in, but when I catch a glimpse of Jeremiah through the glass-paneled cafeteria walls, I make a detour, a sudden diet Dr Pepper craving developing.

  I feel giddy as I walk in his direction. We’ve been flirting for the past two weeks, since I started my stint at the rehab center. Jeremiah’s a sophomore at Rutgers University, with a long-term plan for med school and a specialty in orthopedics—as he explained it to me, “I want to break some bones and fix ’em up again.” Jeremiah’s got it all worked out, but his plans are on hold at the moment. He’s taking a semester off to help out with some family issues. He hasn’t said what kind of issues, and I haven’t felt right asking; I assume he’ll tell me eventually.

  In the meantime, I’m content with the flirting. Jeremiah’s really hot—Abercrombie model hot, with the cool hair, and the scruff, and the smirk. He even looks good in scrubs. “One day women are going to be falling down the stairs on purpose just to end up in your waiting room,” I’ve teased him.

  He’s sweet, too, taking the mop out of my hands and pushing it himself, and one time walking me to my car under an umbrella from the lost and found when it started pouring without warning. Then two nights ago, he snatched my phone and programmed his number. “So call me tonight,” he’d said all coolly as he tossed it back. I had, and now we have a date.

  Jeremiah turns away from the register and slides his wallet into the back pocket of his scrubs, and his eyes meet mine. I smile and wave and wait for him to smile back.

  But he doesn’t smile. He glowers instead, his brown eyes ignited with a fury that turns them amber.

  “I know who you are.” He’s not discreet; he’s loud, pointing his index finger in my direction. “And you can go straight to hell.”

  The blood drains from my face and runs cold. I want to vanish, but I can’t move. My feet feel as if they’re stuck in the wet sand left behind when a wave recedes, weighted down and useless.