Secrets and Sacrifice: A Christian Romance (The Shadows Trilogy Book 4)

by Juliette Duncan

  “You must get snow here in winter. What do you do then?”

  “Oh, Mother showed me how to keep the seeds and bulbs to plant in early spring, and it worked! I was so surprised when the first shoots came up. In fact, we had a party to celebrate!”

  The chatter continued around the table, but Brianna didn't join in. Instead, she hid herself in the colouring book, just lifting her head occasionally. At least she was still here, that was something, but Grace got the feeling she wasn't okay. She knew her too well. Grace pushed back her chair. “I think we might freshen up before dinner, if you don’t mind.”

  Lizzy jumped up. “Oh, I’m sorry. You both must be tired. Feel free to take a bath or a shower, and have a rest if you like. Dinner for the adults isn’t until seven, so there’s plenty of time.”

  "Thanks." Grace smiled at Lizzy as she placed her hand lightly on Brianna's shoulder and motioned for her to follow.

  When Grace and Brianna were on their own in the bedroom, Grace sat beside Brianna on one of the beds and put her arm around her. “What’s up, Bibi? Something's wrong. What is it?”

  Brianna shrugged and hung her head. “They’re all so nice. I won’t fit in.”

  “Oh Bibi, don’t feel like that. They’re family, and they want you to feel welcome.” Grace lifted Brianna’s chin and turned her face towards her. Brianna’s eyes were filled with tears. Grace pulled her close and hugged her, brushing her hair with her hand. “I'm sure it’ll be okay, just give it time. But I'll keep my promise and take you home if you want to leave.”

  Brianna didn't reply. Instead, she pulled away and curled up on the bed, hugging a pillow to her chest as she closed her eyes.

  As Grace looked at Brianna's pitiful frame, hopes of ever getting her well faded and despair for her sister's future grew.

  Chapter Twelve

  An hour or so later, Grace managed to get Brianna showered and dressed, and they headed back towards the kitchen. The rest seemed to have done Brianna good—at least she was prepared to leave the room and come for dinner. The sound of a piano playing drew them into a cosy living room where Lizzy sat at a piano beside Dillon. He was propped on a cushion so he could reach the keys, and he looked so cute. And could he play! He and Lizzy were playing together, and whilst Lizzy was the better player, Dillon was doing a great job for a four-year old.

  Grace and Brianna stood at the door listening until Lizzy must have sensed their presence and turned around.

  “Don’t let us stop you,” Grace said. “You’re both great!” The cheeky smile on Dillon’s face made Grace laugh. “I don’t know how you got him to sit still for so long, though.”

  “That’s part of the bargain. If he wants to run around like a tornado, he also has to do piano lessons. No lessons, no play. It’s that simple, isn’t it, Dillon?” Lizzy ruffled his hair and he nodded eagerly, looking up into his mother’s face with a cheeky grin, just like his father’s. Lizzy and Danny were so lucky to have such lovely children. Who would have thought that her brother, Daniel O’Connor, ex-alcoholic, would turn out to be such a model husband and father, and manager of a place such as this. Amazing.

  “We were just finishing up anyway. It’s almost bed time for the children. Come and tuck them in with me.” Lizzy stood and closed the piano lid, and then led Grace and Brianna into the children’s bedrooms. Dillon ran ahead, grabbing Grace’s hand and dragging her with him.

  “Come on, Auntie Grace, you can read me a story.”

  Grace shuddered, but chuckled at the same time. What could she do? She didn't have a choice.

  Lizzy sprinted after him and grabbed his pyjama top, managing to stop him just before he reached his room. “Whoa there, Dillon, slow down. You’ll pull your auntie’s arm off!”

  Dillon had his own little room next to the twins’ room, and he pulled Grace in there and directed her to sit on his bed while he chose a book from his bookshelf. His floor was covered with toy trucks and cars. Dillon jumped onto the bed and presented her with his book of choice. Grace groaned. Of course it would be a Bible story book.

  She rarely read to Caleb and Caitlin’s girls, but when she did, they usually chose Bible stories too, and Grace always struggled to read them, mainly because of the memories they brought back. Memories of happier times when Mam was still alive, and she’d gather the children around at bedtime and read to them all. Mam loved her Bible stories, but what made it worse, she actually believed them. Mam had a simple faith, and it annoyed Grace. God hadn’t saved her in the end, so what use was He? Surely if He loved her like Mam said He did, He would have healed her, and then they all could have stayed together as a family, and she and Brianna wouldn't have gone to Aunt Hilda’s. And Brianna wouldn't have been raped by her cousins, and Grace wouldn't have…

  “Are you going to read it, Auntie Grace?” Dillon’s little voice interrupted her thoughts.

  “Yes, I’m sorry, Dillon.” Grace quickly opened the book and began reading, pushing her memories away.

  When Grace reached the end, Dillon promptly asked if she could read another.

  “I don’t think so, I think it’s time for bed. I can hear your Mum finishing up with the twins. Do you need to clean your teeth and go to the toilet?”

  Dillon pushed his bottom lip out. “I don’t like cleaning my teeth.

  “You need to look after them or they’ll fall out.”

  His little face lit up. “That’s what Da says.”

  Grace sucked in a breath. Dillon’s reference to Da brought a sudden memory of her own Da. That horrid man who'd caused all their problems. Just as well Danny was nothing like him.

  Just then, Danny appeared at the door and Dillon jumped up and ran into his arms. “Daddy, you made it!”

  “You bet I did, little man.” Danny spun Dillon round and then plonked him down on the bed beside Grace. “Have you been good for Auntie Grace?”

  “I’m always good.”

  Danny laughed. “Yes, right… and did she read to you?” Danny glanced at Grace and winked at her.

  “Yes, she read me Noah's Ark.”

  “That’s about the hundredth time you’ve had that book read to you. Maybe you should pick a different one tomorrow night.”

  “But it’s my favourite, Daddy.”

  “Yes, I know, and it’s a grand story. Anyway, I believe it’s bed-time, so off you go. Toilet, teeth and bed.”

  “And prayers.”

  “Yes, and prayers.”

  “Can Auntie Grace pray with me?”

  Grace stiffened. Please don’t ask me to do that…

  Danny glanced at her, briefly meeting her gaze. “I’m sure Auntie Grace would love to pray with you, Dillon. Wouldn't she?”

  Grace narrowed her eyes and glared at Danny. He knew she wouldn't want to pray. The hide of him to put her on the spot like that! As much as it irked her, she'd have to go along with it to keep Dillon happy, so she put on a happy face but spoke through clenched teeth. “Of course I’ll pray with you, Dillon. Just as soon as you've cleaned your teeth and been to the toilet.”

  In the next room, Lizzy was doing much the same with the twins. Brianna was with them, and Grace had heard James ask if she could read to them, but Lizzy had stepped in and said maybe Auntie Brianna could read to him another time. Thank goodness Lizzy seemed to understand where Brianna was at.

  Dillon cleaned his teeth in record time and was back in the room waiting for Grace to say prayers with him. Danny had gone into the twins’ room, so Grace had no option but to get down on her knees beside Dillon, but there was no way she was going to steeple her hands like he was doing.

  “Will you go first, Auntie Grace?” He looked at her with his sweet innocent face, almost melting her heart. How had she gotten herself into this position? Grace O’Connor, barrister, atheist, murderer, kneeling on the floor with a four-year old, praying to a god she didn’t believe in?

  She couldn't do it. “Why don’t you go first, Dillon?”

  “Okay.” He squeezed his eyes shut
and began. “Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for bringing Auntie Grace to stay with us. And the other Auntie, I can’t remember her name. Mam says she needs Your help, so Lord Jesus, can you please help her? I’m sorry for being naughty for Mia today, and please help me to have a good sleep tonight. Thank you for loving me, and for giving me my Mam and Da, and James and Clare. I love them lots. Amen.” He looked up and smiled. “It’s your turn.”

  Grace gulped. How could she pray? She'd vowed she’d never talk to God again after Mam’s funeral. And she hadn’t. But this little four-year old had put her on the spot, and she’d have to break her promise. “Okay, close your eyes.”

  She gulped. This was not going to be easy. “Dear God. Thank you for Dillon, and for his love of life. And thank you for bringing me here so I can spend time with him and with his mum and dad. Watch over him tonight as he sleeps, and let us have a good day tomorrow. Amen.”

  Grace quickly brushed unexpected tears from her eyes, but not quickly enough.

  “Are you crying, Auntie Grace?” Dillon’s little face peered up at her.

  “No.” She brushed the last tear away and sucked in a breath. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

  “I need my animals. I take three to bed... Mouse, Rabbit and Fred. Here they are.” He put the three stuffed animals under his blankets and snuggled down with them. "Good night Auntie Grace. I love you.” As he smiled up at her, tears pricked her eyes again.

  She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you too, Dillon. Night night. Sleep tight.”

  “Good night.”

  She stepped back and tip-toed out of the room, flicked the light switch, and bumped into Danny just outside the room.

  “You did good, Grace. Dillon’s taken with you.” He squeezed her hand as he whispered. “I knew he would be.”

  Grace shrugged. “I don’t know why.”

  “I told him you’re a very clever person and that you wear a wig when you’re at work, and that you’re my little sister, just like Clare’s his little sister.” Danny stepped towards her and hugged her before drawing back and meeting her gaze. “And that did it for him, Grace. You’re now his favourite Auntie.”

  Grace couldn't help it. She blinked back unwelcome tears that sprang to her eyes as mixed emotions assailed her.

  Danny brushed her tears away with his thumb and drew her close. “It’s so good to have you here, Grace.” His voice was soft and caring, and she knew he meant it. But drat the man. He had a knack of getting through her carefully constructed walls and exposing her inner feelings, and she couldn't allow that to happen.

  Grace sucked a deep, slow breath and regained her control. “Thanks Danny, it's good to be here.”

  “Come on now, supper must be almost ready, and there are people waiting to meet you.”

  Grace groaned. A nice quiet evening with Danny and Lizzy would have been preferable. Now she’d have to put up all her defences since no doubt all the people waiting to meet her and Brianna were Christians. And that was not something she looked forward to at all.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Grace followed Danny down the hallway into a larger room she hadn’t noticed before. Tucked away at the other side of the kitchen, it served as a dining room and lounge room all in one. Brianna was already seated on the edge of an old brown leather couch, looking very uncomfortable. Lizzy, perched on the arm of the couch beside her, was talking to another shorter, chubbier young woman who wore a pleasant smile. Brianna looked up as Grace entered the room and shot her a plea for help.

  As Grace stepped closer to Brianna and Lizzy, a man, possibly in his early forties, entered from the door at the far end. Her heart skipped a beat. Acutely conscious of his tall, athletic physique, her eyes were drawn to him like bees to a honey pot. His smile was wide and warm as Danny clapped his arm around the man's shoulders. “Ryan, great to see you. Come and meet my sisters."

  Grace quickly pulled herself together as Danny steered Ryan towards the group at the couch, but she couldn't stop the ripple of excitement that flowed through her as his brilliant blue eyes met hers.

  Danny smiled as he made the introductions, seemingly unaware of the undercurrents flowing between her and this hunk of a man. "Grace, Brianna, meet my good friend and co-worker, Ryan MacGregor. Ryan, these are my sisters, Grace, and Brianna."

  Grace raised her brow slightly as she took Ryan’s outstretched hand, which was firm, warm and masculine.

  “Nice to meet you, Grace.” His voice was just as warm as the touch of his hand. With a name like MacGregor, she'd expected a broad Scots accent, but instead, he spoke with an English one. She was almost disappointed.

  “And nice to meet you too, Ryan.” Her voice was low and husky as she held his gaze.

  “I’ve heard a lot about you, Grace.” His blue eyes sparkled, and his hand remained in hers slightly longer than would normally be expected on occasions such as this.

  “All good, I hope?” She gave a small laugh.

  “Of course. Danny wouldn’t have a bad word to say about anyone.” Ryan elbowed Danny gently in the ribs and chuckled.

  “I can always count on you to build me up, Rye old man.” Danny gave Ryan a playful punch on the arm.

  Grace laughed at their friendly banter. Supper with the staff might be fun after all.

  Still very much aware of Ryan's presence beside her, Grace tore her eyes away and glanced at Brianna as Ryan shook her hand. Grace winced as Brianna only managed a cursory smile.

  Brianna certainly gave the impression she didn't want to be here, but then, Danny and Lizzy would be used to that, from what Lizzy had said.

  The chubby young woman, who was introduced as Emily, sat beside Brianna and began chatting when Lizzy excused herself.

  Grace returned her attention to Ryan, quirking her eyebrow. “And what do you do here?”

  Danny squeezed her shoulder before Ryan could answer. “I’ll leave you to it, sis—I need to help Lizzy.” He promptly disappeared into the kitchen, leaving her alone with Ryan.

  Amusement flickered in Ryan's face. “I’m in charge of the outdoors programme.”

  Of course… that would make sense. "What types of things do you do?”

  He shrugged. “Depends on the season, but in summer, like now, we do all sorts… mountain climbing, hiking, abseiling, rafting, rowing, and in winter, tobogganing and cross-country skiing, but there’s also an indoor gym, so most of winter’s spent in there.”

  Grace angled her head. “The students get to do all that?”

  Ryan nodded. “Yep. It’s often the first time any of them have done anything like this, so it can be a real challenge for them, but they usually love it once they get over their initial fear." He smiled at her, sending another ripple of excitement flowing through her. "Can I get you a drink, Grace?”

  “Thought you'd never ask. Gin and tonic, thanks.”

  Ryan laughed as if he was sincerely amused. "You won't get one of those here, Grace, sorry. It's soft drink or punch.”

  She let out a frustrated sigh. She should have realised. Of course they wouldn't serve alcohol here… what was she thinking? She drew in a breath. "Guess I'll have a punch."

  He steered her towards a table where a punchbowl sat and poured two glasses before handing her one.

  “First time in the Highlands?"

  She nodded.

  "I can take you into the mountains one day if you’d like.”

  She raised a brow. “Hiking?”

  “We can drive if you prefer.” His eyes twinkled.

  She chuckled. “Driving sounds good… let me think about it.” She took a sip of her punch.

  Stepping closer, he lowered his voice. “Danny told me a little about your sister. She's come to the right place."

  Grace rubbed the back of her neck and blew out a breath. “She doesn’t want to be here.”

  “Most of the new students say that when they first arrive, but it usually just takes a day or two, and then we can’t get them to leave!”
/>
  Grace shrugged. “Guess we'll see."

  "Come on, supper’s served." He cupped her elbow with his hand and directed her to the table, where he pulled a chair out for her before taking a seat next to her.

  Brianna sat on the opposite side of the table between Emily and Lizzy. Danny sat to Lizzy’s right, and then another older woman, who introduced herself as Rosemary, sat on his other side. Rosemary had a broad Scottish accent, and taught sewing and piano. She also oversaw the female students’ general welfare and was the first person they should see if they had any issues or concerns. Emily was in charge of the kitchen and other domestic duties. The last person at the table was David, Rosemary's husband. Like Rosemary, David also had a broad Scottish accent. He was in charge of the Bible school, and also oversaw the male students’ welfare. Grace learned during the course of the evening that Lizzy also taught basic literacy skills in the school, as often students arrived without being able to read or write, but the one who surprised Grace the most was Danny. He taught classes in basic Christianity.

  “So who funds all of this?” Grace asked Ryan during a break in the meal, which was being served by two of the students. It was a blunt question, but someone had to be paying for it all, and Grace was curious. The students obviously weren't paying.

  Ryan chuckled before sipping his drink and leaning closer. “A lot of people wonder that… David and Rosemary own the property, and a number of interested people provide financial support, and I've got my Army pension, so we get by.”

  “You were in the Army?” Grace's eyes shot open.

  “Yes, for just over twenty-two years.” Grace did a quick calculation. That would make him in his early forties, depending on when he joined.

  “Where did you serve?” She held her breath.

  Ryan angled his head. “You really want to know?”