Secrets and Sacrifice: A Christian Romance (The Shadows Trilogy Book 4)

by Juliette Duncan

  "It must have been so hard on you both."

  Nodding, Grace pushed back her tears and swallowed hard. "It was so sad. And that's what made me determined to become a barrister. To put people like…" she stopped mid-sentence. She couldn't disclose who'd raped Bibi without opening herself up to questions about why they hadn't reported their cousins. About Aunt Hilda's threat to expose her secret if she ever told anyone who'd raped her sister.

  "You've done well for yourself, Grace. I looked you up… the youngest female to work as a barrister for the DPP. Impressive."

  She shrugged. "It seems kind of surreal sitting here talking about it. It's like a different life."

  "Are you missing it?"

  She turned her head and looked at him. His blue eyes were compelling, magnetic. Her heart pounded. Not when I'm with you… She gave him a small smile. "It's been good to have a break."

  "How much longer have you got?" His soothing voice gently probed.

  "As long as I want." She could hardly lift her voice above a whisper as her heart hammered in her ears. If only he'd kiss her. She longed to be wrapped in his arms.

  "Well, let's make it count." He put his arm around her shoulder and drew her close, kissing the top of her head. "I think I'm falling for you, Grace O'Connor."

  Ryan's words sent waves of joy through Grace's body—she thought she might burst. In his arms, she felt safe, secure and loved, wrapped in an invisible warmth. Tilting her face, her heart lurched as she gazed into his eyes. "And I think I'm falling for you, Ryan MacGregor." His face was so close, his breath warm.

  He lifted his hand and traced her hairline slowly with the tip of his finger. "You're very beautiful, Grace."

  She raised her brows playfully. "You're not bad yourself."

  "I shouldn't do this, but I really want to kiss you."

  Her heart beat wildly. "You have my permission."

  His kiss was slow and tender, and she never wanted it to end. When he lifted his mouth, her lips were still warm and hungering for more, but somehow she knew she'd have to wait. This wasn't going to be the quick fling she'd hankered after, instead, it was going to be a relationship that grew slowly, with purpose and control. How would she cope?

  "We'd best get back." Ryan stood and held his hand out to her. Drawing her up, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as he whispered into her hair. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you, Grace."

  Her heart steadied as a warm glow of content flowed through her. Somehow, this felt right.

  Soon after, as the sun slipped behind Ben Nevis, Grace and Ryan returned to the cottage. Stepping inside, Grace's hand shook a little as she walked down the hall towards the back of the house where the children's happy chatter came from. Two momentous events to tell Lizzy about, and for some reason, Grace felt a little nervous. Ryan's hand on the small of her back as he walked beside her helped steady her nerves, but she couldn't help but wonder what Lizzy would think about her and Ryan. Yes, Lizzy had been encouraging it, but now it had actually happened?

  Lizzy glanced up as Grace entered, her eyes popping as her gaze shifted to Ryan and then back to Grace. She left her grocery bags on the table and stepped forward, taking Grace's hand. "Grace?"

  Grace's eyes misted over and a lump appeared in her throat as she gave Lizzy an enthusiastic nod. "I gave my heart to Jesus, Lizzy."

  Lizzy's eyes widened further and her whole face lit up. "Really? That's wonderful news, Grace." Lizzy threw her arms around Grace and hugged her, jumping up and down on the spot like an excited schoolgirl.

  Grace laughed.

  Lizzy finally stopped jumping, but left her hand on Grace's arm. "We'll have to tell Daniel… he'll be so excited." She glanced at the clock. "He should be home any time now."

  "I thought I might go to his class tonight."

  "Great idea, Grace. Now, let me get you both a cup of tea…" Her gaze travelled to Ryan again, her eyebrows arching.

  Crossing his arms, Ryan leaned against the door-frame. "Guess you're wondering how I came to be with Grace?"

  Lizzy nodded. "Yes."

  Grace's hands twisted nervously in front of her, but Ryan flashed her a grin that dismissed any concern she might have held.

  "I came across her while we were both out walking."

  "Yes… and is there more you want to tell me?" Lizzy's eyes held an amused glint.

  "Maybe…" He reached his arm out to Grace, and slipping it around her shoulders, drew her to his side. "We might just be an item." His face split into a broad grin.

  Squealing, Lizzy jumped up and down again on the spot. "No! That is the second best news of the day!" She threw her arms around them. "That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you both."

  "Mum, what's so exciting?" Dillon raced in from the play room and looked up at her and then at Grace and then at Ryan.

  Grace laughed at the innocence in his eyes and leaned closer to Ryan, cocooning herself against his strong body.

  Ryan chuckled. "Auntie Grace and I have become good friends, Dillon my mate."

  As Ryan pulled her closer, Grace had never felt so contented and loved.

  Lizzy made tea, and soon after, Daniel walked in. Lizzy told him about Grace coming to the Lord, and like her, he was overjoyed. "This is amazing. Two sisters, both coming to the Lord. How special is that?" As he hugged her, Grace felt his body tremble. Tears rolled down his cheeks, but his eyes were filled with joy. "Can I pray for you, Grace?"

  Grace smiled as she let out a small laugh. "If you want to."

  He smiled. "I'd love to." Leaving his hand on her shoulder, he bowed his head. "Lord God, we rejoice that both Grace and Brianna have given their hearts to You. Thank You that they know Your love in a real way, and that you've cleansed them and given them hope for a bright future with You as Lord and King. Be with Grace in the days ahead as she learns more about You, and as she grows closer to You. Guide her as to what You would want her to do with her life. Thank You so much, Lord, I'm just so excited and grateful that both Grace and Brianna have come to know You. You are indeed a mighty God. In Jesus' precious name, Amen."

  Grace wiped the tears off her face and then gave Danny a hug. "Thanks, big brother."

  "My pleasure, Grace." He smiled at her. "You know who we need to call?"

  Grace angled her head. "No… who?"

  Danny chuckled. "Caleb. He's been praying for you for so long."

  Grace smiled. She could just imagine the look of shock on Caleb's face when he heard.

  "I've already told him about Brianna. He won't believe you've finally given in, Grace." Danny chuckled again.

  "No, he probably won't."

  Danny draped his arm across her shoulder. "Come, let's call him now."

  "Okay…" She cast a backward glance at Ryan as Danny led her out to the back room where the phone was and chuckled. Wait until Caleb hears I'm seeing someone…

  As expected, Caleb was just as over-joyed as Danny. "That's great news, Grace. Welcome to the family. I can't wait to tell Caitlin."

  "Thanks Caleb. Thanks for praying for us both for all those years."

  "It was nothing, Grace. We knew it would happen one day. This is really special." The sincerity in Caleb's voice warmed her heart and made her miss him. "So when do you think you'll be coming home? I thought you were coming back for the appeal?"

  Grace's grip on the receiver tightened. She'd been dreading that question… what could she say? "I… I changed my mind, Caleb. I'm not sure what I'm doing right now, but I'll let you know, okay?"

  "Okay… but you might need to call Niall. He's been coming around to visit a lot. He's like a lost kid without you here, Grace."

  Grace's heart fell. She lowered her voice. "I've told him countless times it's over between us, Caleb." For some reason she couldn't bring herself to tell Caleb about Ryan. Not that she was embarrassed, but all of a sudden she felt coy.

  "Well, he doesn't think it is. He's determined to get you back."

  She let out a heavy sigh. "I'l
l call him again."

  "Good… you do that."

  "I will." How could she tell Niall she'd taken up with someone else? It'd break his heart.

  "Thanks for calling, Grace, it's been great talking to you, and I'm so glad about your news."

  "You're welcome, Caleb. Give my love to Caitlin and the girls."

  "Will do."

  Grace hung up the receiver and slumped against the wall.

  Looking at her with drawn brows, Danny placed his hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong, Grace?"

  She let out another heavy sigh and rolled her eyes. "Men problems."

  Danny laughed. "What do you mean? I didn't know you had anyone in your life."

  Danny's laugh cheered her and she let out another small chuckle as she glanced at Ryan in the other room. "There's two, actually. One's right here in your kitchen, and the other's back home." She spoke quietly so Ryan couldn't hear—she'd tell him about Niall later.

  Danny's eyes widened. "You mean…? You … you and Ryan?"

  A coy grin grew on her face as she nodded slowly.

  "When did that happen?"

  "This afternoon. It was Ryan who led me to the Lord."

  Danny ran his hand through his hair. "Wow. I had no idea. And who's the other?"

  "Niall. You don't know him, but I've known him since university days. He's a barrister, and he asked me to marry him years ago. We met up again recently."

  "Why didn't you accept him?"

  She shrugged. "It just wasn't right. I didn't want to get married." She couldn't tell him the truth.

  "But he's not taking no for an answer?"

  She shrugged. "Seems like it."

  "Well, you'll just have to tell him about Ryan."

  "Guess I will."

  Lizzy came out and slipped her arm around Danny's waist. "What's going on out here? Can I join?"

  Danny kissed the top of her hair. "Course you can. Grace is just telling me about her men problems."

  Grace glared at him before glancing towards the kitchen. She breathed a sigh of relief... Ryan was engrossed with Clare and James, colouring at the kitchen table.

  Danny lifted his hand to his mouth. "Sorry."

  "What's this about men problems, Grace," Lizzy whispered, her brows drawn. "I didn't know there was someone else."

  Grace let out a breath. "I was just telling Danny about this barrister friend of mine—he asked me to marry him recently, and I turned him down, for the second time…. seems he's not taking no for an answer."

  "Oh dear… what are you going to do?" Lizzy's eyes softened.

  "I'll have to call him. And I'll also have to tell Ryan about Niall."

  "Good idea."

  "But not now—I'll call later. I couldn't handle it right now."

  "Let's get some dinner, and then it'll be time for Danny's class… if you're still going?" Lizzy raised her brow.

  "Are you coming to my class, Grace?" Danny's face lit up.

  "Thought I might." A playful grin grew on her face.

  "Sweet."

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  That evening, Ryan stayed for dinner, and then held Grace's hand as they strolled to the main building for Danny's class. Being late summer, it was still light, even though it was almost half past seven. Grace shivered as a cool breeze came off the loch, and Ryan put his arm around her.

  "This still feels really strange, Ryan, but I like it." She snuggled closer to him.

  He chuckled. "I know what you mean… I do, too." Turning his head, the beginning of a smile tipped the corners of his mouth.

  Brianna's eyes popped when Grace followed Ryan into the classroom a few minutes later. She was sitting between Brayden and one of the girls. Jumping up, Brianna hurried towards Grace, holding her arms out. "Good to see you, Grace! What made you come?"

  Steering Brianna to the back of the classroom, Grace told her quietly about giving her heart to the Lord that afternoon.

  Brianna's eyes glistened as she threw her arms around Grace. "We can both leave the past behind us now and start afresh. I'm so excited about it all." Stepping back, she grabbed Grace's hands and met her gaze with eyes full of excitement. "I had prayer and counselling last night, and you know what?"

  "No. What?" Grace angled her head.

  Brianna's voice lowered to a whisper. "I think I can almost forgive those boys for what they did to me."

  "Oh Bibi…" Tears sprung to Grace's eyes. "I'm not sure I can do that yet, but that's good for you. Do you feel better?"

  She nodded. "I don't know why we didn't listen to Caleb years ago."

  Grace lifted her hand to Brianna's face and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "We both coped in our own ways, Bibi."

  "I guess so." She glanced down quickly before lifting her eyes again. "And you know what?"

  Grace shook her head. She hoped Brianna wasn't going to say that something was going on between her and Brayden. He still seemed like such a lost soul, even though he'd walked forward at church the other day.

  "I don't even want drugs anymore."

  Relief flowed through Grace's body as she smiled at Brianna. "That's great, Bibi."

  "I know I've still got a long road ahead, but so far, so good."

  Danny cleared his throat. "Would you two at the back like to take your seats?"

  Spinning around, Grace caught his amused gaze and grinned. It was such a strange situation—to be in a classroom with her brother as her teacher and her sister as a fellow student, but it felt good. And what was even better? Ryan would be waiting for her outside.

  Grace took her seat behind Brianna and her friends, and was surprised when Ryan joined her. Angling her head and arching her eyebrows, she leaned close to him. "What are you doing here?" She kept her voice low.

  His eyes sparkled, radiating a vitality that drew her to him like a magnet. "Thought I might learn something from your brother."

  Already her feelings for him were intensifying, and she couldn't stop the warmth spreading through her body when he winked at her.

  She tore her gaze from his and forced herself to focus on Danny. That's what she was here for, after all.

  "Welcome, everyone, and a special welcome to our newest student, my sister, Grace." As Danny held his arm out in Grace's direction, a grin stretching from ear to ear grew on his face.

  Grace forced herself to smile when everyone turned and looked at her, but she wished he hadn't done that. Brothers.

  "Okay, let's open in prayer, and then we'll begin."

  Everyone returned their attention to the front and bowed their heads. Danny prayed a short prayer, asking God to open their hearts and minds to His Word and to the truths it held.

  Grace shifted in her seat. Ryan's presence beside her was unnerving. How could she focus on God's Word with him so close? She felt like a school-girl with her first crush. Take some breaths, Grace… focus…

  Danny cleared his voice. "Tonight we're looking at the two commandments that Jesus said were the most important, and how they apply to our lives here and now. Let's open our Bibles to Matthew chapter 22, verses 36 to 40."

  Grace panicked. She had no idea where the book of Matthew was—she'd been reading John. She began flicking through the pages when a hand touched hers. She looked up and met Ryan's gaze. He didn't have to say anything… he took the Bible and opened it for her and smiled.

  "Okay, Matthew 22, verses 36 to 40: "“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”"

  Danny leaned forward in his chair. "For many of you, love is a foreign concept. I get that. You might have felt unloved by your parents, or maybe you were moved around between foster parents, and there was never anyone you could really call a parent. You might have been abused, or you might have been told you'd neve
r amount to anything. Your concept of love has been tainted by this world and the experiences you've had."

  Grace couldn't meet Danny's gaze… he was too close to the truth.

  "Jesus came to show what true love really is. In I John chapter 4, verses 7 and 8, we read: "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." To understand true love, we have to know God.

  "There's no better way to get to know God than by studying Jesus's life here on earth. Jesus showed love and compassion to all people—not just those who were nice. He loved the unlovely; He loved the weak; He loved the sick; He loved the hurting; He loved those who'd been shunned because of their backgrounds or lifestyles; He loved sinners. He didn't judge them; He didn't tell them to clean themselves up before He would love them—He loved them as they were, and that's what He asks us to do—to love not only our friends and those people who are easy to love, but also to love our enemies, for want of a better word."

  Looking up, Grace raised her brow. I hope he doesn't mean I have to love Aunt Hilda…

  "In Matthew Chapter 5, verses 43 to 48, Jesus says: "You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.""

  Grace's shoulders slumped. That's exactly what he means… I can't do that…

  Danny shifted in his chair and began gesticulating with his hands. "We can't do this in our own strength—it doesn't come naturally. We must call on the power of the Holy Spirit living in us to grow the fruit of the spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, inside us, so that we can love like Jesus."