Chasing Dreams

by Susan Lewis

Ellen smiled as he descended the steps into the sitting room and paused to get a look at himself in the mirrored wall at the far end of the room. Directly in front of the mirror was an eight-seater dining-table with eight pale oak dining-chairs and a beautifully hand-painted silk screen partially obscuring the mirror.

  ‘Gene! Come take a look at this pool,’ Matty called from the veranda.

  As Gene padded off across the carpet Ellen pressed a speed dial on her cellphone, planted it between her ear and shoulder and rummaged in the grocery bags for the chilled champagne they’d picked up at the market.

  She was still talking to Rosa, another agent at ATI, when she carried the champagne out to the veranda and set it down on a glass-topped table. The agency was currently suing a Canadian production company for three clients’ fees which amounted to over five million dollars, so there was no such thing as a weekend for the two agents concerned. Ellen was going over to the office in a couple of hours and would probably be there for most of the following day until Clay got back in the evening.

  ‘Boy, it’s hot,’ she said, finally clicking off the phone and handing a glass each to Matty and Gene who were reluctantly tearing themselves from an embrace now she had joined them.

  ‘Did you buy or are you renting?’ Gene asked, taking the champagne.

  ‘Just renting,’ Ellen answered. Then, raising her glass, ‘Shall we drink a toast? To my new home?’

  Matty’s eyebrows arched as their glasses touched. If Ellen had taken this apartment for the reasons Matty thought she had then there wasn’t much chance of this being home for long, as Clay was almost bound to feel threatened by her independence and come up with the commitment Ellen was aiming for.

  They chatted idly for a while, catching up on the industry gossip and hazarding guesses on who was most likely to take over at Universal now Charlie Roscoe had been fired. Though Ellen was as keen to know as anyone else and as willing to speculate, in truth she was finding it hard to get her mind off Clay. He had called her early that morning, sounding really fed up and angry because his wife was insisting that he stay at her mother’s house with her and the kids while he was in San Diego, instead of a hotel. Considering how acrimonious things had been between them, this was a real one eighty for Nola, as she’d sworn publicly and viciously several times that she’d rather burn the house down than let him over her threshold again. Ellen wasn’t sure what to make of this new turn of events, except every time she thought of it her heart contracted and her insides churned in a way that almost made her feel sick.

  ‘You know, I’m so proud of you,’ Matty said, leaning on the counter as she came back from seeing Gene to the door.

  Ellen smiled and shook some pretzels into a dish for them to snack on.

  ‘No, I mean it,’ Matty said seriously. ‘You’re doing so well. It’s like you were born to this life. You handle the stars like they were your best friends, the studio heads like they were your favourite uncles, assholes like they mattered, competition like it didn’t exist, pressure like it’s something to be enjoyed, egos like they were crown jewels, and everyone responds. You’re a miracle, Ellen, I swear it. Nothing ever seems to faze you, not even all the paranoia that’s going on out there. You just get on with it like it’s some kind of game. You pull the rug right out from under some guy’s feet and end up making him feel good about it. Getting rolled over by you is starting to acquire some kind of kudos, did you know that? You’re no one ‘til you been licked by Ellen Shelby.’

  Ellen was shaking her head and laughing. ‘Tell that to the guys who’ve been there,’ she said. ‘Grudge doesn’t even come close to how some of them feel. And I’ve taken my share of being licked,’ she added, ‘make no mistake on that. Only last week one of the agents at CAA walked right over a deal I had going with Touchstone and I never knew a thing about it until the contract didn’t show up on my desk next day.’

  Matty was looking at her hard. ‘A minor set-back,’ she said. ‘You’re headed right up there with all the major players, I can see it now. I just hope it doesn’t change you, that’s all.’

  Ellen’s eyes widened in surprise. ‘Why, are you seeing signs of it?’ she said.

  Matty shrugged. ‘I don’t know,’ she answered.

  Ellen was really taken aback by that. ‘Yes you do,’ she said. ‘So say it, Matty. Whatever you’re thinking, say it.’

  ‘OK. I guess what I’m saying is here you are, with this fantastic apartment, a real high-powered job, a rock-star boyfriend who just happens to be a movie star too, more money than should be legal for one person and …’

  ‘And?’ Ellen prompted.

  Matty’s tone was defensive. ‘And nothing,’ she stated.

  Ellen’s lovely eyes were dark with confusion. ‘You’re not making a lot of sense, Matty,’ she told her.

  Matty threw out her hands. ‘OK,’ she cried. ‘You’ve got so much going on in your life that you seem to have forgotten about those of us who care for you. You know, like your family! Like me. You got all this together without so much as talking about it to me. You find the apartment, you say, hey Matty, come see the apartment I just rented. You’d been seeing Clay for over two months before you said anything to me. You’re uptight about a meeting you’re going to have with Ted Forgon, and I don’t even know the guy is out of the hospital until some jerk calls up on the carphone and makes a joke about it. Do you hear what I’m saying? We’ve stopped communicating and it’s scaring me. I hardly see you any more. It’s like we’re no longer a part of each other’s lives and now you’ve moved out I’m wondering if I’m ever going to see you at all.’

  ‘Matty, you’ve been working in the club every night and running a coffee shop during the day,’ Ellen reminded her. ‘It’s you that’s never at home. So why don’t you tell me what this is really about?’

  Matty’s charcoal eyes flashed, then, inhaling deeply she leaned back against the wall and gazed sightlessly out of the window. ‘OK,’ she said in the end, ‘if I tell you, do you promise not to get mad?’

  ‘No promises,’ Ellen responded. ‘Just tell me.’

  ‘Well,’ Matty began, obviously finding it hard to force the words out, ‘I want you to tell me … I mean, you can be honest. You don’t have to think that just because you’re my cousin …’

  ‘Matty!’ Ellen cried.

  ‘Give me a break, will you? This isn’t easy,’ Matty shouted back. ‘What I’m asking is, do you think I’ve got talent, or do you think I should give it up and find myself another career? I mean, is that why you’re avoiding me, why you moved out of the apartment, because you want to distance yourself from a talentless hanger-on you’re stuck with because she’s family? Now, don’t give me any bullshit. I can handle it. It’ll hurt, but …’ Her eyes fell to the floor. ‘It’ll hurt,’ she said simply.

  Ellen was walking round the counter to join her, barely able to suppress her laughter. ‘OK, talentless hanger-on,’ she said, circling an arm around Matty’s shoulder, ‘let me put it this way. They’ve just written a new love interest for one of the leads in ER and do you want to know who’s going to be playing her? Matty Shelby, that’s who. The great Matty Shelby is going to make a major guest appearance in ER. And shall I tell you how come I know that? Because the contract is sitting on my desk right now, for my extremely talented client and crazy, insecure cousin, to sign.’

  Matty’s eyes were wide with disbelief. ‘I don’t get it,’ she said. ‘I didn’t even do an audition, so how can I have the part?’

  ‘Because,’ Ellen responsed, ‘I know one of the producers and he owes me a favour. It’s just two episodes to begin, but if the character works there could be more. And before you say it, the producer knows I wouldn’t hand him a lemon, it’s more than my reputation’s worth.’

  Matty was speechless.

  Ellen watched her and felt such pleasure surging inside her as Matty’s euphoria started to break.

  ‘Tell me I’m not dreaming this,’ Matty groaned, ‘please tell me this
is for real.’

  ‘It’s for real.’ Ellen laughed. ‘The scripts are already on their way to you. Someone’ll be in touch in the next couple of weeks to talk about costume, dates, call times and all the other stuff you need to know.’

  ‘I think I’m going to cry,’ Matty said shakily. ‘I can’t believe it. ER! I mean anything would have been good, but ER!’

  ‘That’s why you have an agent,’ Ellen reminded her, ‘to make sure you don’t end up doing “anything”. ER is right for you and you’re right for it, for now. It can only raise your profile and if the show should start to fade while you’re still in it we’ll get you out quicker than they can switch to a commericial break.’

  ‘You’re unbelievable, do you know that?’ Matty laughed, hugging her. ‘I just hope and pray that you make it to that producer’s chair you’ve got your eye on, because you sure as hell deserve it. Hey! What am I saying here? If you become a producer I’m going to lose the best agent a girl ever had.’

  ‘By then, you’ll be so big you won’t even notice,’ Ellen assured her, leading her back out to the veranda. There was no point telling her now that both their careers were resting in the hands of a man neither of them had ever met, because the chances of Michael McCann actually even caring about that were probably only marginally higher than Ellen’s chances of pulling off what three other agents, at the cost of their careers, had already failed to do. And when she added to that this latest twist in events between Clay and Nola she was seriously afraid that her age of Aquarius was right on the verge of yielding to another era.

  ‘Are you crazy?’ Clay laughed the following evening when he called to let Ellen know he was on his way. ‘Nola and I getting together again? It’s never going to happen. Just no way.’

  ‘So what was staying at her mother’s house all about?’ Ellen asked, hating herself for showing how unnerved she had been by it.

  ‘Would you believe, the woman’s developed a conscience about the kids at last?’ he answered, turning down the music at his end so he could hear better. ‘She thinks it’s time we made friends and at least pretended to like each other, before we do some serious damage in areas we’re both going to end up regretting.’ He chuckled softly. ‘If you ask me, what this is really about is she’s found herself a new boyfriend.’

  Ellen’s heart gave a skip of hope. ‘Do you think so?’ she said, starting to run herself a bath.

  ‘It looks pretty much that way. But enough about her, how’s your weekend been?’

  ‘Hectic, but I’m all moved in and the legal stuff at the office is more or less sorted. What time do you expect to get here?’

  ‘Let me see,’ he responded, ‘I’m in Brentwood now, so I guess I …’

  ‘Brentwood!’ she cried. ‘I thought you were just leaving San Diego.’

  ‘I should be there in about ten minutes,’ he laughed, ‘and if you’ve got any clothes on now make sure they’re gone by the time I walk in the door.’

  Not even waiting to say goodbye, Ellen clicked off the phone, dashed into the bedroom, tearing the slides from her hair as she went, then pausing only to take a new silk mini-slip from a box on the bed, she sped back to the dressing-room and grabbed a hairbrush. Seconds later she was in the bathroom again, cleaning her teeth and turning the water to run faster.

  ‘Candles,’ she muttered. ‘Where the hell did I put the candles?’

  She found them in a kitchen drawer, carried them back to the bathroom, lit them and placed them around the tub. Then, turning down the lights she surveyed the scene, tidied up a couple of towels, sprinkled more scented oil in the steaming water and went to straighten up the living-room.

  Ten minutes later the telephone rang.

  ‘Hi, it’s me,’ he said when she answered.

  Her heart sank with disappointment and frustration. ‘Where are you?’ she demanded, failing to keep the gripe from her voice.

  ‘There’s no way I can come visit you,’ he told her, ‘not with those security guys on the gate. They’re sure to recognize me and the next thing you know we’re going to be all over the press.’

  Furious with herself that she hadn’t thought of that, it was all she could do to stop herself screaming and ranting and telling him how much she hated this secrecy, that she couldn’t go on like it and that it had to change or she was getting out. But fear that he would let her go stopped her. Besides, he’d probably had a tough enough weekend already without her adding to it. So, in a voice that was hopefully more conciliatory than pleading, she said, ‘Is it so bad to have your name linked with mine? Or are you going to keep me hidden away like this for ever?’

  ‘I told you, Ellen,’ he said, ‘we’ve got to play it cool. I don’t want any last-minute fuck-ups with Nola and we’re close now to ending it, real close.’

  ‘So what do you want me to do? Come over to your place?’

  ‘How soon can you get there?’ he asked, his voice taking on an intimate lilt.

  ‘Give me an hour,’ she replied and before he could say any more she slammed down the phone, seething with fury at herself for being so weak and at him for being so damned famous that they were forced to live like this. She picked up a magazine, hurled it across the room and storming into the bathroom, was about to sweep the candles into the tub when a knock on the door stopped her.

  All she was wearing was the semi-transparent slip, so quickly grabbing a robe from the back of the door she went into the hall to ask who it was.

  ‘Just the guy who’s so crazy about you he doesn’t care if some security guard calls the papers,’ he answered.

  Ellen blinked in surprise and starting to smile, she dropped the robe and pulled open the door.

  ‘Hey,’ he laughed, catching her as she threw herself into his arms.

  ‘You were already here,’ she accused. ‘When you called just now, you must have been right outside to have got here so fast.’

  ‘I was coming up the steps,’ he confirmed. ‘I just wanted to let you know what I was prepared to do for you. I slipped the guy a couple of big ones. I doubt it’ll work, but who the hell cares? I don’t want you thinking I’m not proud of you, ’cos that sure as hell isn’t the case. God, you’re beautiful,’ he murmured.

  Ellen was smiling up into his craggily handsome face, her heart pounding with joy at what he’d just said. His sleepy dark eyes were gazing into hers, the deeply ingrained laugh lines and jagged birthmark somehow making them all the more seductive. His smile, the smile that still set millions of hearts racing, widened as she pushed her fingers into his thick, silvery hair and ran her thumbs along his clean-shaven jaw to the tiny stud earrings in each of his ears. He was so tall and powerfully built that she felt deliciously swamped by his masculinity when he held her, especially when he was wearing his denims and she was either naked or near it.

  Though her mouth was tilted towards his he didn’t kiss her right away, but stood holding her and watching her eyes. ‘You wearing anything under this?’ he asked, splaying his fingers across her hips.

  Ellen felt a piercing lust bite into her. ‘I could if you wanted me to,’ she said huskily.

  He shook his head. ‘Uh-uh, nothing is fine by me,’ he said, slipping his hands under the hem and lifting it to her waist.

  Ellen’s knees almost buckled as holding her eyes with his, he slipped his fingers between her legs. Though they were still outside in the hall and a neighbour might come by at any moment, she did nothing to stop him as she knew how much it turned him on to dare her like this. So often he had made her stand naked in front of the windows of his mansion, displaying herself as though all the world could see, even though they both knew that the house wasn’t visible from the street. He even got her to walk nude through the gardens, teasing her that the Mexican gardeners were watching, though she knew she was never allowed to come when any of the staff were around.

  ‘Did you miss me?’ he whispered.

  ‘When I wasn’t entertaining my other lovers,’ she whispered back.
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  He smiled, then finally touched his mouth to hers and probed very gently with his tongue. Ellen’s eyes fluttered closed as the sensuousness of his mouth swept through her like a flame. Her arms were circled around his neck, but she kept herself slightly apart so that his hands could roam freely over her body. Her breasts were aching for his touch, but when finally he found them it was merely to brush the backs of his fingers over the protruding hardness of her nipples.

  ‘You feel good,’ he murmured.

  She opened her eyes. ‘Can I fix you a drink?’ she offered.

  He gazed at her from under lowered lids, then nodded.

  Turning back into the apartment, she walked over to the ornate Japanese cabinet she had turned into a bar and took out a bottle of Scotch. Her legs were slightly shaky, her senses still raw from his touch. She put a tumbler on the counter but stopped as she felt him come up behind her. Her eyes closed and her pulses started to race, as taking her slip he pulled it up over her head and tossed it aside. The sensation of her own nudity burned through her as his fingers moved like feathers over her skin. Then she heard his zipper go down and felt a stinging desire as he turned her to face him.

  ‘Don’t ever think I’m ashamed of you,’ he told her huskily, ‘because this, you, mean more to me than anything.’

  She looked up into his eyes and felt her emotions whirling as his hands moved to her shoulders and began to push gently down. Obediently she dropped to her knees and circling the base of his penis with her fingers she guided it to her lips. He rested his hands high on the wall behind her and looked down at what she was doing, breathing hard as she licked him, moistening him all over before drawing him into her mouth. From the corner of her eye she saw him turn to look at their reflection in the mirror, watching her mouth slide up and down his erection.

  The tension in his body started to increase as she took him closer and closer to orgasm, until finally, with a strangled gasp, he buried his fingers in her hair and pulled her head tightly against him. He held her there, waiting for the brinking need for release to subside, then letting her go he withdrew from her mouth, still hard and ready now to move on.