Blood and wings

by J Wells

  I meet with her blushes and realise her nightgown is hanging from the rail by a thread, where it swings from a loose piece of timber. I pick her up and take her within the comfort of my arms, holding her near-naked form as I walk away from the bridge.

  I seat her on my lap amongst the forest leaves. Her breasts are warm as they press themselves against my chest. Her skin is like silk as it glides against my own. Strange as it seems, my usual cold exterior has gained warmth. Once again, I can feel the beating of my heart. How can that be, for my heart is no longer in existence? What is this beautiful creature doing to me? How can I feel so alive, when I am not? How can I feel a heart beating beneath my chest that stopped over two hundred years ago? My fingers wander along the contours of her slender frame and caress the small arch of her back just above her buttocks. I pull her closer and feel her pull away, so my hand retreats before gently making its way up towards her face. My fingers hover a while above her cheek. Unconsciously I trace her perfection and the prominence of her ruby-red lips.

  We pass a breathy exchange of words.

  “You are my fallen rose,” I whisper.

  Her eyes soften, but their colour appears more vibrant. Instinctively I run my fingers through her dark fragrant tresses, pushing their length from her temples and leaving the moon to play down on the open beauty of her face.

  We sit on the forest floor wrapped up like parcels in one another’s arms. All her pain and tenseness seems to seep away into the undergrowth. Her fingers now caress my cheek in the same way that mine do hers. I can sense the sensuality of her lips as she moves closer, and not wanting to disappoint, I move forwards to accommodate her desire. The sensation I feel is not just one that has awoken my heart but also my manhood and desire. My ability to love, to feel has returned.

  “Jai…” is her reply.

  Taking her hand in mine I am struck by the cold band of gold she wears around her finger. Struck by a pang of jealousy, my beating heart now aches.

  Gripping her shoulders, I hold her just far enough away to allow me to take in this beautiful vision. Ebonised locks play against the bronze tone of her skin. The seductive pout of her crimson lips makes me want to kiss them as they appear to sit in wait. How I want this woman. Not the way a vampire wants its prey, but the way a man wants to make love to a woman.

  Sometimes my senses do me no favours; I see how she lusts for another, for it is him she sees before her. I cannot help but smile, for if I so wanted I could take her here on the forest floor, ravage her body and make love to her throughout the darkness. I would close my ears as she called out his name, for it is Lucian I shall hear. I chastise myself as these evil thoughts play in my head; after all, I am a vampire, not a monster. It is my name she would have to call out, and my face I would want her to see.

  I would love to introduce myself, but fear it is not the right time to interrupt her dreams. Instead I pull myself free, removing my thick coat, which I drape across her shoulders before wrapping her up in its warmth. I place a solitary kiss above her brow and rise to my feet, leaving her hand to fall against her side, and once again my heart stops.

  “Until we meet again…” As the last syllable leaves my lips, it is as if the breeze releases the breath it held and whisks up stray leaves.

  I watch Rose’s beautiful dark mane as it blows free. I cannot leave her without one final glance, so I turn, allowing her an unseen smile, and then quickly and silently I head back in the direction of my family before they have chance to pick up her scent. My only remaining thoughts of her as I walk away and she melts into the shadows is that Jai was a lucky man.

  I trudge deeper into the forest. As I walk, I shake my head. Who am I kidding? I feel that every sense I own is on the verge of explosion. My returning heartbeat was surreal; the lust that grabbed at the man I once knew was insatiable. I can’t leave Rose there for my family to find. If she is able to make me have such feelings again, so strong, then I must return and find out more. Our separation is to be brief as I turn and hurry back.

  I catch sight of her through a shower of amber leaves. She lies in a pose as if awaiting the sweep of an artist’s brush. With autumn behind her, she decorates a perfect canvas in my mind.

  I step towards her with stealth; she looks almost too serene to disturb. Without uttering a word, I hold my breath and crouch down behind her, and rolling her body into my chest I swoop her up into my arms.

  “There is something I must show you,” I whisper as her eyelashes flicker.

  Her feather-like frame lies perfectly still, her fiery demeanour gone. I prompt her for an answer, but she lies in a daze. My assumption is that she is overcome by her suicide attempt. Life is not an easy thing to walk away from, something I know first-hand.

  With my head held high, I had almost forgotten I was carrying her. Walking towards my home it is only the wriggle of her arms that prompts me to look down.

  “Where you taking me?” she whispers.

  I hear a spark of interest, and feel her return of spirit as she throws up her arms and kicks out. I can’t let her leave me, not yet.

  “Let me go!” she demands.

  Her strength has returned, and I feel her wriggle further.

  “Be still, for no mortal has ever seen what I am about to show you.” I drop my tone, which is now low and sultry.

  With my powers of persuasion, I enter her subconscious, where I can plant both my wishes and desires. Immediately I feel her body relax. My wish is for her to stay with me for a while longer, and my desire is that as I make love to her I lose my vampire’s dark curse and return to being the man I once was.

  Walking on, I can’t help but wonder, after two hundred years as a vampire, if she could possibly be a glitch to the rules, my elixir to life.

  The trees open out slightly, jolting me from my thoughts. I am home.

  “We are here,” I announce.

  Tilting her in my arms, I place her back on her feet. She stands before me and I can see her fiery personality has been dampened by my wishes. I look into her eyes; her glazed expression holds a vacancy and she is without fight, which is how I need her to be. The castle is vampire territory, uncharted by humans.

  The rules we live by are written in gold by God and his angels and state we are not to kill humans. Reading further into the small print, a suicide falls under far different rules. If my family were to return home hungry, Rose’s mortality would not protect her from their bites, and nor could I. Is this a risk I’m really prepared to take? I smile to myself, because I can’t remember my family’s return to the castle any night before sun-up.

  I locate a slight dip in the earth, which is the entrance to our home. Entombed like a coffin, my castle is buried beneath me. Its whereabouts are hidden well by a covering of leaves, which I clear away with the soles of my shoes. Lifting the hatch of our makeshift door and taking Rose by the hand, I guide her down a narrow passage to a flight of stairs that leads many feet below ground.

  “My castle wasn’t always below ground,” I tell her, though under my spell she shows little interest.

  I take her hand and we make our way between unseen turrets and enter the castle through an open window, which leads into the master bedchamber. The oaken room is where as a mortal I slept for twenty-five years. Every room is a shadow of its former self, the walls cracked and damp. I pull Rose close to my side as we tiptoe through the candlelight and out onto the landing.

  A metal key hangs from the wall; I unhook it and turn to face her.

  “This door hasn’t been opened for over two hundred years.”

  Her face remains expressionless. I lift a couple of lighted candles from their holders, keep one for myself and pass the other to Rose. With a quick turn of the key, we enter. I let go of her hand briefly and wipe away thick cobwebs from the candle holders, and then light the nearest candles on the wall.

  “This room was made in readiness for my children to play in.”

  The room is immense, the vast space a maze of gilt-
edged mirrors that stand proud. What use is a mirror to a vampire who has no reflection? I watch Rose as she walks from one of her reflections to another, and standing back I notice her swaying. Her wide eyes seem to glisten as she catches sight of herself whichever way she turns. She lifts herself up on to the tips of her toes, and with her arms held out like a dancing ballerina she spins around. My coat that she wears opens out like a beautiful parasol, and my eyes are transfixed. Candlelight flickers intricate patterns upon her face. My eyes drop to her midriff, the curve of her waist, and lower to her black-laced panties. So flimsy, yet they cover what I desire most. I can’t just stand here and watch. I will turn her tonight; she will become a vampire. But first, I will release her from this hypnotic state and if, when her senses return, she feels the same as I do, we will make love until night turns to morning. Then, like me, she will live forever, my soul mate for all of time.

  Charging forwards, like a bird of prey I grab for her hands, lift her from the floor and throw her back against the mirrored glass.

  “Lucian!” she cries out.

  I fear her spirit is back with a vengeance. Like an unbroken horse, she kicks out at my thighs, her sharp nails piercing the skin on my hands.

  “Enough!” I demand.

  Her dark eyes lock onto mine. I hear her breaths quicken. I can only explain it as moment of madness, of passion, of lust; her parting lips entrap mine so sweetly. The feel of her kiss is all that I want. My heart does not beat, but pounds beneath my chest and every coldness I have ever known dissolves into a forgotten memory. I rip away the fastening of my coat that holds her within. My sensual kisses break away from her lips and are intense as they travel down her neck. My hand opens and grabs at her thigh; I lift her leg, wrapping it around my waist. My warm fingers paw at her buttocks. My nails lengthen, leaving slight indentations in her skin. My urge is to fuck her; no, to bite her. I know it’s not me that she longs for, but for the one who has already left her. I can’t make love to her knowing this. I will change her instead, and hope that in time love will come. My teeth are now razor-sharp fangs, and my mouth waters with hunger for blood.

  “Rose, tell me you want to be like me,” I utter, looking up.

  Gasping, I hold my hand up to my mouth. I release her slightly and my head shoots round, for in the mirror I see that a man stands behind me. Yet there is no one else in the room. Once again, I turn to face Rose and the mirror. What I see I can hardly believe. I rub my eyes with my knuckles and look again, but I am not mistaken. My stare lengthens; the person staring back at me is my own reflection. My eyes wander over my face; it is strange, and what I see I can hardly remember. I reach up to touch my cheek; it is surreal, but nice. In two centuries I have not aged and still look my twenty-five years. My oval-shaped face has slimmed, its olive complexion changed to chalky white; my eyes are sunken, having lost the emerald-green tinge I remember and like those of my family, they now have an amber glow. My dark hair is slicked back and like me lacks a lust for life, hanging limply around my face. What gift has Rose brought with her, I wonder, and what is she doing to me?

  Still staring at myself, my eyes leap to the left side of the mirror, and the reflection I see is the door ajar, then open wide. The dust-covered floor picks up the sound of heels and my head shoots round.

  “Lucian, you hypocrite.” Jazlynn’s hands move from her tiny waist to her hips.

  Her amber oriental-shaped eyes sit so prettily against her ivory complexion; she is so small she looks almost doll like.

  “You tell us not to get jobs, not to mix with humans, and I come back to this, to her.” It seems she almost spits poison as she points her finger at Rose. “I stuck up for you tonight, not because I agree with your ways and how you are, but because you’re you. Lucian, you need to know the rest of the family are not happy. They want jobs, they want out of here.” She pauses. “Reflection, Lucian, you’ve got a reflection,” she stammers. “What the hell is it? What have you brought home with you?”

  I can feel Rose’s discomfort as she squirms between my arms. Holding her still, I overhear the long breath in Jazlynn takes and see her head rise as her face breaks into a cat-like smirk.

  “Got you wrong, eh?” she said, biting her lip with the sharpening points of her teeth. “A suicide…”

  I blink, and Jazlynn is by my side. Abruptly I turn my back on Rose, pinning her against the mirrored glass, standing tall to protect her.

  “Pretty hair,” Jazlynn whispers, reaching past my shoulder towards Rose’s face.

  I grab her wrist.

  “That’s close enough.”

  “No, Lucian, let me touch her, let me see my reflection like you see yours. I won’t hurt her, I swear.” Her teeth retract.

  With her wrist still held in my hand, I place her palm against Rose’s and hold their hands together.

  “Jazlynn, what do you feel?”

  “Nothing,” she frowns. “Why do you ask?”

  “No reason,” I reply.

  If she doesn’t feel as I do, she doesn’t need to know. I don’t elaborate, keeping my heart beat a secret. Still holding their hands between mine, I move aside to allow Jazlynn her reflection, if indeed she has one. She lifts her free hand to her brow. I see her stroke her cheek and the expression that awakens in her eyes.

  “Do you think her face is as pretty as mine?” Jazlynn pulls her long black tresses from behind her head, allowing them to fall over her shoulder, spilling down around her waist. “Does her hair hold such beauty?” she questions.

  Looking up into my eyes I guess she awaits an answer, but what do I say? So the three of us stand and the room descends into an awkward silence.

  “Wait till the others see,” she says.

  I can hear her excitement, feel the shake of her body.

  “We can reopen the room; all we need is her.”

  There’s a tug on my shirt from behind.

  “Take me home,” Rose cries, reminding me she’s still here.

  “Jazlynn, she isn’t staying, I only brought her here to show her this room. I wasn’t expecting my reflection, and I wasn’t expecting you home.”

  “She’s a suicide, Lucian, she reeks of death. The moment our family returns they will pick up her scent, and then it is only a matter of time before they find and kill her. Her blood will drive them crazy.”

  I grab Jazlynn’s arm that hangs at her side.

  “I will tell them she was a lucky find, and that you and I feasted in their absence.”

  “Whatever,” she said.

  I feel the force with which she pulls away.

  “You can’t let her go, she’s human, she knows where we live. How many more of her kind will come after her? Just bite her, change her.”

  “Don’t you think I’ve thought of that?”

  “Just do it then.”

  “Jazlynn, you know it isn’t that simple, Rose doesn’t want to be changed.”

  “Let me kill her, it will be quick, it won’t hurt, I’m good with my hands. A snap of her neck and it’s over.”

  “No, leave her.” I push Jazlynn’s hand from Rose, and with it her reflection is gone. “I’m taking her back,” I tell her. “I will take her home, put her back in her bed, and when I leave and walk away I will erase her every memory. It will never have been; she will forget the castle, the way in, the mirrors she danced before, the girl with the waist-length black hair.” I pause, for it pains me to say it. “She will forget me, too.”

  “Wouldn’t it be quicker, less hassle, if we killed her?”

  “No, she’s done nothing wrong, why should she die? Having her here has made me think, and probably done you all a favour. Wait here, I won’t be long.”

  Taking Rose by the hand again I walk her past Jazlynn, who still looks into the empty glass, I can only guess in search of her lost reflection.

  “Oh, by the way,” I call back, “I’ve had time on my own and done some thinking. On my return I will summon the family, and who knows, tomorrow night us men cou
ld be out looking for jobs.”

  Leaving Jazlynn with that thought, I close the door.

  Two and a half years later.

  My head lowers as I gaze around the cemetery and its vast emptiness. It is as though people knew I was coming here today and purposely stayed away to allow me privacy to grieve.

  “Happy birthday,” I whisper into the breeze as the sharp knife I hold cuts into the thick stems of the white chrysanthemums.

  I lay them down gently in the exact place I watched his ashes being sprinkled. The place my husband, Jai, was laid to rest. I bow my head. It’s hard to believe that two years have been and gone, and I still can’t come to terms with him not being here. That cheeky grin he would pass me first thing in the morning when I opened my eyes and the last kiss he placed on my lips each night that made sleep come so easily. Maybe these are just a few of the little things I could in time get over, but one thing I can’t accept is that he’s never coming back to me … not ever. How can my Jai be no more than a piece of earth, some grass covered by a random daisy or two?

  I look up at the sky and make pictures out of the wispy clouds.

  “Jai, I hope you’re taking good care of Mum…” My voice echoes through the silence; even the birdsong seems to have ebbed.

  I glance down at the diamond solitaire on my finger. It was a symbol of our love and the future life I thought we would have, yet he unintentionally ripped out my heart and left me broken. As I sat watching him take his final breaths in the hospital bed, it might have been him who died that day, but as I sit here alone looking down into this emptiness, nobody could feel more dead than I do.

  “I’m so sorry I couldn’t join you, Jai, and more so that I couldn’t give you the children we always talked about. I guess we just waited too long for everything to be perfect, for more money to buy our forever home. The house on Chestnut Drive, the one with the white picket fence… But for us perfect never came, and we left it too late.”