Big Sky Cowboy

by Jennifer Mikels

  She’d planned to keep the problem to herself. She wished she could tell Colby about Leone’s visit, but it was best to keep him out of everything.

  For forty-five minutes, she visited with Ruth Raymond, who’d become a regular at her store. According to Ruth, the top gossip in town was about Tessa and Colby. Tessa sidetracked her with information about planting the bulbs. She couldn’t answer any of the woman’s questions, especially one about a wedding in the future. “I can’t see my own future,” she simply answered.

  By the time she reached the Harmon ranch, she’d tucked away any youthful fantasies about orange blossoms and wedding bells, about staying in Rumor, raising children here.

  She parked her van and slid out from behind the steering wheel to wait for Colby. “All my deliveries are made,” she said as he approached with Clarence Harmon.

  Though Tessa smiled at the rancher, he remained stone-faced. “Heard you delivered fans to the Raymonds. Ruth believes in that nutty stuff at your store, doesn’t she? If you ask me, it’s all nonsense. You’re like your mother, aren’t you?”

  “You knew her?”

  “Everyone thought she was crazy,” he said with candor more than malice. “Lots of people thought your father would marry another woman.”

  Tessa felt tension in Colby’s hand on her back. Had people asked her father why he was with the crazy woman? Would they say that to Colby if he kept seeing her?

  Annoyance hung in Colby’s voice. “Guess people were wrong about a lot of things,” he said pointedly.

  The rancher’s frown deepened. “Didn’t mean any offense, Colby.”

  “Glad to hear that.” Gently he pressed her back and urged her toward their vehicles, but Tessa sensed his anger. “Don’t let him upset you,” he said after they’d stepped away.

  “I’m okay,” she assured him. “Not everyone accepts what I can do. I know that.” Not even Colby, she thought sadly.

  In her van, she flicked on the CD player while she drove to Colby’s ranch. Like Harmon, a lot of people would never accept her. That rancher had made her remember how difficult it was for her mother and Tessa to gain acceptance, to belong. Colby had always known the feeling of belonging. With the trouble Leone was about to drop in her lap, if she stayed in Rumor, kept seeing Colby, people would begin to treat him differently.

  Colby was glad to be alone in the truck with time to think. He drove to the school and turned in the delivery lists with the recipients’ signatures on them. He avoided small talk with Pierce, wanted to head for the ranch. He’d expected Tessa to be home. Home. His thought stirred a frown. It’s my home, he reminded himself, not hers. But it didn’t have to be that way.

  When he made the turn onto the dirt driveway and saw her van parked by the house, a sense of contentment came over him. He wanted her near—always, he realized.

  He’d felt not only passion but also love when he’d held her. He’d believed he wouldn’t want love again, and then he’d met her.

  Parked, he climbed out of the truck, cast a look around him. He had plenty to offer if she wanted it. Would she? he wondered as he started for the house.

  He took a step, but stilled in response to the sound of a car engine. Raising a hand, he tipped his hat to shade his eyes from the glare of the sun and squinted at the car parking behind his truck. He knew who it was before the woman slid out of the shiny red sports car.

  Smiling, Diana slammed the door of her Corvette. Colby, you’ve been avoiding me. I came by the other evening, and you weren’t home.” Looking as if she’d stepped off the pages of some fashion magazine for the best-dressed look at a dude ranch, she ambled to him.

  With every breath, he drew in her fragrance. And he felt nothing. Long ago, he’d stopped caring. He knew that now. He’d let feelings stymie him, keep him from going on with his life.

  “Colby, we need to spend time together.” Possessively she placed a hand on his chest. “Remember how good we were together?”

  He remembered that she’d left him believing marriage was for other people.

  “I was wrong before.”

  He raised a hand to block hers from touching his face, held it for a second. Hurting her in any way wasn’t a part of his plan. “No, it’s over.”

  “Why should it be? You aren’t still sulking about what happened before, are you?”

  He hadn’t thought about her, about that time since meeting Tessa. “That has nothing to do with this. We both know that it’s over.”

  Her brows made a small frown. “The only reason you’d say that to me is because there’s someone else.” Her voice trailed off as she glanced sidelong at Tessa’s van. Incredulity raised her voice. “It’s because of the weird little palm reader, isn’t it? She’s hardly your type, Colby.”

  “Could be that she’s exactly my type.”

  “You’re serious?” She looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Have you told her that you love her?”

  He hadn’t. Not yet. “You’d never be happy here, Diana.”

  What sounded like both annoyance and anger edged her voice. “So that’s it?” When he didn’t answer, she shook her head at him. “You’ll be sorry, Colby.” When she whirled away, he didn’t expect her to look back, but she paused at her car door. “She isn’t right for you.”

  He figured Diana would be upset for fifteen minutes, then start planning where to go to find some excitement. She’d told him she considered Rumor a hick town. In time, ranch life would have bored her. He knew they’d have never been happy together.

  A step from the porch, he looked up. Tessa stood before him with her carryall on her shoulder. Black and silver earrings dangled almost to her shoulders. The gauzy white top, the squash blossom belt, and long floral skirt gave her a Gypsy look. “Where are you going?”

  “I have to handle some business.”

  “What?” Something in her eyes stilled him, stopped him from smiling.

  “She wants you back, doesn’t she?”

  If she’d seen them talking, she must have also seen the irritation in Diana’s stride when she’d walked away. This wasn’t about Diana. So what was wrong? Didn’t she realize by now he was there for her? If you have a problem, tell me, he wanted to say. “She’s part of my past.”

  “Is she?”

  “She was even before I met you, Tessa.” But he’d been too dumb to realize what he knew now. “You’d have known that if I’d told you the truth about Diana and me.”

  Interest swept into the gray eyes that had weakened his resistance since the moment they’d met. “The truth?”

  He had to level with her, should have before this. “Everyone believed Diana and I agreed to end our engagement. The gossipers had insisted we were perfect for each other.” He stepped closer, needing nearness with her. “The truth was she dumped me.” He’d thought it would be harder to share that with someone. But Tessa wasn’t just anyone. It occurred to him that he trusted her more than anyone else. “She found something better. She met her late husband.”

  Empathy softened her eyes. “Colby.” She touched his hand. “Colby, you don’t have to go on.”

  She’d shared hurt about her father, about some guy who’d let her down. “You need to know it all. Rich, older, he lavished her with expensive gifts. Suddenly I was just a rodeo man. I made good money, but I couldn’t afford to give her the same kind of things.”

  Her hand fell to her side. “But now she doesn’t need you to. She’s a rich widow. She has the money.”

  “Yeah, that’s true.”

  “And she wants you.”

  Colby grinned wryly. There was too much truth in what she’d said. “I wasn’t good enough before.”

  “Now you can have her.”

  “Tessa, none of this has anything to do with her. Don’t you know that? This is about me. About pride. She bruised the hell out of it when she rejected me. I was convinced I wouldn’t let any woman do that to me again.”

  “Oh.” Tessa’s heart twisted. Here was his pai
n. She opened herself to it, to the grief, to his embarrassment, felt all of it. She realized in that moment what he’d just given her. He’d opened his soul to her. He’d told her something that had hurt him badly. No man had ever given her so much.

  “I want to be with you all the time.”

  Her heart skipped. She wanted that, too. She’d love to say yes, but for both their sakes, she couldn’t. “Oh, Colby, you’re not being sensible.”

  He laughed at her words. “Don’t you be,” he said, wrapping his arms around her.

  She was so open to him, to his feelings. Emotion welled within her. She felt his sincerity, his caring. Desperately she wanted to believe in them, believe she’d finally met someone who could really love her, someone she could be with forever.

  “I know you’ve been hurt. But give us a chance.”

  She frowned, heard his voice. But his words grew softer. She stared at him, saw his mouth moving, but she slipped into a silent world.

  With a shudder, she jerked back. Flames shot up in front of her face. An oppressing heaviness descended on her so quickly, she lost a breath. She shook her head, tried to block the image. She sucked in a breath, coughed. A crackling thundered in her ears. Heat. The heat swarmed in around her, beaded her brow, her upper lip, bathed the back of her neck. Fire licked at her feet, her hands.

  The flames teased the branches of towering trees around her. She was in the woods. Fire raged around her. As the acrid smoke closed in on her, her eyes smarted. She raised her hands to shield her face against the blast of heat. “Fire!” Run. She whirled to escape the smoke and flames. They were everywhere. Panic seized her. She couldn’t breathe. No air. Coughing, she struggled for her breaths. “Fire! Fire!”

  “Tessa!”

  She jerked, gasped for breath. Hands on her upper arms tightened, shook her.

  “Tessa, what fire?”

  Her heart racing, she stared at the male face. A moment passed before her mind registered that it was Colby’s.

  “Tessa! What fire?”

  “In the woods. There’s a fire,” she yelled. “At the edge of your property.”

  She looked up, searched his eyes for only an instant. Disbelief lived in their darkness. She couldn’t wait. He wasn’t listening, wasn’t believing. She didn’t have time to convince him. Angry, she hit a palm against his shoulder to push past him.

  Before she could take another step, he snagged her arm.

  Tessa spun and punched his shoulder. “Leave me alone.” Frantically she twisted away from him to get free. “You don’t believe. Fine. Stay,” she yelled.

  “Get in the truck,” he shouted, freezing her to the spot.

  Uncertain, she stared at him.

  “Get in the damn truck!”

  With him, she raced for it. He said nothing while he drove. Sitting beside him, Tessa listened to him calling in the fire on his cell phone.

  He finished the call, veered right hard and took her on a jostling drive over a road full of potholes and ruts. He’d alerted emergency services, was acting on faith alone. If they went there and there was no fire, he’d look the fool.

  In the distance, she heard the wail of sirens. They neared the woods to see a fire crew scurrying down a ravine. Tessa saw the flames, the hazy smoke graying the sky and mantling the trees.

  Behind a fire engine, Colby braked the truck to a skidding stop. She jumped out in unison with him and ran forward.

  Trucks and cars of townspeople who were with the volunteer fire department barrelled down the country road toward them. Tessa watched as hoses were unrolled.

  Near a fire engine, the town’s fire chief issued an order. “Who called it in?” he asked then.

  “Colby Holmes,” someone said.

  The man shot a look at Colby. “Damn! Good job, Colby.”

  He responded with a strained smile. He’s uncomfortable, Tessa realized. Was he wishing he hadn’t been the one who called in the fire? She stepped back to put more distance between them.

  “How did he know?” someone asked.

  “Tessa Madison. She saw.”

  People were whispering about her, about him. Tessa glanced his way. He hadn’t looked at her since they’d arrived.

  Chapter Thirteen

  She could handle the stares. She’d been stared at before. But could he? She’d always believed there was no certainty about love or marriage for someone like her. She’d seen the hint of doubt in Colby’s eyes when she’d told him about the fire. He could claim her psychic ability didn’t bother him, but he’d left the rodeo to have a normal life. He’d stopped taking risks, wanted a safe life.

  He’d never have one with her. She couldn’t be the one to take everything away from him, and she would. With her, life carried risks, risks that she’d see something so strong, so disturbing, she’d have to beg others to listen. And his normal life would change forever.

  “I’ll meet you back at the ranch later,” he said, touching her arm. “I need to stay here.”

  She had to make the move now. “I’ll be leaving, Colby.”

  “All right.” Distracted, he noted where the other volunteer firefighters were heading. “I’ll stop by the store.”

  “No, you don’t understand.” Her throat felt tight. “I’m going back to Texas.”

  A second, no more, passed. He turned to her. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m closing the store.” He didn’t need to know more, know she was being forced out. “Nothing is working out.” But then she’d always known it wouldn’t. Life with her wouldn’t be normal. They’d have bad moments.

  “Just like that you’re closing it?” he snapped. “What about us?”

  It hurt to say the words. “We weren’t meant to last.” Another woman, one who could give him a more stable world, wanted in his life again.

  The anger flared. “What was this, then?”

  Chaos surrounded them. She’d chosen the moment wisely. He had no time for her right now. That was best. She couldn’t listen to him, couldn’t let herself weaken beneath words she wanted to hear. She saw his confusion, but couldn’t help if she wasn’t making sense to him. She needed to break away. She didn’t ever want him to be hurt, to lose everything because of her. And despite what he’d said, he was uneasy about her gift. “I—need to leave,” she said as firmly as she could when all she wanted to do was fall into his arms. “You saw how people acted.”

  He spoke quietly, calmly, as if suddenly aware of the people around them. “Who cares?”

  She glanced around them, knew some people were watching. “You might.”

  He reached out, but with her slight step back, didn’t touch her. “You don’t think very much of me, do you?”

  Tessa knew how people would react. Until they talked to him, learned she was with him, they might think she’d started the fire. She could imagine Leone yelling, “Witch,” to anyone who’d listen. “I know it’s not easy to live with all of this.”

  “Who are we talking about?” His jaw tightened. “Me or that guy Seth?”

  Tessa’s heart hammered. “He has nothing to do with us.” She meant that. Often Colby had tried to understand. This really wasn’t about Seth. It was about not hurting the man standing before her.

  “But you think I’m like him.”

  “I think you believe you’ll keep feeling the same but—” How much she wanted to believe in them. He offered everything she’d always wanted. Stability. Predictability. A place to call home. And she was everything he didn’t need. An ache knotted her throat. There were no guarantees that one day he wouldn’t change his mind, wouldn’t want the normal life he could have with Diana. “I know what can happen. I’ll bring risks into your life.”

  “I’m used to them.” Again he looked away, seeming torn by a responsibility and the need to finish talking to her.

  That’s what she’d wanted. If he had time to convince her, she might believe in them. “I think what I do scares you.”

  For a long moment, he was
quiet as if aware she spoke the truth. “I’ll admit that I don’t understand it,” he said honestly.

  Tessa looked past him as one of the firefighters came up beside him. “Colby, are you staying to help?”

  An ache for the love she was losing pierced her, threatening tears. Before she succumbed to selfishness and let herself believe what wasn’t possible, she whirled away.

  “I’ll be there,” Colby answered, dealing with annoyance at being interrupted. He battled the feeling to keep from unfairly venting at the guy. “Give me a few minutes. Tessa—” He turned to her, but she was gone. Colby cursed. Why did she have so little faith in them?

  Because you do, he told himself. He’d seen hurt in her eyes. She’d wanted one thing from him earlier. She’d wanted him to believe in her. At the moment she told him about the fire, he hadn’t been sure he ever would.

  “She’s kind of spooky,” an old-timer standing nearby said to a buddy. “How did she do that?”

  “I’m real glad she did,” the other guy said.

  Colby had seen the stares, as if there was something wrong with her. People made her sound strange. Alien. He wasn’t sure about what had happened. He didn’t understand it. But he knew she’d felt that fire. And most of all, he knew what he felt for her.

  He donned hard hat and gloves, and grabbing a shovel, he joined the others. Falling in line between two neighbors, he began digging a trench, a firebreak, through the woods to the road.

  For a few frightening moments, she’d gone rigid, her eyes wide, then she’d started screaming at him. When he’d touched her, she’d felt hot, feverish. A dozen thoughts had barraged him. He’d gone through a second of doubt. Only a second. Then he’d seen the fear in her eyes.

  Colby threw another shovelful of dirt down. The whirl of a helicopter grabbed his attention. It and an aerial tank circled overhead, dropped fire-retardant chemicals on the blaze. Smoke engulfed the planes. The smell of the fire covered the volunteers and the firefighters. Nearby a crew felled a tree with electric saws to prevent the fire from jumping across the road.