SCREAMIN' in Pain

by Cynthia Pegram

  I take a drink of my beer thinking about that. If I keep myself, busy . . . I do not know. I know I do not have a choice. I am certain I will be okay! What else can I be?

  “Heather, I will be fine. Honestly, I just want it over. Maybe, when this is done, I can figure out what I want to do with my life!”

  Theresa brings our food to us. I have wonton tacos. Heather order a hamburger. Randy order a steak. We all eat in silence. Theresa brings us another round.

  As I sit there eating, my mind continues to spin. I cannot help to think how Hugh and I once had a good relationship. Every time I look at Heather and Randy, I think of that. I wished things had never changed between us. I wish I could have crawled into his head for five minutes. I wish I knew what changed him. I wish he would have loved me more. I wish . . . I wish . . . I wish. Wishing was not going to change anything.

  Heather’s is talking to Randy and her voice snaps me out of my thinking, “Kris painted Hugh’s bedroom today. She wants to paint the rest of the house. I am going to help her. I think it will look better.”

  She is so excited about helping. I give her a smile feeling good inside.

  “Really? I can take some time off work. I want to help too. That would be fun.”

  I look over to Randy as if he has lost his mind. How much fun can painting be?

  “Randy, Kris moved a bunch of furniture today by herself. I don’t think that was smart.”

  “You know baby, she is pretty strong. Kristy, you should not have done that though. You could have hurt yourself. I will help you move the furniture in the rest of the house. Just to make Heather happy!”

  If they are going to offer their help. There is no reason I should not let them. It will go a lot quicker if we all did it. I appreciate them wanting to help me.

  “Can I get you guys anything else? Dessert or a drink?” Theresa walks back to our table.

  The way she looks at me, I can tell she does not like me. I have no idea why though. I never did anything to her. Heather and I came in for lunch a few times. Maybe we got out of hand one day. Who knew who cared?

  “Yes, could we please get another round?”

  I do not know why I am being nice to her! Well, that is the way my mom raised me. Be polite use your manners. I have always done that!

  I look up and notice a good-looking man sitting at the bar looking at me. He stands and comes over to our table. Randy looks up at him.

  This man looks directly at me with a big smile on his face, “hey beautiful, can I join you and your friends?”

  I find that is a great compliment. I decide I am going to flirt a little. I have not done that in a long time.

  “Sure honey.” I tell him as Randy tries not to laugh.

  “No, you cannot! She just lost her husband. Now, get the hell out of here.” Heather says her face red with serious anger. I can see her hands are shaking.

  The poor man looks down to the ground. He looks back up at me, “I am so sorry. I had no idea.” He has his head down as he leaves our table.

  “Heather, you are so rude. Seriously, I was only flirting a bit. I would not have done anything. You should know that. And if I did, who cares!”

  I look over to him yes he is cute. Maybe I want to do something. Maybe, make out a little. It has been a while since I had some fun!

  “I’m sorry, Kris. I did not mean to act rude. I was just protecting you.”

  I smile at her letting her know it was all good. I walk over to this man.

  “Hey, I’m sorry about my friend. Give me twenty minutes, I will meet you outside.”

  He looks at me surprised, then he smiles.

  I stroll back to our table giving Heather a nasty look as I return. I take two more shots of tequila then Theresa brings our checks. We paid them then walk out. Once outside Randy turns to me.

  “Kristy, what time should we be at your house tomorrow?”

  “I would like to get started early. How about eight?”

  I do not sleep well anyway. I feel like I never sleep. I might even get up and start earlier.

  “Cool, we will see you at eight.” Randy hugs me then Heather does the same. They leave the restaurant to go home.

  I head outside to the parking lot. That man is waiting for me. I walk over to him.

  “Hi, I’m Kristy.” I am feeling my buzz now.

  “Hi, I’m Jax.”

  I take his hand so we can go to my car. We stop and I start to kiss him. I continue to walk him to my car. Once we are in it we start to make out. We are really getting into it. We make out for about thirty minutes. I feel his dick it is so hard. He grabs my right boob pulling at the nipple.

  What am I doing, I cannot do this. I push him off me, “I am so sorry, I can’t do this,” I tell him as I try not to cry.

  He looks into my eyes. They are pleading with me, “Please Kristy, it has been a long time since I’ve had a release. Don’t leave me hanging.”

  I feel so sorry for him. Yes, I had led him on! I take his cock into my hand. I am rubbing him down. It does not take long for him to scream as he cums. He thanks me feeling bad. He gets out I drive home. I cry as I go home feeling like a slut.

  CHAPTER 9

  I enter inside of my house, going straight into the spare bedroom. I will not call it Hugh’s room anymore. That is what it is going to be, a spare bedroom. I really like how the walls came out. I end up moving the furniture back into it.

  I am done with that going to my room. I turn on the TV while I get ready for bed. I lay for a while but do not find anything I want to watch. I turn the TV off to try to sleep. I toss and turn for hours. Finally, I drift off to sleep.

  I wake up at seven the next morning. I feel so sluggish. Oh well. A shower will make me feel better. I stand under the water letting it beat on me. I dress for my day of painting. I am feeling very good about this.

  I am getting ready to go into the kitchen when my phone rings. I look to see Randy is calling. I hope he is not going to back out.

  “Hi Randy, what’s going on?”

  “Hi, Kristy. I am just checking to see if you need paint. Or anything else.”

  Randy owns his construction company. He can get me all the paint I need without a cost.

  “Yes, I do need some paint. How about a light blue, a lavender, maybe a light yellow.” Saying that aloud I am hoping it looks as good on the walls as it does in my mind. I guess if it does not, I can repaint it!

  “Sure, no problem. We will be there in a little while.”

  When we hang up, I walk into the kitchen grabbing a cup of coffee. I figure that while I wait for them I will take the furniture out of my room. I am done with that when there is a knock on the door.

  “Hey, Randy, and Heather.”

  I back up so Randy can bring in the paint. I smile thinking to myself . . . they look as bad as I do. They are wearing torn sweats and tee shirts.

  Heather is not very happy that I took the furniture out by myself. Oh well, she will get over it and if she does not, no big deal.

  We all jump in and start working. Randy paints my bedroom. An accent wall of lavender the rest of the walls white. Heather paints the kitchen with an accent wall of yellow. The rest of the walls white. I paint the living room white with an accent wall of navy blue.

  It takes us all day long to do the painting. We do not touch the hallway or bathrooms. I tell Randy I will do those later. When we finally are done, we go through each room looking at them. I am so impressed.

  “Thank you guys, so much. I love how it turned out. Wow! So much better.”

  I hug them both truly grateful for their help. We have a beer then they leave.

  I chill out on the couch for the rest of the day. I sit there debating on what to wear to Hugh’s funeral tomorrow. Going into my room, I decided on that basic black dress he liked.

  The walls seem dry enough so I put the furniture back in each room. Taking a hot bath, I get ready for bed. Again, I toss and turn.

  I get up in the mornin
g not feeling like myself. My emotions are going crazy. I am not sure how to feel. I feel sad, but at the same time, I am ready to bury him. I want to move on with my life.

  Heather and Randy arrive at my house around nine in the morning. The funeral is at ten o’clock. The ride to the church is somber. When we arrive at the church, the parking lot has many cars in it. That is surprising to me! Going inside the church, I see friends of, Hugh’s, his employees, some people I do not know. Very surprising, I see his parents are there.

  Randy and Heather take me to the front of the church. We sit next to his parents. His mom takes my hand in hers. The service is nice although not a lot of people are crying. I cry yet I probably should have cried more. After the service, we head to the graveyard to lay Hugh to rest.

  When I turn to leave, I see Vanessa in the parking lot. I walk over to her.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I raise my voice to her.

  She slaps me in the face. I give her a right hook across her jaw. Randy gets between us. The nerve of her! That bitch!

  “Fuck you, Kristy!” I get ready to hit her again except she runs off crying holding her face.

  I really do not feel like going to Hugh’s reception except I know I have to. When we get to Heather’s, I do the polite chitchat. Yes, she has really gone out of her way. The place looks great! She is being a very gracious host. Standing in a corner, I look around. People are telling stories about Hugh. From what I can hear not, many of them are nice stories! I find his parents and we chat for a while, then they leave. I am so glad when I finally get to go home. What a long day. I did enjoy talking with his parents though. I had not done that in a while.

  That night I lay in bed thinking about what I will do with the rest of my life. Now, I can do anything I want to do. I just do not know what I want to do.

  The next morning I get up, I decide to put Hugh’s car on Craigslist. I am hoping I do not have to wait too long for a response. His car is 2011 gray Chevy Camaro 2LT Coupe. A super nice car, which he loved very much. After I am done with that, I shower getting ready for my day. I have a few things I have to do.

  I take off for the bank that Hugh was a part owner. When I get there, Dewayne walks up to me, “I am so sorry about, Hugh. The day of his birthday, he told me you wanted to do that for him. You wanted to have sex with us while he watched. Then he told me he made you do that. If I had known you did not want to, I would not have agreed. He paid Samantha and me a lot of money to do it.”

  I look at him feeling as if I am going to throw up, “Dewayne, you are a lying piece of shit! I need to know what this key is for.”

  He leads me into a private room handing me a safe deposit box. As I am opening the box, I turn around and see that Dewayne is standing in the doorway.

  “Kristy, you know Hugh had a few lovers. More than you think.”

  “Dewayne, Hugh was a big time prick and so are you! Now, if you will leave I will do what I need to and be gone.” Dewayne turns to leave.

  I return my attention back to the box. In it is Two Hundred Thousand Dollars. I put the money inside my purse leaving the box and key on the counter. On my way, back outside I run into Hugh’s business partner, Dean.

  “Kristy, I am so sorry to hear about, Hugh. If there is anything I can do please tell me.”

  Dean, for some reason did not attend the funeral. I was wondering why but I never found out. He always was very nice to me. I like him and his wife, Annette.

  “Well, I am not sure what to do with Hugh’s half of the partnership.” He takes me by the arm leading me into Hugh’s office.

  “I will buy his half of the business. What do you want to do with his belongings?”

  I see there are a few pictures, plants, but nothing I see I want.

  “Go ahead and you can give them away or throw them away. I really don’t need anything from here!”

  “Okay, wait here a minute.”

  He turns leaving the room. I stand looking out the window. When Dean comes back into the room, I turn to him.

  “Here you go, Kristy.” He hands me a check, “good luck to you. I really do mean that.” We shake hands and I leave.

  Once I am outside, I look at the check. He wrote it for One Million Dollars. I smile putting it in my purse. I get into my car heading home.

  I walk inside going over to the computer. There is a message from this man who wants to see Hugh’s car today. I write him back telling him two o’clock this afternoon. I start to wonder if this is a good idea for me to be alone when he gets here. No, I decide having someone there will be better. I pick up the phone calling Randy, like always!

  “Hey Randy, if you are not busy would you mind coming over around two, please? This man is coming to check out Hugh’s car. I would rather not be alone.”

  “Of course, Kristy. I will see you at two.”

  As we hang up there is a knock at the door. When I open it, Officer Harris and Officer Smith are standing there.

  “Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I do for you?” I back up so they can enter.

  “Mrs. Coleman, we did extensive research into the evidence we took from you. There is no proof the money came from the diamonds. In addition, we cannot prove where the diamonds came from. So, we have to give them back to you.”

  Officer Smith hands me a cash bag. I peek in the bag. I look up to Officer Harris. I have no idea how much money is in there.

  “Ma’am, there is Fifty Thousand Dollars in there. We are closing the investigation into your husband’s death. We do not have enough to go on. There were no witnesses. We don’t have a choice.”

  I take the money, but I hand the diamonds back to him. “Officer’s, I don’t want these. My gut tells me you should keep them. I know these are illegal.”

  Officer Harris takes them but then tells me, “I am sorry, but I can’t take them. I could lose my job.”

  I take them not sure what I will do with them. I however, do feel relief. Now, I can put this all behind me.

  “Thank you, Officers. I sincerely appreciate your help.” They shake my hand leaving.

  I enter the kitchen grabbing a beer. When I look at the clock, I see it is one forty-five. I take my beer out to the front steps. Randy and Heather are pulling into the driveway.

  “Hey Kris, how are you?”

  Heather is smiling at me with a grin from ear to ear. She must have been laid I assume.

  “I am doing well. Hey Randy, thanks for coming over.”

  Two o’clock exactly this man pulls into the driveway. Heather and I stand around while they do their thing. Randy ends up getting me Ten Thousand Dollars for the car.

  After everything is finished . . . I never have to worry about money again!

  Heather and I spend a lot of time together. We go to lunch, shopping, even the movies. I finally find myself enjoying life again. I do not have to worry about the abuse or any of the other shit I had to put up with, Hugh. I really do not have to worry about anything anymore!

  The nights still suck; I have a very hard time sleeping. I feel like Hugh is everywhere around me. That feeling scares me every time! I feel like he standing over my bed watching me. Sometimes, I feel like he is holding a knife on me. He keeps telling me he is going to kill me. He tells me how much he hates me. I wake up in bad sweats. I can wake up and I am crying. Sometimes I even wake up screaming. I feel like my insides are screamin’ in pain!

  CHAPTER 10

  Ugh! Here I am three o’clock in the morning unable to sleep. This is getting so old. I climb out of bed heading to the kitchen. I make myself a double shot of Jim Beam. Taking the glass to the bathroom, I run the bath water. Climbing in, I hope it relaxes me enough to sleep. I really need to get some sleep!

  Lying there in the hot water, I start to think about my life. I need to get back on track. I am spending a lot of time at the gym these days. I enjoy it, but I feel like I am missing something. I down my drink when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is extreme however; I know I can make it
work. I know what I am going to do. I smile with a good feeling in my heart.

  When I get out of the tub, I wrap a towel around me. I was grateful to Hugh for making me work so hard at the gym. I look damn good! I have a very hard cut body. Firm luscious breasts, a tight ass with washboard abs. I climb back in bed with nothing on.

  On one of my shopping trips with Heather, she talked me into buying a dildo. I named him Mr. Happy. He is long . . . thick, very awesome!

  I lay out sticking my fingers into myself. I play until I get wet then I slide him in. I start slow, softly sliding him in and out. Oh, that feels so good. I ram myself hard, fast. Aww, my back arches going deeper. I go harder, relax, and let myself have a massive orgasm. I did sleep the rest of the night with nothing on my mind.

  I wake the next morning feeling quite refresh. The night before I had decided I could no longer live here. There are just excessively many bad memories here. Everywhere I go in the house, I have thoughts of Hugh beating me. All I can think about is all the times he had cheated on me. I keep asking myself why I did not leave. What was I thinking to stay? I guess part of me wanted to believe he would change. The other part of me knew he would have killed me!

  I get my phone to call Heather. It only rings once before she answers it.

  “Hi Heather, do you have plans for lunch today? If you’re busy, that is okay.”

  “No, not at all, Kris. What do you have in mind?”

  “How about Applebee’s? I have something I want to tell you.”

  She is quiet for a minute then she agrees to meet me. We are meeting at noon. I want it in a public place. I do not want her to make a scene.

  I arrive there at eleven forty-five and do not see her car yet so I go inside getting us a table. Theresa walks over to me.

  “Kristy, can I get you something to drink?” I want to feel relaxed, not drunk when I talk to Heather.

  “Sure, how about a shot of whiskey?”

  She walks away to get it from the bar. She returns in no time at all. I down the whiskey handing her the glass.