Thanks a Million

by Dee Dawning

  I frowned and glared strangely at him. “Do what?”

  His hand held the papers out to me. “Serve this divorce petition to you.”

  * * * *

  Lila crumpled to the ground like a marionette, whose strings had been severed. I glanced at Lamar. “I told you.” I knelt down beside her. “You’re the doctor. Aren’t you going to do something?”

  He raised his arms out and collapsed them back against his sides. “She fainted.”

  I pressed my fingers and thumb to the inside and outside of her wrist. Thank God she had a pulse. I gazed up at Lamar.

  “Well?” he asked.

  “She has a pulse.”

  “She’ll be all right.”

  I pursed my lips to the side of my face. “No thanks to you.”

  “Since you’re so concerned for her wellbeing, keep an eye on her, will you? I have to go.”

  I nodded. “What you did was cruel, humiliating and unnecessary. I could have had her come into my office and explained everything.”

  “I wanted her to know the break was irrevocable. It’s done and I gotta go. Caviar is expecting me.”

  I watched as he turned and walked to his shiny white Hummer. It was obvious Lamar’s newfound fame as cosmetic surgery to the stars had gone to his head. This was not the same man who was my friend in college.

  * * * *

  To my surprise I woke up on the living room divan while Daniel held a cold, wet compress to my head. “Are you all right?”

  I forced my eyes to focus on Dan’s smiling face. “I’m too stunned to know.”

  He scratched his head. “Lila, you are my friend and I want you to know that serving you with a divorce petition was the worse thing I could think of. Unfortunately, Lamar is my client. I had to give you that petition. It was my job.”

  “Don’t remind me,” I snarled as I felt my face gnarl, “Where is the snake.”

  “He went to see his girlfriend.”

  I jerked upright. “Girlfriend? Is that what this is about? He torpedoes my life, I faint and he marches off to see a girlfriend.”

  I recognized empathy in his eyes. “Apparently.”

  My nostrils flared in reaction to my emotive state. “I busted ass for five years to put that snake through medical school and this is how he repays me.” I shook my head. “I guess I really never knew him.”

  “He’s changed. Success has made his head swell. I know this is tough, but you’re better off without him. The three of us go clear back to college, but I always knew you were the nicer person.”

  “Thanks Dan.” I hugged him, but felt dizzy, so I lay back against the armrest. “I’ll bet you’d never do anything as seedy as that?”

  Dan’s baby blue eyes looked conflicted, he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but didn’t.

  I pursed my lips. “Humph, I should have married you.”

  Dan’s eyes widened. He fidgeted and once again acted as if he would speak, but he remained silent.

  My voice sounded whiny as I bemoaned my situation, “What am I going to do? I have no money, no job, no place to live.”

  Dan’s hand softly stroked my forehead. “You have your old condo.”

  “It’s rented, out.”

  “Not anymore. Lamar wouldn’t renew the lease and kicked the tenants out. That’s where your things are being delivered.”

  I raised my hands and flared my fingers to emphasize what I was about to impart, “That’s fine, but I still have no job, or money.”

  “You’ll get money too. Don’t worry.”

  “When? How much?”

  “I’ll explain it all to you. Tell me. Not that you could have kept working at the medical office now, but how come you stopped working there?”

  I rolled my eyes. “That was Lamar’s idea. He decided, about six months ago, since the practice was doing so well, I should stay at home and join charities. That it looked bad to have the wife working there as if we were barely maki…” I paused while an epiphany took shape in my mind. “Hey! You don’t suppose he wanted me out of there so his philandering ass could fool around with impunity, do you?”

  Dan shrugged. “I wouldn’t doubt it. He met his girlfriend three months ago.

  “What an asshole. And since I stay home now I was planning on trying to have a baby.”

  “Thank your stars, you didn’t.”

  I shook my head. “Getting pregnant would have been a project. We were down to having sex once every two or three weeks. How come you’re here, anyway? Won’t your asshole client get mad at you for comforting the enemy?”

  “He asked me to make sure you were all right. Besides I wanted to. You always have been one of my favorite people.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet.” I sat up and embraced him and when I did, my pulse sped up. I always liked Dan’s looks—dreamy light blue eyes, long handsome face and long sandy brown hair with sun bleached highlights. He even asked me out when we first met. I wanted to do it, but it seemed so risqué back then, going out with a white man, and in the end, I chickened out. Not that there’s anything wrong with dating people of other races. It’s more of a matter of expectations. An overweight, guy might ogle a hot looking slender chick, but he knows it’s not likely they would ever get together, so he doesn’t bother. Besides, nine years ago when I first met Dan, mixed couples weren’t nearly as prevalent as today.

  What are you talking about? He just handed you a divorce petition. He’s your future ex-husband’s smarmy lawyer. He’s the friggen enemy.

  No, he’s not. He’s Daniel, my friend. True he introduced me to asshole, but I asked him to. “What now?”

  “I’d like to talk to you.”

  “We’re talking now.”

  He glanced around. “In a more comfortable setting. Why don’t we go the condo? You could tell the movers where you want everything and then we could talk.”

  “All right. Do you remember where it is?”

  “Ah-huh. Karen and I used to hang…” Dan blanched. “I’ll meet you there.”

  When I got there, the three movers were leaving. They’d set the furniture in acceptable locations. But a dozen or so boxes needed to be unpacked and my clothes were thrown in a heap on the queen sized bed. I hung the clothes up in the closet, set the rest of my clothes in the dresser and began to unpack boxes. It was hard to swallow, but while I settled in to the home Lamar and I had lived in for five years after marrying, he was off to see his girlfriend—most likely fucking like bunnies. There had to have been signs. How did I miss them?

  Dan showed up to help and we finished by five-thirty. I was tired, but on edge. Dan said he was hungry and offered to buy me dinner. After what happened to me that day, food was the last thing I thought of, but I did feel like having a drink or two or five or ten.

  He took me to Gringo’s Cantina—a popular restaurant and lounge near the condo, which was in Pasadena. Lamar and I, usually in the company of Daniel and his ex-fiance, Karen, used to visit Gringo’s almost weekly.

  Daniel asked to be seated in the bar and we were given a booth. Before Dan could open his mouth, I said, “I’ll have a naked lady.”

  His brow furrowed. “You don’t want a margarita? You always ordered a frozen margarita when we came here.”

  “I know, but I had a few naked ladies at my aborted lunch with Lamar this afternoon, so I don’t want to switch.”

  He ordered a naked lady for me, a margarita on the rocks for himself and nachos for both of us. When the waiter left, he turned to me and took my hand in both of his. “Since Lamar is my client, I have to be careful what I say and do, but I think what Lamar did, sucks.”

  “You’re sweet.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek.

  When the drinks and nachos arrived, Daniel ordered fajitas. When he looked for me to order, I set the empty martini glass down. “I’m not that hungry, but I’ll have another naked lady.”

  He arched his eyebrows. “Are you sure? You’re not very big and those are strong drinks on an empty
stomach.”

  “Please, I’ll have a bite of yours and some nachos.”

  When the waiter left to place Dan’s order and get my drink, I asked, “I understand why you couldn’t tell me, but how long have you known about Lamar and this other woman?”

  To my surprise and pleasure, Dan rested his arm around my shoulders. “Lamar came to see me to ask me to prepare this divorce petition on Monday, four days ago. That was the first I heard of her and I swear, I was every bit as shocked as you were.”

  “What’s her name? What does she look like? Where did he meet her? What does she do?” I waved my hands across each other mimicking the football time out signal. “Never mind, I don’t even want to know.”

  By the time the nachos arrived, I was ready for naked lady número tres. “I’ll have another.”

  Daniel flashed a cross look, but acquiesced. “Bring the lady another…naked lady.”

  I dabbled on the nachos and had a tiny bit of Dan’s fajitas, but I just didn’t have an appetite. However, after Dan told me how Lamar planned to take care of me by paying off the condo, giving me a cash settlement of a measly two hundred fifty thousand dollars and paltry alimony of two thousand dollars a month, I needed another naked lady. While naked lady número cuatro, was on its way, Daniel went on. “Lamar is doing a reasonably good job of compensating you for seven years of marriage and hopes you won’t get an attorney of your own. Nevertheless, as a friend, I advise you to seek competent counsel.”

  I looked at him with my empty glass in my hand. “Can I have just one more? Please.”

  “I know you don’t drink a lot, aren’t you getting the least little bit tipsy?”

  By getting tipsy, if he meant seeing double and slurring my speech, I was there. “Yeah, a little, but you have to admit dis has been an extra-aordina-ary day in the life of Lila Patterso-on, soon to be Lila Landers again.”

  He laughed. “All right, one more, but that’s it. At least you don’t have to drive home.”

  I pursed my lips to the side. “Dat’s right. I have my white knight to drive me home and…tuck me…in.”

  Daniel gazed at me and arched his eyebrows.

  When naked lady número de cinco arrived, I blurted out, “Have you seen this bish?”

  He nodded. “Lamar showed me a picture.”

  I frowned. “And?”

  “She’s young and pretty, but no prettier than you and at twenty-eight, you’re not exactly a has been.”

  That made me feel good. I reached out and cupped his chin with my fingers and thumb. “Baby, do you still think I’m the best looking black woman, this side of heaven.”

  “Lila, even though it’s been almost nine years since I said that, you have taken care of yourself, watched what you ate and have grown even more beautiful. I think Lamar is making the mistake of his life.”

  My eyes teared up and I felt that pain you feel across the bridge of your nose when you try to fight off tears. “Then why?”

  He shrugged and stuck his hands out, palms up. “Trying to recapture lost youth. Stupidity, I don’t know.”

  Despite my near inebriation, when his hand landed high on my thigh, a pilot light ignited in my center.

  “I don’t s’pose you know what dis home-wreaker does?”

  Instead of answering me, he looked away and took a long sip of his margarita.

  When he didn’t answer me, I prodded, “Do ya?”

  His face revolved to me. “She’s a stripper. But he’s going to make her quit.”

  I must have been a sight, the way my eyes expanded to the size of silver dollars and mouth formed a perfect circle.

  “She’s going to UCLA. She’s studying pre-med.”

  “I got ta see this. Whatz her name? Where duz she work?”

  He scratched his head. “I’d rather not say.”

  To make sure he knew how serious I was, I rotated part way toward him, took hold of his displaced hand and lifted it to the table. Holding his hand, our caramel and white fingers entwined, I stressed my wishes, “Well, as my friend, I’d rather you told me.”

  Daniel took a deep breath. “Her name is Cybil, but she goes by Caviar. She performs at The Hot Spot!”

  “Tank you. That wasn’t so hard wassit?”

  He sighed. “I guess not.”

  “When duz she work?”

  Probably wondering if he said too much already, he pursed his lips. “Nights, six ‘til two.”

  “Silly me, I guess she’d haf to work nights, if she goes ta school during the day. And I’ll bet, since this is Friday she’s working right now.”

  He shrugged. “Probably.”

  I nudged his arm with my elbow. “Could you let me out, pleeze?”

  His brow furrowed. “Where are you going?”

  My smile was as innocent as I could make it under the circumstances. “The ladeez room.”

  He eased out and I slipped past him.

  After freshening my appearance, I returned and grasped his hand. “C’mon.”

  He jerked it away. “What?”

  I grabbed his hand again. “We’re going zu The Hot Spot.”

  He pulled it away, again. “I can’t Lamar might be there and he’d see us together.”

  Seeming to sober up, I stomped my foot and crossed my arms. “Fine, I’ll catch a cab.” I retrieved the phone from my handbag and dialed information. “Yellow Cab, please.”

  As the number began to ring, Daniel rose and after taking the phone from my fingers canceled the call. “I’ll take you, but we have to be careful. If Lamar is there we can’t let him see us.”

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  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All sexually active characters in this work are eighteen or older.

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  Thanks a Million

  Copyright © 2010 Dee Dawning

  Cover art by Tara Michols

  All rights reserved.