He slowly made his way down the stairs, a soft drink can in one hand. It was still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he’d traded beer for soda, but he was standing there with the proof in his hand.
“Hey, Brody.” Jack looked nervous as he stood behind one of two sofas in the large, open space. “I hope you don’t mind that I made myself scarce for a while? I thought you’d want to hang out with these guys first.”
“That is why I came,” I reminded him. Not to see you. So back the hell off.
“Uh, I’ve got some homework to do,” Tanner said, jumping up.
“Yeah,” Beck said, following suit. “And I’ve got some studying to do.”
On a Saturday afternoon? I wasn’t buying it.
“You’ll come up and see us before you leave, won’t you, Brody?” Tanner asked.
“Yeah, sure.” After they ran upstairs, I stared my father down, waiting for him to break the uncomfortable silence.
“Uh, I met your girlfriend,” he said, sitting on the free sofa. “She came out to the garage with Sandra to tell me they were going out for a bit. She seems like a real nice girl.”
“She is.” I could have told him she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore, but I didn’t feel like explaining myself to him. He didn’t deserve the courtesy. “She was there for me when Mom died.” Which is more than I can say for you.
“Wow, you two have been together a long time then? Ever think about getting married?”
“Why? So I can wind up disappointing her the way you disappointed Mom? No, I love her too much to do that to her.”
He shook his head as though he’d come down here prepared to take his blows. “Didn’t stop your brother Ryker from getting married. From everything I’ve heard and read, he seems happy. Nex just got married too, didn’t he?”
He didn’t deserve to know anything about the sons he’d abandoned, but I couldn’t deny he’d done his research.
“Yeah. But Nex was too young to remember much.” That wasn’t entirely true, but my kid brother hadn’t let our old man’s actions define him the way I had.
“I spent a lot of years hating myself.” He set the can on the glass-topped table. “I eventually had to stop.”
As far as I was concerned, he should hate himself. “Am I supposed to be impressed? ‘Cause I’m not.”
“I couldn’t be a good husband, father, or provider if I continued blaming myself for my mistakes. I knew I couldn’t make up for the damage I’d done with you boys and your mother, but I could be a good husband to Sandra and a good dad to Beck and Tanner. So that’s what I decided to do, make the most of my second chance.”
The father I remembered had never had a coherent thought. I couldn’t believe the person sitting across from me was the same man. He made sense, presenting a rational defense… and I hated it. What he’d done was inexcusable, and I wanted him to see it the way I did.
“What makes you think you deserve a second chance?”
“That’s a good question,” he said, scraping a hand over the silver stubble on his face. “One I asked myself over and over, especially the first year after your mom died. Bill was trying to convince me I deserved a chance at a decent life. So was Sandra. The people in the AA meetings and at church thought I deserved one too. But I didn’t.”
“Church?” I asked, sounding incredulous. “You expect me to believe you go to church?”
He smiled. “Have been for a long time now. It’s a big part of my life. Faith is what gives me the strength to stay on the right path when things get tough.”
I’d always known him to be a con artist and a liar, so I wasn’t convinced I could believe him now. But it was difficult not to with the evidence all around me: nice wife, good kids, comfortable home, steady job.
“Did you tell your brothers you were coming here to see me?”
“I didn’t come here to see you. I came here to meet Beck and Tanner.”
“Right.”
“And to answer your question, no, I didn’t tell them. I did tell Kane that I saw you,” I said.
“And?”
“He hates your guts.” I felt a twinge of guilt when he blanched.
“Can’t say I blame him,” he said solemnly. “He’s made it his life’s work to uphold the law. His memories of me must revolve around all the laws I got away with breaking: assault, illegal gambling, writing bad checks. The list of my sins goes on and on, doesn’t it?”
I didn’t want to talk about sins—that would force me to look at my own. I hated to admit in a lot of ways, he’d been more courageous than I had. At least he came clean and asked for forgiveness. I had yet to do that.
“When did you decide to go straight?” I asked.
“When I saw the Tampa sign in my rearview mirror as I drove away for the last time. I knew by that time Ryker was old enough to take care of you boys. He’d find a way, and he’d do a better job of it than I ever could have.”
“He did too.” But Ryker hadn’t always been squeaky clean either. He’d done what he had to do to keep us all together, and I never judged him for it. On the contrary, I thought his actions, his sacrifices, made him more of a man, not less.
“I knew you guys were better off without me. The only thing I could do was go somewhere where I could get lost, where no one would know me.”
“And you thought Vegas was the best place to do that?” I asked in disbelief. They didn’t call it Sin City for nothing. I knew that better than anyone.
“I came here thinking I might be able to make enough at the casinos to keep myself going ‘til I found a real job. It didn’t take me long to realize I didn’t belong in those places, not if I was serious about turning things around.”
Funny, I was beginning to wonder whether I still belonged in those places. “So you rented a room here and met Sandra. That’s when things started to get better?” I didn’t want to be drawn into his story, but I couldn’t help it. I was curious. Besides, I reasoned, when I decided to tell my brothers everything, I wanted to have all the facts.
“No, things started to get better when Bill convinced me to go to meetings and helped me find a job driving truck for a friend of his. A little while later, Sandra talked me into going to church with her one Sunday, and every Sunday after that. The rest, as they say, is history.”
“She seems like a nice lady, your wife.” And I had to admit, if she was willing to stick it out with him all these years, she had to see something in him I didn’t.
He stole a glance at me. “She reminds me a lot of your mother.”
“Do not,” I said, holding my finger up in warning, “talk to me about my mother.” I wasn’t ready to go there. If I did, I’d likely explode, and I didn’t want to do that with Beck and Tanner upstairs.
“Fair enough,” he said, taking my warning in stride. “You think you might come back and see us sometime, or maybe we could come to Tampa to visit? I know Tanner and Beck would love to meet their other brothers.”
“They don’t even know about Beck and Tanner yet,” I reminded him. “Give me some time to figure out how to break it to them.”
“Sure, of course,” he said, raising his hand. “I don’t mean to push. You take all the time you need. I’m just grateful you’re here, that you were willing to take that first step. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“No, it wasn’t. But I did it for them,” I said, jerking my head toward the stairs. “Not for you. I don’t owe you a damn thing.”
“You think I don’t know that?” he asked, a slight edge to his voice for the first time. “Believe me, I know. I’ll never be able to repay my debt to you boys. Never.”
I should feel some satisfaction hearing him admit that, but I didn’t.
As soon as I heard the front door open, followed by female chatter, I fired off a quick text to our driver, asking him to pick us up, and I jumped up. “I should say good-bye to Beck and Tanner. Riley and I have to go.”
Jack set his hand on my shoulder, and
I knew he could feel my entire body tense. I considered warning him to take his hand off me before I broke it.
“Just know you’re welcome here anytime, son.”
Son. I choked back emotion as I warred with myself. This was a man I would have been proud to call my father when I was a kid, but could I erase all the bad memories as though they’d never happened and give him another chance?
***
We were spending the night at a small boutique hotel away from the strip. Tonight, more than anything, I wanted peace, quiet, and relaxation, so I could process my thoughts. Not the bright lights and excitement of the city I’d once loved.
“I thought things went well today, didn’t you?” Riley asked.
She was sitting across the small table from me, in one of the two intimate restaurants housed inside the hotel. I’d booked us adjoining rooms, and now I was grateful for my foresight. Even if she wouldn’t be sharing my bed, I needed to know she was nearby.
“Thank you for coming with me,” I said, reaching for my water glass.
She speared a piece of lobster and popped it in her mouth. “I was happy to do it. Sandra was great, and the kids seem nice too.”
“They’re not kids anymore though, are they?” I couldn’t help but feel bitter that I was meeting them when they were practically grown men. But I supposed it was better than never meeting them at all. My brothers would feel the same way, which meant I had to figure out how to break the news to them when I got home.
“No, they’re not.” After indulging in a forkful of mashed potatoes, Riley asked, “Have you thought about how you’re going to tell your family?”
“I was just thinking about that.” I wasn’t surprised she could still read my thoughts. That had always been one of her many talents. “I’ll have to do it when I get home. The sooner, the better.”
“Why don’t we invite them over to my place for dinner?” she suggested, reaching for her wine. “It’s better than a restaurant. Besides, I have a feeling that discussion could get a little heated.”
She was right, but I’d already imposed on her enough. “Ri, I appreciate the offer, but that’s a pretty big crowd.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, smiling. “You know I love entertaining, and I love your family. It would be my pleasure.”
I wasn’t even sure her dining room could accommodate all those people, which brought me to another point that had been weighing heavily on my mind. “I’ve decided to take a little break from the circuit while I process all this and figure out what my next move should be.”
“Wow!” She looked taken aback. “This is your first real break… ever.”
“Yeah, it’s long overdue too. So obviously I can’t continue to stay with you…” Though I wish I could. “And I’m sick to death of hotels and restaurant food.”
“I don’t blame you.” She reached for a piece of warm bread from the basket in the center of the table. “That must get old fast.”
It hadn’t bothered me until recently, when I started thinking more and more about everything I was missing out on at home—the house I’d sold and the life I could have had in it with Riley.
“Yeah, it does. So I was wondering…” I sliced into my steak, pretending I wasn’t holding my breath as I waited for her response. “If you’d like to come house hunting with me when we get home?”
“You’re going to buy another house in Tampa?” she asked, dropping her fork on her plate.
I saw the questions in her eyes, the ones she was afraid to ask because I’d let her down so many times. “Tampa is home, Ri. It’s where I belong.”
“Um, okay. If you think having me along will help, sure, I’ll come with you.”
“Who knows me better than you do?” I asked, looking into her eyes.
“Your brothers, maybe?” She bit her lip as she returned her attention to her meal.
I was sure Ryker would say no one knew him better than Mac, and the same was true for me and Riley. I’d shared things with her I’d never shared with anyone, not even my brothers. “No, you still know me in a way no one else ever will.” And that comforted me, especially now, when the rest of my life was in turmoil.
“I feel the same way about you,” she said softly, staring at her plate. “I tell my sister things…” She shrugged. “But you’ve always been the one I turn to with anything and everything.” Her breath caught in her throat. “That’s why things have been so hard without you this last little while. I knew I had to cut all ties for my own peace of mind, but it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
I reached across the table for her hand. “I’m sorry.” With so many things to apologize for, I didn’t know where to begin. “I know I’ve hurt you. I’ve disappointed you more times than I can count. You have no reason to trust me with your heart ever again.” But I’d give up everything I own if you would.
“I’d have to be crazy to take another chance on us,” she said, withdrawing her hand from mine.
“I know,” I said, hanging my head.
“But I’ve always been crazy…” When I finally looked up, she said, “About you.”
I couldn’t breathe. Was she saying what I thought she was? Was she really willing to give me another chance after the hell I’d put her through? “Does that mean you’d consider—”
“Being friends. For starters. From there… we’ll see where it goes.”
That was more than I deserved, but I felt we were already friends. We always had been. Even when we weren’t speaking to each other. A friend was someone you could call in the middle of the night, who’d drop everything when you needed them. Whether Riley realized it or not, I’d always been her best friend.
“Fair enough,” I said, nodding.
She watched me slice my steak, looking amused. “You’re going to give up just like that? That’s not like you.”
“Maybe this is the new and improved me,” I said, winking at her. “The more mature, evolved Brody who knows that good things are worth waiting for. And who realizes that being your friend is an honor and a privilege he’ll never take for granted again.”
Her eyes swam with tears, forcing her to blink. “That’s so nice of you to say. Thank you.”
“It’s the truth.” I shrugged. Pointing at her plate with my knife, I said, “Come on, eat up. I’m counting on you to share the chocolate lava cake with me.”
She laughed, making me feel for the first time in a long time that we would be okay.
Chapter Eight
Riley
I raised my fist to the door separating my room from Brody’s before lowering my hand again. Did I have the nerve to knock, to tell him in no uncertain terms that I wanted to pick up where we’d left off the other night?
I’d had the most wonderful day with him, getting to know his family and sharing a romantic candlelit dinner where, for the first time, he’d talked about what his life might look like if he gave up gambling. He’d never acted as though that was even a remote possibility before. Now that I knew it was, guarding my heart was getting harder and harder.
I’d seen a different side of him since he showed up on my doorstep. He was sweet and considerate at home, making me breakfast, cleaning up after himself, doing laundry—all the little things he’d never done when we were a couple. He claimed he wanted to change, that he still loved me, and I wanted more than anything to believe him. He was the man my heart had always wanted, and I couldn’t imagine it wanting anyone else. Ever.
It was that realization that finally gave me the courage to knock. It was after midnight, but I could hear his TV and see a dim light seeping through the crack under the door, so I knew he was still awake. I heard him cross his suite before unlocking the door separating us.
“Hey.” He wasn’t wearing a shirt, just low-slung black athletic shorts. “You need something?”
“You.” I stepped into his arms, tilting my head back for his kiss.
He slammed the door before whirling me around so my back wa
s against it. That one little word must have snapped the leash restraining him because he was all over me—his tongue dueling with mine, one hand fisted in my hair, the other massaging my breast through my thin cotton tank top. I moaned into his mouth while grinding shamelessly against him. It had been too long since we’d been together, and I needed him. Now.
“Please,” I whispered as his scruff grazed my cheek before his tongue blazed a path to my neck.
“What, baby? You tell me. What do you need?”
He needed me to spell it out for him so I wouldn’t question my decision later or whether I’d been pressured into taking things further than I’d intended. “I need you.”
His muscular body trembled, making me suck in a sharp breath. He’d always claimed I was the only woman with the power to bring him down, but I’d never believed that. I always felt as though Brody was the one with all the power in this relationship. Until tonight.
He wanted me back, and it was up to me to decide when or if that would happen. That’s what his physical reaction to my words meant, I realized. He’d been waiting so long to hear me say that I wanted him again, he couldn’t contain his reaction.
“I need you too,” he said, reaching for the drawstring on my pants. Instead of tugging it to release them, he fisted the string, looking torn. “But not like before, Ri.”
“What do you mean?” I didn’t want to talk anymore. I didn’t want to think or let my doubts creep in. I just wanted to act, to feel, to fall in love with this man all over again and let him love me the way only he could.
“Before, I was willing to take whatever scraps I could get, ‘cause I knew I had no right to expect anything from you anymore. I told myself if you were willing to share your body with me, I’d take it, ‘cause it was more than I deserved.” He shook his head, his eyes still fixed on my waist as his jaw tightened. “But I always left feeling emptier than when I came to you.”
Brody Page 8
