Fighting for Desire

by Sarah Bale

They were both born and raised in Tyler, Texas and Dev had hated every minute of living there. Small towns just didn’t do it for him, especially when everybody knew everyone’s business. And especially when he had never fit in.

  The day he turned eighteen he left that town behind and never looked back. Of course Shannon had been part of why he had run. He could admit that now.

  “Trust me on this, Dev. Let me have my people look into her. If she checks out, then I say go fuck her and get her out of your system once and for all.”

  “And if she doesn’t?”

  Marco sighed. “If she doesn’t, then I will have your attorneys write up a contract that will force her to leave you alone.”

  He stared at his friend and finally nodded. “You have one week. If you haven’t found out something by then, I’m going to find her and finish this my fucking way.”

  * * * * *

  Exactly four days later Dev stood outside a tiny diner. To call it a hole in the wall would be too kind. While the club Shannon worked at was considered upscale, this place should be shut down and condemned.

  A neon light with missing bulbs flashed and beckoned the scum of the earth to enter. He watched as an obviously drunk man stumbled through the front door and barely situated himself on a ripped barstool. Even from the outside Dev could see that everything inside was shit.

  Shannon walked up to the man, wearing a sweet smile. Dev watched as she talked to her customer. She poured him a cup of coffee before moving on to another man who sat farther down the counter. When she was out of sight, Dev pulled a folded paper from his pocket.

  Marco’s man had found some interesting things in his investigation. One, Shannon was up to her neck in debt and she hadn’t just maxed out a credit card or two. She was in serious financial trouble. Two, she had left Texas shortly after he had, though people had lied to him and said she was still there. Three, she had been arrested.

  A smile spread across his face. Never in a million years would he have thought Ms. Perfect would have a police record. The investigator had been unable to find out why she had been arrested but knowing her it was probably something minor like arguing over a speeding ticket.

  The investigator also found out that her scholarship had been taken away for an unknown reason and she had never gone to college. Out of everything on the report, that one surprised him the most.

  Hell, college was all Shannon ever talked about when they were together. She just knew moving out of Texas for school would change their lives and he had almost been able to believe her.

  He still remembered sitting in the school’s library as they filled out application after application. She had specifically picked out universities he would want to attend…

  “Devlin James…if you’d just focus, then we’d be finished.” She scolded him with a giggle.

  His hands had been slowly making their way up her silky thigh and his touch was starting to get to her. No one around them knew what he was up to, which made their little petting session even more exciting.

  “Babe, do we really have to do this? You know I’m never going to get accepted to any of these schools…”

  His voice trailed out in silent defeat. His grades alone would make it hard to get accepted anywhere, not to mention his laughable SAT score. Even with all of Shannon’s help, filling out all these applications seemed hopeless.

  She bit her lip and said, “I could always talk to Daddy again.”

  His fist hit the desk. “Dammit, no! I told you I don’t want your old man’s help! I don’t want to give him something to hold over my head!”

  Her face paled and she nodded. “I’m sorry I mentioned it. I won’t bring it up again.” She took in a deep breath and picked up another application. “This one’s a community college in California and it’s near the beach.”

  His anger melted away as he looked at her. She was the only person who could calm him down and he felt bad for snapping at her. It wasn’t her fault her family was loaded and his…wasn’t.

  He glanced at the application and smiled. “Near the beach? Does that mean we could study on the sand?”

  She grinned.

  “That sounds great,” he said.

  Her head bent as she began to fill out the application for him. A moment later she caught him watching her.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

  Her face lit up brighter than the sun and she threw her arms around his neck.

  “I love you too, Dev. I always will.”

  A car honked, bringing Dev back to the present. Enough time had passed that he could appreciate the irony of the memory. She would always love him? That was probably the biggest load of shit he ever fell for, but in some ways, he should also thank her for playing him like a fool. Without that little betrayal he wouldn’t be the man he was today.

  He shoved the report back into his pocket and strolled toward the diner door. He was here for one thing and he didn’t plan on leaving until he got it.

  “How are the kids, Joe?” Shannon asked the man sitting near the end of the bar.

  Joe, a regular to the Sunset Café, sat with his hands in his greasy blonde hair, shielding his face from the light. Judging by how he looked, days had passed since he had seen a shower and fresh clothes. She walked down the bar until she stood in front of him.

  “Joe?”

  His head lifted and bright, bloodshot eyes full of sadness stared back at her. She could remember looking in a mirror and seeing the same expression in her own eyes before getting sober. Taking a deep breath, she pushed away the pain from those days. Right now she needed to be there for a friend and not wallow in her own memories.

  “She left me,” he whispered in a broken voice. “She took the kids and left and I don’t know where they are.”

  Her heart broke for him. She understood what drinking could do to a person and now Joe’s worst fear had come true because of his addiction.

  “I told her I would go to those fucking AA meetings but she said it was too late.” Tears filled his smoky-blue eyes. “I could hear my baby crying as she drove away. Oh God what have I done?”

  Silent sobs racked his body and Shannon ducked under the counter so she could put her arms around him. Her embrace unleashed more tears and she held onto him, comforting him the only way she could. He was broken and she could sympathize with him.

  The bell on the door dinged as another customer walked in but she didn’t look up. Only regulars came in at this hour and they all knew Joe’s story. They would understand if it took her a moment to get their order.

  Finally she asked, “Do you have a place to stay?”

  He shook his head.

  “I’m going to give you some money. Get a motel room and sober up. Then you need to get to the AA meetings. Even if Lori doesn’t take you back, you need to do this for your kids. Do you understand me? It isn’t too late.”

  “Shannon, I can’t take your money. I know you need it—”

  “This isn’t up for debate, Joe. Now let me grab my purse and call you a cab.”

  He nodded and she ducked back under the counter. Since she worked the night shift, she locked her purse in the tiny office to keep it safe. She’d learned her lesson the hard way when someone stole her wallet two days after she had started working there.

  She unlocked the door and grabbed her purse from its hiding spot under the desk. Digging around, she found her wallet and pulled out all of her cash. She held five hundred dollars in her hand and sighed.

  Joe would need at least three hundred to get him through the week, even at a crappy motel, and her rent was due tomorrow. If she gave Joe the three, she’d have to dodge her landlord until she was paid again.

  She squared her shoulders and put the last bit of her money away. Times had been tougher than this and she had survived. Picking up the phone, she dialed the cab company, slightly sad that she knew the number by heart.

  “I need a taxi at the Sunset C
afé. Ten minutes is fine. Thanks.”

  She hung up the phone and ran her hand through her hair. A roach ran across the cluttered desk and she smashed it with the stapler. She would have to tell her boss to contact the pest company again, which he probably wouldn’t do. Again.

  “Shan-Shan, order up!” a voice called from the kitchen.

  “I’m coming, Tony,” she called back.

  Tony tended to get bitchy as the night went on and she didn’t want to deal with his diva-like attitude. She made sure her apron was tied neatly and walked out of the office. As she passed the kitchen window she grabbed the plates she needed to deliver.

  “Here you go, gentlemen,” she said with a smile. “I’ll be back with some more coffee.”

  She saw the new customer had decided to sit in a dark corner with his back facing everyone. She called out to him, “I’ll be right there, sir.”

  Customers who chose to sit away from everyone else irritated her. Everyone knew she and Tony were the only ones working and tried to sit as close to the counter as possible. She sighed. Asshole.

  She made her way back to Joe, who sat drinking his coffee. She slid the money into the palm of his hand.

  “Here you go, hon. The cab will be here in ten minutes, okay?”

  He nodded.

  “Do you still have the number for the AA sponsor?” she asked softly.

  She had given him the name of her own sponsor, an older man without whom she never would have made it through those first few months after getting sober. She had made more late-night calls to him than she could count and she could never repay him for his help. One day she hoped she could be a saving grace in someone else’s life.

  “Yes, I still have it.”

  “Good. Give him a call tomorrow.” She hugged him. “It’s all going to work out, I promise.”

  Deep down she knew Joe was about to face the biggest battle of his life. The days ahead were going to be mentally and physically painful but sobriety would be worth it in the end.

  Of course he could always decide not to get sober but she was too tired and worn down to even think about the possibility. At least she had given him a chance he didn’t have otherwise.

  She grabbed the pot of coffee from the warmer and filled up the customers’ cups as she passed. She had ignored Mr. Sit-as-Far-Away-from-Everyone-Else-as-Possible as long as she could and headed his way.

  As much as she hated being a waitress she needed all the tips she could get, especially since she was now short on rent money. Johnny Ice’s offer at the club danced through her mind. The cash he said she’d make would go so far…but at what cost? Johnny always wanted more than he asked for and she needed to shove the idea away. Why make a deal with the devil when she worked in paradise? Smiling wryly to herself, she focused on refilling her patrons’ coffee cups. Now was most definitely not the time to consider what Ice was asking of her.

  As she came up behind the man she noticed two things. One, he wasn’t the usual type to come into the diner—he sat straight and actually looked as if he took care of his personal hygiene.

  Two, he was very muscular. His black t-shirt literally clung to the muscles in his back. And boy did her fingers itch to reach out and touch them. Seriously, those muscles drew her hands like the forbidden apple had drawn Adam and Eve. Just one touch…

  She dismissed the unwanted line of thought and grabbed the pencil from her apron pocket, holding onto it tightly, willing herself not to do something stupid…such as actually reaching out to him.

  If Molly were here, she wouldn’t miss the chance to ask him to feel his muscles. She would walk up to complete strangers and men never said no to her. Instead they obliged her, pride showing in their smiles. Well Molly might have the nerve but Shannon could never do something so forward.

  She swallowed back a nervous giggle and said, “Sorry that took so long. What can I get you tonight, sir?”

  The man turned his head and looked up at her with that oh-so-familiar half-smile on his face. Before she could react he reached out and caught her hand.

  “I’m here for one thing, Shannon, and I don’t intend to leave without it,” Dev replied.

  Her heart began to pound and she said the first thing that came to mind. “Oh fuck.”

  Chapter Three

  Okay, so it wasn’t the most intelligent thing she could have said but the phrase felt right in the moment. He stared at her with his dark eyes until she found herself sitting across from him, though she wasn’t sure why.

  “What are you doing here, Devlin?”

  “Devlin? A few days ago it was Dev, remember? If I recall, you were moaning my name,” he said with a raised eyebrow.

  Looking down at the table, she tried to get her bearings. She would not let him do this to her, not when she was already so down in her life.

  Finally she sighed. “Just tell me what you are doing here. I think you made it clear the other night that you didn’t want me in that way.”

  Oh she hated how hurt she sounded but she had never been able to hide her emotions from him—he could read her like a gypsy read a palm.

  "Shannon, I don’t know who you are trying to fool but you and I both know I wanted you the other night. I stopped because we were in the middle of a fucking parking lot! And I didn’t have a condom with me.”

  Her heart pounded and she tried not to read too much into his comments. So he wanted her…big deal. Sex had never been the problem between them. Their issues had been everything else under the sun.

  “Then why are you here?”

  He glanced over his shoulder and looked around. She wondered briefly how the diner looked to him. He probably saw this dump the same way she did.

  The dull, chipped, red-and-black-checkered floor tiles had long ago lost their luster. Every booth and barstool bore wounds of abuse from years of drunken patrons. The sunset mural painted on the walls was probably the worst, though. Twenty years ago the image might have looked decent but over time people had written messages, phone numbers and other crude things over the paint, turning the wall into a graffiti-filled mess.

  Yes, he probably wondered what she was doing in a place like this. Sometimes she wondered the same thing. Sometimes she wondered why she couldn’t suck up her pride and call her father for help.

  Having a warm, safe place to sleep would almost be worth dealing with her bossy, overbearing father. But he wouldn’t let her live down her past and her mistakes. He would make sure she was punished every day until he deemed her forgiven. No, calling her father for assistance was still out of the question.

  Dev’s gaze finally landed on her. “Why am I here?” His lips lifted into a smile that didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. “Well that’s an interesting question, Shannon. I heard the coffee here is amazing so I could simply be here to try a cup for myself.”

  She snorted. “Bullshit, Dev. Just tell me.”

  His eyes narrowed until she felt like squirming in her seat but she didn’t. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure.

  “As I said before, I’m here for one thing and I’m not leaving until I get it.”

  This could go on all night, she realized. He held the upper hand in whatever game they were playing.

  “And that would be?”

  “You.”

  Out of everything he could have possibly said she hadn’t expected that. Her lips parted in surprise and breath hissed through her teeth.

  Before she could respond he stood. “But now isn’t the time or place for this. I’ll be waiting for you when your shift is over.”

  She tried to protest but he held up a hand.

  “Oh, we’re going to talk, babe, whether you want to or not.” He glanced at the gold Rolex on his wrist and said, “Five o’clock and not a second later. Understood?”

  She nodded numbly and he walked out of the diner without a second glance back. What in the hell had just happened and how did he know what time she got off work? She ran her hands through her hair. More importantly what was
she going to do?

  Tony yelled out, “Shan-Shan, get your butt back here. I’m piling up with orders.”

  “I’m coming, Tony. Don’t get your panties in a wad.”

  Grabbing the forgotten pot of coffee, she went back to the bar to get a new one, surprised to see Joe still sitting there. Had her encounter with Dev really lasted less than ten minutes? She glanced out the front window. A battered yellow taxi sat at the curb.

  “Hey, Joe, your cab is here,” she said with a slight smile.

  “Thanks, Shannon…for everything,” he said.

  She nodded absently and looked at the clock. Only two more hours until she found out exactly what Devlin James wanted.

  Time seemed to drag as Shannon tried to keep busy. A rush of post-bar customers kept her occupied for a little bit and then it became a battle to find things to do. Scraping the chewing gum from the underside of the booths had even become an option at one point.

  Finally she threw down her rag and sighed. Trying to act busy was useless and her mind was stuck on one thing. What in the hell did Dev want after all this time? She debated calling her aunt but she didn’t want to worry the older woman.

  No, her only choice was to wait until five and see what Dev wanted. Biting her lip, she prayed he hadn’t found out what she had done. She wasn’t stupid…she knew he had people working for him who could dig up dirt if he asked.

  Her mind ran through a million different scenarios until 5:00 a.m. finally arrived. The relief waitress showed up early for once so Shannon was able to clock out on time.

  She punched her time card on the ancient machine and called out to Tony. “See you tomorrow.”

  Briefly she debated running to the bathroom to fix her hair and put on some lip gloss but then thought better. If he knew her secret, then it wouldn’t matter what she looked like anyway. She opted for pouring a cup of coffee into a Styrofoam cup instead.

  Grabbing her purse from the office as fast as she could, she made her way outside, expecting to see Dev waiting for her. When she stepped out the door she was surprised to see a black stretch limo parked along the curb.