Fighting for Desire

by Sarah Bale

  It was her turn to shrug. “This is the only area I could afford. Besides, it’s just a place to rest. I’m not there much.”

  That was an understatement. She avoided her apartment as much as she could by spending time outdoors or at the library.

  “Your parents are okay with you living in a place like that? I would’ve thought your old man would cut off his arm before he allowed his only child to live in the slums. Or did they finally see their princess’ true colors and don’t care where you live?”

  She took in a sharp breath, not knowing which part of his statement bothered her most—the fact that her parents didn’t care about her or his backhanded assessment of her character.

  She clenched her teeth. “I wouldn’t know if they are okay with it or not. I’m an adult and I don’t need my parents’ permission.”

  “Bullshit.” He laughed without humor. “Since when haven’t you sought their approval?”

  She was saved from answering as they parked in front of the run-down apartment building she called home. Dev’s shiny new Land Rover stuck out like a sore thumb and she was momentarily worried it would be gone when they came out.

  He must have been thinking the same thing because he said, “It’s a good thing I called the moving company ahead of time. That’s their truck across the street and hopefully it won’t take long.”

  “In a hurry to be somewhere?” she asked sarcastically.

  He looked her in the eyes. “Yeah, in my bed…with you. I still haven’t forgotten what we started and have yet to finish.”

  Her face flushed and she quickly unbuckled and got out of the SUV. She walked across the street without waiting to see if he followed. The sound of footsteps confirmed he was a step behind her.

  She opened the door to the building and went inside. Long ago there had been a key-code on the door but it hadn’t worked as long as she had lived there. As they entered the building the smell of urine assaulted her nose.

  Dev muttered something under his breath but she ignored him. She needed to focus on the task at hand. His reaction didn’t matter. Neither did him seeing that she lived in near poverty. Getting all she had left to show for her life was the only thing on her mind now.

  She went past the elevator to the stairs.

  “Of course it’s broken,” he said. “What floor do you live on?”

  “The top floor. Nothing but the best for this girl,” she replied with a wry smile.

  Since the elevator had been out of service for months she was used to climbing ten flights of stairs. The forced exercise was partly responsible for the amazing shape of her legs. She was surprised Dev kept up with her even when she picked up her pace.

  Finally they reached the top floor and had to step over a man who was clearly passed out. If she hadn’t gotten used to him being there, she would have been worried he was dead.

  “Charming,” Dev muttered. “I hope the movers won’t have a problem climbing over him with boxes.”

  She shot him a dirty look and led him down the narrow, dimly lit hallway. Five men wearing uniforms stood outside her door and she felt a moment of panic before she realized they were the movers.

  She stopped at the door and said, “Let me straighten up before you come in.”

  Dev took the key from her hand. “No. We don’t have time. I’m sure these men have seen worse.”

  The guys shifted uncomfortably and her face flamed in embarrassment. Damn him! She stood aside as he opened the door and walked inside with the workers right behind him.

  “Welcome to the good life,” she whispered in a broken voice.

  Dev stood in the middle of Shannon’s apartment—if the dump could even be called an apartment. Fuck. The closet in the guestroom of his house was bigger than this loft-style room. The movers scurried around him and packed up Shannon’s things. She stood in the hall, leaning against the wall with her head down.

  His gaze skimmed the room and he sighed. A moving crew probably wasn’t necessary…she didn’t own much. A mattress sat on the floor near the only window. Other than that, the only piece of furniture she owned was a hand-carved rocking chair.

  The workers packed up all the books, which were stacked on the floor in neat rows, and Dev couldn’t help smiling to himself. She had always liked to read. He continued to scan the room and a bulletin board filled with pictures caught his eye. He walked over to get a better look.

  His throat tightened when he saw his face staring back at him. He picked up the photo and shook his head. God, how long ago had that been?

  “Do you remember that day?” Shannon asked from behind him.

  He turned. “The third grade right?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, you had just moved to Tyler and Mom invited your parents to our annual barbecue.”

  “I’m not sure how our mothers even crossed paths that day but it worked out in my favor.” The sentiment passed his lips before he could stop it.

  He looked back at the photo. Shannon had her arm thrown over his shoulder and he held two ice cream cones, one in each hand. Her blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail on the side of her head and she grinned at the camera. He wasn’t smiling but looking at her instead.

  He had been in awe of her, he remembered. He had never met a girl who liked to play football and she had been pretty good at it…until she started crying. He tried explaining that there was no crying in football and that had only made her cry harder. Finally she told him what had upset her.

  “Do you remember the look on Tim’s face when you punched him?” Shannon asked with a grin. “Sometimes I think about it and I still laugh.”

  Tim had been Shannon’s tormentor that day, making fun of her last name until she cried. When he found out that Tim was braying at her and calling her a donkey, Dev had seen red. The next thing he knew his fist was swinging and Tim ended up on the ground with a bloody nose.

  He smiled. “Yeah, I remember. I didn’t understand why you were so upset at first. When I realized that a bray is the sound a donkey makes I understood.”

  She laughed. “Sadly it wasn’t the first or the last time some genius thought they were being funny by making that joke.” She changed her voice, making it sound deeper. “Hee-haw… Hee-haw… Shannon is a donkey. Hee-haw.”

  The movers came over and took the board from the wall. Dev handed the photo to her and she put it in her purse.

  “Do you want to look around and make sure everything was packed?”

  She shook her head. “As long as I have my books and my rocking chair I’m satisfied.”

  He glanced at the chair one of the men was carrying out the door.

  “Nice craftsmanship. Where did you get it?”

  Shannon’s face contorted until she looked as if she was in pain and he reached out to her.

  “Shannon? Are you okay?”

  She took in a deep breath. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.” She shook her head, as if clearing it. “I don’t remember where I picked up the chair.”

  She was lying through her teeth but he didn’t question her. He didn’t care where she got some chair.

  “Are you ready?”

  She bit her lip. “I need to stop by my neighbor’s. He has something I need to get.”

  Jealousy filled his body and he nodded. They left the little apartment and he followed her down the hall. She pulled out a key and unlocked the door. His eyebrow rose. Why in the hell did she have a key to a man’s home?

  She walked in and he followed right behind her. The apartment was similar in size to hers but was crammed with junk, making it almost impossible to walk. Piles of stuff reached the ceiling and created dividers and makeshift walls.

  “Buddy, it’s Shannon,” she called out. “I’m here to get Alice.”

  Dev stopped walking. Who in the hell was Alice? The investigator’s report hadn’t mentioned anyone by that name. An elderly man came around one of the piles with a smile on his face.

  “She missed you today,” he said as he patted Shann
on’s arm affectionately. “I gave her an extra treat to calm her down.”

  Shannon laughed. “Buddy, you know my girl’s on a diet.”

  She disappeared behind the pile from which Buddy had just emerged and came back carrying a yipping bundle in her arms.

  “You have a dog?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t your investigator tell you that? That makes two things. Maybe you should think about hiring a new P.I.”

  Hell, he was starting to agree with her. He watched as the tan Chihuahua licked Shannon’s face and wagged its tail happily. He then noticed the little dog only had three legs.

  “What happened to its leg?”

  She frowned. “Alice is not an ‘it’. She was thrown from the roof of the building and landed in the dumpster.” She hugged the dog to her chest. “I didn’t know if she was going to make it for a while but she pulled through. Her front leg was ruined and the vet took it off. She does just fine without it though.”

  He stared at the dog that was now looking at him, wagging her tail. “I suppose she’s coming with us?”

  Shannon nodded. “If I’m away from her for too long, she tends to get…cranky.”

  Buddy, who had remained silent until now, laughed. “More like she becomes a little hellion. Better make sure you don’t leave your house shoes lying around, mister. She will shred them faster than you can blink.”

  “He’s exaggerating,” Shannon said as she took Dev by the arm. “Buddy, I will call and check on you in a few days.”

  Buddy nodded. “Okay, girlie. You do that. You’re the only one who even remembers I’m alive anymore.”

  She led Dev into the hallway, still holding onto his arm. The dog had calmed down a little and was now resting her head against Shannon’s chest. Lucky little bitch. He grinned ruefully at the thought.

  Once in the car she said, “Thanks for letting me bring her.”

  He stared at her. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m not a monster.”

  She remained silent and that said more than he cared to admit.

  Chapter Eight

  Shannon decided to leave Alice in her room. The sweet puppy was asleep and would be for a while. When she’d first taken Alice in, Shannon thought something was wrong when the little dog slept so long but the vet assured her such behavior was normal.

  She glanced at the clock hanging in the hall. Hard to believe it was already eight o’clock. This time yesterday she was working two jobs she hated and now…now she wasn’t sure what she was doing or what to expect.

  She made her way downstairs to the dining room. Dev told her dinner would be ready and she didn’t want to keep him waiting. She found him sitting at the head of the biggest table she had ever seen.

  He was reading a document, which he laid aside as she sat next to him.

  “Is the little monster settled in?” he asked with a slight smile.

  She laughed. “She wasn’t that bad in the SUV. And yes, she is sleeping on the bed.”

  “The vomit stain on the carpet begs to differ,” he replied.

  “Sorry. She doesn’t usually get carsick.” She pointed to the document. “What were you reading?”

  He slid the paper toward her. “My attorney drew that up today. I need you to sign it and I’ll sign as well.”

  She looked at him warily. “What exactly is it?”

  “A contract stating what I am agreeing to provide for our month together. It also states what I expect in return.”

  Her face flushed. “Oh my god. Does it say anything about the beck and call part?”

  He laughed. “No, Shannon. I wouldn’t want to give my sixty-year-old attorney a heart attack. I believe the third paragraph states this as a mutual companionship.”

  She looked over the document. Agreeing to be with Dev for one month was one thing but seeing the terms printed on paper made her feel shameful. She had to give his attorney credit though. He’d covered all the bases.

  For exactly thirty days of her time, Dev was agreeing to pay her two hundred thousand dollars. Half would be deposited upfront and the rest at the end of the thirty days.

  He was also setting up an account that could only be accessed after they parted ways. This account was to be used for the college of her choice. The next paragraph that she read shocked her. He was also providing a car for her to use during her time with him—a car he’d put in her name.

  She looked up. “You’re getting me a car?”

  He nodded.

  “But why? The other day you said it was either a car or college. I picked college remember?”

  “Shannon, I saw that piece of shit you call a car. It doesn’t have much more life in it. Besides, I don’t want my neighbors to talk if they see it parked here.”

  Her face flamed. Of course her old Toyota wouldn’t fit in here.

  “What kind of car am I getting?”

  The only time she had owned a brand new car was when she turned sixteen and her parents bought her a fire-engine-red Mustang. For a moment she wondered what happened to the car when she left and never looked back.

  He snorted. “I don’t know. What do you want? A Mercedes? Jag? Porsche? Don’t get too greedy though. I’m giving you a limit on what you can spend.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Holy shit, Dev. I was thinking something like a new Toyota or even a Hyundai.”

  “A Hyundai? Are you fucking kidding me?” He laughed. “How about we settle in between? A Mercedes.”

  “A Mercedes is not settling,” she protested.

  He held up his hand. “I’m buying it, aren’t I?”

  She nodded reluctantly.

  “Then don’t say another word. I’ll let you choose the style and color. Okay?”

  She didn’t reply but picked up the document to read the last few paragraphs. When she did, her heart dropped. By agreeing to spend thirty days with him she was also agreeing to anything he wanted. She was expected to travel with him but wait in their shared hotel room until he was available. Oh, the document didn’t outright say sex, but sex was implied.

  The contract stated she wasn’t required to have a physical but she needed to admit to any known STDs she might have.

  “So you’re just going to take my word that I don’t have a STD?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “The investigator said you haven’t been intimate in over three years. I figure you’re safe.”

  Three years? God, had it really been that long. She cringed at the thought. Johnny had been the last man she’d slept with and that seemed a lifetime ago.

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  She imitated his look and raised her eyebrows. “How do I know the high and mighty Devlin James doesn’t have a STD?” She leaned forward. “I’m not stupid, Dev. I know what most men who hang around The Honey Jar are looking for.”

  He leaned forward until their arms were touching, which sent off electric shocks in her body.

  “Do you? If I would have found you first, would I have gotten it?”

  For a moment she was about to tell him yes, that she would have jumped at the chance to be with him. Luckily her common sense took over.

  “No, I would have told you to go fuck yourself,” she replied as she pulled away. “I’m not one of those girls.”

  “But those kinds of girls do work there?”

  They were playing with fire and she knew it. While Dev had a VIP pass that allowed him to the second floor of the club clearly he had never used all the “membership benefits” that others did. He would be shocked if he knew of the high-profile people who frequented the club.

  She shrugged. “I’m not their boss so I don’t know what they do. I do my job and then I leave.”

  But if he knew how close she had come to being one of those girls…

  He stared at her for a second and then said, “Finish reading it and sign it. I don’t have all night.”

  “In a hurry to be somewhere?”

  “Yeah, in bed with you. Remember?”r />
  She rolled her eyes and finished reading the document. The last paragraph literally made her chest tighten to the point that it hurt to breathe. The contract stated that at the end of their time together they would split ways. She would be allowed to take the car and any clothing purchased for her.

  She also had to agree to take a pregnancy test before she left him. She held the paper in her hand so tightly it began to crinkle.

  “A pregnancy test?”

  He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Yes.”

  “Why?” The word was barely a whisper.

  He looked up and a mask of calmness settled across his face. “Because if I knock you up again, then I want to know before I let you go.”

  “And if I am?”

  “Then I will give you some money to take care of it. It didn’t bother you the first time so it shouldn’t be an issue if it happens again.” He stood suddenly. “But we are going to take every precaution to make sure that doesn’t happen. Are you on the Pill?”

  She nodded but couldn’t speak. Her heart was breaking. He still thought she was a monster and she couldn’t blame him.

  “I’m going to my office. I’ll come to your room at ten. Find somewhere to put the dog too. I don’t want to hear it barking all night long.”

  He started to walk out and she asked, “Aren’t you going to eat?”

  The hard look in his eyes made her flinch. “I’ve lost my appetite.”

  The silence that followed after he was gone was almost unbearable. Mrs. Ingram brought in dinner and served as if nothing was wrong but Shannon wasn’t hungry.

  “Dear, you need to eat something. You are skin and bone. And I know for a fact you didn’t eat much of your lunch.”

  She smiled back at the older woman. How could she explain that she was used to eating small meals—that she couldn’t afford much and so she had adapted? Would the kind housekeeper understand that if Shannon ate too much she would get sick?

  She closed her eyes. Sometimes the pain caused by an empty stomach was too much to bear. In the past she would fill the void with cheap wine or vodka. Alcohol was cheaper to buy than a fulfilling meal. Nowadays she settled on nibbling on crackers here and there to fight off the tides of nausea she felt.