Hunger of the Heart (Wolves of Ravenwillow Book 1)

by Magenta Phoenix

  For several minutes Eric didn’t say anything. Sighing loudly, he whispered. “You’re not planning on trying to run again, are you?”

  Pursing her lips at the thought, she shook her head. “No. I don’t plan on running again.”

  From what Damon had said; running would do her no good. If they’d been attacked because others knew her secret or even if it was retaliation against Eric, it wouldn’t matter. She’d be found no matter where she went. Here; amongst the strength of Eric’s pack, she was safe—for now.

  After Eric’s earlier words she was convinced that she could trust him to protect her, to choose her when it came down to it. Her last excuse for not telling him was gone. She only wished that she felt braver in that moment.

  “Why did you before?” Eric’s hesitant question cut through the silence like a blade. “Was it me? Had I scared you or something? You just seemed to want to get away from me constantly.” His voice was filled with doubt and concern, everything that wasn’t him. She knew now was the time to come clean.

  “I tried to run because it’s what I’m used to doing, Eric. Ever since my parents were killed, I’ve lived in fear for so long. I suppose its second nature to me to run when I get too close to someone.”

  “There’s more to the story of your parents and your scars; isn’t there?” he asked, suspicion heavy in his voice.

  She nodded. Pressing her lips together, she tried to will her pounding heart to slow as she fought off the memories of that night. Blinking against unshed tears, she replied in a shaking voice. “Y-Yes,”

  Eric looked down at her with such heartbreak and concern. It warmed her heart to see those emotions swirling deep in his blue eyes. Lifting his other arm out of the water, he cupped her face tenderly, leaving small, cool water dripping over them both. “You can trust me, Rebecca. I would never let anything hurt you.”

  She gave a watery smile as she recalled his earlier words, “I love you and I hate that I wasted so much time to realize it. If I am lucky, maybe a day will come when you understand how precious you are to me and how my life wouldn’t be fucking right without you.”

  It was time.

  Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself for what she was about to do and what his reaction to her long played out deception would be. “The night my parents were killed…was the same night I was attacked but it wasn’t…” she choked back a shutter of breath as she tried to stay calm enough to speak. Taking a deep gulp of air as tears spilled over her cheeks, she tried to finish telling him. “It wasn’t—”

  Pressing a finger against her lips, Eric silenced her. “Stop.” He shook his head with a pain filled expression. “I don’t want to see you cry.”

  “Eric…you don’t understand.” She began, only to be cut off once more.

  “I understand more than you know.”

  Wiping impatiently at her tears, she shook her head. “I want to tell you, Eric.”

  “And you will; when you are ready. I understand more than anyone how a painful memory can change you and still inflict pain even years later.” Pausing he inhaled deeply before continuing. “For me it was Beth or at least the memory of her that has plagued me.”

  “Beth?”

  “Emma and Travis’s mother. She was my…wife.”

  Needing distance from the memory of the woman that held a place in Eric’s heart, Rebecca sat up, pulling out of his arms. Not noticing her when she pulled away, he tangled his hand with hers before he began telling her his most guarded secret.

  “My life hasn’t always been as it is, Rebecca. I had to fight; literally, for everything I have now. With everything I gained, I inherited…responsibilities and expectations. One of those was to get married young.” He paused, meeting her eyes.

  “You had an arranged marriage?” Rebecca didn’t doubt that Eric was downplaying the parts about his shifter heritage as he told her, but she was too curious to know what had happened to Emma and Travis’s mother to stop him.

  Shrugging his shoulders with a hesitant look, he nodded. “I guess you could call it that. Beth and I had been best friends ever since we were children. Our families were close; I suppose it made sense at the time for us to get married.”

  “Did you love her?” she winced when the words fell out of her mouth. Did she really want to know the answer to that? Please say no…

  “I had hoped we would in time or at least something close to love, but no; I didn’t.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “For a time we were happy; or at least I thought we were.” He finished with a cynical laugh. “We shared the typical husband and wife rituals; sharing meals, going on outing together, holding hands, and sleeping together. At the time it didn’t seem to matter that we didn’t love each other the way people should. A year after our marriage, Emma and Travis came along.” He smiled faintly as he seemed to replay the memory in his mind. “I never felt so happy in my life as when I first stood over their cradle and saw them for the first time. I had a family and I knew then that I would never want anything else.” His smile on his lips faded into a hard line. A muscle along his jaw ticked as his voice turned cold and distant. “I was so happy that I blinded myself to what was happening in front of my face. I came home one night to Emma and Travis screaming. It was a heart tearing cry to hear from your children. Rushing to their nursery, I found them in the dark inside their cradles; Beth had always left a light on in the far corner. I don’t know how long they had been alone until I found them. Beth was nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t until I discovered that all her belongings were missing that I saw the truth. She left me and abandoned Emma and Travis.”

  “Oh Eric.” Rebecca gasped out, her hand covering her mouth.

  Her chest filled with a physical ache at the thought of coming home to what Eric had. It was no wonder he never spoke of Emma and Travis’s mother. Why would he? The person that should have been his partner, his friend, his lover; left him and their children without a word.

  “Did you ever find her? Did she ever contact you?”

  “No.” he shook his head. “I didn’t look for her and she didn’t contact me. In truth; I don’t know where she is or why she left. I can only assume that she no longer wished to be bound to me.”

  “But for her to just leave like that and without her children? I don’t understand it.”

  “Even if she’d told me, I never would have been separated from my children.” His eyes locked on hers. “Just as I could never let you go.”

  “Eric—”

  “Listen to me,” he interrupted again. “I am not telling you this to garner pity or pressure you into anything with me. There are secrets more dark and deadly than what I have just told you. In time; I will tell you everything, just as I trust you will. All I ask, Rebecca, is that you give me a chance to win your love. I will not force you to be with me if you don’t wish to, but if there is a chance that you feel anything for me. Give me one chance to be the man you need in your life.”

  “What happened to the man that said he wasn’t a romantic?” she asked dryly with a teasing smile. Inside her mind she was soaring! So many emotions swelled up in her chest and overflowed. Just as Eric said he loved her, she knew that she was already half way in love with him. She wanted to be with him in every possible sense of the word. It was only her fear of his pack that kept her from throwing herself at him.

  Flashing an irritated look, he tugged her across his body, sending a wave toward the curtain of water to his right. When she laid flat against his front, he narrowed his eyes at her. “Most women would be swooning at such words; not making fun of them.”

  She inclined her head mockingly. “True, but most women haven’t been around you like I have.” Serious now, she reached out to brush back the wet strands of his hair that fell forward. “I don’t need you to say romantic things for me, Eric. All I want—all I need, is you. I…” she gulped as she gathered her courage. “I love you too, Eric.”

  Eric didn’t seem happy at her decla
ration. Instead he looked bewildered. Shaking his head as his brows lowered over his eyes, he asked. “How can you be sure of this so soon? Just days ago you were fighting against giving yourself to me and then running from me.”

  She shook her head, pressing a hand over his heart. “I was never running from you, Eric. Like you said; we both have secrets and I will tell you all of mine. But just as you’ve been holding yourself back from me, I’ve been doing the same. I want to be with you, to stay with you. If you will have me and accept who I am.”

  Accept me as the human that your kind hate and would kill in an instant. She said silently to herself.

  She didn’t know what she was doing saying all this to him; all she knew was that she was tired. Tired of running from what she wanted. She’d been drawn to Eric from the beginning; even when she was terrified of him. After he’d opened his heart to her by telling her about Beth, about how a woman he trusted and treasured left him, she knew she wanted him to know that it was possible to be different. Between them, it would be.

  Her answer was Eric tugging her higher up his chest. When her naked breasts were pressed against his collar bone, he seized her mouth in a claiming kiss. Holding her face, he poured his very essence into that kiss. Sighing against his mouth, she fisted her hands in his wet hair. Tomorrow she would tell him. Even if she had to gag him so that he couldn’t stop her; she would tell him and she would pray that his love for her would only burn brighter as hers did for him. For the first time in years, she wasn’t afraid of telling her secret.

  She was ready.

  She was ready to be free…with him.

  21

  High above the waterfall, flames of jealous rage leapt into Myra’s eyes as she watched the embracing couple in the water below. Her claws flared, slashing through the bark of the tree she peered around. A growl escaped from deep within her as she watched that disgusting human twine her arms around the Alpha’s neck pulling him closer as he deepened their kiss.

  Myra hadn’t wanted to believe what she’d seen earlier when Eric had turned away from her only to slink off with the human. This was who he wanted?! A pathetic, weak human woman! A leader like Eric needed a strong mate, he needed her! He was hers!

  She’d had her eye on Eric ever since his mate of convenience ran off with her lover. She was destined to rule beside him and no human was going to stand in her way! Her bitter thoughts fueled her rage. She wouldn’t go along with this quietly. Eric would be hers, no matter what.

  Turning away from the sight of her Alpha with his hands on that filthy human, Myra called upon her inner beast. Bones snapped and reformed, skin turned to fur and her flawless face changed. In her wolf form, she turned away from the couple with a snarl. She was going to make that human wish she’d never stepped foot in Eric’s territory and she knew just how to.

  With her lupine lips curling, she lunged forward. Her legs rushed over the ground, scattering leaves and snapping twigs in her run. She ran and ran like the devils of the earth were on her heels. After traveling for several miles hours later, she finally reached the border of the pack’s land and onto the land that now belonged to the previous Alpha. The Alpha that Eric had defeated and spared all those years ago.

  Her father.

  Moving through the over grown forest, she leapt over a rotten log before shoving her small form through the large brush that stood on the edge of her family home. The gray two story plantation home loomed a couple feet in front of her in the fading light like a beacon of hope. She would find what she needed here.

  Shifting back into her human form, she calmly made her way up the wooden steps of the porch to the towering structure. Carefully opening the door, she entered the quiet house. Hanging on pegs to the left of the door was a spare dress of hers. With a pause, she snatched it up and pulled it over her head.

  Traditionally; shifters didn’t bat an eye at nudity, but when shifting without first removing your clothes resulted in destroying them. Out of habit, she had always left a spare item of clothes lying around just in case it was needed. Curling her nose at the musty scent of the short black dress, she wiped at the dust along the hips before moving past the curling wooden staircase toward the living room.

  In the living room, she found her father sitting in his usual seat. The wingback chair was a faded blue, the material so worn and covered in dust that it was obvious it had seen better days as had the rest of the house. Ever since her mother had been killed by humans thinking she was just an average wolf, her father had simply existed. His hate of humans was the one thing she had in common with him.

  Sensing her, Senan tossed back the rest of the amber alcohol in his glass tumbler before tossing it against the wall beside the roaring flames within the stone hearth. The glass shattered, the shards fell to join a growing pile in the floor. Her father looked out of place in just a neglected room. He was a well kept man dressed in a silk shirt, dark slacks and his fine shoes. He must have just returned from the city. His face was worn and unshaven, his eyes dark. He was like this when his anger was brewing and he was recalling the death of his mate.

  Must be Tuesday. She thought bitterly.

  Instead of skulking around his manor, she wanted her father to get back the fire he’d once had. The same fire that burned deep within her. It was obvious that he longed to seek revenge for her mother’s death. But as an old man, he didn’t have the strength to face Eric for a second time and come out alive if he wished to challenge pack law.

  “Why are you here?” he said emotionlessly. His eyes never strayed from the dancing flames in front of him.

  “I bring you news of the pack.” She answered, stepping further into the room. She came to a stop beside the fireplace so that he was forced to look at her, pursing her lips in anger when he still didn’t look at her.

  Rubbing at the side of his left temple, Senan sighed. “I do not care about the pack.” Eyes flaring, he nearly spat the word “pack” from his lips in anger.

  “There may finally be an opportunity for us, Father. An opportunity for you to take your revenge against the kind that took your mate from you.”

  Her words worked like a lure for a hungry fish. Slowly his gaze shifted to her face, interest colored his expression. “What kind of opportunity?” after a moment he asked. “Have you heard from our allies?”

  “Don’t worry about our allies. This is even sweeter than what those freaks have promised us. This is an opportunity for you to claim double fold revenge for your mate; against the humans and against Eric.”

  A dark smile curled along his thin lips. “I’m…intrigued. Tell me more.”

  Stepping forward, the fire light casted her shadow across the room, making her blonde hair glow with the fading light. “Eric Daniels is secretly bedding a human woman. I suspect he has for some time.”

  Senan smirked mockingly at her. Settling his elbows on the shredded arms of his chair he tented his fingers. “Are you jealous that a human is trying to steal your prospects, my daughter?”

  Expression hardening, she pressed her lips together in anger at the thought. “She is not worthy to be an Alpha’s mate.”

  Her father gave a cynical laugh. “A human? I wouldn’t worry about that happening. The elders would never allow such a thing and Eric isn’t that stupid to attempt it.”

  “Don’t be so sure. There are rumors that he’s already gone against the elders and formed peace treaties with other kinds of shifters.”

  His face darkened with the news. “What?” he whispered in a dark voice, laced with anger.

  “There’s more. According to the elder committed to our cause, he also is looking into the missing shifters. He’s rule is ripe for the plucking, Father.”

  Standing, her father slowly approached her, narrowing his eyes in question at her. “You would want me to kill the male you have been working so hard to convince to make you his mate?”

  “Of course not.” She bit out. “I want him broken. Once the human is dead and the pack is back under your
rule, I will spare his life by offering the protection of my line to him. With his two little brats to consider; he won’t refuse me then.” She said confidently.

  Her father smiled conspiringly at her. “You have the blood thirst of your mother.” He said proudly.

  A scream of rage erupted below the floor beneath their feet, echoing through the large house. Nodding his head at her slowly, her father stepped back. “I have plans to make with our allies. Go and tell the good news to your brother.” With a loving brush of his knuckles along her jaw, he turned and left the room.

  Smiling to herself, Myra headed in the opposite direction toward the snarling roars of her older brother. Turning down the dark hall, she pulled open the door to the basement. The old door creaked with the movement as she crossed the threshold.

  Descending down the dark stairs, the smell of the rotting foundation and moist wood filled the air making her grimace. No longer would her brother have to be locked away like an animal. Not when Eric was no longer Alpha.

  Her brother, Derik was just one of many shifters that didn’t allow the rules of secrecy to stop them from meeting out justice to humans for crimes done to their kind. Her brother was brave and strong. For years he hunted humans as their kind had been. But once the elders had heard of his exploits, the cowardly members of their pack had grown concerned that he would expose all shifters to the humans and endanger them all.

  Nothing was more important than to keep the truth of their existence from the human world. Without hesitation, the council of elders had sentenced him to death. It was only because her father had been Alpha at the time that he’d been able to spare him. Her father had spared his life, but in return; he’d sworn that Derik would remain locked away from the world where he could never endanger their kind. At long last his freedom was near.

  Reaching the bottom of the stairs, her eyes were drawn across the large empty room to the far wall. With rusty manacles around his wrists, a length of heavy chains led from each wrist to where each was bolted into the hard steel plates drilled into the cement wall. Six feet from his position were five inch steel bars forming a cage around the surrounding area. He was locked away like a savage dog.