Hunger of the Heart (Wolves of Ravenwillow Book 1)

by Magenta Phoenix

  With Eric’s gently spoken words, she felt her world crash around her like a shattered window. Beth. This was the woman that Eric had once treasured and Travis and Emma’s mother. She was back?

  “I'm scared, Eric.” The sound of the woman’s gentle voice as she pled with Eric made Rebecca sick. Eric was her mate. He’d claimed her. She had to be misunderstanding this.

  “Don’t be. I will take care of everything. You just focus on watching your back. I could never live with myself if something happened to you.”His tender vow was like a stab to Rebecca heart. With her heart stopping dead in her chest, she braced herself to turn away from the door. Accidently, her hand slipped on the door knob, turning it and allowing the door to slide open with a loud groan.

  Freezing like a deer in headlights, she looked at the sight revealed to her. In Eric’s office stood a short slender woman wrapped tightly in Eric’s arms. The woman's hands pressed fearfully against Eric’s hard chest as her eyes widened at the sight of Rebecca.

  Caught, the woman looked from Rebecca to Eric with a look of uncertainty. “Eric…?”

  Eric released a deep sigh, his body relaxing once he saw Rebecca. “It’s okay, Beth. She can be trusted.” Letting his arms drop from around the woman, he took a step away from her. Turning to Rebecca he spoke softly. “Rebecca, this is Beth; Emma and Travis's mother…" the rest of his words drowned to silence as Rebecca’s heart pounded in her ears, blocking out everything else he was telling her.

  Releasing a shuttering breath as her breaking heart ravaged her chest; Rebecca felt tears filling her eyes. There was no need for him to explain any further. She could guess what was happening. The mother of his children was back. The woman he’d chosen all those years ago was back in his arms, a woman of his own kind. How could she possibly have a place in his heart compared to that?

  “Who are you? Do you work for Eric?” Beth’s gentle voice cut through the smothering cloud of heartache, forcing Rebecca to meet her gaze. Before Rebecca could respond, Eric spoke, “Rebecca is Emma and Travis's nanny.”

  Rebecca felt her breath explode from her chest with pain. Not his lover, not even his friend; she was just his children’s nanny. Was he ashamed to admit to her that he’d claimed her? That a changeling was his true mate? How stupid she must be to think she was more to him.

  Grasping tightly at her emotions that rushed to the surface, Rebecca held her voice in check. She wouldn’t show how much he’d hurt her with just a few simple words. If he was ashamed of her, she wouldn’t bother him with her human presence. "I'll leave you guys. I just—” Unable to come up with an excuse other than the real reason she was seeking Eric, she turned and rushed down a nearby hall. Tears clouded her vision as she ran. She didn’t care where she was running. She didn’t even care about the shifters that meant her harm. She just needed to get away, to run.

  Lifting her head as tears burned a path down her face, she found herself running toward a door that seemed to lead outside. Before she could reach the door, she collided with a tall, muscled body as someone came striding around the corner.

  A pair of strong hands reached out, grasping her shoulders when she would have fallen. “Rebecca?”

  Looking up in surprise, she felt sobs rack her chest as she saw Damon looking down at her with confusion. The tight rein on her emotions suddenly broke, allowing all her pain to over flow. Lunging forward, she buried her face in his chest, desperately seeking to disappear inside his chest.

  Cupping the sides of her tear stained face, Damon pulled her back to study her stricken face. Concern filled his voice. “Rebecca; what is it? Where's Eric?"

  No sooner than he'd spoke, the sound of Eric's voice rapidly approached. “Rebecca?” he called.

  Looking fearfully over her shoulder in the direction of his voice, she turned to raise her tear filled eyes to Damon's.

  Beseeching, she spoke quickly. “Don’t let him find me. I can’t face him right now.” not understanding, but still willing to help her, he nodded solemnly.

  Pulling her against his side, Damon wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he led her down the hall he’d come from and toward a stair case. Moving hurried up the steps, Damon directed her down several twists and turns until he reached a door. Without a backward glance, he opened the door and ushered her inside before closing it behind them.

  Barely glancing around, Rebecca could only assume she was in Damon’s room. She opened her mouth to thank him, but nothing came out. In her mind’s eye, all she could see was Eric holding Beth close to him, his reassuring words echoing forever in her ears. Unable to breathe, Rebecca gasped, her hand going to her chest. It felt like someone was squeezing her chest, her lungs, and her heart.

  This was what heartbreak must feel like…

  As though he sensed what was happening to her, Damon moved closer to her, his big arms wrapping around her shoulders and back, pulling her against him. Gasping as ugly sobs racked her chest, Rebecca shoved against him. She didn’t want to be touched. She wanted to be left alone to allow this pain to consume her.

  Ignoring her feeble strikes, Damon held her as she cried. When her legs gave out, Damon sank down to the floor with her, his hands moving in soothing circles against her back.

  His voice murmuring softly against her ear as her hands fisted in his shirt. “I have you, Rebecca. I’m here.”

  “You were wrong.” She wailed while she sobbed like a wounded animal, full of unrelenting pain and agony. She was never his true mate as Damon had told her. She had been just some stand in until Eric’s real mate returned.

  She had no place here.

  She never did.

  * ~ * ~ *

  Rushing down the halls, Eric searched franticly for Rebecca’s scent. When she’d looked at Beth with a look of utter pain, he hadn’t understood what was wrong at the time. Needing to be alone with her, he’d explained to Beth that Rebecca was a trusted friend. He hadn’t divulged that she was in fact his mate.

  He would have shouted it to the world if he was able to, but even after he’d let go of his anger toward Beth, he wasn’t certain he could trust her. Beth’s parents were just a few among many that despised humans. He refused to risk that they would come after Rebecca until she transitioned in a misguided effort to avenge their daughter’s reputation.

  After assisting Beth sneak out of the lodge without the notice of others, with the promise that he would contact her when he was able to address her petition before the pack, he ran after his mate. The scent of her pain in the air as he followed her trail made his chest clench. He didn’t know why she’d sought him out after their harsh exchange in the bedroom, but he had to find her and make sure she was alright.

  He followed her trail down the stretching hall toward the infirmary. Coming to an abrupt halt, his beast rose when her scent suddenly merged with another. Damon. Growling low in his throat he followed their combined scents up toward the stairs to the opposite end of the second level. His strides quickened as he moved toward the room that Damon had claimed for his stay at the lodge.

  Coming to a stop, chest rising and falling with rapid movements as he fought down his beast’s need to find their mate and kill Damon, he glared at the dark oak door. Why would she be in Damon’s room? Anger filling him with the possibilities he shoved the door so hard that the locking mechanism snapped, sending the door hitting the opposite wall. Growling with eyes a glow, Eric felt his anger fade slightly when he found no one in the room. Damon’s and her scent floated in the air, but no one remained in the room. Where were they?

  Taking a retreating step out of the room, he focused all his senses on Rebecca, on the addictive scent of his mate. With the faintest of brushes against his skin, he found it. With her perfect scent was Damon’s. He had gone with her! Why? This habit that Damon was developing with following his mate around was going to cause him to get killed. With a stormy expression, he turned toward the main staircase; he headed back down, the scent growing stronger with each step he took.

>   31

  Tilting her head back, Rebecca closed her eyes against the feel of the warm rays of the afternoon sun and the soft caresses of the slight breeze that ruffled her hair. Sighing, she opened her eyes to look up at the towering trees around her. There was something about being outside calmed her mind, but it did nothing to take away the ache in her heart.

  “Are you alright now?”

  Turning she saw that Damon stood a distance away. Smiling faintly, she nodded at his question. When she’d collapsed in his arms, crying and wounded, she couldn’t have been more grateful that Damon had been there for her. But deep down she knew she couldn’t hide behind Damon when it came to Eric. She had to face him.

  When Damon had gently brushed her tears away from her face, he begged her to tell him what happened. She hadn’t. When she refused to tell him, Damon had looked helplessly at her, needing to help her in any way possible. He asked her what he could do to help her. But all she wanted was to be away from everyone for a moment to get her thoughts together and with a gentle nod of his head, Damon had given her that. They now stood a stone toss distance from the lodge. No one would bother her here.

  Except Eric…she thought sourly.

  She knew that soon or later she would have to talk to him. She found herself surprised that she actually wanted to talk to him. Even as painful as it was to replay in her mind; she wanted to know what had she truly seen back in his office.

  With a slight sound of rustling clothes, Damon was at her back, watching and waiting. After a short silence between them, Damon finally spoke. “I can stay if you want me to.” he offered.

  Shaking her head, Rebecca turned around to face him, her arms folding around herself. “No. I can face Eric on my own.”

  “What did he do this time?” he asked, repeating his question from earlier once more.

  “It's not important. I’ll deal with it.” she replied firmly before glancing away from him.

  Shrugging his shoulders helplessly, Damon stabbed a hand through his blonde hair with a heavy sigh. Dropping his hand, he reached into the front pocket of his jeans with a grim look. “If you won’t tell me and you won’t let me stay to watch your back; take this at least.”

  Glancing back at him, Rebecca saw that he held the keys he’d given her the night of the Gathering. Narrowing her eyes, she gave him a questioning look. “What are you doing?”

  “Eric tossed these at me the night he brought you back to the lodge; the night of the Gathering. I’m giving them to you if you should need them. With everything that’s happened since the Gathering, Eric power over the members of this pack is strong but tilts on a razor’s edge of collapsing. Until you transition, you are vulnerable. I don’t want you to be trapped if you need to get to safety.” When she still looked at the keys like they were a spider that he was asking her to pet, he added. “Take them for my peace of mind at least. Please.”

  Nodding, she accepted the keys into her open palm before shoving them into her pocket. When Damon nodded, pleased with her acceptance, he turned to leave her. Watching his retreating form, Rebecca felt her curiosity peak at Damon’s behavior. She’d never really paid attention to how protective he was of her. She knew it wasn’t because he wanted her in that way, but if not that; then why?

  Calling out to him, she took a step after him. “Damon!”

  When his steps halted, he turned to the side to look back at her with a perplexed look. “What is it?”

  Coming to a stop in front of him, she hesitated to ask what was on her mind, but she felt she needed to know. “Why do you care so much about me?”

  Appearing confused at her question, Damon reared back from her, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You’re my friend, I suppose.” He answer was slow coming, as though he was hesitant to lie to her. He was hiding something.

  Rolling her eyes, she scoffed at his answer. “Do me a favor, Damon. Don’t lie from me. I am sick to death of people around here keeping things from me and then just expecting me to accept the truth when it finally comes out. Tell me. Why did you offer your protection to me when we first met? Why have you orchestrated everything to help me and protect me since then? Why is it that you are always there to shield me?”

  A flash of pain flooded his eyes, before Damon looked away from her. Rubbing a large hand over his mouth, he sighed heavily. “Eric has been a friend for years to me off and on. We have our differences and our fights. Coming from two different wolf packs will do that I suppose. Anyhow; the moment I knew that you were hiding our secret and knowing you were meant to be Eric’s, I had to do what I could to keep you safe until he could. Eric deserves happiness, even if he’s too stubborn to reach for it himself.”

  Rebecca shook her head at him. “I don’t understand how you could know that I was Eric’s true mate.”

  Damon chuckled. “It wasn’t that hard to spot. Since meeting you; Eric lost all interest in other women. Plus the night we met, his wolf was so close to the surface that you could practically see it.”

  “So that’s the reason for everything you’ve done?” she asked skeptically.

  Like a light turning on, the look of sorrow was back in his eyes. What was it that pained him so much? Folding his arms over his chest, Damon regrettably shook his head at her. “No. It’s not the only reason.” He paused for a moment before continuing on as if his words pained him. “I lost my true mate years ago and you remind me of her.” smiling though the pain darkening his eyes, he seemed to recall a member of her. “She was fierce like you and beautiful and she was my world.”

  Pain seized Rebecca’s chest. Reaching up to cover the aching deep inside her at his obvious pain, her gaze softened sympathetically. “What was her name?”

  He smiled softly. “Talia. She was a human like you.”

  “What happened to her?” deep down she feared she already knew the answer but she waited to hear it from his lips.

  Drawing in a shaky breath, Damon turned from her, presenting her with his back. When she thought he’d simply storm off after she drudged up such painful memories, she was surprised when Damon began telling her. “Like Eric’s pack, my own pack is very traditional when it comes to humans. My pack lives deep in the woods, far from civilization. I was twenty at the time and despite the laws of my pack, I journeyed into the city. When I saw her; my world stopped.

  She was a student at the local college. To make a long story short; I snuck away from my pack’s lands to meet with her. I kept my secret from her to protect her. But it wasn’t just a couple of months later that my pack members became suspicious of my frequent absences. Someone discovered what I had been doing, they discovered Talia.” A lone tear slid down his face. “A Gathering was called and I was brought before the pack. For disobedience; I was beaten, nearly every bone in my body was broken. Then; I saw her and in that moment; I truly knew fear.”

  Covering her mouth with fear, Rebecca whispered as she lowered her hand. “What did they do to her?”

  “The same thing that would have happened to you if Eric hadn’t stepped in like he did the other night. Talia was so scared and she looked so betrayed. She probably thought I didn’t want to fight for her. I tried to, but my Alpha was so furious at my actions to risk the lives of my pack members for a single human that he denied my right to bear the Act of Revealment. My best friend at the time stepped forward and dragged Talia deep into the woods to kill her. He came back with the smell of her blood on him.” turning back to look at Rebecca he sighed. “Now you know why I’ve remained close to you. I know what it is like to have your true mate and then have her ripped from you, to see the fear in her eyes at seeing the brutality of our world. I wanted to spare you and Eric that if I could.”

  “But I thought that once you meet your true mate; that’s it. I’ve seen you look at other women before. You don’t look like a man morning his dead mate.”

  “What you’ve seen is just me wishing for her. I’ve not touched a woman since that day nearly a decade ago. What you’ve seen is for sh
ow. It’s not something I want others to know about.”

  “Why? Her death wasn’t your fault, Damon.”

  His expression turned bitter. “I can see no other reason but me for her death. The only ones that know about Talia are you and my pack members. I carry a shame that wish I would forget sometimes and I’d like to keep it that way.” Pausing, he explained. “When a shifter loses his true mate after they’ve bonded, the will to live for the surviving shifter is no longer there. But when Talia was killed, I wanted to die so badly, if nothing else to just join her in the next life, but my wolf wouldn’t let me and still won’t to this day. Others think I should have died that day, but I didn’t.”

  “Don’t worry; you won’t be for long.” The sound of Eric’s voice cut through the air around them like a whip.

  * ~ * ~ *

  Turning around, Rebecca found Eric striding toward them with tense, angry strides, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. His burning gaze settled squarely on Damon who still stood close to her.

  “If you want me to stay, I will.” Damon whispered low enough that only she heard.

  Not looking at him, she shook her head, keeping her eyes on Eric as he quickly made his way toward them. “No. Please go.”

  With a grim nod, Damon tore off his shirt and pants; quickly shifting to his wolf form. Grabbing his discarded clothing with his teeth, he looped off in the opposite direction before disappearing from sight.

  With a heavy sigh, Rebecca met Eric just as he closed the distance between them. His dark gaze glared over her shoulder toward the direction Damon had run. With a low growl in the back of his throat he took a step back to turn his hard gaze on her.

  “I warned you not to put an obstacle between us, Rebecca.” His lips pressed into a thin line in anger.

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she pursued her lips, her expression turning just a stubborn and irate as his. “Leave Damon out of this, Eric. If anyone is putting obstacles between us; it’s you.”