Back to the Heart

by Sky Corgan

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this work may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the publisher.

  Published by Kindle Press, Seattle, 2015

  A Kindle Scout selection

  Amazon, the Amazon logo, Kindle Scout, and Kindle Press are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  EPILOGUE

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CHAPTER ONE

  Condoms have a four in five chance of preventing unwanted pregnancies. That was what Ana White’s gynecologist had told her the last time she’d had a Pap smear done. She should have heeded the woman’s warning to get on birth control then, but Ana hadn’t been making the best choices this past year.

  When she’d moved to New York to pursue a better life, she’d told herself she was going to take more chances. She wasn’t going to be the sheltered little farm girl she had been raised as. She’d been determined to experience everything: the sights, the smells, the lifestyle.

  And she had. Life in the Big Apple had wooed her. It had made her stronger and more independent, and being away from her family had allowed her to be carefree like never before.

  Before she knew it, Ana had been working as a receptionist at Fasken Law Firm with the promise of being bumped up to paralegal, her chosen career field, whenever a spot opened up. It had seemed like a dream come true at the time.

  Ana stroked the slight swell of her belly beneath the steering wheel of her car. She still couldn’t believe she was three months pregnant. More than that, she was leaving the life she’d tried so hard to build. What was once her dream had turned into a nightmare, and now she was heading back home, back to Texas, until she was able to get on her feet again.

  Making the nearly two-thousand-mile drive back home had given Ana plenty of time to think. Of course, she’d gone over everything that had happened, the choices and mistakes she’d made that led her here, trying not to be bitter about it. How could she not be bitter, though, when the man she’d trusted her heart with had destroyed her life? Not to mention this. She splayed her fingers out across her stomach, trying to feel the life inside. There was no movement. It was still too early for that.

  Despite everything that had happened, this was one thing she didn’t regret. She wasn’t alone in the world anymore. And she’d be even less alone when she got home where her mother and sister were waiting for her.

  Ana rolled down the windows as she pulled off the highway and onto the dirt road that led to her parents’ ranch. The crisp country air rushed in to greet her, cooled by the darkness surrounding her. She had hoped to make it before nightfall, but damn, did you ever have to pee when you were pregnant. It felt like she was stopping every twenty miles. The fact that she was drinking sodas like they were going out of style didn’t help. She needed the caffeine to make today’s twelve-hour drive. After spending three days on the road, she was going to do whatever it took to arrive tonight.

  Living in the city for five years changed your perspective on things. When you were used to being surrounded by people all the time, being alienated had an eerie feeling to it. Maybe having her windows rolled down wasn’t the best idea. But the lights of her parents’ house came into view, and relief washed over her. The road leading up to the house had never seemed so long before.

  She pulled around in the circular driveway, casting a glance at the barn. The light was on inside, which was unusual for so late at night. If her father had still been alive, she wouldn’t have had a second thought about it. He had often liked to go out into the barn and work on his various projects. But now that it was just her mother and sister, she couldn’t see why either one of them would be out there so late.

  Ana took a deep breath and killed the engine. It felt like her heart was sinking into her stomach, joining the baby. Even though she wasn’t unhappy to be home, having finally completed the trek made her realize that her life in New York was now in the past. She was twenty-seven and starting all over again. The thought was mortifying, and though it had had plenty of time to sink in on the drive, it had never felt as real as it did right now.

  Ana stared at the open barn door, waiting for someone to come out and greet her, but it was the house that her mother came out of, and she was followed by Ana’s sister. Time to put on her best happy face. Time to pretend she was glad to be here, that she was holding together fine, when on the inside, she was falling apart.

  “Ana!” Her mom approached the car with open arms, forcing Ana to pull herself out of the driver’s seat. In truth, it felt great to embrace the woman she hadn’t seen for a good two years. Not since her father’s funeral. If she had been smart, she would have come home for good then, but she’d still been so determined to make it on her own.

  “Look at you.” Her mom pulled Ana back by the shoulders to look her over.

  Hey, Sis.” Celia, Ana’s sister, greeted her with another heartfelt hug.

  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. In a few brief seconds, Ana already felt more loved and protected than she had in her entire five years in New York. Things were different here. It was a different place, a different vibe.

  I missed you guys so much,” Ana told them, drinking them both in as if they weren’t real, as if it were all some dream. She was finally home.

  We missed you too.” Her mother beamed.

  It’s been a long time,” Celia said. Ana imagined that her sister was at least pleased that Ana would make her wedding, which was a few days away. If this tragedy hadn’t happened, who knew if Ana would have attended or not. As it was, she’d be jumping into the role of the maid of honor at barely a moment’s notice.

  You’ve been on the road awhile. Let’s get you in and get you settled.” Ana’s mother had read her mind, and all three of them walked back to the trunk to get her suitcases.

  She had packed what clothes she had and sold everything else. There was no need for her furniture here, and she didn’t want the reminder of the life she’d left behind anyway. It was tarnished now, as was her name. She wanted to begin again. Hopefully, her bad references wouldn’t matter when she did start looking for a job, which her mother insisted needed to wait until after the baby was born. There was no point in starting a new job when you would have to take off again in a few months for maternity leave. Maybe by then, her ex would have forgotten about her. Forgotten that his mission these past few months seemed to have been to make sure that she and her unborn child would starve on the streets.

  Celia carried her other suitcase while they all walked back up to the house together. Ana cast a lingering glance at the open barn d
oor, the light from inside painting the dirt in its glow. She could almost feel her father’s presence within, as if a part of him were still there.

  Nothing had changed inside the house. Not a picture moved or a knickknack misplaced. Even her father’s chair, which her mother hated so much, was still there, sitting in the living room untouched. It was like time had never passed within the house. Ana could picture her and Celia running around the dining-room table as children, her mother yelling at them to calm down while her father read the newspaper in front of the television. The place even smelled the same, like wood and baked goods and home. Ana inhaled deeply and allowed a smile to curl her lips.

  Your bedroom is ready for you. All you have to do is unpack and move right in.” Her mother gestured up the stairs. Her smile was weary, probably from staying up so late. Ana’s mom was always early to bed and early to rise, but waiting up for her elder daughter took priority over sleep tonight.

  Thanks. I know you’re tired. I think I can handle everything myself now. Do you need me to go turn off the barn light? I noticed it was on.”

  Oh, no. That won’t be necessary. We have a visitor staying with us.” The corners of her eyes crinkled mischievously.

  A visitor?” Ana looked between her mother and her sister.

  A man. His name is Ryan Black. He’s agreed to help out around here in exchange for room and board.”

  Letting a complete stranger stay on the property when the only two people there were Celia and her mother? It was downright dangerous. She couldn’t keep the scowl from her face.

  Is that really a good idea?” The words came in a whisper, as if the stranger might be able to hear from all the way out in the barn.

  Oh, it’s fine.” Her mother gestured. “He’s already been here for nearly a week, and he’s been a great help. Besides, he’s just passing through. In another week, he’ll be gone, and I’ll have gotten a lot of free repairs that have needed to be done for a long time. It’s the best deal I could get for a few plates of food.”

  He’s sleeping in the barn?” Ana turned to Celia in disbelief.

  It was safer than letting him stay in here with us, and he doesn’t seem to mind.” Celia shrugged.

  You should go say hi before you go to bed. He’s a nice young man.” Her mom raised an eyebrow. That was the last thing Ana needed, another guy in her life, not that this one would be around long.

  Still, as she went up to her room and began unpacking her suitcases, curiosity got the best of her. Ana wanted to gauge for herself whether it was safe to have him around. After coming from the city, she knew better than most that wolves were hiding in every corner posing as sheep, and her mother was too kind for her own good sometimes.

  With a heavy sigh, Ana trod downstairs, trying not to be too loud, as she was sure that her mother had already gone to bed. There was no point in staying up any longer, and the days always started early on a ranch. Ana would have to get used to the swing of things too soon.

  Celia had already closed her door, so Ana was on her own in confronting this Ryan Black. That was probably for the best. Ana didn’t need her sister butting in to play referee.

  As Ana walked outside toward the barn, she wondered why this whole scenario had her so riled up. Maybe it was because she was tired from the long drive. Perhaps it was because of the hormones and everything else she had been through. That wasn’t entirely it, though. The barn had always been a type of sanctuary for her father, and it bothered Ana that someone—a stranger, no less—was now using it as his personal bedchamber.

  She wrapped her arms around herself, guarding herself against God knew what: the stranger, the discomfort of the situation, her own discontentment. A faint scratching greeted her before the man came into view. All she saw was the back of his white muscle shirt and a pair of distressed, faded jeans as he continued sanding down the wall in the back of the barn without even noticing her presence.

  Ana stood in the doorway, staring at all the work he had done so far. All the rotted boards in the barn had been replaced, and he was sanding down the salvageable ones in preparation for a fresh coat of paint. It was a project her father had sworn he was going to get to, but it was more fun to tinker on tractors and build benches than to replace boards for a barn that only housed farm equipment.

  Ana coughed, but he didn’t turn. It took her a minute to realize he had headphones on—or rather, earbuds—which was why he was so oblivious to her presence. A bit annoyed, she decided to stand there until he turned and noticed her. And while she waited, she looked him up and down like a piece of meat.

  Shaggy blond hair, toned biceps, a cute butt in loose jeans. Rugged—she could only imagine that was what his face looked like. Handsome, probably. Nothing that would knock her socks off, though, especially since she was so guarded against men. Not long ago, a handsome face would have been enough. Not anymore.

  The minutes ticked on, and the man was no more aware of her than he had been when she stepped inside. While patience was normally one of Ana’s virtues, it was getting late, and she was weary from her drive. Best to get this introduction over so she could get to bed and start her new life bright and early the next day.

  She sighed as she uncrossed her arms and went to tap on the stranger’s shoulder. In her haste, she didn’t see the rock right in her path, and ended up tripping over it and landing hard on the floor. Maternal instincts kicked in faster than she could have imagined, and she braced herself with her forearms to protect her stomach.

  The fall must have gotten the stranger’s attention, because before Ana knew it, strong hands were pulling her back up onto her feet. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her a second time when she met the man’s gaze. The bluest eyes she had ever seen were staring back at her. It was barely tempered by the realization that they weren’t his real eyes—they were colored contact lenses. It didn’t matter. This was possibly the most handsome man she had ever seen.

  Are you all right?” His concern was genuine. He dusted the bits of straw from her forearms and examined the scrapes from the fall. All Ana could do was stare at him speechless as he walked over to the corner of the barn where his things were strewn and returned with a bottle of water to wash her wounds clean.

  I’m fine.” She jerked away from him the second the water hit her skin, though she hadn’t meant for her reaction to be so harsh. “I’m Ana White, Molly’s elder daughter. I just got in from New York a little while ago, and she said I should come introduce myself before I went to bed. So here I am.” She outstretched her hand awkwardly, trying to get the butterflies fluttering inside her stomach settled.

  New York.” He repeated the words, seemingly lost in thought. “My name is Ryan Black. Nice to meet you.” He shook her hand with a smile, recovering.

  Ryan Black.” The name sounded disingenuous, especially how it mirrored her own. “What brings you to the big little city of Bandera?”

  Just passing through.” He capped the bottle of water, his eyes never leaving hers. His gaze was so intense that it made Ana shift uncomfortably. There was nothing savage or dangerous about it, more like an interest bordering on heat. A heat she was trying desperately not to reciprocate.

  Passing through from where?” She blinked a few times, trying to break the intimate connection between them. Couldn’t he see that she was pregnant? Probably not. Her baby bump still wasn’t showing very well. But what did it matter anyway? This man was nothing to her. A stranger on her parents’ ranch. An imposer.

  I decided to take some time off from my life to travel around the country.”

  Like this?” She gestured toward the pallet Ryan had made himself in the corner of the barn with a sleeping bag. The guy must be as broke as a joke if this was the way he preferred to travel.

  He shrugged. “It’s easy, it’s inexpensive, and I get to work with my hands.” He brought his hands up, looking down at them. Big, strong hands, covered in wood shavings from the sandpaper.

  The smell in the barn was in
toxicating, the way he’d been working with the wood. It reminded Ana of all the times she’d come in here and happened upon her father building a bench or constructing something for one of the neighbors. It reminded her that she was safe here. But this wasn’t the man to protect her, and though she felt warm toward him, they had just met. She was reacting to what she saw, what she smelled, not to some bum just trying to get by.

  Well, it looks like you’re doing a good job.” Her eyes darted around the barn, assessing his work again. It was far easier than looking him in the eyes.

  I hope your mother is pleased with it.” He wiped the dirt from his hands onto his jeans. “She’s a wonderful woman, and she makes the best pot roast. I’d sand a thousand barns for some more of that.”

  Ana couldn’t help but grin. She had missed her mother’s pot roast as well, but she hadn’t even remembered it until Ryan brought it up. Maybe he was genuine after all. He seemed like a nice enough guy.

  Well, Ryan, as I said, I just wanted to introduce myself. Now that I’ve done that, I think I’ll be off to bed. I had a long drive, and I’m tired.” She yawned.

  You should go inside and put some Neosporin on that.” He nodded at her arms. Ana had already forgotten she had injured herself.

  She lifted her arms, glancing at the scrapes, which were already beginning to dry and scab. “Yeah.”

  I’m sorry I couldn’t catch you.”

  You didn’t even know I was there.”

  I know, but I’m still sorry.”

  She stared at him like he was an anomaly. There was something about the man that captivated her. How strange that he was traveling on his own, going from ranch to ranch looking for work in exchange for room and board. Maybe in the following days, she’d find out more about him. He would be staying for another week. They’d cross paths again.

  Well, good night, Ryan Black.”

  Sleep sweet, Ana White.”

  Ana spun on her heels and continued back toward the house, her heart drumming in her chest. She could feel Ryan’s eyes on her as she walked away. He was probably thinking what all men thought when they met a woman they found attractive, and she wanted none of that. That was how she had gotten here in the first place.