Greshmere

by Scott Wittenburg

  “Glad to hear that, because I was half expecting you to say that I should feel remorse or something like that.”

  “No, I didn’t expect it. But everybody is different and you never know. At any rate, most folks feel happy because they realize that they have become alive again and in a sense have cheated death. Has that occurred to you yet?”

  “Not until you mentioned it. But I don’t really feel that way, either. I guess because I don’t know what my life will be like now. Maybe living again won’t necessarily be a good thing, you know?”

  “But on that point you are dead wrong, Gresh—pardon the pun. You have been given life, and life is always a good thing. Do you believe that?”

  “I don’t know, I guess so. But something tells me that life isn’t always good for everybody. Somehow I know that, I’m not sure how. Isn’t that true?”

  “It may have been true before, but it isn’t now.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that you are not really quite where you think you are now, Gresh. At least, not in the spiritual sense.”

  “What are you saying? I’m on earth, you already told me so.”

  “Yes, you are. But things are different. You are a bird. You are born again. Your life will always be good. Gresh, you are in heaven.”

  “Heaven?”

  “Heaven. You do recall that word, don’t you?”

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  “And that is exactly why you are here now, Gresh. Your soul is now in God’s kingdom.”

  Greshmere paused before speaking. This was so overwhelming that he wasn’t sure what to say or think. Heaven. This is heaven? How could that be?

  “So you’re saying that heaven is on earth?”

  “Bingo!”

  “But I always heard the opposite—that hell was on earth. And heaven was, well, somewhere else, like up in the sky—you know.”

  “Aha, so some of this is starting to come back to you, eh?”

  Greshmere realized that he was right. Otherwise, how else could he have formed these thoughts?

  “I guess so. But I just want you to know that I am scared now, Shnark. I mean it’s all so confusing!”

  “Again, this is perfectly normal, Gresh. Don’t worry. This is a bit much to swallow all at once. Like I said before, I’ve been there, too! But don’t fret; it will all make sense eventually. I promise you.”

  “So how many are there like us? Or are you saying that every bird I see now is in the same situation as we are?”

  Shnark looked him directly in the eye. “I can conclusively say no to that. There are birds that are simply birds and there are birds that are, as you put it, in the same situation as you and I are. As for numbers, I have no idea. It’s a big world. And it has been around for a long time.”

  “So how can we tell the difference from one another?” Greshmere said.

  “There really is only one way, and that is to do exactly as we are doing. If you see a bird, try to communicate with it through your thoughts. If he or she is one of us, you may get a response. Then you’ll know.”

  “What do you mean, I may get a response?”

  “I mean just that. Not everybody is sociable here, or one may simply prefer not to speak to you for one reason or another. We are all different, after all. The important thing is to not take it personally if someone doesn’t acknowledge you.”

  Greshmere fell silent and stared out at the ocean. He was trying to wrap his head around all of this but it wasn’t happening. It just seemed so crazy! Here he was on earth, once a human but now a bird, talking to a bird about a world of birds that are real birds and birds that are for lack of a better word, souls. Or spirits. A thought suddenly occurred to him.

  “How long will I be like this?”

  “You mean a bird?”

  “Not just a bird, but—well, alive. Or whatever I am.”

  Shnark nodded. “Oh, you want to know if you will exist forever—if you are immortal. I’m afraid I can’t answer that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because quite frankly I don’t know. Only God knows the answer to that. I only know what I’ve been told. And my job is to pass that information along to you. What I can tell you is this: you are not going to pass away as long as you are here—not by random causes, anyway. In other words, if you were to suddenly get run over by a truck or attacked by a cat, you will not perish. You will always escape, fully intact. You are for all intents and purposes, invincible!”

  “So what is the purpose to all of this, then? It seems that heaven has always been considered the hereafter, a place where one’s soul will live forever. But you’re telling me that you aren’t really sure that is the case. If that’s true, what is the purpose for being in this place you are calling heaven in the first place?”

  “Time for an update, Greshmere: heaven is pretty much what you make it. Period. This is your concept of heaven—so it will be what you want it to be. That is all you need to be concerned with. Unfortunately, one doesn’t learn this until he or she gets in the position we now find ourselves in. It is one of death’s little surprises, so to speak. Humans are yet to get it right.”

  “So what am I supposed to do?”

  “You have just asked the sixty-four thousand dollar question, Greshmere! You are to simply be yourself. Explore. Live your life, enjoy your life. Enjoy watching others live their lives. Go where you want to go. Do what you want to do. You will harm nobody and you will learn so much! The only stipulation is to avoid direct human interaction. Observe them, but don’t deliberately involve yourself with them physically. There is much joy here, Greshmere, and you are in a position to do practically anything your little heart desires! You possess no evil thoughts, no ulterior motives, no malice toward others. That is why you are here.”

  Greshmere thought about what he was saying and it was starting to sink in. At least to some degree. He recalled the absolute joy and exultation he experienced while soaring high in the sky, not a care in the world. He realized that he indeed had no cares now. No concerns, no responsibilities. Because he was now in essence reborn with a “clean slate.” Innocent and pure, just like a newborn baby. He was free to do anything he wanted to do with no fear of dying. He recalled how his wings had thrashed against the chimney while plummeting in the darkness, yet he had felt no pain. Was he unable to feel pain, too?

  He looked over at Shnarker. “What about pain? And for that matter, hunger and thirst? I don’t feel tired, either! I feel like I could go on forever. Are you saying—”

  “Precisely. You are a superbird, Greshmere! You have no need for food or water, nor will you ever feel pain or fatigue. You will however need to sleep. You will sleep as you see fit, but not out of tiredness. You will sleep to get your thoughts together and to dream. Sleep and dreams are very important. This is the natural state of things.”

  This was starting to excite him now! Here was a great big world at his disposal just waiting for him to explore! He could fly anywhere he wanted without even having to break for food or rest. If he wanted to go to Europe, right this moment, he could simply take off and go! It seemed too good to be true.

  “Let me get this straight, Shnark. You’re basically saying that the entire world is at my feet. That if I want to fly to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower, I could just fly there right now and not have to worry about anything happening along the way?”

  “Correct, but you’d be wise to steer clear of high wind and storms. You may be invincible, but you also weigh no more than a few ounces! Air travel is one of the best perks of being a bird, to borrow from contemporary colloquialisms. I just returned from South America last week, in fact. I’ve been flying to every continent on a regular basis for quite some time, always choosing a new and different place. I hope to see all of the world some day!”

  “How long have you been here, Shnarker, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “You won’t believe me.”

  “Try me.”

 
“Well, let’s see. I’ve been here for six hundred ninety-six years, seven months and twenty-two days.”

  “No way!”

  “Yes way,” Shnarker replied.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Time perception is very sharp for us now. In five years and a month, you will know exactly how long you’ve been here to the day, hour and minute. It goes with the territory, you might say.“

  “But you’ve been here so long! You’ve seen all of the changes that have gone on in history over a huge period of time! What has that been like?”

  “Wonderful! I’ve experienced so many things—kings being crowned, castles being built, the great art of the Renaissance, the Gettysburg address, the invention of electricity, the first automobiles and airplanes, and on, and on.”

  Greshmere didn’t know why these historical occurrences all sounded familiar and he wondered if he was beginning to get his memory back.

  “Why do I know about all of these events, Shnark? I thought I had no memory.”

  “Like a newborn child, you are growing stronger and getting brighter every minute. Your mind is developing so swiftly that any knowledge you once possessed is becoming accessible to you exponentially. But you mustn’t confuse knowledge with memories. Anything you were personally involved with in your former life—in any way—is no longer attainable. That includes family, friends, acquaintances, places you had been to or grown up in, possessions you owned, etc., etc. Those things are no longer relevant here in your new life. But factual data, like the geography of the United States, the sinking of the Titanic, and the square root of sixteen is all still in your head. You will grow more informed and become wiser yet never physically age a day as long as you are here. That is part of the beauty of the place.”

  “Is there any chance that I will ever learn who I was before I died, Shnark?”

  “You have just asked your second sixty-four thousand dollar question, Greshmere. But the answer is not simple, so I will try to explain.

  “You asked earlier what your purpose was here, and my answer was that you are to simply live, learn, observe and enjoy. But there is a bit more to it than that. You have another option, so to speak. One that you may or may not want to pursue. The choice will ultimately be yours.”

  “What is that, Shnark?”

  “You have the option to try to rediscover yourself—that is, to attempt to find out who you were in your former human life. I am not at liberty to say much more about it, other than to caution you that rediscovering yourself can be a negative experience. One may not be happy with what he discovers. It is a great risk and not something that many choose to do. Only those who feel the inescapable urge to discover their past actually attempt it. Furthermore, there are no guarantees that one will be successful in his quest.”

  “But why would anybody want to do that when they could just leave well enough alone and be happy? I mean, who needs the past anyway?”

  “Exactly. That is why so few go that route. But it does happen.”

  At this moment, Greshmere wanted nothing more than to enjoy his new life and take advantage of the wonderful gift he had been given. He had apparently been a good, decent, God fearing person in his former life—good enough to earn a ticket to Paradise. What more could he possibly need or ask for?

  “Would you fancy a jaunt to the City?” Shnarker suddenly asked.

  “You mean New York?”

  “Aye, the Big Apple, where else? What do ya say?”

  “I would love to!”

  “Then off we go!”

  And with that, the two birds took to the sky and headed west toward Manhattan.

  Chapter 4

  -Now-

  Greshmere and Shnarker arrived in the city thirty minutes later and followed the East River south to New York Harbor. Greshmere told Shnarker that he really wanted to visit the Statue of Liberty and wondered if he was recalling an urge he’d had in his former life.

  “Could that mean that my memories are coming back after all?” Greshmere asked as they flew over the Williamsburg Bridge.

  “As I said before, Gresh, these are not actually memories you are recalling but simply bits of knowledge that you acquired in your former life. Take New York and Long Island for example. You recognize these places now because you are aware of their existence—you once saw them on a map or in photographs at one time or another. But this awareness stems from facts, not memories.”

  “But the city looks exactly like I would expect it to look—like there haven’t been any changes since my recollections or whatever you call them. Does that mean that I died just recently?”

  “That is precisely what it means. Nobody is certain exactly how much time expires between their time of death and arrival here, but it’s usually a relatively short span.”

  “So that means that when you passed away all those centuries ago, you came back to a world that was the same as it had been when you passed?”

  “Indeed. I awoke to a world that was still suffering from the Great Famine of 1315 to 1317. I deduced that I most likely perished during that horrible period of time along with scores of other Europeans.”

  “That must have been depressing to come back to a world like that! How could you have considered it heaven?”

  “Gresh, you are forgetting what I said before. Heaven is what you make it. Although there was indeed death and despair when I came back, I dwelled upon the positive things. I was alive, I was free to do as I pleased, and I was in an excellent position to acquire wisdom. I was able to look at all of the suffering and squalor of mankind and know in my heart that these things mean little in the grand scheme of things. Being human is not at all easy—you will learn this as you continue your adventure here. When I passed away, bad weather had prevailed in Europe and destroyed nearly all of the crops. But at the same time elsewhere in the world, wonderful things were happening. This is how life goes for the human race. Highs and lows. Happiness and despair. But after you come back, you begin to realize that your human existence is merely a stepping stone; that there is life after death and nothing but goodness and contentment from that point on.”

  Listening to Shnarker caused Greshmere to marvel at how long the ancient starling had been around. Trying to imagine how the world had been six or seven hundred years ago boggled his mind.

  They were now within a quarter mile of Liberty Island and Greshmere spotted a throng of tourists disembarking a ferry docked along the shore. Side by side, the two birds swooped down and landed on the thin steel railing surrounding the torch in Liberty’s hand. That moment had a profound effect on Greshmere. He peered down the length of Liberty to the pedestal on which she stood and saw the broken chains lying at her feet symbolizing freedom from bondage. He knew that this feature was not visible to the others on the ground and he felt privileged.

  Shnarker said, “Isn’t she wonderful? I was here on the very day they dedicated her in 1886. This entire harbor was filled with watercraft and the shore was lined with throngs of spectators as far as the eye could see.”

  “That is amazing!”

  They remained there for a while; enjoying the view and watching the tourists explore the area. Greshmere realized that he could actually absorb the excitement of the visitors as they marveled at Liberty—causing him to swell with joy deep inside.

  A pigeon suddenly landed a few feet from Shnarker. Greshmere glanced over, wondering if he was a regular bird or like them. Shnarker continued staring out at the harbor as if the pigeon didn’t exist.

  “Why did he land here? Is he one of us?” Greshmere said.

  “No, he isn’t one of us.”

  “How can you tell so quickly?”

  “I’ve been here nearly seven hundred years, Gresh. It gets easier with time.”

  “I see,” Greshmere said. “So what about all of the other animals on earth—dogs, cats, bears and whatever? Are any of them like us?”

  “I honestly don’t know for certain—but my guess is no. I think it is G
od’s will for our souls to inhabit birds because birds are small, have the ability to fly and can carry on in the world without getting in the way of humans. Besides, it seems that we would be able to communicate with the other animals if they were as we are. I have never had success engaging in any sort of conversation with non-birds.”

  Greshmere fell silent, watching the tourists snapping pictures from the observatory in Liberty’s crown. He looked across the harbor to the southern tip of Manhattan and recalled the attack on the World Trade Center on September 11. In place of the twin towers was to be the Freedom Tower, which was already under construction. Greshmere had little doubt that he had been an American citizen in his former life. Otherwise, why else would he be so knowledgeable about her history? He wondered if he once lived here in the city and that Shnarker was wrong about his memory returning to him. How could the bird be so sure of himself?

  As quick as it came, Greshmere dismissed the notion and felt guilty for doubting Shnarker. He knew that it was wrong and he felt immense shame for his lack of faith.

  “Thank you, Shnarker, for being here for me. I don’t know what I would do, otherwise,” he said.

  “No problem, mate. My hope is that you will soon begin to feel comfortable with your new existence in this world. I know that you feel a bit lost right now and that you have doubts. That is perfectly normal, my friend, so don’t fret! The important thing is for you to feel at ease—to be able to move forward without fear or doubt. This will happen, but it may take some time.

  “I shall remain with you until sundown, and then I’ll be moving on. Do you think you’ll be okay on your own? I mean, I could stay longer if you’d like. But my past experience has taught me that the sooner I leave you to your own devices, the quicker you’ll get into the swing of things. But again, we are all different and maybe you’re not ready yet. Just say the word, and I’ll hang out with you longer.”

  Greshmere thought for a moment, stunned that Shnarker planned on abandoning him so soon. He wondered if he could make it on his own in this new way of life and realized that he wasn’t very confident about it.