A Question of Love

by Gwen Kirkwood

  She couldn’t believe it was two o’ clock in the afternoon when she wakened. She had a quick shower and changed her clothes. She ate some toast and a cup of coffee but she was desperate to get back to the hospital and see Euan for herself.

  The policeman had gone and the room was empty. Roseanne’s heart thumped with fear. She hurried to the nurses’ station and her knees almost buckled with relief when they told her he had been moved to another side ward. She found there was another patient there too and a nurse keeping checks on both of them. Surely that must be a better sign?

  `He regained consciousness briefly but the doctors are keeping him heavily sedated,’ the nurse explained. `His back and shoulders are badly bruised and he has two fractures to his left leg and two broken fingers.’

  `This is terrible.’ Roseanne groaned.

  `The broken bones will heal and the bruising will disappear in time. The doctors are more concerned about his head injury. He lost a lot of blood. He kept muttering about roses. He became agitated when we didn't understand so we had to sedate him.’

  `Er …M-my name is Roseanne. Could that be what he was saying?’

  `It might have been,’ the nurse said thoughtfully, her eyes widening. `We told him the roses were fine and gave him another injection. Rest and sleep will do him more good than anything at present.’

  Roseanne sat quietly by the bed. Euan’s eyes were closed and she marvelled at the thick, dark crescents his eyelashes made on his pale cheeks. He looked so young and vulnerable lying there in the hospital bed. Her heart filled with a strange tenderness as she watched over him. Just before seven o’clock her patience was rewarded. Euan opened his eyes. She was deeply thankful when he recognised her.

  `Roseanne…?’ he murmured. `Where are we?’

  `In hospital,’ Roseanne said huskily and her eyes filled with tears. She never cried but she felt weak with relief. She brushed the tears away and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. `Thank God you’ve regained consciousness, Euan.’ She was holding his right hand in both of hers. She felt a faint pressure as he tried to squeeze her fingers. Perspiration began to coat his forehead though and the nurse asked her to move away. `It’s the pain and the medication,’ she said gently. `We shall keep him sedated until it eases. It is going to take some time but he is going to be all right.’

  `You’re sure?’

  `Well the doctors are much happier about him now than when he was first brought in.’ Roseanne gave her a wobbly smile. She bent to kiss Euan again.

  `I shall be close by,’ she whispered. ’Sleep now.’

  Later Roseanne telephoned Mr K to give him the latest report.

  `Hey, Roseanne, are you crying? I haven’t known you to weep since you were six years old, lassie. You mustn't blame yourself. Euan is a man. His mother says he's always had a mind of his own. He would know what he was doing.’

  `Oh Uncle K he could have been killed. I feel so guilty. He looks so helpless and defenceless lying there in hospital.’

  `Ah lassie, there’s no need to feel guilty.’ He smiled to himself in spite of her distressing news. Roseanne had always called him Uncle K until she came to work at Kershaw’s, then she had decided she must address him as Mr K like the rest of his staff. She had never wanted any special treatment but he had missed her affectionate address.

  `Shall I give you the telephone number of the hospital? I’m sure Euan’s mother will want to telephone to get first hand news from the doctor. I am no relation so they will not tell me any details.’

  `Aye, I’ll write it down.’ He lowered his voice. `I reckon she might decide to come over to see him.’

  `Oh dear…`’

  `Don’t fret, Roseanne. She’s been talking about coming back with me for a holiday anyway. Between ourselves lassie, I’m ready for home. If Aileen will come with me now it would suit me fine. She’s keeping better than I expected. She says she feels better than she has done for years so I think it might be the best thing all round if we can get a flight.’

  ***

  As soon as he had fully regained his senses, and the pain had abated somewhat, Euan began pestering the nurses, wanting to get out of hospital.

  `Didn't you say he was supposed to be on holiday for three months’` one of them grumbled.

  `He is,’ Roseanne assured her, `and he has finished the work he was doing for our firm. The new system is working splendidly so he has no worries there.` She had been relieved when she discovered the new computer system at Kershaw & Co allowed her to access some of her work from Ashburn once she had explained to Louise what she needed her to do.

  `He keeps saying he has to get out of here because he's wasting precious time and he only has another week. He says it will be too late after that. The only time he calms down is when you come in to visit.’

  `I'm sorry,’ Roseanne apologised. `I come as often as I can but our boss is still away in Australia so I need to keep going back to supervise the business. That shouldn't worry Euan though.’

  `Well something is bothering him,’ the nurse insisted. `He was muttering about the girl he wanted to marry going off with another man.’

  `I see,’ Roseanne said slowly, frowning. `I'm afraid I don't know anything about that but I haven't known him very long.’

  `Oh?’ The nurse looked surprised. `We thought he meant you, though I must say you don't look the sort who would take advantage and go off with somebody else while a man is ill.’

  `No, he couldn't have meant me,’ Roseanne said puzzled. `His mother and Uncle are returning from Australia soon so perhaps that will cheer him up a bit. I shall not be here so often then.’

  `He's a lot easier managed when you've been in to see him,’ the nurse said. `Maybe he's just missing not having his friends over here.’

  `Maybe,’ Roseanne murmured but she had seen how all the nurses tumbled over themselves to attend to him and how they bloomed whenever he gave them a smile

  Euan's back and shoulders were still badly bruised and the doctors had told him he was lucky not to have a broken shoulder and more serious injuries to his spine so Roseanne had some sympathy for him over that.

  Everyone at Kershaw & Co did their best to cooperate. They understood how difficult it was for Roseanne to take Mr K's place during his absence as well as finding time to spend with his nephew down in the Borders, especially when he was a stranger in an unfamiliar country. Then there was her new flat to sort out before Robinia arrived. Roseanne drove down to Ashburn as soon as she could get away on Friday, planning to stay until Monday morning. She wanted to make the most of the weekend and spend the time with Euan. He had a room of his own again and the staff were very lenient over visiting times. Roseanne was surprised to find they had so many things in common now they had plenty of time and opportunity to talk on neutral ground, but they still enjoyed a stimulating discussion now and then. Euan was restless. He protested whenever she had to leave. He always pleaded for what he called a proper kiss from her, even if she was only leaving for a short time while he had his meals and medication.

  `You're taking advantage of my soft heart,’ Roseanne teased. `You know I'm only complying to your demands because I still feel guilty about you getting hurt.’

  `Oh God, that’s the last thing I want,’ he groaned, his brow darkening. `I’d rather you never came at all than come because you feel guilty, especially when you have no cause to feel that way.’

  `I see,’ Roseanne said uncertainly. `Well if you’d rather I didn’t come…’

  `Of course I don’t mean that. I do want you to come, but I don’t want you to visit me because it eases you conscience, Roseanne. `I want you to come because it is what you want to do. Preferably because you can’t survive without seeing me…?’ He said his tone lightening, teasing a little but there was a strangely vulnerable look in his eyes and Roseanne’s heart lurched with tenderness.

  `Of course I want to come and see you. In fact I have enjoyed our discussions while you have been in here. I find it interesting hearing a
bout the projects you’ve handled and the countries you’ve visited.’

  `And there was I thinking you were at last succumbing to my charms,’ Euan said with a grin.

  `All the nurses are doing enough of that without me adding to the list,’ Roseanne quipped. Euan knew he couldn’t tell her how badly he missed her company. He always waited impatiently for her return.

  `I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you spending your free time with me, Roseanne,’ he said. He repeated this in many different ways so she knew he was sincere, but she also knew he was getting better when he began to hold her close with his good arm so that he could prolong each kiss far longer than any casual leave taking.

  He had asked for his laptop. The doctors refused at first but they realised he was bored and that was a sign of recovery so they relented on condition he did not use it for lengthy periods and aggravate the head aches which were still causing some concern.

  `I promise not to be a pest but I want to keep in touch with you every single day, Roseanne? Can I email you if I restrict myself to one a day?’

  `Of course you can,’ Roseanne responded readily, pleased that he seemed to miss her and that he wanted to keep in daily contact. `You will be discreet though?’ she prompted, remembering their emails would all go through the central computer now, even though she doubted if Simon Kershaw would bother to read any of them.

  `I'll try.’ He grinned up at her, knowing they were both recalling the first time he had read her email. His smile faded. She had been writing to the unknown Rob. He'd almost forgotten about him and about the time passing. Was he there, sharing the flat now? Were they sharing her bed? He didn’t want to think about that. If they didn’t mention him he could block the fellow out of his mind, especially since Roseanne was still spending every weekend with him. He was thankful for that.

  ***

  Simon Kershaw lost no time in booking flights back to the UK when the doctors eventually agreed his sister was fit to travel. He visited Euan at the first opportunity in the local hospital and told him his mother would visit as soon as she had recovered from the journey. Euan was pleased to see him.

  `I think they may let me out of this place as soon as my mother is able to visit. I shall tell them there is someone at home to look after me – though really I should be looking after her. How is she really, Uncle Simon? Has she fully recovered from her operation?’

  `The doctors gave her the all clear,’ Simon told him, `and she says she feels better than she has felt for years. It’s the travelling and she’s been anxious about you so it’s tired her out. Anyway I’m sure Roseanne will have been looking after you. She feels guilty for letting you get injured.’ Euan frowned.

  `I don’t want her to visit me because she feels guilty,’ Euan snapped, frowning. `Besides my injuries were not her fault,’ he added more calmly.

  `I don’t think they’ll allow you home anyway until they’re sure you’re right in the head, laddie.’ Euan grinned at his uncle’s turn of phrase.

  `Some people might think I’ve never been right in the head.’ He sobered. `The headaches are not as severe now, or as often. So long as I don’t do too much bending I think I can cope with them.’

  `Well your mother reckons you usually get your own way, so I expect you’ll pester these pretty nurses until they let you out. I need to get back up to the factory and see what’s going on and relieve Roseanne a bit, give her a bit of time off to get settled into her new flat.’

  Roseanne felt she ought not to intrude now Euan’s uncle and mother had arrived back at Ashburn and were visiting him every day. He was dismayed when he realised she would not be coming down the following weekend as usual. His spirits plummeted. While he was ill and sedated he had lost track of time but now he faced facts. The unknown Rob must certainly be living at the flat by now. No doubt he was glad Roseanne no longer needed to spend her precious free time visiting her employer's nephew. Euan was aware Roseanne still blamed herself for his injuries despite his protests. He had taken advantage of her feelings to make the most of her company. He had lived for the weekends when she would be back to see him and she had answered all his emails once he got his computer at the hospital but he felt he must face the fact that guilt was probably the only emotion she had felt where he was concerned. Obviously it was the reason she had spent her precious weekends visiting him, especially since he knew no one else in Scotland. If her feelings had been deeper she would not have stayed away as soon as he had his mother and Uncle to visit.

  Euan was enjoying getting to know his uncle and learning more about the workings of the meat processing operations but he was bored and despondent now he could no longer look forward to Roseanne’s visits.

  `The doctor says Euan has had a set-back since we arrived,’ Simon Kershaw told Roseanne. `We thought it would help him, having his mother to visit every afternoon but she says he seems moody and withdrawn and the doctors think it is too soon to discharge him in case his head injuries are more severe than they thought.’

  `Are they sure he hasn't developed an infection in one of his wounds? Has his head injury healed properly?’

  `I reckon the doctors will know about all that. They think he's been spending too much time on his computer. He seems to be in contact with colleagues all over the globe.’

  `I suppose he misses his own friends,’ Roseanne said, chewing her lower lip. She longed to go down and see him for herself but she owed her loyalty to Robinia too. She was now installed at the flat but she had been restless ever since she arrived. Roseanne knew her sister had never liked being left alone in one place and she felt torn between her sister and Euan and her work. She had no excuse for spending weekends at Ashburn now though. Robinia was used to having plenty of people around her and she was not used to staying in one place for long. Even so Roseanne had a feeling there was more than that affecting her sister’s spirits and she wondered if she was regretting tying up her money in the new flat and giving up her job to take over one of their mother’s boutiques and start making her own name in the retail world. Her job had meant she was continually on the move and meeting new people. Giving it all up meant a big change to her lifestyle. Their mother had thought they should spend some time together before Robinia took over the boutique but Roseanne was beginning to think the sooner she had something to occupy her time and energy the better.

  `There'll be no need for you to keep rushing down to Ashburn now that the Hunk's' mother has arrived,’ Robinia said with satisfaction when she heard Mr K and his sister had returned from Australia.

  `I’m not sure Mrs Kennedy would welcome me there anyway,’ Roseanne said. `I can’t blame her if she holds me responsible for Euan’s injuries.’

  `Don’t be silly, Ros,’ Robinia said briskly. `No one can blame you. Euan Kennedy most definitely has a mind of his own from what you tell me. Now cheer up. We’ll spend your first free Saturday shopping together and maybe have Sunday afternoon with our Mother.` Roseanne smiled in response to her sister’s suggestions but inwardly her spirits felt unusually low and she knew it was the prospect of not knowing if, or when, she would see Euan again. Simon Kershaw had told her his mother visited the hospital every afternoon but she had refused to drive Euan’s sports car. She had already bought a small car of her own so that she could be independent and drive herself to the shops or the hospital when it suited her.

  `It sounds as though she's planning to stay indefinitely,’ Robinia said with satisfaction when Roseanne told her the news. `Maybe she’ll settle in this country.’

  Mr K was happy to be back in harness but he divided his time between the factory and his sister at Ashburn for the first couple of weeks. He had known both Robinia and Roseanne since they were children, so he guessed Roseanne would feel she should spend some time with her restless sibling. He knew Robinia had always made her base with her mother in the past if she was in Britain for any length of time, but Roseanne had told him they had bought the new flat between them and Robinia had moved all her per
sonal possessions from her mother’s down to the flat. It seemed she was intending to make her home permanently with Roseanne. Simon Kershaw frowned at that prospect, although it was none of his business. He knew the two of them had always been close in spite of the differences in their temperaments, but he knew better than anyone how much Roseanne valued her own space and privacy. He wondered how they would get on living together and whether Robinia would be bored staying in a small town, even if she did travel to Edinburgh every day. Roseanne also wondered. She spent as much time at the flat as she could but she sensed that her sister was not happy. When questioned she replied sharply.

  `I’ve scarcely seen you, what with your work and the time you've spent visiting your precious hunk. When will he be well enough for us to try some of our old tricks on him?’

  `I don’t think we should try anything when he has been so ill,’ Roseanne said quickly. Robinia looked up at her swift response. She eyed her sister thoughtfully. She knew Roseanne well enough to realise Euan Kennedy must be more special than her usual male friends. She had never been so attentive, or so protective, with anyone before. Rob was beginning to suspect it was more than guilt, or a sense of responsibility, which made her sister so concerned and attentive. This must be a man who mattered. Robinia couldn't remember her elder sister ever being deeply attached to anyone before, except family and Uncle K. She might say she felt responsible for Euan’s accident, she might blame herself and convince everyone she owed him a debt; but Robinia knew there was more to her sister’s feelings than that, whether Roseanne realised it yet, or not. Maybe she was seeing things more clearly herself? For the first time in her life she understood now what true love really means, and it was not all laughter and having a good time together as she had once imagined.