A Question of Love

by Gwen Kirkwood

  `What don’t you understand Roseanne? Why I should be kissing your double – or rather why should she be kissing me? Not that I minded the way she kisses,’ he teased, exaggerating wickedly.

  `Are you telling me my sister, Robinia, came to visit you in hospital while I was at work?’

  `You tell me. Somebody came and if it wasn’t you it was your double.’

  `Rob is my younger sister. We are quite alike, when we wear the same sort of clothes, but not when she’s dressed and made up for modelling. But why should she come all this way to see you and why didn’t she tell me she was coming? Did she pretend to be me?’

  `Yes. No. Well if I’m honest I jumped to conclusions as soon as she walked in the door, but she didn’t contradict me. She looks incredibly like you but I soon began to suspect. Your kisses were much more chaste at the hospital, though I know you can do better…’ His eyes were dancing and her colour deepened. `Did you know you have promised to go with me to London to meet two of my colleagues?’

  `London? You have never mentioned that to me.’

  `I mentioned it on Tuesday and you promised to advise me.’

  `I did?’ Roseanne frowned. `Let me go, Euan.` Her soft mouth had tightened. `I need to telephone Robinia. She’s been on edge all week. I thought it was because her friend Jonathon has gone to London. I know this relationship is serious for her because she’s promised to introduce him to me and Mum and she had him staying at the flat while I was away. We never keep secrets from each other - not usually.’

  `I’ll let you go on condition you bring the phone here. I need reassurance.’

  `You? Need reassurance? Euan Kennedy I never met any man who needed less reassurance…’

  `It’s true. I need to know you haven’t been playing tricks to get rid of me - like you did with Lord Gallaby’s manager,’ Roseanne stared at him, her cheeks colouring.

  `Who told you about that?’

  `Jock McInyre mentioned it and Uncle Simon said it was because you considered him a nuisance. I wondered if you considered me a nuisance too and that’s why you sent your sister.’

  `I admit it was not very nice of us and Robinia did go a bit too far, but we were inexperienced teenagers then and she could always deal with unwanted suitors better than I could. I’m a big girl now. You’d be in no doubt if I thought you were a nuisance.’

  `So prove I’m making a bit of headway then and give me another kiss to reassure me before you telephone?` Roseanne bent closer intending to give him her usual kiss on his cheek but he turned his head and held her so she couldn’t escape, not that she wanted to escape as he gently teased her lips with the tip of his tongue. Roseanne slid off his knee and knelt in front of him. She might be chaste in public but when she was aroused she had all the fiery passion of her sister, and more. She could feel Euan’s own reaction hard against her and she pressed even closer until he drew back with a low groan of desire.

  `Dear God Roseanne, have you any idea what you do to me? I want you. I need you. I must have you even if I have to wait for the rest of my life.’ Roseanne looked into his face. The laughter had gone now and he looked both vulnerable and determined. `I’ve never met a woman I wanted for more than a week,’ he murmured, `but I know I want you for life. I promise to give you time to learn to love me as I love you. Will you give me a little hope, Roseanne? Will you let me buy you an engagement ring?’ Roseanne’s spirits soared, but she had to be sure.

  `Euan, you only think like that now because you’ve been ill? I’m the only young woman you’ve seen recently, except for the nurses. If I’m not mistaken there were at least two of them who would have liked to meet you when they were off duty.’

  `Maybe they would but I was too busy longing for Fridays, and your visits, to notice anyone else. I’ve been through hell this week wondering if you had sent your sister down to get rid of me.’

  `Is that why you didn’t get in touch or email me? Were you sulking?’

  `Sulking? God no, that’s not my style. But then, I didn’t think sitting there fretting over a woman was my style either. It seems I was wrong. I was afraid to email you in case you really did want to be rid of me now I’m nearly recovered and you don’t need to feel guilty anymore.’

  `Of course I don’t want rid of you. I’ll bring that phone across and see what my sister has been playing at, but you’ll have to release me first.’

  `Give me one more kiss and then I’ll let you go as far as the telephone.’

  It was quite a while later before Roseanne brought the phone as near to him as the cord would allow. She pressed the speaker phone. Robinia answered straight away and the disappointment in her tone was obvious.

  `Oh it’s you, Ros. Did you have a good journey?’ she asked flatly.

  `I did. Sorry to disappoint you, Rob. I take it Jonathon is not back yet?’

  `No. I thought it would be him phoning to say the trains are running late or he’s missed a connection.’

  `Well don’t forget I want to inspect him before you do anything hasty – like getting married. Now I have a question for you dear little sister, and I want the truth. Were you down here visiting Euan?’

  `Aah.’ Rob drew in her breath. `So he did guess? I should have told you about that.’ She sighed heavily. `I wanted to do some inspecting of my own before you marry Euan.’ Roseanne gasped; her eyes widened and colour flamed in her cheeks. She glanced at Euan. He was watching her intently as he listened.

  `I never gave you the impression that I… That we… That I was considering getting married to anyone,’ she said indignantly.

  `I know you didn’t, Ros, but I can tell he’s got under your skin and I’ve never known any man who could do that before. You have never been affected the way you are now. You’re so protective where he’s concerned. I guessed you didn’t want me to see him, or play any of our old games.’ Roseanne’s colour deepened and she wished she’d never put the speaker phone on for Euan to listen in but the damage was done and he was grinning widely. She looked away from him as Robinia went on. `I’ve been feeling bad about visiting him without your permission. I didn’t mean to impersonate you but when I entered his room he thought I was you and his eyes lit up like stars so I went along with the pretence, thinking he would say something when he realised. But he didn’t and I was not very well primed for swapping places so I couldn’t stay long. My visit didn’t do much good. How did he know I was not you?’

  `He knew I was supposed to be at work. Anyway he said your kisses were different.’ She arched an eyebrow in Euan’s direction and pulled a face. He grinned at her.

  `Oh did he? That’s because he’s not the man I’m going to marry.’

  `So why did you do it, Binny?’

  `Don’t call me that, Ros, even if you are mad at me. I am sorry, honestly. It was a wasted journey and I’ve been feeling bad about it all week. I’m glad you know about it now, but I don’t want you to get hurt, Ros.’

  `Hurt? Why should I get hurt?’ Ros frowned at the phone. There was a pause then Robinia went on in a rush, and Roseanne knew she was nervous.

  `Well for one thing his job takes him all over the world and his base is in America isn’t it?’

  `Y-yes.’ Roseanne said and all her own doubts came flooding back. She had wondered whether Euan would fly away as soon as he was well enough and leave her heart broken. Even if he did think he loved her and wanted to marry did she want to leave everything and everyone she loved to move to the other side of the world. Could she leave Uncle K in the lurch? Euan saw the doubts chasing each other across her expressive face and he tugged urgently at her hand.

  `I’ll never leave you,’ He whispered. ’She’s wrong…’

  `Is Euan there?’

  `Yes. He says he’ll never leave me but…’

  `Well something else has troubled me, Ros.’ She lowered her voice, unaware that the speaker phone was on at Roseanne’s end. `Even if he did ask you to go with him to America...’ Again Euan tugged her hand but this time she was list
ening to Rob. `He – he was talking about having to sell part of his company. Has he told you that?’

  `No.’ she glanced at Euan. `But he has mentioned going to London.’

  `I-I if he’s short of money… well you should make sure he’s not after your share in Uncle K’s company.’ Roseanne gasped, but Rob went on quickly. `After all you own almost half of Kershaw &Co and it has grown rapidly since you took over the business side. Even if your capital is all tied up your share is bound to be worth a lot now. Uncle K told Mother you were his greatest asset. Grandpa wouldn’t have wanted you to lose your inheritance to a man who…’

  `You’ve said enough, Robinia!’ Roseanne snapped. Her face was pale now. She saw Euan scowling. `You can’t think much of my judgment if…’

  `Oh I do, I do, Ros. Please don’t be mad at me. I trust your opinions implicitly on everything - except men. You’ve never shown serious interest in anyone before. Some men can be proper bastards.’

  `Don’t you think I know that?’ Roseanne’s tone was cold. `Is that your opinion of Euan?’

  `To tell the truth I came away more confused than ever. He seemed a nice guy as far as I could tell but he didn’t give much away.’ She strove to lighten the conversation. `If I hadn’t already fallen in love with Jonathan I think I would have found your Euan a challenge.’

  `You’d better stick to your own man little sister. Have a good weekend with him. I’ll see you on Monday but no more interfering in my life. Do you understand Robinia?’

  `Okay, okay, I’m sorry, Ros, truly I…?’ But Roseanne had already cut her off.

  `I’m sorry about that,’ Roseanne said, still frowning with annoyance as she put the phone back in place. `I shouldn’t have put it on the speaker phone.’

  `Which bit are you sorry about Roseanne?’ Euan asked unsmiling, his grey eyes bleak now.

  `Robinia coming to inspect you of course. I knew she was feeling uneasy about something.’

  `I don’t care about that. She was watching out for you. Maybe I’d do the same if I had a sister.’

  `She was interfering. I can make up my own mind about who I want for my friends,’ Roseanne said.

  `I’m sure you can,’ he said coolly. `So when were you going to tell me you are a partner in Kershaw & Co? Why did you let me make such a fool of myself over the journal entries?’

  `Oh that,’ Roseanne said, brushing it aside. `That’s not important.’

  Euan blinked. She owned a share in the company, as well as half the farm, and that was not important. There was no end to the surprises she presented.

  `Not important? Of course it’s important. You let me make a bloody fool of myself. Then you went all cold and angry on me for misjudging you. Why didn’t you tell me? Did you think like your sister? That I might be interested in your fortune?’ Roseanne sighed and closed her eyes despairingly for a moment.

  `Mr K will tell you more about the business when he knows you better.’

  `You should have told me. Why didn’t you explain instead of getting so angry with me?’

  `It is not my place to explain. It is your Uncle’s business. Anyway I was hurt that you didn’t trust me. I am proud of being honest and trustworthy but you misjudged me so badly.’

  `You must admit I had reason to wonder about the figures and I only had my Uncle’s interests at heart? Now I know him better I realise he doesn’t need me to watch out for him. I’m sorry, truly sorry Roseanne. I should have followed my instincts. They all told me you were different and as trustworthy as my own mother. The figures seemed to tell a different story. Surely you can see that?’

  `Yes, I understand why you jumped to conclusions, but you almost accused me of fraud.’

  `Oh surely not.’

  `That’s what it would have been if I’d been taking money dishonestly.’

  `Oh God.’ Euan rubbed his temple. `I made a terrible mistake by suspecting you at all, even with the figures in front of me. Can you forgive me?’

  `I think we understand each other better now.’ Euan noticed she had not said she did forgive him, and he couldn’t blame her.

  `I see…’ A reluctant smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He reached out a hand to her. She took it and he drew her back down beside him onto the settee. `You’re a very complex woman Roseanne Fairfax and I think it will take me a lifetime to discover all the facets which make up your intriguing personality. Please say that we can be engaged so that I can proclaim you are mine and begin learning all about you?’ His voice was deep and gruff with emotion. His arms tightened, holding her closer.

  Roseanne was silent, chewing her lower lip. She loved Euan but did she love him enough to give up everything she held dear and move with him to the other side of the world, especially knowing he would often be away from home, travelling to do his work, leaving her alone. Then what about Uncle K? He had grown to depend on her. How soon would they be able to train someone to take her place? Her heart sank at the thought of leaving the work she loved, and Uncle K had been like a father to her – a father and a friend. The flat! What about the flat she had so recently bought with Robinia? How could she tell her sister she wanted to sell her share in it? It was doubtful if they would get their money back if they sold again so soon, not to mention the legal fees.

  `Must I take your silence as a sign you think you will never be able to love me, as I love you?’ Euan asked quietly, loosening his hold on her and struggling to sit up so that he could look into her face.

  `Oh Euan, there will be lots of things we still have to discover, and things we shall disagree about, but I wouldn’t want to marry a man who didn’t have a mind of his own. I love you already but – but…’

  `But not enough to marry me? I promise to be patient, to wait as long as you need, my darling girl. Will you allow me to buy you an engagement ring so that I can tell the world I mean to win you.’

  `It isn’t that I don’t love you enough, Euan. The trouble is I love my family too, and my job. I shall be letting Rob down over the flat if I go with you to America, and I shall be forsaking your Uncle. And – and I can’t ask him to pay out my share of the company however short of money you are for your own business. It would cripple Kershaw and Company and he would have to sell and I would feel responsible for all the people who would lose their jobs.’ Her eyes filled with unexpected tears.

  `Hey, hey, hold on Roseanne. Who ever said anything about you giving up your job or deserting your sister or taking you to live in America? Don’t you see my darling. I am selling a quarter share of my company to each of two younger colleagues on condition that they will do most of the travelling for the next five to ten years. I want to put down roots in Scotland with you. I had a lot of time to think while I was in hospital and I know now that wherever you are that’s where I want to be. We can easily afford to leave the money in the flat and let your sister live in it for as long as she wants.’

  `You really mean you would give up your own business for me?’ Rosanne turned to him, her green eyes shining, but then she shook her head slowly.

  `I couldn’t let you do that, Euan. You built it up from nothing. You would grow to resent it and…’

  `Listen Roseanne,’ he took her gently by the shoulders. `I am only selling half my business and I shall still have the major share and control. That is why we must go to London to iron out the details. Each of my two colleagues will buy a quarter of my company, or maybe twenty per cent each, depending how committed they can afford to be. Sometimes I may have to make journeys to other countries, but most of the time I expect to be able to deal with everything from here by computer. Remember things are continually developing and already we can communicate by Skype and doctors can visit’ patients in a hospital many miles away and advise other consultants, even supervise operations.’

  `You really think it could work for you? You think we could stay together in Scotland?’

  `Not only in Scotland, but right here at Ashburn if Uncle Simon will agree to sell us his share of this house. I
remember you said if you had to choose this is where you would like to be. Well I can fix up a system so that most of your work can be done from here too. We can travel up to the factory for a few days each month if necessary. Perhaps we could use the empty flat next to Uncle Simon’s. I have a feeling he will agree to almost anything rather than part with his perfect PA.’ He grinned at her.

  `I can’t believe you would turn your life upside down for me,’ Roseanne breathed.

  `Dare I hope that is a yes, you will marry me then?’ Euan asked, with laughter in his voice. `It is not the enthusiastic reply I hoped to get when I asked a girl to marry me.’

  `You mean you’ve never asked anyone before?’ Roseanne looked him steadily in the eye.

  `No, I’ve never met anyone I wanted to marry until I met you, my darling.’

  `Well that’s all right then.’ Roseanne’s green eyes sparkled provocatively before she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion he had longed for.

  `Ah my Roseanne. I love you more with every second, and I don’t want to waste any time in making you mine.’

  `I think Mother will succeed in persuading Robinia to have a grand affair for her wedding. One last fling in her world of models and photographs, but I would like to have a quiet wedding. Would you mind if we got married here in the village church? I could ask Uncle K to give me away.’

  ‘Quiet did you say?’ Euan gave a spurt of laughter. ‘I guarantee everyone in the village will be there, and they’ll love it…’ His voice deepened. `And so shall I my darling, Roseanne.’ It was a long time before either of them got around to discussing wedding plans.

  If you enjoyed A Question of Love you might be interested in Better Days to Come by Jenny Telfer Chaplin, also published by Endeavour Press.

  Extract from Better Days to Come by Jenny Telfer Chaplin

  ONE

  Greenock, Friday April 7, 1820