Derailed

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “You can’t just sit here if you aren’t ordering anything.”

  “Who says he can’t? It’s not like I care.” Gail suddenly joined our conversation, placing a Coke down in front of Ben.

  “Don’t mind me. I’ll just read and maybe enjoy the view.”

  I did my best to ignore him, but I couldn’t help glancing over every once and a while. Each time, he smiled, letting me know that he’d caught me.

  Before I knew it, he was back at the counter. “Well, time to go back to work. Nice staying away from you today. See you around.” He grinned before disappearing through the door.

  ***

  I decided to do some unpacking before going over to Kelly’s for dinner. I had brought most of my clothes with me and a lot of shoes, so it was no easy task. It felt funny to stock the shelves of my old closet again.

  While hanging up some skirts, I noticed an old shoe box on the top shelf. I pulled over my desk chair and climbed up so I could reach it.

  I knew exactly what was in the box. With a mix of excitement and dread, I settled onto the plush, tan carpet. Opening the lid caused an avalanche of photographs, letters, movie stubs, and little trinkets to fall into my lap. Looking at the lid of the box again, I ran my hands over the fancy script spelling out Ben’s name. I smiled thinking about how girly I used to be.

  I picked up one of the folded letters, my name written in Ben’s barely legible handwriting. The letter was short, just like all the ones he used to slip in my backpack and locker back then, but they always did the trick.

  I can’t wait to see you tonight, and you’re killing me with the surprise thing. I love you, my little spitfire.

  Spitfire—I tried to remember when he’d started calling me that. Well, he never just called me spitfire, it was always preceded with “my.” Ben was a little possessive like that. Like how he hung around Marney’s so much. In the beginning, I’d pretended that it bothered me, but it never did. I liked how important it made me feel. I never felt safer then when I was tucked in his arms.

  I pulled out a ticket stub from our high school production of the Wizard of Oz. Kelly was Dorothy, her first starring role. I’d designed and painted most of the sets, spending almost every afternoon working on them for over a month. I frowned at the worn paper. Ben stood me up that night. He’d been out getting high with his friends and forgot. I ended up watching the play with Jake of all people. I think the only thing Jake and I ever agreed on was that Ben needed to lay off the drugs.

  For some reason, Jake and I never got along. He was only one year below us in school, and he was actually the same age as me. I was young for my grade. The animosity between us only got worse when Ben asked me out sophomore year. I think Jake was worried I’d take up all of Ben’s time—and he was partially right. We spent a lot of time together, but he also spent time with his band and his other friends.

  Lost in the nostalgia, I hadn’t realized how late it was getting. I had about fifteen minutes to get over to Kelly’s. Changing into a strapless sundress that had caught my eye during the unpacking process, I grabbed my keys and phone before heading out the door. I skipped past my car, opting to walk the few blocks, even if it meant being a little late. I hardly ever drove in the city and had grown used to walking most places.

  “Hey, you made it.” Kelly smiled as she opened the door.

  “Listen, I’m sorry about last night.”

  “It’s okay. Besides, we’ll be even after tonight.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Gavin’s out back with Tom.” She looked away, trying to stifle a laugh.

  “What? So this is some kind of set up?”

  “It’s all Tom’s idea. I already told you he’s convinced the two of you are perfect for each other, and the impression you made on Gavin doesn’t help.”

  “Impression?”

  “I told you he can’t stop talking about you.”

  I sighed. “Poor guy. That’s what happens when new girls only show up in town every five years.”

  She laughed. “He was going to call and ask you out, but Tom convinced him to wait and come here instead.”

  “Because Tom knew what my answer would be?”

  “Exactly.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Remind me again why you want to marry him?”

  “Very funny. He means well.” She pursed her lips.

  I laughed. “Fine, but I’ll be careful not to worry you again so he can’t guilt me into things.”

  “See, you learned an important lesson.”

  I laughed again lightly and finally took the time to look around.

  “I love your place. You’ve really made it your own.” She’d sprinkled the otherwise traditional kitchen with green accents anywhere she could, from the seat cushions to her Kitchen Aid mixer.

  Kelly beamed. “Thanks! I’ll have to give you the grand tour later, but I think the kitchen is my favorite room anyway.”

  I followed her out to the deck where Tom and Gavin stood at the grill, each holding a beer.

  Gavin’s face lit up when he saw me. “Hey, Molly, it’s great to see you again.”

  “Hi, Gavin.”

  “So, how have you been?”

  “You do realize we just saw each other two days ago, right?”

  “Hey, a lot can happen in a few days. Like, didn’t you get a job?”

  “It sounds like you are already well informed about my time.” I bit down the stalker comment that wanted to come out.

  “Not one for small talk, I see. You really make a man work for it, huh?”

  I shrugged. “Just saying.” I took a seat at the table, snagging a chip and dipping it in salsa.

  “You didn’t ask, but my past few days have been good.” He sat down next to me.

  “Oh?” He had more nerve than I expected.

  “Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about this girl I met and wondering if she’d let me take her out.”

  I groaned to myself. Did he really have to do this so early in the evening when I couldn’t just slip away? I certainly wasn’t going to make it easy on him.

  “Good luck with the girl. You’ll have to let me know how it goes next time I see you.”

  “And when will the next time I see you be?” He drowned a chip in the salsa.

  “I’m not sure. I guess whenever Tom and Kelly decide to get us all together.”

  “And what if I don’t want to wait that long?” He abandoned his chip to look at me.

  “Hey, be careful. That girl you like might think there is something going on with us the way you’re talking. There’s no reason to give the wrong impression.”

  “There’s every reason to give that impression.”

  “Okay, I didn’t want to have to say it outright, but clearly you’re not getting the hint—” I started to explain.

  “The hint?” He smiled sheepishly.

  “I’m not ready to date.” I tried to be diplomatic.

  “When do you expect to be ready?”

  “Not anytime soon.”

  “Okay, then how about a non-date?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “A casual dinner between friends. I’ll even let you pay your half if you want.” He tried to salvage the original chip with a new one. He was clearly the type who didn’t give up easily.

  “So going Dutch somehow makes it a non-date? And why would paying for my own dinner make it more appealing?” I would definitely be paying my own way if we went out, but it was fun making it hard on him.

  “Okay, so I’ll treat. Plus, I promise to keep my hands to myself and to try my best to avoid staring at you longingly, although I can’t guarantee the last part—especially if you look like you do tonight.”

  I looked down at my sundress, not sure what made it particularly special.

  As if he read my mind, he continued, “Although I’m sure you’d look good in a paper bag.”

  “Well that last part was a deal breaker—if you can’t promise not to look at me like that.” I tried
to crack a smile. “But I appreciate the offer.”

  I looked around for Kelly to save me, but she had disappeared inside with Tom.

  “Can’t you give a man a chance? I’m really putting myself out there.” He looked at me like a puppy begging for a bone.

  I shook my head. “Oh no, no putting this on me.”

  “At least think about it? I know you’d have fun.”

  There was something wrong about a man that big still having the ability to put on a killer puppy dog face. I didn’t think I could take much more of it. “If I say maybe, will you lay off the rest of the night?”

  “Yes,” he responded immediately. “Scout’s honor.”

  “You were a Boy Scout?”

  “Does that surprise you?” He leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.

  “No, not at all.”

  “So what do you say?”

  “Okay, I’ll think about it.”

  He grinned. “Great. Okay, so just in case you say yes, do you like Italian?”

  “I do, but really, don’t get your hopes up.”

  “Don’t worry about my hopes. Just focus on making the right decision.” The pleading was gone, replaced by over-confidence.

  I shook my head and forced a laugh. “I’m going to go find out where our hosts are.”

  Discovering Kelly sitting in the kitchen doing nothing even remotely cooking related, I gritted my teeth, ready to let her have it. That is until Tom came around the corner and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, how are things going out there? I figured you two would hit it off.”

  “What gave you the impression I wanted to date anyone? And even if I did, I don’t need you playing matchmaker.”

  “I know you’re still hurting, but maybe you just need to get back out there. Gavin’s a great guy. I think he’ll be good for you.” Tom was sounding too big-brotherly for someone who wasn’t actually related to me.

  “Kelly, a little help here?”

  “I know what you want me to say, but maybe Tom’s right. Maybe you should tell Gavin …”

  “Tell me what?” I’d have said that Gavin picked an inopportune moment to come inside, but I had a feeling he’d been listening to us the whole time.

  I tried to come up with a plausible line, but Kelly was faster. “How inexperienced she is with dating. She’s only really ever been out with two guys: Ben in high school, and then she met Adam her freshman year of college.”

  “I’m guessing Adam is the ex-fiancé, and do you mean Ben Mathews?”

  “Yeah, they dated for years growing up,” Kelly explained.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you two had been an item. Somehow, I can’t picture you dating a musician.”

  “It was high school.” Of course, I had just kissed him the night before, but no one else needed to know that particular detail.

  “So you had a bit of a wild side to you in high school then?” Gavin laughed.

  “Molly and Kelly both had a wild streak growing up. Seriously, these two always knew how to get into trouble,” Tom happily supplied.

  Kelly playfully hit Tom on the back. “We weren’t that bad. Don’t exaggerate.”

  “How many times were the two of you busted for skinny dipping? Or wait, what about the time you took Mr. Cleaver’s boat for a joyride, or when you were caught drinking on the junior high roof?”

  Gavin burst out laughing. “It doesn’t sound like you were wild as much as you were good at getting caught. Although, I have to know, do you still have a thing for skinny dipping?”

  “Kelly doesn’t, but I can’t vouch for Molly.” Tom went to the fridge to pull out more beers, passing them out.

  “You two also had such a death wish with those tracks. How many times were you caught partying out there?”

  “Are we done discussing our juvenile delinquencies?” I could laugh at most of it, but I wasn’t ready to get into a conversation about the train tracks, not if I didn’t want to end up crying.

  “Don’t you guys need to go check on the steaks?” Kelly saved me, giving me a sympathetic look before shooing the men outside. “Do you want a minute?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  “All right. Shall we?” She opened the patio door for me.

  Dinner was pleasant. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a meal that didn’t consist of random foods thrown together, let alone steak. I ate everything on my plate and then had seconds.

  “Geez, no one’s been feeding you, huh?” Tom joked, as I finished my second plate.

  “No, we aren’t all lucky enough to have men like you in our lives,” I said in a sugary sweet voice.

  Kelly glared at me, and Gavin chuckled.

  “Very funny. Kelly can tell you that I help.”

  “I bet, and the steak was great.”

  “Thank you. I’m sure you realize you’re always welcome here for dinner.”

  “Okay, you need to wait until after the wedding before you talk like you’re middle-aged parents.” I couldn’t keep a straight face.

  “I’m not going to acknowledge that comment.”

  I laughed, getting up to help clear the plates.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Kelly said quickly.

  “I don’t mind. I’ll probably get going soon, though.” I wanted to escape another invitation from Gavin. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and he was definitely attractive, but dating anyone sounded like a terrible idea. It’s not that I didn’t crave physical contact, I definitely did. I just couldn’t stomach the emotional side of things. Maybe Gavin would be more than happy to merely have a fling, but I doubted it. In the little time I had talked to him, he seemed like a man on a mission to find Ms. Right, and if anything, I was Ms. Wrong.

  “All right, but before I forget, want to go shopping for bridesmaid dresses soon?” Kelly asked.

  “Sure, sounds great.” I hoped I sounded more enthusiastic than I felt.

  “Are you sure you need to head home already?” Gavin asked.

  “Unfortunately yes, but it was great seeing all of you.”

  I brought my dishes into the kitchen and took off before Gavin could offer me a ride.

  Chapter Seven

  There was a blue Ford truck parked on the street out front when I got home. I walked down the driveway to check it out, wary about who it could be. A quick examination made its owner abundantly clear. The variety of bumper stickers advertising Mathews Fishing Tours and the Grizzlies was a dead giveaway.

  What was Ben doing at my house?

  I assumed he was around back, but decided to go inside first to drop off my bag. I took one step inside and heard the music—Snow Patrol—a song I only had on a mix CD Ben made me senior year.

  I took the stairs slowly, pausing at the door to my room. Ben looked up from his spot on my floor. “Hey, feeling nostalgic, huh?” He held up a few pictures from the box of mementoes I hadn’t returned to my closet yet.

  “What are you doing here? And how did you get in?”

  He grinned, stretching out his legs. “I used my key.”

  I walked into the room. “You have a key to my parents’ house?”

  “Yeah, you gave it to me when I came by to feed Pretzel when you went on vacation.”

  “You still have the key we gave you junior year when you came to feed the cat?”

  “You never took it back. You knew that. I used it a few times senior year when your parents went away.”

  I definitely remembered those few times. Those were the only nights we ever spent together, and we did everything but sleep.

  “So you just happened to have it with you tonight?”

  “I guess I never took it off my keychain.” He shrugged. “But I wouldn’t talk. It looks like you kept everything.” He gestured to the pile in front of him.

  “I was always sentimental.”

  “We had fun together, didn’t we?” He held up a picture of us making goofy faces. It was from a photo booth at the local movie theater, and it wa
s one of the many photos of us that used to stick out from behind my mirror.

  “Yeah, we did. But you didn’t answer me. What are you doing here?”

  “What does it look like? I’m looking through pictures.” He looked at me innocently.

  “Come on, why are you in this house?”

  “I thought I’d come by and surprise you and to make sure you weren’t swimming without me. Where were you anyhow?”

  “Over at Kelly’s.” I specifically left out who was there. I had no idea whether Ben and Gavin knew each other.

  “Have you two been catching up?”

  “A little, it’s good to see her.”

  “How about me?”

  “What about you?” I asked hesitantly.

  “Is it good to see me?” He pulled a pillow off my bed and lay down on the floor. Tired of standing, I sat down next to him.

  “I guess.”

  “You guess? You seemed really glad to see me last night.”

  “You caught me by surprise.”

  “Oh, was that all it was? So you don’t want it to happen again?” He sat up to lean on one elbow. “Are you sure about that?”

  I nodded.

  “I’m calling your bluff.” Without warning, he pushed me down, pinning my arms above my head as he hovered above me, his lips mere inches from mine. “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you. I dare you.”

  “I don’t want you to kiss me,” I said with far less enthusiasm than I intended. Kissing him was exactly what I wanted.

  “Not even a little?”

  “Nope.” I played along with the game we played in high school. We’d get into a fight, and Ben would always try to wriggle his way out of trouble by teasing me.

  “Well, that’s too bad, because you don’t have a choice.” This was a new addition to the game. He always gave me a choice, and I always chose to take him back.

  His lips met mine as he cradled my head with one hand. His other hand found my leg underneath my dress. As his tongue demanded entry, I opened up to him, reveling in the familiar taste and feel of kissing him. He tasted faintly like mint. I ran my hands down his back, slipping them under his t-shirt to feel the warmth of his skin.