Forgiving Hearts: Duncurra 1-3

by Ceci Giltenan

Niall watched Katherine’s restless sleep helplessly. She moaned, occasionally, crying out incoherently. He felt consumed by guilt. When faced with the forced marriage, he had actually welcomed the possibility that she might be weak and slow-witted. He had thought of her as a little broken doll he could put away on a shelf and ignore. He had planned to settle her in Duncurra, assign a clanswoman to tend her, and go on with his life. He only needed her money.

  But he couldn’t set this bride aside, and he didn’t want to. That was reasonable, he told himself. She was clearly bright; she’d evidently managed Cotharach. She had the skills to run a household—the most basic requirement of a wife. If he had to have one, she would do as well as any other.

  He also had to admit he felt a strong attraction for her. What man wouldn’t? He didn’t think he had ever seen a more beautiful woman, and he stirred even now, remembering her passionate response to his kisses. He relished the thought of bedding her.

  How had he let this happen? After Ceana, he had sworn he would never again allow a woman to have the power to hurt him. Words of her devotion for him slid easily off her tongue, even as she loved and freely gave herself to another man. Ceana had wanted to be “Lady MacIan” someday, so she had charmed and manipulated Niall into asking for her hand. He was a fool. After eight years, the bitterness of his pain and humiliation still remained.

  He must not confuse desire with love. He did not love Katherine and, while he doubted he could ever love any woman, he would still remain vigilant and guard his heart. Perhaps simply having no delusions of love would be enough to ensure he wouldn’t lose his heart again. Yet even now he felt a crushing pain. The thought of losing her terrified him. Surely his admiration of her skills and beauty did not justify this feeling.

  This is not love, he tried to assure himself once again. It is...appreciation. That must explain his despair. On top of being skilled and attractive, she provided the means by which he could save his clan. Only a heartless cur would feel nothing for her. Surely this was why his heart ached at the thought of losing her.

  Chapter 5

  Early in the morning, just before dawn, Katherine’s fever broke and she sweated profusely. Agnes dried her gently and changed the linens. Katherine finally slipped into a still, natural sleep. Telling Niall the worst was over, Agnes left with instructions to send for her if anything changed. Drained, Niall lay down on the bed beside Katherine and, giving in to his exhaustion, fell asleep.

  He slept for several hours, awaking late in the morning. Lying on his side, on top of the bed linens, he put his arm around Katherine. She had turned off her stomach during the night and had curled up against him with her back to his chest. The dark bluish shadows under her eyes gave witness to the ordeal of the last few days, but her pale skin felt cool and no longer looked flushed with fever. The linen towel with which the healer had covered her back the evening before, slid off when Katherine turned to her side, leaving the lacerations on her back in view. Niall breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the open lash marks looked clean and less angry.

  He had been married to her for four days and now, for the first time, he gazed on his wife’s naked form. After assuring himself she would recover, he enjoyed perusing her charms at his leisure. Her thick braid hung over her shoulder, disappearing into the cleft between her breasts. Although her arms partially shielded them from view, he could see the upper curve of the creamy mounds, barely glimpsing the edge of the pale pink nipples. He found them delightfully enticing. His gaze continued down her slender body to where his hand lay on her flat stomach. The rest of her enchanting body disappeared under the sheet. Although he thoroughly enjoyed the sight, it came at a price—he grew hard, aching for release. He knew he would have to wait a little longer until she had fully recovered, but he reveled in the thought that this lovely creature belonged to him.

  With a sigh, he rose and slipped from the room. He sought out Alan and instructed him to return to Duncurra with the rest of his guard, taking the remainder of the dowry. Only Fingal would remain behind. Niall thought it better not to send Tomas away from Katherine, so the lad would continue to be Fingal’s responsibility until they returned to the seat of the MacIans.

  Because he did not yet know whether the six other men led by Diarmad had reached Duncurra unscathed, Niall still worried about the target they posed to raiders. Cnocreidh, the large Matheson holding, bordered the western edges of MacLennan and MacIan land, and could be reached in less than half a day from both Brathanead and Duncurra. Niall believed a small contingent of MacIan warriors, known to be traveling with a treasure, would make a tempting target to the thieving bastard. For the same reason, Niall would not risk travelling to Duncurra with Katherine unless a full contingent of guards accompanied them. He sent instructions to Diarmad to return with ten men in five days time. He wasn’t sure if Katherine would be ready to travel by then, but he wanted to be prepared to leave as soon as she recovered sufficiently.

  ~ * ~

  The healer, Agnes, came to inspect her injuries shortly before noon, accompanied by a serving maid. Chivying Niall out of the room again, she woke Katherine, who felt as weak as a kitten. They helped her wash quickly, trying not to tire her, and Agnes dressed her wounds. After helping her don fresh clothing, Agnes made her drink some broth and eat a little bread. The brief activity exhausted Katherine and she fell asleep before they left. Niall stayed with her through the afternoon and evening, and slept beside her as he had the night before.

  ~ * ~

  The next several days proceeded in much the same way. Well out of the woods now, Katherine slept less and less and her strength returned steadily. Once convinced of this, Niall left for longer stretches during the day, but always returned in the evening to dine with her. During these evenings she finally learned a bit more about him and his clan. His mother had died in childbirth when he was six. His distraught father, wanting to ensure his small son had a mother, married Eithne Chisholm almost immediately. After Fingal was born, Eithne visited court frequently, preferring the intrigues there to life in the Highlands. Niall didn’t seem comfortable discussing his stepmother, so she didn’t pursue the topic further.

  Tomas visited several times a day. Niall had given strict orders not to allow Tomas to tire her by staying too long, so Fingal had the job of marshaling him. On the afternoon of the fifth day, during one of Tomas’ visits, Laird MacLennan tapped on the open chamber door as Tomas animatedly described the wooden sword Fingal had given him while the man himself stood quietly near the door.

  Malcolm cleared his throat.

  “Lady Katherine,” he said, “I think it is time for us to formally meet. I am Laird Malcolm MacLennan, your host.” He made a small bow. A tall, lean man who looked to be about two score and ten years old, Malcolm had jet black hair with grey temples and hazel green eyes. He wore a well-trimmed graying beard and mustache.

  Katherine sat in one of the two chairs by the hearth, and Tomas, suddenly quiet, crawled into her lap. “Laird MacLennan, I am very pleased to meet you. I am so sorry to have been such a nuisance.”

  “My dear,” he smiled warmly, “ye are certainly not a nuisance. I considered Laird Alastair MacIan to be my closest friend, as close as a brother, really. His family is always welcome in my home. Niall and Fingal are like nephews to me. Isn’t that right, Fingal?”

  “Aye, Laird, ye always make us most welcome here.”

  Katherine thought she heard a coolness in Fingal’s response.

  “Not still arguing with Niall, are ye?” Malcolm said, then to Katherine, “these lads.” He shook his head in mock frustration. “Have ye ever known two brothers to be so different?”

  Malcolm walked farther into the room and stood near the chair in which Katherine sat. It meant she had to look up at a rather sharp angle to see him. Katherine felt momentarily wary, but Malcolm was a close friend of Niall’s and she realized she was being silly. She answered, “I really couldn’t say, Laird. I met them for the first time barely a week ago, and it s
eems I have slept most of that time away.”

  “Of course, how could I have forgotten? Are ye feeling quite well now?”

  “Aye, Laird, thank you, Agnes is a very skilled healer.”

  “Ye see, Fingal, even Katherine agrees that Agnes knew what she was doing that night.”

  Confused by his comment, Katherine glanced at Fingal, whose expression was inscrutable. Had Fingal argued with Niall about the healer?

  Malcolm went on, “Fingal, son, ye really need to let it go. Ye see, Katherine, when ye arrived, ye had a raging fever and in your delirium, ye begged Niall to stay with ye.”

  Katherine remembered and knew she had not been delirious then. Although a bit foggy, she recalled feeling terribly ill and afraid. She hadn’t wanted Niall to leave her.

  “Agnes has been a healer for quite some time and knows anxious husbands can do more harm than good.”

  Although she respected Agnes, Katherine silently disagreed. In her experience, patients benefited from having loved ones close. Unless someone became a problem, she did not insist they leave, but many healers held Agnes’s opinion .Clearly Laird MacLennan respected her.

  “Niall very wisely stayed downstairs with me while Agnes was working. Fingal became indignant when he realized Niall had left ye and ye called out for him. But, ye see, Fingal, it was simply the delirium. Niall made the right decision in leaving Katherine in Agnes’s care to spend the evening in the hall with us.” Turning back to Katherine, he said with a laugh and a shake of his head, “Young men can have such romantic ideas. Katherine, I can tell ye are a wise, practical young woman.”

  Katherine wasn’t sure why Malcolm was telling her this, but Fingal appeared to be both angry and embarrassed. Malcolm must have been trying to smooth over whatever had happened between Niall and Fingal, but it wasn’t working very well.

  Tired of looking up and thinking to change the subject, she motioned to the other chair by the hearth, saying, “Laird, I am terribly sorry, I have been rude. Please, sit down.”

  “Oh, nay, thank ye, lass, I won’t tire ye any longer. Ye have been through a terrible ordeal.” He glanced at Tomas, who still sat on her lap. “I just wanted to ask, would ye feel up to joining us in the great hall for dinner this evening?”

  “Aye, Laird, I am feeling much better. I would be delighted to dine in the great hall tonight,” she responded.

  “Well, until later then.” He bowed, then looked pointedly at Fingal, inclining his head towards Tomas before leaving.

  When his footsteps had retreated down the hall, Fingal said, with the humor back in his voice, “I think I have just been told to remove Tomas and allow ye to rest.”

  Katherine smiled. “Tomas, why don’t you and Fingal go see if there are any dragons to slay with that fine sword of yours?”

  Tomas scooted off her lap to leave, but before he did, he asked, “Are there really dragons in the Highlands?”

  “It would seem so,” answered Fingal.

  Katherine smiled at his obvious reference to their host, but before they reached the door she said, “Fingal, I’m sure Agnes meant well the other night. Please don’t be angry with Niall over this.”

  “Don’t worry, my lady, it is past. Malcolm has indeed always been like an uncle to us. I’m sure he thought my argument with Niall meant more than it did.”

  Chapter 6

  Diarmad arrived with ten guardsmen late that afternoon. Niall was relieved to learn the dowry was secure at Duncurra. However, his second-in-command reported that while they were in Edinburgh, Matheson had raided again near the southwest border of the MacIan lands and spirited away ten head of cattle. The MacIans retaliated, but returned with fewer beasts than they lost.

  “God’s teeth, why is Matheson doing this?” swore Niall, as Malcolm entered the great room.

  “What is Matheson doing now?” he asked.

  “He can’t keep his hands off my stock. We have been plagued with his raids for months now, as if he needs any of our meager stock.”

  Malcolm answered, “Why does this surprise ye? The Mathesons have never been particular about the way they gain their wealth. Their feud with the MacIans has been long standing, has it not?”

  “The MacIans and the Mathesons have never been allies,” Niall said, “but the argument between our grandfathers about our borders was resolved without a full-scale feud. Neither laird liked the compromise, which resulted in little squabbles erupting from time to time over the years. However, until this last year, they were only a minor annoyance. Now he is relentless and the losses are crippling. Your land borders his; has he pilfered your stock?”

  “Nay,” said Malcolm. “Perhaps Laird Matheson has his eyes on expansion? Certainly one way of defeating an opponent is to critically weaken him first. Now you have sufficient funds, maybe your best option is to go on the offensive.”

  “That really isn’t an option at the moment. A full-scale feud with Matheson would critically weaken us, regardless of our current financial state. I simply can’t risk it.”

  “I’m sure ye know what is best for your clan. On a more pleasant note, I just had a nice visit with your lovely wife and Fingal. She appears to be recovering well from her ordeal. I thought perhaps ye would both join us in the great hall for the evening meal.”

  “Certainly,” said Niall absently, but he wondered what Fingal was doing visiting with his wife. Moments later, his brother appeared with Tomas, who wielded a wooden sword. Niall’s jealously cooled when he realized Tomas had been visiting Katherine. Fingal had merely accompanied him as ordered.

  ~ * ~

  Agnes declared Katherine sufficiently recovered to make the trip to Duncurra. Since his guard had returned, Niall planned to leave the next morning. Therefore dinner would be something of a farewell feast. After bathing in the loch, Niall returned to their chamber to escort his wife to dinner. The effects of the cold loch water vanished instantly when he laid eyes on his lovely wife. A bath had been brought up for her and she sat drying her honey-colored silk hair by the fire. She wore a pale gold gown that hugged her figure provocatively. He hadn’t paid much attention to his lovely wife’s green eyes before, but now they mesmerized him. He wondered if the gold flecks had always been there, or if her eyes simply reflected the gold gown she wore. Once again, Niall remembered Father James had called her radiant; he couldn’t find a better word to describe her.

  ~ * ~

  Laird MacLennan spared nothing for the feast. His staff served an endless variety of delicacies and wine flowed freely. Malcolm could not have been a more charming host. It warmed Katherine’s heart to see the love and respect Niall had for Malcolm. They were extremely close as one would expect. When a young lad is sent somewhere to train, that family becomes his. In many cases men are closer to the family who fostered them than to their own families. The bonds of love and trust forged are intended to strengthen the alliance between clans forever.

  After years under her uncle’s cruel control, she had forgotten what it meant to be loved as part of a family. Malcolm certainly had made her feel welcome and she realized how much she’d missed that. She wondered if Niall’s clansmen would accept her as easily when she reached Duncurra.

  Until that evening, she had not left their bedchamber and she enjoyed herself immensely. The evening would have been perfect except she had the impression many of the women disapproved of her. She felt this most acutely from Duncan’s wife, Lana, who sat at the laird’s table with them. Lana made no attempt to hide her disdain. She barely spoke to Katherine during the meal, pointedly turning away from her and not engaging in conversation. Occasionally, Katherine caught Lana staring at her with contempt. Katherine couldn’t imagine what she had done, but assumed it might be because she wasn’t a Highlander, so she tried to ignore it.

  ~ * ~

  Although the feast showed signs of lasting well into the night, Niall told Malcolm he wanted to make sure Katherine rested well before they began their journey, so they retired early.

  When
they reached their chamber, the beautiful man she had married finally kissed her in a way he had only hinted at before. She shyly responded, opening her lips, and he deepened the kiss. She put her arms around his neck, giving in to the wonderful sensations, returning his kiss with abandon. He stroked her back lightly and, with the pain from her injuries gone, she shivered with delight. He pulled her hair free from its braid, running his fingers gently through her tresses.

  “Lass,” he whispered roughly, “I was going to wait,” claiming her mouth again, “until we were home... Ye need to rest.”

  His kisses befuddled her, but one thing was clear. She wanted more. “I am feeling much better, and I don’t want to rest.”

  “Ye, are certain?”

  She smiled shyly. “Aye, Niall, I am certain.”

  “My sweet lass, I have wanted ye from the moment I saw ye.” He lifted her into his arms, carried her across the room and laid her gently on the bed.

  Chapter 7

  Katherine slept soundly that night in Niall’s arms.

  Niall slept less soundly. He desired his wife, but he knew she needed to rest in order to make the ride to Duncurra in the morning. So he simply pulled her closer and tried to go back to sleep.

  Just after dawn they left Brathanead keep and Niall walked with her to where the men prepared their horses. He took Katherine’s hand before saying, “I sent word for Diarmad to bring ye something.” He winked at her. “Tomas, ye can bring your lady her mount now,” he called.

  Grinning from ear to ear at being part of the surprise, Tomas, led a strong brown gelding out of the stable.

  Katherine was thrilled and threw her arms around Niall, hugging him.

  A little taken aback, he looked down at her. “It isn’t that I don’t enjoy having ye ride on my lap and, if ye get tired ye can ride with me, but he is yours. I know your father gave Stormy to ye and nothing can replace her, but I thought having this brown beast as your own might help.”