Forgiving Hearts: Duncurra 1-3

by Ceci Giltenan

  Chapter 18

  After the small upset on Childermas, the festivities continued until the Epiphany, which celebrated the visitation of the Magi. On this day, people exchanged gifts in commemoration of the Magi’s gifts to the Christ child. When Katherine and Niall woke that morning, before leaving their chambers, he gave her his gift. Katherine fingered the delicate silver filigree brooch, inlaid with small precious stones, reverently. “It is beautiful, Niall, thank you.” She attached her airisaidh around her shoulders with it. “I have a gift for ye, too.” She smiled. “But I can’t give it to ye today.”

  “Why not?” He feigned disappointment.

  “Because it isn’t ready yet.”

  “When will it be ready?”

  “Early August, I think.” Katherine grinned.

  Niall looked at her in confusion until the meaning of what she had said sank in. “Katherine, are ye with child?” he asked.

  “I think so. I have all the signs. I am tired, cranky, and I feel sick half the time. When I missed my monthly courses in November, I thought maybe it was just from the upset over Eithne, but I have passed the time they are due in December now, too.”

  Thrilled, Niall pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He couldn’t have been happier; the woman he loved was going to give him a child. The woman he loved. In spite of everything preventing him from admitting it, he did love her, deeply and passionately. How could he ever have tried not to? Finally, he asked, “How long have ye known?”

  “I have suspected it for a couple of weeks, but I spoke with Effie yesterday and she confirmed it. I wanted ye to know as soon as I did. But it’s still so early in my pregnancy, I was thinking perhaps we should not announce this news just yet. Maybe we could wait a little longer.”

  “We will wait as long as ye wish, Katherine.”

  ~ * ~

  After they attended Mass and broke their fast, Niall said to Tomas, “Are ye ready to see your gift now?” Tomas nodded eagerly. “Well, we will have to go outside to see it.”

  Katherine laughed as Tomas grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door with them. Pulling their plaids over their heads to block the cold, Niall and Katherine led Tomas to the stable where he found his present, a sturdy Highland pony.

  The boy could barely contain himself. “Does he have a name?”

  “Nay,” answered Katherine, “but your pony is not a ‘he’. Ye will need to pick a lass’s name.”

  He thought for a moment, looking very serious, “Then I want to call her Mab,” he finally said.

  “Why Mab?” asked Niall.

  “I think it’s a pretty name and Maura told me a story once about a fairy queen named Mab.”

  “Then Mab it is,” said Katherine.

  Niall helped Tomas saddle the little pony, letting him ride in the courtyard. The tolerant pony seemed undaunted by the boy’s youthful exuberance. Niall stayed close, giving Tomas instructions on how to hold the reins to control where the pony went. Niall had selected this animal carefully and, watching them together, Katherine knew he had made a good choice. Gentle enough to be safe, Mab also had enough pluck to be a worthy mount for an energetic lad.

  As Katherine watched them, she remembered the pure joy she had felt when her father had given her Stormy. Giving Tomas the pony had been Niall’s idea, but she wholeheartedly agreed. In this moment, she felt truly and completely happy. She did not want to break the spell, but she had responsibilities she could not ignore, and the wind also grew fierce and cold. “I am going to freeze solid if I stay out here any longer. Besides there is still much to do.”

  “Please, can I ride longer, Mama?” Tomas asked.

  Niall answered, “We will let your mama go inside before she freezes, but ye can ride a few more minutes before we see Mab tucked in.”

  Katherine walked over to give them each a kiss before she went inside. She whispered softly in Niall’s ear, “I think it would be a good idea for Tomas to have a rest this afternoon before the feast.”

  Niall grinned and said, “That could be a challenge. I seem to remember unsuccessfully ordering his mother to ‘rest’ once.”

  Katherine laughed. “Do what ye can.”

  “Speaking of his mother resting, I know I cannot order ye to sleep, but I want ye to lie down in bed and close your eyes for a while this afternoon. The evening will be long for ye, too. Was that specific enough?”

  “Aye, Laird,” she said, grinning at him. She turned to reenter the keep, thinking “a while” still left a lot of room for interpretation.

  ~ * ~

  Much too excited to sleep, Tomas laid down on the bed that afternoon as his da had told him to do. Only babies took naps. He frowned and stared at the bed’s canopy, thinking about his new pony. Finally, he decided if he could just check on Mab one more time and make sure she didn’t need him, he could try to sleep then. He got out of bed and peeked out the chamber door into the hall, looking for anyone who might object. Seeing no one, he slipped very quietly into the corridor and down the stairs. He made it all the way past the second floor without meeting a soul, but before getting to the armory, he heard voices whispering at the bottom of the stairs. He crouched down so whoever was there wouldn’t see him, listening impatiently for them to leave. At first he couldn’t understand what they were saying, but as he listened more closely, he heard something that terrified him.

  “Everything has been arranged as ye required. It can only end in Niall’s death this time, and Duncurra will finally be yours.”

  “I am ready to be done with this mockery. I have pretended to be jovial and devoted for too long. I am just sorry I won’t be the one to kill him. Part of me wants him to know it was me.”

  As quietly as he could, Tomas slipped back up the stairs. He wanted to stop at his mother’s room, but afraid whoever was at the bottom of the stairs would hear him, he went to his own room and shut the door. He didn’t know what to do. They had been talking about killing his da. He needed to tell someone, but was so afraid of running into the bad people he couldn’t leave his room. He sat crouched by the fire for what seemed like hours when Fineen finally tapped on his door and entered. “Tomas, your mother sent me to bring ye down to the feast.”

  “I need to talk to Mama,” he said.

  “Well, come on then, she’s downstairs.” Tomas worried about the people in the stairwell, but if he was with Fineen he would be safe until he could talk to Da or Mama.

  His parents sat at the head table, but Lady Eithne, who was sitting near Mama, scared him. He didn’t like Laird MacLennan either, but he was sitting near Da. Tomas would have to wait until he could talk to one of them alone.

  He went to the table and his mama gave him a kiss. “For someone who wasn’t tired, that was quite a nap.”

  Tomas just nodded, moving as close to her as possible.

  She cocked her head to one side, “Tomas, is everything all right?”

  He nodded again but didn’t speak.

  “Do ye want to go sit with Uncle Fingal and have something to eat?”

  “Katherine, you do not give children options. They should be told what to do and taught to obey,” Eithne scolded.

  “Thank you, Eithne, we will have to disagree on that. Life is full of duties and obligations. I see no benefit in creating more where it isn’t necessary,” his mother said mildly, but he did not want to stay near Lady Eithne anyway. He backed away and ran to where Uncle Fingal sat.

  Tomas had never experienced feasts and celebrations like the ones at Duncurra. He loved the little pies filled with shredded meat and spices. He had never had one before, but they had been served every evening since Christmas. Nevan had told him it was good luck to eat one on each of the twelve days, but Tomas wasn’t very hungry tonight.

  On all of the other nights he didn’t want the fun to end, but now he was anxious for the celebration to be over. He needed to talk to Mama, but every time he tried, there were too many people around. He remembered thinking he would just put his head on the
table for a minute. He awoke the next morning snuggly tucked into his own bed.

  Dressing quickly, he hurried downstairs, stopping to tap softly at his mother’s door, but no one answered. He listened cautiously from the top of the stairs to the first floor to make sure the stairwell was empty before hurrying down to the great hall. Neither his parents nor Uncle Fingal were there, but thankfully, Lady MacIan and Laird MacLennan were absent as well. Father Colm sat at the table chatting with Diarmad, so Tomas went to them.

  “Have ye seen my mama?” Tomas asked, climbing into a chair beside Diarmad.

  “Not yet, Tomas,” answered Father Colm.

  Diarmad added, “I saw your da before he went out hunting and he said ye might want me to take ye to ride your pony this morning.” He motioned for a serving maid to bring a bowl of porridge to Tomas.

  “I don’t know,” said Tomas feeling very worried. “I need to talk to my mama.” He ate his porridge with his brow still furrowed.

  “Ye don’t know if ye want to go riding?” asked Diarmad. “Your da had to pry ye off that pony yesterday.”

  “I want to ride Mab, but I really need to talk to Mama.”

  “Is something bothering ye, lad?” asked Father Colm, looking concerned.

  Tomas liked both Father Colm and Diarmad. He really needed to tell someone about what he had heard, but the people he overheard had whispered. Not being able to recognize their voices, Tomas didn’t know whom to trust. He didn’t think it could have been Diarmad or Father Colm, but he would feel much better talking to Mama. “Well, I—,” Tomas saw Lady MacIan and Laird MacLennan enter the great hall. Looking at Diarmad, he said, “I would like to ride my pony. Can we go now?”

  ~ * ~

  That morning, Katherine slept much longer than she usually did. Between the late night and her pregnancy, she knew she probably needed the rest, but she felt guilty anyway. She hurried down to the great hall to find the castle servants well about the business of the day. Lady MacIan commented, “Katherine, dear, it is a wonder anything at all gets done around here with the lady of the castle sleeping half the day away.”

  Father Colm laughed, saying, “Now, Lady MacIan, I would hardly say half the day is gone. Why, ye yourself have only just arisen.”

  Lady MacIan glared, but she said no more.

  Grateful for the support, Katherine flashed the priest a quick smile. For once Eithne’s sharp tongue had actually given Katherine a valid reason to escape for a while instead of only the impotent desire to do so. “As I am getting a later start than usual today, I’m sure you will excuse me if I don’t join you for your morning meal. I have duties to attend to.”

  Katherine walked toward the kitchens, followed by Father Colm, who asked, “Lady Katherine, do ye mind if I walk with ye? There is something I would like to discuss.”

  “Not at all,” she answered.

  Father Colm inclined his head toward Eithne and Malcolm and said, “Please excuse me.” After they left the great hall he said, “Lady Katherine, your son seemed anxious about something this morning. He wanted to talk to ye. Diarmad and I tried to find out what was bothering him, but as soon as Laird MacLennan and Lady Eithne arrived, Tomas said no more. He has gone to the stables with Diarmad.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me. I’m sure you have noticed Niall assigns one of his guards to keep an eye on Tomas every day.”

  Father Colm chuckled, “I had noticed Tomas always seemed to have a guard with him. The days when Turcuil becomes a fierce dragon who needs taming are humorous indeed. I did not know the reason.”

  Katherine laughed, too, and went on, “Well, the primary reason is to keep Tomas away from Lady MacIan.”

  “That seems like a wise choice. It also explains a few things. Clearly the lad is cautious of both Lady MacIan and Laird MacLennan. I have found children and dogs to be uncanny judges of character. I will keep an eye on Tomas as well.”

  “Thank ye, Father. I will find Tomas as soon as I have spoken with Bridie.”

  “It is probably nothing, but I’m sure he will feel better once he tells ye what it is,” Father said with a reassuring smile. “Let me know if I can be of any help. I have some things to take care of in the chapel this morning.”

  It took much longer for her to seek Tomas out than she had anticipated. Before Katherine finished with Bridie, a servant came rushing into the kitchen looking for her.

  “My lady, there has been an accident on the training field. Fingal is hurt. They’re bringing him up to the castle now.”

  “Please go to my chamber quickly and bring me my bag of supplies.” Katherine sent other servants to prepare Fingal’s chamber and to bring other supplies she would need. Then she rushed to meet the men carrying him.

  From a distance she saw blood drenched his left side, but he was still alert. When she reached him, she assessed his wound quickly. It looked more severe than it actually was. Relief flooded her and she thanked God and his angels for their protection. “This isn’t nearly as bad as I feared. Why, it is a scratch, really,” she teased.

  Fingal groaned. “Just a scratch, is it? It hurts a tad more than any scratch I’ve ever had.”

  “Well, perhaps it is wee bit deeper than most scratches. I will clean and stitch it, but ye’ll be fine. The bleeding has already slowed. How did this happen?”

  Rab explained, “One of the young soldiers in training made a wild swing and lost his balance. As he fell, he slammed into Fingal’s back. Fingal was forced forward onto Bruce’s blade, with whom he was sparring. Bruce saw it happening and tried to avoid Fingal, but still managed to give him that wee scratch.”

  When they arrived in Fingal’s chamber, Edna awaited them with all the supplies Katherine required. Katherine asked Turcuil to stay, fearing that he might need to hold Fingal still while she worked. “Drink this,,” she said, giving her patient a potion.

  He swallowed it, shuddering when the cup was empty. “God’s bones, what kind of poison is this?”

  “I’m sorry, I know it’s bitter, but it will help with the pain. Here is some ale to get rid of the taste.”

  “Couldn’t we have started with the ale and skipped the other?”

  “This is likely to hurt quite a bit. I’m sure ye’ll be thankful for both.”

  “I believe ye; thousands wouldn’t.”

  She gave the potion a few minutes to begin working before she started stitching. She had hoped between the potion and the pain, he would lose consciousness, but he didn’t. With his jaw set and fists clenched, he remained silent as Katherine worked. By the time she tied off the last stitch, he looked pale and exhausted from the ordeal.

  “Try to rest now. The potion I gave ye should make ye sleepy. Turcuil, please stay with him and let me know if anything changes.”

  “I don’t need a big, ugly nursemaid. Now, if perhaps the fair Fineen wanted to tend to my needs, I wouldn’t turn her away.”

  “Ye are a rogue, Fingal MacIan. I think it would be best for ye to keep your mind and your hands off the ‘fair Fineen’ until your side is healed. I don’t want to have to sew ye up again. Edna will bring ye some broth shortly and I want ye to drink it all.” Katherine laughed when Fingal pouted, looking very much like Tomas did when disgruntled. It reminded her that she needed to find Tomas. “If he won’t let ye stay, Turcuil, would ye please look in on him frequently for me? I need to find Tomas, he was looking for me earlier.”

  “Aye, my lady. I’ll try to forget he called me a maid.”

  “He called ye big and ugly, too,” observed Edna.

  “Aye, love, I won’t argue about being big and ugly, but I am no maid.”

  “Well, if Fingal doesn’t want me to put bitter herbs in his broth, he’d better not call ye ugly, either.”

  Fingal rolled his eyes, causing Katherine to laugh as she left them to look for Tomas.

  ~ * ~

  She found him tending Mab in the stable. “Father Colm said ye were looking for me earlier.”

  “Aye, I was. I have
to tell ye something, but we need to be alone.”

  “We could go to my room. Will that do?” He nodded and they walked to the keep, going straight to the east tower. Katherine had barely shut the door to her chamber when Tomas’ arms were around her, holding tight as if he were afraid of something. “Tomas, what is it, sweetheart?”

  “Da told me to rest yesterday and I went to my room but I just couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking Mab might need me. Mama, I only wanted to go out to the stable for a few minutes to check on her, and I was going to go back to my room and rest like Da said to.”

  “So ye snuck out to the stables when ye were supposed to be resting? Is that what has ye so upset?” He seemed awfully distressed over something so small.

  “Nay, I didn’t get to the stables. When I walked down the stairs, I heard two people talking in the stairwell. They were whispering and I couldn’t understand most of it, but one of them said Da was going to die.”

  “What? Maybe ye misunderstood.”

  “One person said something was going to end in Da’s death and Duncurra would finally be the other person’s. Mama, I don’t want Da to die.” Tomas was near tears.

  “Tomas, don’t worry, Da isn’t going to die. Sweetheart, did ye hear them say anything else?”

  Tomas nodded, tears slipping down his cheeks, “The other person said something about pretending to be something for too long, and being sorry he wouldn’t be the one to kill Da, because he wanted Da to know it was him.”

  “Then the people ye heard talking were men? Did ye see them?” Katherine asked.

  “I think they were men. I don’t know, they were whispering. I didn’t see them. Mama, I was scared and I went back to my room. I was afraid to come out. When Fineen brought me downstairs I wanted to tell ye, but I didn’t want—anyone to hear. Then I tried to find ye this morning, but I couldn’t.”

  “It will be all right, Tomas. Stop crying, sweetheart. As soon as your da comes home, we’ll tell him. He will know what to do.” Katherine tried to reassure him, but her own mind spun as she tried to process what the boy had told her. She didn’t understand what, and perhaps more importantly, who Tomas had overheard.