Forgiving Hearts: Duncurra 1-3

by Ceci Giltenan

  Together they went downstairs to the great hall. A hush fell as they entered. Obviously, the news of what happened had spread rapidly. They took their seats at the table, but Tadhg did not give the signal to serve the meal immediately. He ordered Meriel and Kester to present themselves.

  Before Tadhg could say anything to her, Meriel started to explain, “Laird, it was a misunderstanding, an accident—”

  “Silence!” The entire hall fell silent. “In spite of the best intentions, misunderstandings and accidents happen and when they do I try to be tolerant of them. However, failing to gain permission to enter my private chamber is neither a misunderstanding nor an accident.” There was an audible gasp in the room suggesting at least a few people were not yet privy to the full story.

  “But, Laird—”

  He cut her off. “Enough, Meriel! Did ye call out or knock on the door to my chamber before entering it? Did I fail to hear ye?”

  “No, but I thought ye weren’t—”

  He put up his hand to stop her. “It doesn’t matter what ye thought. Ye should have ensured the room was empty before entering unbidden, and failure do that is a level of disrespect I will not tolerate.”

  “But I—”

  “Do not argue this point further! Surely ye are aware it would be well within my right to have both of ye beaten?” This time the gasp was louder and followed by murmurings.

  “Silence!” he commanded the hall. “In spite of what ye might deserve, I will not have ye whipped. I had decided to dismiss both of ye and have ye removed from the keep, but on further consideration—” He paused, glancing at Mairead before continuing. “—if ye wish to continue working at Cnocreidh, it will be in other positions. Kester, ye may work as a laborer in the stables if ye choose.”

  There were shocked looks on many faces. Kester looked both embarrassed and contrite. “Laird, I am dreadfully sorry for the intrusion. I’ll work in the stables. Thank ye for not dismissing me outright.”

  Tadhg accepted Kester’s apology with a nod. “Kester, yer work in the stables should not normally bring ye into the keep, but under no circumstances should ye enter the south tower unless I personally give ye leave to do so.”

  “Aye, Laird—thank ye, Laird.” He bowed before leaving the hall.

  “Meriel, if ye wish to continue working it will be as a scullery maid.”

  “A scullery maid, Laird?” Both the expression on her face and her tone of voice conveyed her disgust at the idea.

  At this, her father stood and pounded his fist on the table. “Meriel, how dare ye shame yerself and me in this manner? Laird Matheson has been more than lenient with ye, and he offered ye a fair choice.”

  Meriel stood rigidly with her jaw clenched and did not respond. “Meriel, what is yer decision?” Tadhg prodded.

  She looked livid, and tears pooled in her eyes. It was obvious she believed the punishment was neither fair nor lenient. Finally, she said, “I choose the scullery.”

  When she didn’t offer her apology, Tadhg prodded her gently. “Ye will also apologize, Meriel.”

  She looked from him to Mairead, her eyes shooting daggers. “I’m sorry, Laird,” she ground out.

  Tadhg’s jaw clenched as he stared at Meriel for a moment.

  “Meriel!” her father thundered.

  She scowled at her father, angry tears sliding down her cheeks.

  Tadhg sighed; her behavior disappointed him. “Ye will continue to reside in the keep with yer family, however, ye also are not permitted to enter the south tower unless I personally give ye leave to do so. Is that understood?”

  “Aye, Laird.” She was clearly furious.

  “Leave the hall now,” Tadhg ordered.

  She looked as if she wanted to protest, but she clamped her mouth shut and left the hall for the west tower.

  Tadhg motioned for supper service to begin.

  David turned to him. “Laird, I am very sorry. My daughter’s behavior was unconscionable. I appreciate yer lenience with her.”

  “David, she is nearly a woman grown. I do not hold ye responsible for her actions.”

  Elspet also approached the table. “Laird, I too must beg yer pardon. I thought I told Meriel to make sure the bath was ready for ye after supper.”

  “Elspet, ye have nothing for which to apologize. I am confident yer instructions were perfectly clear and even if they weren’t, ye certainly did not prevent them from knocking on the door.”

  Mairead had remained silent while Tadhg addressed the issue and she continued to be very quiet through supper. Undoubtedly the whole affair had been distressing to her. Within hours of her arrival, he had learned her reticence increased when she was embarrassed or became uncomfortable. Watching her now was beyond painful. As soon as the meal was over, he whisked her out of the hall, away from the eyes of the clan.

  Chapter 9

  Mairead woke well before dawn. The events of the previous two days consumed her thoughts. She decided the problem yesterday might have been in assuming things would be as they were in her parents’ home. When they were not, she wasn’t prepared. She needed to learn how to cope with the differences and try again. She whispered St. Brendan’s prayer.

  Help me to journey beyond the familiar and into the unknown.

  Give me the faith to leave old ways and break fresh ground with You.

  Christ of the mysteries, I trust You to be stronger than each storm within me.

  I will trust in the darkness and know that my times, even now, are in Yer hands.

  Tune my spirit to the music of heaven, and somehow, make my obedience count for You.

  Unable to return to sleep, she rose quietly and dressed. She did not want to go down to the great hall yet and decided to wait for Tadhg to rise. She went to the cabinet in her solar and took out her lute. Feeling she might be in more need of God’s help today than ever before, she decided perhaps Psalms were in order. She played and sang softly so as not to wake her husband. After losing herself in the music for a while, she looked up to find Tadhg standing in the doorway, listening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to wake ye,” she said, putting her lute on the table.

  “Ye didn’t wake me, but I was worried when ye weren’t in bed. Yer father didn’t exaggerate about yer skill. That was lovely, Mairead. At the risk of making ye blush more than ye already are, I must say I have never heard a more talented musician. Yer brothers said ye played several instruments well, but they didn’t mention yer voice. What were ye singing?”

  “The prayers of Matins.”

  “Yer voice is as pure and sweet as ye are.”

  “I don’t usually sing where people can hear me,” she said, blushing deeply as he predicted.

  He frowned. “Well, lass, ye will sing where I can hear ye.”

  She smiled at the odd command. “If ye wish, Laird. Shall we go down and break our fast now?”

  “Sing something else for me first.”

  Mairead picked up the lute and thought a moment. Then with a sly grin, she played a melody to which she sang the words of a Psalm, “Domine labia mea aperies et os meum adnuntiabit laudem tuam.”

  He laughed when the meaning of the words she sang sunk in. “Lord, open my lips and my mouth shall sing yer praise.”

  When she finished, they went down to the great hall. Over their breakfast, Tadhg asked, “Did ye speak with Oren yesterday?”

  “Nay, I didn’t.”

  “I thought ye were going to discuss the planning of meals?” He looked slightly disappointed.

  “That was my intention but I wasn’t able to.”

  “Mairead, sweetling, ye are the mistress here. Ye can’t let yer shyness keep ye from yer responsibilities.”

  “It-it isn’t that, really.”

  “Then why haven’t ye spoken to Oren yet?

  “I would have, but he hasn’t been here. Apparently he hasn’t been well. I will speak to him today if he is feeling better.”

  “That’s odd. I can’t ever remember Oren being ill.”


  This came as no surprise to Mairead. Based on the steward’s behavior toward her for the last two days, she was sure his sudden illness was simply an excuse to avoid her. She wanted to get off on the right foot today so she thought this might be a good time to clarify Tadhg’s expectations. “Tadhg, I assumed when we were married ye would want me to run all aspects of yer household, however, yesterday it occurred to me we had never really spoken much about it.”

  He looked a bit puzzled and slightly irritated by the question. “Aye, Mairead, I do expect ye to run my household. Has something made ye think otherwise?”

  “Nay, not really. I just wanted to make sure. I know Cnocreidh has been without a mistress for a long time, and I didn’t want to do anything wrong or overstep any bounds.”

  “Ye are Lady Matheson and therefore second only to me here. My staff knows that. It goes without saying, Mairead.” There was the smallest bit of exasperation in his tone.

  “That is good to know.” At his irritation, she wanted to tell him that although they might “know” his expectations, some of his staff certainly didn’t behave that way. However, she didn’t wish to disappoint him or cause a problem by telling him about the rudeness she had encountered just yet.

  “Where is this coming from? Is there something specific ye are concerned about, little one?”

  “Aye, I suppose there is. There is something I want to do. It is something my mother always believed was important, but I won’t do it if ye don’t think I should.”

  “What is it ye want to do?”

  “My mother briefly reviewed the steward’s books on a daily basis so she would know details about inventories and so forth. Also, several times a year, she reviewed the books in more detail, or more recently asked me to do it. It isn’t that she didn’t trust our steward, but she thought it was important.”

  Tadhg considered this momentarily. “Aye, that seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. In fact, while I have seen the books regularly, I haven’t ever studied them in great detail, and I think it is a good idea to do so. Would ye prefer for me to review them?”

  “Nay, I would be happy to do it, if ye wish.”

  “Is this what ye were worried about? Asking Oren to see his records?”

  “I just wanted to be sure I didn’t cause any offense.”

  “Ye have a gentle heart, lass, and I am sure ye would never intentionally cause anyone offense. Ye are the lady here. Ye need to stop worrying about things like this.” She smiled but said no more.

  After they had finished their light morning meal Tadhg left for the training fields, and Mairead remained in the great hall. She sent for Elspet, who joined her almost immediately. “Good morning, my lady, is there something ye need?”

  Mairead smiled warmly. “Aye, I need to speak with Oren before he begins his work today. I will wait for him here.”

  Elspet nodded. “Certainly. I will make sure he finds ye immediately. I will also ask him where yer harp is stored so it can be brought to the great hall.”

  “I think perhaps it should be put in my solar instead of the hall.”

  “Aye, my lady, I will see to it.”

  “Another thing—I would also like for a fire to be laid in the hearth of my solar. I think there may have been some confusion in that regard over the past few days.”

  Elspet looked stunned. “But I sent—nay, my lady, I am sorry. I will make sure there is no mistake today.”

  “Thank ye. I’m sure there won’t be. Elspet, I know it has taken several days to put the keep to rights after so many guests. How are things coming along?”

  “It is mostly completed. We should be back to our normal routine today.”

  “Very good. Then if ye have no other pressing work, I would like the hall cleaned and the rushes replaced and strewn with rosemary. I know ye probably did this right before the wedding, but since we had so many guests and days of feasting, the reeds are well trampled, and there is probably more debris in them than there might be otherwise.”

  “Certainly, my lady. I will see to it right after the midday meal. Will there be anything else?”

  “Other than my—”

  At that moment an extremely tall, gaunt man with sallow skin and a dour expression approached. He paid no heed to the fact that Mairead was mid-sentence. “Ye wished to see me, Lady Matheson?” His voice dripped with contempt. This must be Oren.

  “Pardon me?” asked Mairead, incredulous at his lack of manners.

  “I understand ye wished to see me.”

  “Perhaps ye didn’t notice I was speaking to Elspet when ye approached. Otherwise, I am sure ye would not have interrupted me. If ye will wait a moment, I will finish here, and ye will have my full attention.” She turned back to Elspet. “As I was saying, other than finding my harp and having it moved to the solar, I think replacing the rushes in the hall will be sufficient for today.”

  “Aye, my lady, I’ll see to it.” Elspet started to leave, but Oren stopped her.

  “Oh, nay, replacing the rushes now won’t be necessary. They were only done less than a fortnight ago, just before the wedding,” said Oren.

  “Thank ye for yer attention to these matters, Elspet,” Mairead said. She smiled, but her frustration with Oren grew by the second.

  “Ye’re welcome, my lady.” Elspet bobbed a curtsy before she left.

  Oren raised his voice a notch. “Didn’t ye hear what I said? The rushes don’t need changing.”

  Mairead ignored the insolence. “I don’t believe we have met. I am Lady Matheson, and I assume ye are the steward, Oren?”

  “I know who ye are and aye, I am the steward here, and I am in charge of this household. Did ye hear what I said about the rushes?”

  The servants in the hall had stopped their work and were staring openly as the steward argued with her. Oren’s voice carried, and he had made no attempt to be discreet.

  “Aye, I did, and while I appreciate yer observation, I would—”

  “It isn’t an observation, it is a fact.”

  With more pluck than she felt, Mairead lowered her voice so as not to make a scene. “That is the second time ye have interrupted me, and my tolerance is wearing very thin. As we have already established, I am Lady Matheson, and as such, I am in charge of this household. The decision regarding when to change the rushes is mine to make. It is abundantly clear ye disagree with my decision. However, in the future if ye wish to discuss a request I have made, ye will have the courtesy to do so without an audience.”

  The servants who had been staring took the hint and returned to their tasks. More gently, she continued, “I understand ye are the steward, and ye have taken on many additional responsibilities over the years to help this household run smoothly. I know Laird Matheson truly appreciates yer service. However, now he expects that, as his wife, I will manage his household going forward, including directing Elspet, Ide, and ye in yer tasks.” She waited for him to acknowledge what she had said, but when he didn’t, she asked, “is that clear?”

  “It is my responsibility to plan the daily meals with Ide. I have been doing it for years, and it only makes sense. I am the person who is fully aware of all our inventories.”

  “Again, I appreciate that ye have been doing this, but ye needn’t any longer. However, I’m glad ye mentioned the inventories. Ye are right—in order to run any household efficiently, one must be aware of what resources are available. Therefore, I would like to meet with ye daily to review the books briefly so I can make informed decisions. As I am new to Cnocreidh, I would like to start by reviewing the books in depth.”

  “My lady, I do not have the time to spend days going over the books with ye.”

  “I don’t expect ye to go over them with me. I can review them on my own and return them to ye when I am through. Please deliver them to my solar this morning.”

  Oren’s sallow face turned nearly purple. He practically hissed, “Ye may warm Laird Matheson’s bed now, but that fact certainly doesn’t qualify ye
to run this keep. If ye think Laird Matheson is going to let an upstart MacKenzie lass take over his well-run household, start issuing orders, and delve into his financial affairs, I’ll warrant ye have another thing coming.”

  Mairead looked down for a moment to compose herself. This was not going well. “Oren, ye and I have gotten off to a very bad start, and that was not my intention, but I am Lady Matheson. And yet, for some reason ye feel it is acceptable to ignore my requests and speak to me with frank hostility. I know ye have been an invaluable asset to this clan for many years, so I am going to overlook this one last time. I assure ye my actions are consistent with Laird Matheson’s expectations. I have spoken with him on the matter.”

  “Pardon me, my lady, if I am unwilling to accept yer word on this. I will speak with the laird, and we’ll just see what his expectations are.”

  “Ye must do what ye think is best. However, after ye speak to him, please deliver the books to my solar.”

  Looking angry enough to burst, Oren turned to leave, and Mairead stopped him. “Oren, before ye take yer leave, I have a bit of advice for ye.”

  He turned around, looking stunned, and arched one eyebrow, hissing, “And what’s that, Lady Matheson?”

  “When ye speak to my husband on this matter, ye may wish to avoid phrases such as ‘upstart MacKenzie lass’ when referring to me. I can promise ye he will be less tolerant than I have been.”

  Oren turned and stormed out of the hall without another word.

  Although it gave her a moment of satisfaction, Mairead was not happy about the interaction with Oren. She was shocked at her own boldness, but it occurred to her it is very hard to be shy and angry at the same time. This was not the way she wanted to deal with the staff at Cnocreidh; however, Oren hadn’t really given her a choice. After the unpleasant confrontation it became clear she would probably have a more productive conversation with Ide if she spoke with her alone. Oren did not seem overly disposed to be helpful, so she headed out of the keep in search of the kitchens.

  The kitchens were located behind the keep, but connected by a covered walkway. Mairead walked into the main kitchen, and although she had never met the cook, she instantly identified Ide by her efficiency and the tone of unquestioned authority in her voice as she directed the work underway. Ide was tall and sturdily built; she wore a kertch over her braided dark hair, and her weathered face suggested she had at least two score and ten years to her credit.